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Subject: Re: ohhhh yeah...chocolate


Author:
Angel
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Date Posted: 23:22:42 02/09/07 Fri
In reply to: Dreemdanser 's message, "ohhhh yeah...chocolate" on 21:22:32 02/08/07 Thu
 Since I was a teenager and had any interest in the opposite sex I had been misguided to say that I was in love...this went on for 20 years!...16 of those with my ex...I thought that that was what love was. People used to tell me ALL the time what a lucky woman I was to have a wonderful man, partner, father for my children, so I just thought it was me who was in the wrong...was it love to feel so incredibly lonely...to feel like I was losing my mind...to be afraid to even breathe sometimes...to not be able to open my mouth and say how I feel...was it love to have to rush grocery shopping to get back in time because if I was any longer he would flip...was it love to be pinned against the wall...to be hit in the belly when pregnant...to flinch at every move he made...to be on constant watch when my children were around him incase he turned his anger on them, the time when he threw a huge heavy sewing box across the room towards my beautiful 3 year old boy playing on the floor or the time he went to hit my young teenage daughter but was too drunk and instead she punched him in the stomach. Was it love when I had to call him from my mothers every Saturday so he knew where I was? I now know the answer to that...NO!!! It wasnt love. And no man will ever get away with doing that to me/us again.

Is it love to be told everyday that you are a Goddess...that you are beautiful...that you are the most wonderful person in the world...Is it love to be told that you are loved with all of their heart and soul and with every fibre of their being...is it love to walk down the road hand in hand and to be kissed in public...Is it love to have your butt pinched/patted/caressed as you walk through the supermarket...is it love to be focus of many many photos just because its you...is it love to have the doors held open for you...to have flowers bought for you...to be taken out for a meal...is it love to have someone hold you when your inner demons are playing havoc or you're having ANOTHER nightmare or you're having a panic attack in the middle of town...is it love where someone flies thousands and thousands of miles uprooting themselves from a beautiful country full of mountains, lakes, forests to be here with me and my kids on a pokey lil island in the UK? Too BLOODY right it IS!!!
Im nearly 39 and I am experiencing love for the first time ...how could I have been soooooooooooooo incredibly wrong all those years?? The last four years have been the best years that I have ever had...and now I know that I am TRULY in love!
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many of us with similar storiesDreemdanser14:15:38 02/12/07 Mon

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