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Date Posted: 01:17:01 12/28/01 Fri
Author: Rowan Silvertree
Subject: Thinking about home
In reply to: Tristan 's message, "Great idea!!!" on 23:42:39 12/27/01 Thu

When Tia turned away from him to wipe the tears from her eyes, Rowan didn’t know what the hell to do. He didn’t generally assume the role of comforter, although he did like Tia a lot. It made him feel like a bit of a dolt for just sitting there awkwardly, but fortunately Jeremy reappeared, apparently having done what he wanted to do with Marz.

Rowan was about to berate the addle-headed kid for pursuing an interest bordering on lunacy, but Jeremy made him pause in thought when he started talking wistfully of his home world. He couldn’t help wondering what a millenium celebration was, and just what exactly you needed a license to drive (images of flying carriages and dragons with saddles began to swim through his head). Before he could let his overactive imagination completely take him over—he was in the process of wondering how to fit a dragon with a bridle—two things happened: One, Jeremy suddenly asked if he missed his own home world, and two, Val arrived to have a private word with Tia.

As Rowan watched longingly while the healer led his friend away (longingly because he didn’t like the thought of her wandering off like that…course, the guy was a healer and all…but still…), he thought a bit about Jeremy’s question and couldn’t help shaking his head. He didn’t really like talking about home.

“Things had already changed way too much before I left,” he admitted, taking a sip of his own java. “Hell, it sucked, losing my mom and dad,” he glanced curiously at Jeremy, “but I guess you know how that feels.” He sighed, the melancholy look passing over his usually bright face look a bit out of place. “I imagine back at my place, things are being run by the people I hate the most, for one thing. To tell you the truth, kiddo, I don’t really want to go back. This place suits me just fine!”

He grinned, his features lightening a bit. “And before all that, I guess things were okay, but I don’t really miss it. I mean, sure, I had loads of friends, more money than I knew how to spend, and plenty of people to spend it on, but I….” Uh oh. Why was he suddenly starting to get that bad feeling again? The one that crept down his throat and settled uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach?

“I mean, I got you guys now, right? And we have fun, getting into trouble, meeting kings and queens, making money, stuff like that.” He cleared his throat and tried to smile again, feeling proud of himself when he succeeded. He shrugged. “When you get down to it, the present is only what you make of it. And dwelling on the past isn't going to make it any better.”

He thought about that for a bit and was satisfied with it before turning to Jeremy again. “So what’s a millenium celebration, anyway? Is it like Solstice?” He glanced at the sky, but realized he’d have to wait until nighttime to judge the position of the stars—and anyway, he didn’t know how to tell if it were winter here or not.

“Oh, by the way,” he added as an afterthought, “I saw you throwing yourself at Marz again.” He gave Jeremy a stern look. “Look, kiddo, I know it’s hard, but you’ve got to stop pining over somebody you can’t have.” He thought to say, “Someone who doesn’t want you,” but decided that might be a bit harsh. “I know what it’s like to lose yourself over something like that, and trust me, it’s no treat. So get over it while you can and just move the hell on, okay?”

At this point, Tia returned to sit beside him. Rowan waited for Val to walk off out of earshot before turning to her and asking, “So, what’d he say? Your eyes are going to be all right, huh? It pains me to think you might never get to see my handsome mug again, you know.” He couldn’t quite help adding that last part, just to sort of lighten the mood. And it did pain him, really. Well, not that part about his face. But it did pain him.

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