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Subject: Re: This feeling is bad - Me too


Author:
Shelly
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Date Posted: 16:28:41 01/21/07 Sun
In reply to: Heather 's message, "Re: This feeling is bad" on 09:50:49 01/21/07 Sun
 I totally get where you are at. The thing is -we all have our days of strength and then those days of weakness. I have days when I feel so good and want to move forward with no second thought to the addict. Then, there are days when I worry about him, wonder how he is, and have a deep desire to want to HELP. Those are the days this site is great b/c you can gain strength on your weak days from those of us who are have a strong day! :)
I found out that my ex is losing everything. One of his 2 homes is in foreclosure, his 2nd home is getting ready to be, and the only reason he still has the BMW is b/c they haven't repoed it yet -but very soon. Even though I won the child support case -it doesn't look like I will be getting any of that money or even get it down the road since he is losing both his homes so quickly. It sucks for me. But -the other side of it -my weak side -makes me feel sad for him -where will he go? Where will he live? This is a man who had everything -had a great career making a ton of $ -and he will now have nothing material -and he has already lost his friends, family, and children. It makes me so sad that someone could sabatoge themselves so horribly and not see it clearly enough to get help - fast! Also -his brother and I spoke for an hour. Long story short -his family was trying to stand by his side in hopes anything would help him. They have not spoken to him since June either. His brother wants to 'do the right thing' and see my daughter, regardless of how his brother feels about it. I am torn. This family has stood by my daughters father when he made poor choices regarding his daughter -now they want back in. I am so torn on what is the right thing to do for my child. Does knowing her dads family, feeling loved by them, being a part of their family minus her drug addicted father in her best interest. OR - does just moving away from anything and everything to do with her drug addicted father the best thing for her. I have asked her what she wants -and she really doesn't know either. I think a part of her wants to be involved with them just to have some sort of closeness with the other side of who she is. But then, her fear of abandonment and hurt over their choices in the past keeps her from wanting to open up and/or spend time with them. As a mother -I want to help her to make the best choice for her -but I do not have any idea what the answer here is. Days like this make me so angry at HIM for becoming a drug addict and putting all of US through the hell of the aftermath of HIS choices!
Any advise on what to do about his family and my daughter would be welcomed. My mom thinks my daughter needs that from his family -my dad thinks I am an idiot if I let them into our lives again. I just don't know. I really don't.
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Re: This feeling is bad - Me tooHeather18:31:53 01/21/07 Sun

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