How have I got myself into a situation like this! -- Unplanned Pregnancy Discussions

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Subject:

How have I got myself into a situation like this!

Author:
Amy (Very very ashamed)

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Date Posted: 12:10:27 03/30/07 Fri

Ok where do i start. Hi my names Amy i'm 19 & i'm from the uk, i found out on 03/23/07 that i was pregnant this came as a huge shock to me as i've been told by my doc that i'd always need help to have children. i've been with Danny for the past year & for some stupid reason i cheated on him i'm now seriously paying for my actions but he has been fantastic and has stood by me. i had my scan on the 03/28/07 and was told i was 7 weeks gone but the problem is i'm now not sure who the dad is as the dates are way to close for my liking this is why i've opted for a termination. i feel very selfish & deeply ashamed of myself as i've never done anything like this b4. when i first met Danny i was going through a divorce & while i was married me and my ex husband decided to try for a baby & i ended up having 6 misscarriages, a baby is all i have ever really wanted but not in this situation. i feel i have no support from my mum/sisters as they all know the trouble i've had trying to have a baby none of them want me to have a termination. i have my first appointment on april 2nd and i'm so scared incase i'm making the wrong choice but i know its the right one for me & my baby. i live in a small village where everyone knows everything and no one is talking to me since i cheated on danny if they was to find out i was pregnant i would get complete hassel i feel so lost and alone its untrue i just cant belive i've done this to myself

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Replies:

[> Subject: Re: How have I got myself into a situation like this!

Author:
Kris
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Date Posted: 16:09:35 03/30/07 Fri

Dear Amy,

There are some sentences you have used in your post that cause me to wonder if termination is really the right choice for you.

You have had 6 previous miscarriages - and those losses were hard on you.

You also say you are feeling selfish and ashamed, I can almost gaurantee those feelings will only get worse if you go through with this.

Also, you're scared if this is the right choice, and so, that says to me it's probably not the right choice.

Who cares what folks will say about you? Those kind of things really don't matter in the long run.

I tell young ladies like you that an abortion is a PERMANENT answer to a TEMPORARY problem.

Life situations change - finances, relationships, etc. but something like an abortion will stay with you forever, like the 6 babies you have already lost.

If you would click over to the "post abortion support" board here:

http://www.voy.com/129741/

Just read through the posts - and see the what the women that have had abortions have to say about it, I think it will be eye opening for you.

You can always consider adoption - and there are also paternity tests to determine the babies father once it is born, if you want to keep him or her.

You aren't the only one that has been through this. So many women find themselves where you are right now. I even think a lot about the virgin Mary - she really was in a tight spot - 2000 years ago - pregnant - and Joseph knew he was NOT the father - and they weren't married - boy - what a dilemna! I'm just saying that God knows where you're at, and He cares, and loves you and your baby - and just go to Him in prayer with it all.

You are welcome to email me directly - Hopkinskc@aol.com

Hugs, Kris

[> Subject: Re: How have I got myself into a situation like this!

Author:
Pat
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Date Posted: 03:15:39 04/04/07 Wed

Hi, Amy,

You are the person who has to live with your decision. The people in your small town don't. You need to make a decision you can live with. Follow your heart! This may be the only baby you ever conceived that you can carry to term. Don't throw that away lightly.

And you have plenty of people in your corner. You have Danny, who has been fantastic. You have your family, who want you to protect your baby. Ask yourself why the people in the town matter more to you than your own family! In any case, let them talk! Learn that your well being doesn't depend on their opinion of you. It may be a very valuable lesson. Yes, you made a mistake. But do you have the courage not to make a second mistake? Don't let busybodies who obviously care more about their social standing than your welfare and future decide what you are going to do. How do you know abortion is right for you? The people who really matter to you don't agree! Lots of women would give their eyeteeth to get that kind of support!

If necessary, go live in another town for awhile, and give your baby up for adoption. But I'm guessing that once your baby is born, you will welcome him or her with open arms. Your baby is depending on you for your protection. Please protect your baby.

We will be here for you, to offer you encouragement and strength. You CAN do this. Take one day at a time. Heck, if I could have stopped all the ugliness and ridicule that happened to me over the years, that would have been nice, but you know what? I don't care about the opinions of people like that. I have learned to roll with the punches.

Hugs,
Pat