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Subject: Re: depressed 58 year old woman Author: Carole Miles (happy) [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 08:47:30 01/01/10 Fri In reply to: Ruth 's message, "depressed 58 year old woman" on 22:24:13 12/30/09 Wed Hi Ruth really sorry to hear you speak about your self as a loser, stupid and inept, these words clearly don’t portray you. You have managed to get an MA and are aware of you considerable gifts. So why have you come to such a dismal conclusion about yours self. I have sat where your sitting now i do understand i’m also dyslexic and have had similar experiences of school as most dyslexics. So believe me when i say that its is only your point of view that is causing your distress, change your view point you change your experience of life. Sorry if this sounds hard or even simplistic its not, it takes hard work but here are a few tips i hope will help you to understand that you have the power to change your experience of life for the better. Use your abilities to read people and will see and you must know that people have issues that block their progress in relationships, work, education etc there are lots of single women out there that have failed relationships, broken marriages, pining over that one that got away and this as nothing to do with dyslexia, it is the default position human equals issues. The mistake i made and others make is that we mix up having dyslexia and being a human being with issues and it all goes in the same pot, but it all gets blamed on dyslexia, if your dyslexic. The work that needs to be done is to unravel dyslexia from the rest and deal with each issue in its own right. Your dyslexia is only a small part of the whole of your wonderful life, think about for minute it if you did not have dyslexia you would not have any problems? all your relationships would have worked out? you would be happily married now? because that what happens if you don’t not dyslexic, as if. I can’t keep writing i have to stop know but i give you one example from my life that demonstrates my point, i was so ashamed that i could not spell (i still can’t) if someone asked or even started to ask “how to spell” i would go blind with fear and i mean literally blind my sight would go all i could see was white and i could not tell if i was upside down or not it was that bad. now if someone finds out i can’t spell i could not care less, i know who i’m, and just because i can’t spell less dose not make me any less of a person. By the way did you know that to be diagnosed a dyslexic you need to register higher than average intelligence, if you don’t have an high IQ than you can’t be dyslexic. So your smart remember that, good luck with your journey i hope that you find pace with your dyslexia, i personally will always choose to be dyslexia because of the wonderful gifts it brings and i enjoy everyday. All the issues i have I’m working thought them one day at a time lol. Good luck.. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> [> Subject: Re: depressed 58 year old woman Author: Wanda [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:23:01 01/05/10 Tue Your description sounds exactly the way my daughter would describe herself. However, the reality is, she's smarter than the rest of us in the house, to the point that it amazes me sometimes. But all her self-assessments are the same as yours. Her intuition is tops, as is creativity and style. She is a really smart person, and so are you! It shows in your writing. Carole was absolutely correct in her reply. Strive to adhear to it. Change your focus, look at your strong points and utilize them. Also, focus on others more.

[> [> Subject: Re: depressed 58 year old woman Author: Elizabeth (happilly dyslectic) [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 12:53:14 03/11/10 Thu Ruth, Carole is right. I have been through feeling silly. Learning that I was dyslectic freed me of all my fears. Now I don't care that i cannot spell! Luckily there are computer programs that check your spelling for you. This way I can be a journalist - which I actually am. I can also read people, just like you. My mind also uses out of the mold patterns. There is a lot in common between all of us. I am sure nobody thinks that you are stupid. As for me - I know I am not - I have managed to hide my disability all my life! As long as it is not a severe case, I don't see what is so wrong with dyslexia. It only makes you more distinctive in the crowd!

[> [> Subject: Re: depressed 58 year old woman Author: Don (Interesting) [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 11:05:41 07/28/10 Wed I am married to a 58 year old female that cannot read or write. We got married when she was 19 years old. I did not realise the problem until she was about 21. Believe it or not tests revealed she was not dyslexic. (1974) I beleive these tests were wrong and they succeeded in ensuring her belief in herself as simply "Dumb". She tried a number of adult literacey classes over the years that made her feel even worse as the students had other disabilities. Our two children were born in the early 80`s. She was determined they would not feel like her. She worked as an irononing & cleaning lady and personally paid for good education as she feared they may inherit her perceived intelligence. Those kids are now double degreed beautiful adults ... anyhow to this day she beleives she is still dumb (but I know otherwise) and as we approach our retirement years she would like to try touching a keyboard & seeking help on the internet. (I am trying again to get her motivated to challenge her demon) She tells me that books designed to help her are childish, dumb and demeaning. Perhaps you can help guide me to help her. (Ithink she would love to read books on animals or even nice romantic true stories on life) I bet you are like my wife. I always use her incredible intuition, particularly when I have to make a judgement that relates to individual people or regarding colour or furniture selection for interior house design. But guess what she still gets very depressed at her work when asked to attend basic training requirements (She is employed as a cleaner still) as her peers & friends become aware of her disability. She is incredibly witty and can dress me down to size anytime with a ferocious tongue - especially at a younger age around menstruation time. As we have grown old together I have fallen in love with her even more. Can you help me help her? She would like to learn in private by the internet. She can only dream about the educational possibilities you have overcome.(she can`t even turn a computor on at the moment, but if I can introduce her to some entertaining type, learning challenges I think she will respond positiveley. Suggested websites would be good. For you to have acheved so much when dyslexic means you will be doubly gifted. You will have developed great ways to hide your fears - but in fact developed great perceptions in other fields. Don`t waste such great Talent - I know you can be of great help to many.