This poem thingee is called what else, but Fire. Comments would be greatly appreciated to improve it. Thanks -- The Fire Side

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Subject: This poem thingee is called what else, but Fire. Comments would be greatly appreciated to improve it. Thanks

Author:
Winshen Riversong
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Date Posted: 00:36:29 08/01/03 Fri

Fire.
The flames, leaping, licking, clawing at the wood in the fireplace.
Fire.
The lightning flashes, a flame leaps into life, a forest destroyed.
Fire.
The torch burns in my hands, light illuminates, throw back the shadows.
Fire.
Screams in the fire, souls cannot escape, the fire consumes all.
Fire.
On my candlestick. One breath and it is gone.

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Replies:

Subject Author Date

It was good, but here's a little secret I use to increase the dramatic element when I write: Stop in the middle of a sentence so that it goes into the next line. If you don't get what I mean, read my poems, they're below yours somewhere. Peace. (NT) Kylie 01:17:20 08/01/03 Fri

And put the initial word (In this case, "fire") at the end of the poem. (NT) Vienna Rose 02:18:40 08/01/03 Fri

Thanks for the comments. :) (NT) -- Winshen Riversong, 05:33:36 08/01/03 Fri