I`m gonna try my luck at poems.This ones a bit weird though (Sory about the double post.This is the right one) -- The Fire Side

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Subject: I`m gonna try my luck at poems.This ones a bit weird though (Sory about the double post.This is the right one)

Author:
Southpaw the pregnant poet
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Date Posted: 14:12:46 12/04/02 Wed

When a child is born

A ray of hope flickers in the sky
Atiny star lights up way too high
All across the land dawns a brand new morn
This comes to pass when a child is born

A silent wish sails the seven seas
The winds of change whisper in the trees
And the walls of doubt
Crumble fast and torn
This comes to pass when a child is born

A rosy hue settles all around
You`ve got the feel you`re on solid ground
For a spell of two no one seems fororn
This comes to pass when a child is born

It`s all a dream, an illusion now
It must come true sometime soon somehow
All across the land dawns a brand new morn
This comes to pass when a child is born

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Replies:

Subject Author Date

Southpaw! I like, I like! Your wording and the mere flow of your lines as fab. In the second stanza, though, you might want to combine your lines three and four ^_^ and your might need a bit of punctuation. But otherwise, Thumbs up to you! (NT) Who else? Rettie. ^^;; 18:52:41 12/04/02 Wed

I like it it's very good did you use it in some sort of poem class thing (NT) Boromir 00:25:17 12/05/02 Thu

Hee hee! Dat's a Johnny Matthis song aint it! (NT) Tangle 08:15:50 12/06/02 Fri

Thought I recognized it ^_~ (NT) Lancepaw Fortesque 13:33:05 12/06/02 Fri

i like it, but did you not write it?? (NT) Lyra 22:22:19 12/06/02 Fri

Nope, checked the lyrics an it is another person's bally song wot wot! (NT) -- Lancepaw Fortesque, 19:32:00 12/08/02 Sun

*shakes her head sheepishly* "I thought I did at first. Trute is I had found a paper with the words,changed a few and I really liked the words so I put it up.Sorry :0( I didn`t realise at first. :0( (NT) Southpaw 15:11:40 12/11/02 Wed

It reminds me of a song I heard called "That's Why People Fall In Love." Both the song and your poem are really good. (NT) Foxy 21:52:52 12/18/02 Wed