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Subject: Re: This feeling is bad


Author:
Heather
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Date Posted: 09:50:49 01/21/07 Sun
In reply to: Shelly 's message, "Re: This feeling is bad" on 18:39:09 01/20/07 Sat
 Thanks Shelly. Makes alot of sense coming from someone who knows where I am. It did exactly that. This is the longest I haven't talked to him or rather seen him. I was able to go two months before, now its more than that and he still hasn't made any effort. I guess I was confused as to why he hadn't made any effort when he always did before. I guess I got my answer that I really didn't need, but o well. I know he is using and I don't doubt my intuition at all anymore. I just keep remembering why I fell in love with him, the great and wonderful times and that is what I miss very very much. I prayed today and asked God to help me let go of that and bring me someone else someday that I can give all that unconditional love to and receive it back in return. I have that with my kids, but we all know a relationship with a kid and with a man is 100% different. Anyhow, that kind of love for a man was wonderful when I was getting it in return not when I was the only one giving it though. I don't want to feel that way again. I still have a very hard time opening up to any man. I am starting by working on my relationship with my dad and that is the best place to start. I made sure my relationship with my kids was strong first though and we all three work on that daily. Kids are smart when led in the right direction with love. It does help. Talking to them and explaining daily things to them helps so much. Anyhow, my dad and I are getting along great now and I am ralizing how much I am like him and how big his heart really is but that he had to do something for himself because he would get emotionally involved and it hurt him really bad to watch us kids mess our lives up, so he let us be ourselves so that he could have a life. He did the right thing. He doesn't talk about it because I'm sure his heart will ache and he might break. I am sure all his kids are on his mind all the time. I am learning through being a parent how much pain loving your kids can cause you because you want to protect them.
Anyways, Spencer has caused us alot of pain and I have allowed it and I have come a very long way. I will not give up now. I am going to continue my journey as I have. Thank you Shelly for your advice. It does help.
Heather
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Subject Author Date
Re: This feeling is bad - Me tooShelly16:28:41 01/21/07 Sun

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