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Subject: Oganizing my to do list. Author: Drew [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 07:52:17 10/21/10 Thu Hi, I am 33 years old and just found out I'm Dyslexic. My wife is 100% sure and a nero psycologist (Dyslexic Specialist) is also 100% sure, but I still struggle with the fact that I am. I guess I don't fully believe it and just look at some of my issues as problems that everyone has that I can just overcome like I always have. The problem is School was easy to get through because I just failed through it with no actual consequenses. My 20's were also easy to get through because I had a simple job and had no real responsibilities. Now 30 married with 3 kids and own my own business my dyslexic issues had bubbled to the surface as I need to be extremely organized and things seem to just fall through the cracks. I get frustraded easily because I rely on my memory to store everything I had to do for that day. I have so many things that need to get done that I literally have hundreds of things in my head and can't even start them without feeling like I have to do another first. Here is an example of my todo/worry list today, my wife also asked me to write how I feel about each thing.(it seems insane to me but here it is): 1. Best Man Speech, wedding next week. (Dumb/lazy) 2. Clean Basement (Lazy) 3. Electrical work in basement (Dumb/bad with money) 4. Put up shelves in basement (Lazy) 5. Personal Budget (Unorganized/dumb) 6. Drain Spout needs fixed on house. (bad with money/dumb) 7. Credit Card Debt (get rid of it) (bad with money/dumb) 8. Savings (get more) (bad with money/dumb) 9. Play with Kids (guilty) 10.Paint Bathroom/Laundry room (lazy) 11. Date Night (bad with money/dumb) 12. Read book I have been not reading (dumb) 13. Insulate Basement (lazy) 14. Put up ceiling in Basement (lazy/bad with money/dumb)) 15. Organize personal budget (Dumb) I can't do the little things on this list because i feel like I should be doing the big things first so I feel guilty. I can't do the big things because I feel I should be doing the little things. With most things on the list such as something simple like painting the laundry room I have a list of little things that go along with it like, pick out paint, get all the things I need, prep area, get the kids somewhere and so on and so on. I feel paralized by it and then get frustrated to the point where i get nothing done and just feel exhausted and worthless. In my mind every item goes together. I can't pay to have the drain pipe fixed because my personal budget is not organized in my head. I can't clean the basement because I need to do that electrical work, I can't do the electrical work because of budget issues and I have to do the isulation, ceiling and clean it first anyway. This is the kind of stuff that is in my brain everyday and just writing it here sounds insane to me. I feel like my issue is not dyslexia but just poor organization and planning and then feel dumb that I can not fix it. I guess I'm writing this to see if any other adults experience this and if it is in fact a dyslexic trait that I am explaining. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Oganizing my to do list. Author: Gary [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 16:14:22 10/21/10 Thu Drew, You are putting too much blame on dyslexia. I have it and I’m 55. I have my own business and it can be hard keeping everything going right. I build and design homes. People come up to me all the time wondering how I build these monsters of homes without getting overwhelmed. I tell them that I only work on it one piece at a time. I don’t worry about the roof if I’m working on the foundation. I ask my children. How do you eat an elephant, The answer is one bite at a time. So when you get overwhelmed don’t give up just take another bite. Good luck, and remember that even an ant can eat an elephant.

[> [> Subject: Re: Oganizing my to do list. Author: Drew [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 04:06:29 10/22/10 Fri Your right, one thing at a time. I guess I was just trying to solve the impossible issue of dealing with a million things at one time. Not possible, lol . Do you do anything to help keep on task or keep yourself organized? I'm much better when I stick to my normal schedule but when I take the day off I get overwhelmed. I'll find myself at home feeling like I should be working or doing all the things around here and get get started. Small steps make perfect sense but do you have any tips on how to organize or prioritize my massive todo lists into small steps so I can feel like I am getting things done?

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Oganizing my to do list. Author: Gary [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 18:50:35 10/22/10 Fri Well let me tell you about when I had to clean my workshop. We got so busy we would just come in at night and throw everything on the floor of the shop. This went on for about six months. Therefore, you can imagine what a mess I had. When the day came to straighten the place up, I had no clue where to start. I think I just walked around the mess for about an hour or so, just trying to find a starting place. I started thinking. You know this mess did not happen at once. The problem I had was, I wanted to straighten it up all at one time. I had to stop and look at one thing at a time; I started working in the corner of the shop. Not concerning myself with the whole mess just that one corner. At some points the shop looked worse than it did before I started. However, I just kept working out of the corner. I did not jump around from one side to the other. I found one thing and put it where it belonged, and then went to another object and did the same. The corner just got bigger and the mess got smaller. Until there were no mess at all. It took me 4 days. Break your jobs down to the lowest denominator and then start from there.

[> Subject: Re: Oganizing my to do list. Author: Malcolm (Coping with dyslexia) [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 07:48:40 10/26/10 Tue I suggest that you buy yourself a dictaphone. Leave yourself little messages of things to do if you use the dictaphone everything you need to do leave yourself one message when you've done that one thing you can arise that message and move onto the next one this makes life much easier for me give it a try got nothing to lose

[> Subject: Re: Oganizing my to do list. Author: Beau (relieved..) [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 01:50:33 11/02/10 Tue Your post is me.. Did you ever figure anything out? I'm relieved to hear thats not just me... I've thought I was nuts for a while now. I have so many lists I can't keep my lists straight and I don't care enough anymore to even try. I was where you were when you posted about a year ago. Do you find that sometimes you can really get your sh*t together and then sometimes not at all? I was diagnosed in third grade. I went to a summer school for dyslexia right after. I feel like the older I get the more I lose control on the self discipline it takes to keep myself straight. I can't make myself do anything anymore. I don't know if thats depression or dyslexia... but I know it sucks.

[> [> Subject: Re: Oganizing my to do list. Author: Drew [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 04:54:20 11/02/10 Tue I find surrounding yourself with organized people really helps. My wife is very organized and now that I can identify the areas that I have issues with, it really helps to talk about them. Little things that would get me frustrated in the past would have us all confused because she never new why I was feeling that way and either would I. Now we can see them and solve them. At work I have an assistant who keeps me organized. I mess things up and he cleans them. Doing one thing at a time should really be the motto of the dyslexic. I really have taken the advise from above and tried write little to do lists and break them down into small things and accomplish those first. It's works sometimes and sometimes it doesn't but I haven't been frustrated like I have been in the past.

[> Subject: Re: Oganizing my to do list. Author: Adrian McLaughlin [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 16:01:09 11/07/10 Sun My problem is you have to much wrighting for me to read. I think you are "thinking way way to much" just do a littal at at time. I did the same thing back in the 80's I had a business making all kinds of money. I was useing my memory to run it, then I ran it in to ground and became homeless. Now I make notes,My wife helps me with spelling. I will call her from my job. I don't konw if I made any sences but thats how I servive dyslexia. Adrian

[> Subject: Re: Oganizing my to do list. Author: Phil Baltazar (Know the feeling) [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 16:04:14 11/09/10 Tue Like you I had some changes at the start of my 4th decade (30) that made me look closely at myself. A difference between the two of us is that I have always known I am dyslexic. Here is a list of the best advice I can give to you. 1) There is nothing wrong with you. It is like being left handed, most of the world is build for rightys. 2) You think differently. Do your best to think of it as a gift. When I turned 30 I decided to embrace myself as I am, dyslexic and all. It changed my life and I have improved ever sense. 3) For me my faith in Christ has been a huge strength. So if you have faith... use it. If not, consider one. It really helps for me to believe that God made me the way I am and He has a plan for me. 4) This is IMPORTANT. You will need to starting working on building a new thought pattern in your mind. Stay with me here. Give as much mental energy to your positive thought as your negative thought. You will never been done working on this but you really need to start. Negative thoughts about yourself is very powerful in your mind, you need to reverse this thinking. If you do not the thoughts will spill onto your wife and then your kids and you do not want that. 5) Consider an aid like the drug wellbrutrien, and something to focus you like adderal. They make things much easier. Bottom line. Celebrate the victors at least as much as you morn the defeats. You have a very powerful mind, now your are going to learn how to use it. I truly hope this is helpful.

[> Subject: Re: Oganizing my to do list. Author: Steven (OK) [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:21:08 11/11/10 Thu I know what you mean. Especially the bit about the budget. I dont know how much money I have, I can never remember. I just look at the wad of notes and in my mind, its either enough for what I want or not. I only count at the checkout. Even then I can usually just look at what I have to know if its about right or not. My house is always in a mess because of priorities, like I should be cleaning up now, but I am on the computer instead. What really gets me annoyed is that if you explain your problems to any kind of professional and ask for help, the discussion quickly moves on to how you FEEL about it. For crying out loud, I am just looking for methods on how to deal with it. If you explain how it has or is affecting you, then suddenly, miraculously, you have a VICTIM mentality, and everyone has the same problems as you. BS of course, but that seems to be the way it is.