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Date Posted: 17:04:51 11/01/05 Tue
Author: Finn Mac Cool
Subject: Re: very funny
In reply to: manwitch 's message, "very funny" on 13:47:04 11/01/05 Tue

Riley wanted the relationship to continue, but by that point I think he had written it off as over unless Buffy was willing to change. I do agree that Riley had a problem with Buffy being stronger than him, but I think that fits into a general feeling he had of being inferior when with Buffy. Basically, he was having his own version of a Zeppo crisis, feeling that he didn't matter much and wasn't appreciated in the world that Buffy lived in. He couldn't ignite the same passion in Buffy that Angel did, he was discouraged from going patrolling with her or on his own, and was basically cut off from much of the "inner Slayer" stuff Buffy was going into at the time. As Grahm put it, "You used to have a mission. Now what are you? Mission's boyfriend? Mission's true love?"

Upon looking at it, the Buffy/Riley relationship was a lot like a gender-reversed version of an archetypal tale: woman falls in love with man; woman marries man; woman gives up a promising career to be with man; woman finds herself with little life beyond caring for the house, her children, and her husband; man spends most of his time at work or out with friends, reserving little attention for her; woman then either lives the rest of her life unfulfilled, cheats on husband, and/or leaves him. Riley gave up his military career in order to be with Buffy, finding that, now that he's a mere mortal dating a superhero, he's expected to stay out of the big, apocalyptic matters Buffy deals with, whereas, in his old life, he would have rushed right in. Riley feels he's not getting the attention or respect from Buffy he needs, so he cheats on her with someone who can give him attention, and finally threatens to leave unless Buffy (Riley's metaphorical husband) agrees to change how their relationship functions. I don't know about you, but I usually feel sympathy for the woman in the archetypal story described above, so I naturally find myself sympathizing with Riley when put in a similar situation. He wanted to be with Buffy, but he couldn't base his life around one person if she wasn't willing to include him in her life more.

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