| Subject: Re: What is your DD/BDSM/spanking fluency? |
Author:
Brett
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Date Posted: 18:12:52 01/08/26 Thu
In reply to:
Anna
's message, "What is your DD/BDSM/spanking fluency?" on 06:09:23 01/08/26 Thu
I do not have a DD relationship with my wife, but we are into spanking and associated kinks. I am fascinated by traditional discipline, but she is on the BDSM side of things.
In my reading, I've seen a variety of DD relationships. The two larger different camps are as you suggest. BDSM is discipline for sexual power exchange, and not really a practice used for managing the everyday domestic life outside the bedroom. DD is just role-play. In the other camp, genuine Domestic Discipline may enhance a sexual relationship because the attraction is to that kind of leadership, and punishments that feel like traditional discipline in the home, usually similar to parental discipline. Punishment feels punitive, and sometimes sex will be prohibited for a time to ensure that there is no disciplinary compromise or ambiguity.
In both the BDSM and DD camps there are dynamics that fulfill other kinds of needs. For example, the dominant partner may not function well, or be able to handle a real adult relationship, and therefore needs a submissive partner who will not challenge them. Always getting their way brings peace and stability for both partners.
Other DD relationships may be genuine to the point where CNC is the mutually agreed upon dynamic, but meeting the needs of both partners is still of equal importance. There may sometimes be a butting of heads, and compromises must be made.
In some relationships, the dominant partner can be very nurturing, even like a doting parent, while in others the treatment can be harsh and self-serving, just right to complement the desires of a masochist.
Leadership may also be split, where one partner is the authority in certain areas of domestic life, and the other runs what they are responsible for.
There can be mixtures of all these examples in a single relationship, so I'm not suggesting it must be simple.
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