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Date Posted: 17:02:37 11/18/02 Mon
Author: CCCook
Subject: Re: Studs, Texas - Book Two - New segments
In reply to: CCCook 's message, "Re: Studs, Texas - Book Two - New segments" on 16:59:49 11/18/02 Mon

From Sue:

*This segment includes a few *colorful* words. (for lack of a better phrase)*

Hope quietly clicked the switch to the off position, and closed the door to Justin’s room behind
her. Silently moving into the living area of her apartment, she discovered Josh in a state of
uneasy repose upon the sofa . Other than their brief moment together earlier at the Pear, Josh’s
manner this evening had been quite unnatural. He seemed distracted almost fidgety at times as if
dealing with some weighty matter. A few times throughout the evening, she had asked him if
there was a problem; over dinner and on their subsequent walk back to her apartment; but he
just shrugged it off saying nothing was up. Noticing her approach now, he quickly got to his
feet and brushed his hands down the front of himself as if to ease away some unseen wrinkle.
“Everything okay?” He whispered.

“Yes” she answered almost immediately. “And with you?”

He looked back at her as if confused by her response before issuing a quick, “Yes.”

Taking his word for it once again, she asked. “Would you like some coffee or tea?”

“Yes...no...” He bit off as his blue eyes met with hers.

“Is there something wrong, Josh?” She spoke up sincerely once again and noticing his
hesitation added quickly. “I’ve noticed that you seem out of sorts tonight.”

“No...yes...” He reiterated again and then shaking his head, he reached for the envelope he had
placed in his back pocket before handing it to her now slightly creased. “...here...you’ll be
wanting this back...” He began.

Hope studied it briefly before realizing it contents, and returned her focus towards his face easily
reading the troubled stare that met back with hers.

“The registration went okay then?” She questioned almost instinctively, watching Josh’s face
for confirmation. It was his hesitation that caused her to wrinkle her brow in perplexity before
finally asking again. “Was there a problem?”

“They needed a parental signature.” He answered quickly.

“So they wouldn’t let him sign up?” She returned anxiously.

“No...” He supplied just as quickly before hastily adding. “...They said he could join up as long
as you signed the form by tomorrow at the registration table they’ll have set up at the field.”

Hope let out a small sigh of relief. “Is that all?” She asked almost as a second thought
alleviated that she didn’t have to tell Justin, he couldn’t play T-ball.

“Yes...no...” Josh began again, his discomfort increasing rather than diminishing. Hope only
continued to look back at him in hope of some type of affirmation as he finally muttered.
“...Look it’s none of my business...”

“What is...” She began now becoming more confused with each passing second, but moving
closer to him in hopes that he would explain the situation.

Noticing the anticipation shining within the depths of her gray eyes, he let go of his hesitation
and spoke up. “It’s the matter of the birth certificate.”

Hope said nothing as her eyes beckoned him to continue. “It’s just...just...well there was some
confusion over it with the registrar assuming I was the parent, then sending Justin away while he
pointed out the details....” Then shaking his head for lack of a better word, “information
regarding the father...his father...” Her quick intake of breath acted like a knife towards cutting
the tension now mounting in the room. “If he hadn’t sent the boy away...it might have proven to
be a difficult situation.” His blue eyes seemed to burn into her gray as he waited a long time for
her to respond to this disclosure.

Finally when she answered only with an, “I see.” Did the intensity of his stare turn to one of
incredulity and without thinking, he grated.

“No, I don’t think you do see.” The sudden fierceness in his answer startled her from the calm
she was striving so hard to maintain as he went on. “How do you think Justin would have felt if
the man registering us didn’t have the foresight to look into the matter before asking such
information?” It was Hope’s turn to stare back incredulously at Josh. A slow anger began to
burn through him, and never before had she seen him act this way which only spurred her to
remain frozen in place as he went on. “Didn’t you stop to think about that? Didn’t you dare to
contemplate what his feelings might have been had he found out that way?” Taking the
previous nervous hands that he held in front of him, he quickly drew one into a fist and used it to
smack hard into the palm of the other to relieve some of the frustration in the matter before
going on once again. “You should have told me...prepared me... I wasn’t ready to answer...”

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable...” She began very tight lipped desperately trying to
quell the rise of her own agitation brewing inside of her over the situation and his
uncharacteristic reaction to it. Perhaps she had asked too much...had expected too much of
him... her own mind pondering the thought as he continued on.

“Me...uncomfortable....” He began, his voice now rising in volume. “It wasn’t me I was
thinking about but the boy... Don’t you think it’s about time he should know-know something?”

“I don’t think that is any of your business...” she quickly shot back.

The words she used couldn’t have stunned him more, even though he used the same phrase
himself mere seconds before, and he staggered back a little as if receiving a physical blow.
Releasing his previously tightened fist, he set about running it shakily through his hair while
trying to gather some thoughts, then swinging it through the space between them in an
unchecked gesture, he went on to utter. “None of my business?! Oh, so I see we’re back to that
again, are we? I thought we were past all of that now!”

Stepping back, she looked back at him frightfully, but he continued on with his harangue unable
to stop himself now. “I see we haven’t gotten past that! What you really mean is that you still
don’t trust me.”

“It’s not a matter of trusting....” She began hoping to once again regain some measure of
composure.

Turning away from her momentarily, he thrust his hands deeply into the pockets of his taupe
colored khakis before wheeling around to face her again. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you
should have given me some warning...and stop looking at me like that. It has nothing to do with
me being uncomfortable...my feelings...but the boy’s. Dammit Hope! How do you think Justin
would have felt learning his father is listed as unknown?” His breath now coming out in a
harsh gasp from the anger that coursed through him, and his face now showing a telltale stain of
red from the increase in blood rate pumping through his veins. Her face however was almost
paper white, drained of all color.

“It’s none..” She began.

“Sh*t! Don’t tell me again it’s none of my business! You made it my business!” In his mind a
little red light was flashing on and off, warning him not to proceed any further and that things
were getting out of hand; perhaps irreparably; but it was as if he was helpless to turn off the
stem of the tide of irritation that coursed through him or stop the stream of words that flew
from his mouth. “Do you realize that not 6 days ago he asked me if I was his father? He’s been
asking questions! Isn’t it about time you tell him the truth or at least some of the truth?” He
finished now in a tumble of words ending with an uneasily claimed resignation .

A flame of red now glowed brightly in each cheekbone of her previous pale face. She opened a
mouth to speak, but stumbled over the words that refused to come. The redness was now joined
by a sudden brightness that filled her gray eyes as she finally managed to choke out. “ How-
dare- you? How-dare-you tell me how to raise my child as if you were a parent! I might not be
awarded some g*d damn medal for my efforts, but I do the best that I can! And you- you have
the gall to stand there and tell me what to do?!” And now even more horrified by her reaction to
his outburst than before, she burst into tears as she finished spitefully. “I’m sorry if I haven’t
lived my life as saintly as you have yours...” Before choking off a sob and turning her back to him;
erecting a precariously crumbling barrier; while trying desperately to regain some modicum of
control over herself and failing miserably.

“Hope..” He spoke up, a contriteness now present in his voice.

“Please leave...” Came her strangled reply.

“Not until we’ve talk...” He began, placing his hands upon her shoulders in an act of comfort.

A cold shiver ran through her instantaneously, and just as quickly she shrugged the perceived
offending contact away while she issued her terse entreaty once again doing her best to control
the hiccupping shiver that tore through her as she did. “Just leave....Please!” The desperation
that echoed in her words inciting him to release his light grip upon her shoulders, and he turned
regretfully towards the door; hesitating once again as he reached it.

“I shouldn’t have...” he began and she immediately cut in.

“ We’ll wake Justin... Just go...please...” The pain in her voice cutting him to the core.

Trying to come up with an answer, he fell short and only added. “We’ll talk tomorrow.” Unable
to keep the crackling of despair from his own voice as he passed through the now open door
before closing it behind him; hoping, no praying that those words would prove to be true.

Hearing the telltale click of the door closing behind her, she took the few remaining steps
towards the sofa in front of her before sinking down upon it’s comfort , her hands urgently
seeking an old, worn throw pillow into which she quickly buried her face while she allowed the
remainder of her tears to flow.

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