Re: And still nowhere -- Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

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Date Posted: 22:55:23 05/21/16 Sat
Author: lily
Subject: Re: And still nowhere
In reply to: Todd 's message, "And still nowhere" on 20:16:54 05/21/16 Sat

hugs Todd.

mine retracted his admission of bisexuality too. yet I have had his gayness confirmed by someone who knew him before he even met me.

I do not believe you fall in love unless there's a reason for it, a lack of affection in the marriage. She doesn't get to claim her sexuality has nothing to do with the marriage ending. It has everything to do with it. How were you supposed to know about her attraction to women unless she told you herself.

It's like playing bridge. your partner makes a bid, you make a bid somehow you end up in the wrong contract. How did it happen? What you have to identify is where it first went wrong, who gave the first piece of misinformation because all the bids thereafter follow on from that and cannot be good bids.

She misled you from the start. Nobody is perfect but she's still trying to heap the blame on you.

I think you are doing a good thing tunnelling into the guilt and self hate - my bet is you will find a lot to admire in yourself and nothing to feel guilty for.

wishing you all the best. Lily

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Replies:

Re: And still nowhere -- Rob (Self compassion), 23:33:54 05/21/16 Sat