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Date Posted: 10:24:42 01/07/03 Tue
Author: Surf
Subject: Here it is ...
In reply to: Syberia 's message, "Middle Age Humor ?" on 21:56:45 01/06/03 Mon

I had this posted for well over a week. As soon as I took it down the eamails asking for copies started coming in.

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke
any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up
and break up.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed
up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those
darn kids next
door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes
around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go
up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of
McDonalds leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of
the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would
severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and
antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good
stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces,
"I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer
is for real work.
24. You no longer drink at home to save money before
going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for
one sign that doesn't apply to you.

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