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Date Posted: Saturday, August 30, 07:05:28am
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Anya Ayoung Chee
My Universe Experience
By Cedriann J Martin
Anya ayoung chee Photo: by wyatt gallery
Consider the beauty pageant as an existential enigma.
"I had a psychological, philosophical struggle," she said. "I was preoccupied with what being a beauty queen meant. What it meant about me. What I thought other people thought it meant: that the women don't have any brains, that they're parading themselves for the sake of competition, that you're selling yourself short if you do have brains. Now, having done it, I realise that the preoccupation with what anybody thinks was unnecessary. I was the one in it, shaping the experience. That was the lesson."
That introspection and sincerity would have struck like a lightning bolt in the Miss Universe pageant's question-answer segment this, or any year. But when the top fifteen were called last month in Nha Trang, Vietnam, Miss Trinidad and Tobago, Anya Ayoung Chee, wasn't among them. She recounted the rollercoaster of effort, expectation, disappointment and discovery from her Maraval gallery last week, the evening before her official, belated reception. (Anya stayed over after the pageant, truly exploring the host country before travelling to Cambodia with her boyfriend, photographer Wyatt Gallery.)
About three-quarters of the delegates, she said, were just there for the surreal ride. She was among the competitive minority.
"It was totally a double-edged sword," she noted. "There was no moment when you said 'okay, I can relax now'. You left your room wearing your sash and only took it off when you were going to sleep. You were supervised all the time. The reception was incredible. Every citizen knew it was happening and everywhere there were crowds and crowds. It was very exciting but it meant that you were on your game all the time if you chose to be."
Anya on stage in evening gown.
Getting press or a coveted spot on the pageant website didn't just happen. (Click the "contestants backstage" link on missuniverse.com and the first video that appears features Anya during her swimwear shoot.) Getting noticed was "exhausting" work.
I keep insisting in these pageant review interviews that the chemistry with other delegates must be claws-out-catty. Anya explained why it actually isn't.
"There was mutual understanding that we were all there for one reason. Everybody was mature about it. There was no bad-talking as far as I know. Part of the deal of being Miss Universe is being the kind of person who can rise above that pettiness and be professional and cordial to everyone," she said.
People were intrigued by her. They'd twist their heads to read her sash, then try reconciling "Trinidad and Tobago" with the Asian-looking beauty. (Did her appearance earn her any affection from the Vietnamese? "It certainly confused them," she laughed.)
She reflected that the depiction of country and self in the pageant context meant putting aside certain "edgy, alternative" elements of her personality.
"Artificial is not the word I'd use," she replied to my suggestion. "You're more or less a dramatised or exaggerated version of yourself. Maybe some girls were told more clearly what they should portray but nobody told me that I should be this or that. I was the best me. Granted, it was a version of me. There are other versions that wouldn't work in that scenario."
When Peter Elias, her family and the rest of the Trinidad and Tobago contingent arrived they got positive feedback on Anya's performance from other countries' pageant directors. She felt confident strutting into the final night. And after 14 of the finalists had been announced, Anya held out hope. She was momentarily crushed when the final name wasn't hers.
"I felt a lot of disappointment at that moment. The support was incredible and I was sad that I couldn't deliver. I wanted to be on that stage. I wanted the world to see Trinidad and Tobago. But after I cried and fixed my make-up I knew that I still had to represent my country. And I decided to move on and enjoy every moment after that," Anya recalled.
Six weeks later she still isn't exactly sure what to make of it all.
"My head had been in this zone that winning was the only option for three weeks. It is a funny place to be when you have expectations and you're also carrying the expectations of your country. It's very much speculation. The (Miss Universe) organisation has a business to run. They obviously chose a group of 15 who they felt were strong candidates for what they were looking for," she said.
Still, the journey itself has been invaluable. Collaborating with Meiling and Elias on her wardrobe (including her layered, free-flowing evening gown) was a treasured experience.
"I was very proud to have a largely local wardrobe at the pageant. I was a bit more upbeat and elaborate than the average person. I got the opportunity to express my creativity through accessories, lines, fabrics and cuts. Fashion is something I've always enjoyed and I will definitely pursue it more," she said.
She left her new job as Design Manager at Above Studio during pageant preparations. It was a difficult choice, but one that she now knows was right. Anya says that she'll be freelancing from now on, dipping into different projects including broadcasting, modelling, fashion design and collaborations with Wyatt.
"I was meant to make that move," she said. "I loved my job but I don't think I can sit behind a desk five days a week, eight hours a day. I enjoy having my hands in many different things. I definitely want to do a clothing line of my own. I'd love to have a company of my own where I have creative reign over many different genres."
Then there are the lessons any authentic experience of a new place brings. During the pageant she basically lived in hotels. But when the show wrapped the pair rented a motor bike and journeyed from Vietnam's temperate top to the tropical south with its blue seas and amazing stretches of desert-like sand.
"It's a very complicated culture. They were Chinese for a thousand years , then they were colonised by the French. But they always won the war and regained their independence. The country remains quintessentially Vietnamese. I find it amazing that they could maintain such a strong national identity. I'm sure it has something to do with being communist, but still "
She reflects that conservative Vietnam and Cambodia with its Indo-Chinese ethnic mix (where her features actually fit in) each offered completely different ways of thinking.
"When you experience that you really learn a lot about yourself. Inevitably," she said "that's a good thing".
On her blog, right under her name, are the words "sometimes I think too much". It's a useful idiosyncrasy for spinning as otherworldly and fleeting an experience as the globe's premiere beauty pageant into life lessons.
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