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Date Posted: 14:41:44 08/05/03 Tue
Author: mvd
Subject: Contentment
In reply to: Adilbrand 's message, "Meeting People" on 13:42:27 08/05/03 Tue

First of all, I think we are talking around each other. You are speaking of goals in the material world as opposed to personal goals for change such as: I talk too much, or I wish I was nicer or less arrogant or smarter or whatever.

I have goals too. This does not mean that my core personality and being changes, nor that it ever will. I have known you a long time, and though little things have changed in your life, you are pretty much still Vince.

Now, the case for contentment. Striving for goals usually springs out of discontentment. Discontentment is akin to unhappiness and contentment to happiness. Many times when we strive for things, we must live through periods of unhappiness/discontentment before we arrive at our goals. You have even stated yourself that happiness is not somewhere in the future, but must exist now. There is nothing wrong with striving for things, but there is always the attachment that we must weather unhappiness to get these things. And it seems strange that in these situations we choose unhappiness now for the promise of happiness later, since we do not live in the later, but live in the now.

You argue that contentment equals stagnation. Yet, how can it be stagnation to be happy with the way things are? Stagnation hints at some sort of rot, but I do not see a rotten man when I see him smiling and at peace with himself and things. If life were a test and we were meant to change and improve or become different, then I really suppose there would be a final exam or something. But, as far as I know, there is only the test a man gives himself, when all is said and done, and I see no reason to believe there should be any other kind of test.

Now, there is another kind of striving and goal setting that springs from the love of the fight, for the love of whatever we are doing. I wish to publish my book. You wish to see Inzeladun change. But--- you love the act of changing it. It is not an unhappiness for you to change it, it is rather an outgrowth of what it is to be you. Artistic and creative endeavors fall into this category as well, and they make up much of what it is to be beautiful and alive.

It doesn't gain a man much to be unhappy with who he is. Surprisingly, there are a lot of people in the world who are. This is the sort of discontentment that is destructive. Contentment in these regards is always best.

Your life has changed, and thus your desires. You desire to be a better teacher, so you have become one. You find value in meeting other people when, long ago, you might not have cared so much. When you worked at Snappy, did you really care to become a better manager? Doubtless, because you did not love your job, you did not. You desired only to make money and support your family. Yet, to achieve your desire, you felt pressure to do better, to become better. And thus taking on desires that did not spring from within you, you were doomed to fail, doomed to live the entire time in vast unhappiness. We do this to ourselves often. We don't always have to have a boss that does it for us.

Because you love teaching, becoming "better" now takes on a new meaning for you. It is no longer based so much upon what other people think, but upon your inner desire to achieve. Your inner desires with work mesh with your inner desires to support your family, and thus you are essentially--- barring a few incidental discontents--- content!

I am not saying change is bad. It is healthy when motivated from our purest hearts. But some desire for change is unhealthy, too.

I guess the question must be, how can we really fault contentment, when those who are content seem so darned happy?

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