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Subject: Oo...The Fireside. I'm not that good at stories...so I'll try a poem.


Author:
Quin
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Date Posted: 14:01:52 03/31/02 Sun

Perfect Harmony

Sit upon the grassy ledge,
And look up at the night.
You blink and they blink right back,
stars forever bright.

The rustle of leaves upon the trees
as the cool wind blows,
combines with the rhythmic sound
as the river trickles and flows.

The slight aroma of fresh air
together with the birds
who chirp throughout the day and night,
and sing sweet and simple words.

Sounds echoing in your ears,
dig into your memory.
All these together create
perfect harmony.


I think it turned out pretty good...so whatja all think? *awaits comments and 'constructive criticism' patiently*

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Replies:
Subject Author Date
If you want constructive criticism.... I think the poem was very good, because it made sense, and wasnt just a jumble of words stuck together. *blushes* The only bad thing was that the syllables werent really lined up. Here's an exaggerated example, sorta: The cat was black, She scared me when I was wearing a back pack. Y'know what I mean? That was the only thing, tho... (NT)furrtil18:06:57 03/31/02 Sun
Thanks! An' Yep, I know whatja mean. *re-reads his poem* Yep, that is a problem...Yep. *pauses* I think the word 'yep' has become part of my daily vocabulary...Ye-*smacks himself on the forehead* (NT)Quin23:58:35 03/31/02 Sun
Blinkin marvellous for a new member wot wot! (NT)Lancepaw08:19:27 04/01/02 Mon
Me liked it! (NT)Tangle the grammatically correct!10:13:33 04/01/02 Mon
Absoballylutely spiffing! (NT)Okie21:12:05 04/01/02 Mon
Thank you! Hmm...maybe I should write another...*dashes off in search for writing materials* (NT)Quin23:26:41 04/01/02 Mon
Erks, now I'm nervous. Erks again. *grins nervously* By the way, who's Dartpaw? (NT)Quin23:47:51 04/04/02 Thu
Oo...I don't write stories, only poems. I'm not really good at stories. Oldbies...meep. I'm so 'young'. Been on for...lesse...four months and three days. Yep. (NT)Quin21:15:51 04/05/02 Fri
Two years! *feints a faint* That's...a lot. And thanks! (NT)Quin...Ooo...Goldfish...13:43:44 04/06/02 Sat
Erks! *faints...again* I'm so little... (NT)Quin01:37:10 04/08/02 Mon
*faints...again* I'm so little...erks. Ah well, I'll catch up someday. *blinks* But I'll never actually catch up to you all... (NT)Quin21:30:16 04/09/02 Tue
*nods* Yep. Lesse, I'm at four months right now...*blinks* 8 months til one year...*shrugs* (NT)Quin21:24:31 04/10/02 Wed
*pats Quin* Dartpaw's my brother in role-play, I'm surprised you don't know him, cause he was the Fort Storyteller before I was. I've been on the ROC a little more than a year, and I'll celebrate my first anniversary with Lancepaw's Fort on New Years. (NT)a squirrel19:02:11 10/13/02 Sun
*winks* It was supposed to be my alias at first, but eventually I let it "slip", and so I know Lancepaw, Tangle, Longlegs, and some others who know it's me. (NT)a squirrel18:16:30 10/18/02 Fri


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