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IZZARDITES



Welcome to the UnOfficial Eddie Izzard Message Board!
  • More silly stuff -- Alison, 15:41:10 02/19/04 Thu


    http://www.weebls-stuff.com/games/8/

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  • Found this on Neil Gaiman's blog -- Alison, 09:09:06 02/17/04 Tue



    http://www.nad.org/openhouse/action/alerts/captioningcensorship/list.html


    Are deaf people really in need of such protection?

    Do you know what? I think they're probably just normal like you and me (whatever that means) and should be allowed to decide for themselves.

    See below for the full story on his blog :

    http://www.neilgaiman.com/journal/journal.asp

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  • Knock, knock... Is this thing on? -- Bryan, 21:52:09 02/11/04 Wed
    Here, go play kids. : )
    waste basket

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  • Revenge!!! -- Papa Lazarou, 13:12:30 02/07/04 Sat

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  • Silly link -- Bry, 20:12:29 02/06/04 Fri
    Bush Girls


    Thats all I have really.

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  • How to waste hours of your precious time........... -- Alison, 10:13:16 01/24/04 Sat

    http://www.damell.net/yp010.swf

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  • Something else weird........ -- Alison, 08:21:36 01/30/04 Fri


    http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/gollum.php

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  • Don't do it, Bela!!!!! -- magic1, 04:33:19 01/30/04 Fri
    I don't care HOW rich he is, or how knicker-dropping his accent, or how big his....coop.....don't go kissing any Vietnamese chickens! I *would* be jealous of your adventures, except that I have a very cunning plan to win this contest. I am still trying to decide between Paris and Bangkok, and currently accepting applications to be one of my 3 friends. Leave the cash in a bag by the Sea of Tranquility.

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  • it's all so quiet ...shhhh .. shhh .. -- béla, 09:49:38 01/28/04 Wed

    dont you just love björk??? lol ...

    ladies and jellyspoons, 2 more days and i am outta here for 3 weeks .. considering the time i usually take off for my vacations, this can safely be considered a short-trip .. lol ...

    it's 3 weeks trekking on the ho chi min trail, and i promise not to kiss any chickens ... here, chicky, chicky, chicky ...

    you guys take care, hugs and *mwah*

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  • I have to make other people listen to it or it will NEVER get out of my head. -- Bryan.... too lazy to do the html you must copy/paste, 11:56:09 01/25/04 Sun
    It's awful.... yet there is something.

    http://www.thecapricorns.com/sounds/the_capricorns-the_new_sound.mp3

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  • HIJACKED AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -- Gaby, 07:59:01 01/24/04 Sat
    I was happily browsing here when I once again found myself shanghaied aboard that OTHER idiotic Party Poker Uncensored Unspeakable dimwit festival of nerds.
    Bryan we need your magic again, ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    And thank you. Really. Truly. Please save us...

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  • Of course, none of this applies to me........... -- Alison, 12:02:34 01/15/04 Thu
    ----- 20 signs when a girl should call it a night...

    1. You have absolutely no idea where your bag is.

    2. You truly believe that dancing with your arms overhead and wiggling your bottom while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.

    3. You've suddenly decided that you want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe that you could do it too.

    4. In your last trip to "pee" you realise you now look more like Lily Savage than the goddess you were just four hours ago.

    5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. kebab on the floor (which you're eating even though you're not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.

    6. You start crying and telling everyone you see that you love them sooooo much.

    7. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.

    8. You've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to you.

    9. The man you're flirting with used to be your biology
    teacher. Oh God.

    10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a
    table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.

    11. Your eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so you decide to keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.

    12. you seem to think that its a really good idea to get your mates to push you down the street in a shopping trolley.

    13. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving you just lemonade, but that's just because you can no longer taste the vodka.

    14. You think you're in bed, but the pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor.

    15. You start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."

    16. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.

    17. You're hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

    18. You're soooo tired you just sit on the floor (wherever you happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.

    19. You begin leaving the buttons open on your button fly
    pants to cut down on the time you're in the bathroom away from your drink.

    20. You take your shoes off because you really believe it's their fault that you're having problems walking straight.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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  • I must be psychic! -- Mrs B, 21:38:46 01/21/04 Wed
    Talk about eerie! I just happened to look at the board today for the first time in absolutely months and what do I see? A fantastically hysterical story by the Caledonian Kid who I'm immensely pleased to see! *mwah* I have to say that it is true about me and Will, I'm more obsessed about him than I ever was Eddie *shock horror*

    And what's all this about the board? I see we've been invaded again but sorted out by Bryan. Thank you Bryan, whoever you are! OK, gotta run but promise to be back again later. Hope everyone had a good Chrimbo and New Year!

    *tries to think of a witty Eddie quote to close on but fails miserably* Ahhh, I know! I love you..............bye!! ;-)

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  • Ou est Mrs B? -- The Caledonian Kid, 00:25:03 01/16/04 Fri
    I know this is her board but its been aaages since i've seen a message from her. Shes in danger of becoming folklore, behold a glimpse of the future, YOUR future (cue trippy special effect):

    "Mummy, how was the board created?"
    "Well, in the beginning there was an Izzardite Queen known as 'Mrs B' and she created the Voy board for all the loyalist Izzardites when they fled the original board"
    "Why did they run away?"
    "Well, to begin with the Izzarddotcom, the home of the Izzardites, was a happy place where many met to talk,legend even tells of the mighty Izzardus himself appearing occaissionally to loyal Izzardities there in those happy times. However one day there was a regime change by Izzarddotcom's governor, a being known as 'The Administrator' who commercialised it and alienated the fanbase letting it be overrun by a race known as the Asskissas and their allies the Pisstakerz. In those days there were many Izzardites, they were puritans who had formed a common bond through their likings of the muses of the jovial bard Eddius Izzardus"
    "All hail king Eddie"
    "...yes. They were a good people and for a while the board was a home from home for the Izzardities. However soon their numbers dwindled. Many Izzardities got lost in this new and strange land and couldn't find their way back. Others emigrated to the more prosperous land of Coveredinbeez where the climate was more suitable for some Izzardites. Even the founder of Voyland disappeared."
    "What Mrs B?"
    "Yes, some say she went to another board, others say she led an army of Izzardites in a failed attempt to retake Izzarddotcom, some even say she was taken away by Izzardus to become his queen"
    "Oooh"
    "And ever since Voyland has been a colony on the edge of extinction governed by a few Izzardite elders led by Bela The Wise"
    "People say that Mrs McShoogle looks like Bela The Wise"
    "Come now, thats nonsense! True there is a resemblance but EVERYBODY knows that Bela The Wise doesn't wear glasses".
    "But they both like pinching young men's bott..."
    "That's quite enough now young lady!"
    "Ok.....so does all that story mean that the Izzardites are going to disappear?"
    "I don't know, the prophet Gumtree of the American geocity 'Eddiefanz" recorded a list of all the refugees who made it to Voyland, many of whom have long since departed these shores but not many venture there nowadays..."
    The though of venturing outside the Voy board was a worrying thought what with all the hairthieves and pilotfish out there but both of them knew that maybe, just maybe, that was where the answer lay...

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  • Gee, it's a bit quiet. -- Bryan, 15:08:40 01/21/04 Wed
    I hope the goons aren't making you work too hard and that everyone is well. Nothing to say really. No fun links or anything, just bored. I did look in my Will Young folder and found the pic of Mrs B and Will. They're probably in Belize sharing a beach hut. What's scary is the fact that I have a Will folder! Well, have to organise things somehow. I have a couple of folders I'm scared to look in.

    béla stay off my naughty cam site! I know it isn't you but someone using the name "bella" has taken over and she keeps chatting up all the cute ones! *SIGH* my Robbie looking man disappeared. Haven't seen him in ages.

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  • Bela! -- The Caledonian Kid, 02:05:47 01/10/04 Sat
    I know a pretty german girl and need to impress her enough to make her want to jump on me in a fit of sexual frenzy...or fancy me at a push. Do you know any (good) german chat-up lines?

    In return here are a few for chatting up Scotsmen:

    "Is that a caber in yer pocket or are ye just pleased tae see mi?" (by the way, thats spelled with an accent in case you think i'm dyslexic)

    "So where d'ye keep YOUR haggis?"

    "If i blow on your bagpipe do YOU make a noise?". (i know that one is a bit crass but i'm getting desperate).

    "Is it true that whisky makes you frisky?".

    And i'd like to end on the best chat up line i have ever heard:

    You:"You know, you remind me of a parking ticket"
    Person: "why a parking ticket?"
    You:"Because you have FINE written all over you"

    I thankyou...

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  • Things NOT to say on air -- The Caledonian Kid, 01:08:19 01/13/04 Tue
    MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer
    for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

    Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

    MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:
    "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

    JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

    Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on 'This Morning': "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."

    WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."

    ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond:
    "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

    CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

    CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
    There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

    JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:
    What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

    STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."

    THE new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

    WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."

    CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team' Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

    A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?"
    Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

    >US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"

    Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

    Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."

    Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."

    New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

    Pat Glenn- Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

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  • I really shouldn't bitch... -- Bry, 12:46:29 01/10/04 Sat
    alot of people have much worse problems.
    It went down to a nice refreshing 5 degrees F overnight. That's -15 degrees Celsius for the metric peeps. (at least that's what google says, I can't be bothered with the math.) I'm fooking freezing here.

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  • Family Tree -- Doris Kieran, 14:54:58 01/08/04 Thu
    Can anyone tell me Eddy,s family tree as I am very interested as he said his roots go back to Rotherfield Sussex.

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  • i tried on a thong once ... -- béla, 09:30:46 01/09/04 Fri

    ... i am still to dig it out ... ;o)

    http://www.stud.ntnu.no/home/alexann/

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  • $79.94 for Glorious on VHS? -- Bryan, 04:04:53 01/09/04 Fri
    and it's USED? For that much I want Eddies autographed piccie, several articles of clothing and a lock his of hair... for that price I want Robbie's underwear too.

    I'll take the new $13.99 one. Thank You Very Much.

    Now can someone find me Sexie in region 0? : ) Crap, I'll just go watch All The Queen's Men and SWAT instead.

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  • trouble-kats and cyber-cats ... -- béla, 10:56:02 01/08/04 Thu



    guess what: i've been chatting to a guy who looks EXACTLY like that cute little emu down below ... yes, even that grumpy .. and with a bit grey in his fluffy hair ... roflmao ... i am SO cruel .. but fair ....

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  • Ha Ha Ha -- The Caledonian Kid, 00:23:11 01/06/04 Tue

    Just visited the old eddiefanz site for the first time in years! It's like a wee time capsule! I especially love the way i'm still described as "almost 20" (says the Kid who is "almost 23" now). I hope it never changes!

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  • Fine feathers make fine birds! -- béla mcshoogle, 11:09:32 01/04/04 Sun
    that's what it said in my new year's eve-cracker .. yes, we pull x-mas-crackers for new year's .. *G* .. so, what is THAT supposed to mean? do i have to wear only puma shoes and dolce&gabbana clothes now or what??? is somebody telling my i am not dressing good enough???


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  • ...hmmm -- The Caledonian Kid, 03:11:56 01/03/04 Sat
    Its me again folks!
    Been a wee while but i'm back so i am! Hope you're all having a wonderful new year!
    So far its been a washout for me, hogmanay was cancelled in Edinburgh for like the first time EVER because of the horrendous weather which was trying to kill us i'm absolutely certain (Al Qaeda? Possibly...whoever he is).
    Also got Eddie's new DVD and, it honestly pains me to say this, but how the mighty have fallen. I didn't think Circle was up to scratch (apart from the Darth Vader sketch which was grade 'A' material) but i do think 'Sexie' should be avoided because he's obviously not at his best(although do know a couple of people who went to his gigs in Newcastle and Glasgow and they loved it).
    Anyway how is everyone t'would be lovely to hear from y'all! And if you don't know me...then you should :-)

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  • Just because I like it. -- Bryan, 02:29:09 01/03/04 Sat


    Happy New Year All

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    Big thanks to Dobee for the Collage!

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