Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your
contribution is not tax-deductible.)
PayPal Acct: 
Feedback: 
Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):
| [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, [4], 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ] |
| Subject: making a baby | |
|
Author: Anonymous |
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 09:09:31 11/19/08 Wed Making a baby. This is hilarious!? > >There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!--? > > >The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate >father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, >Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, >'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.' ?? > >Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer >happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. >'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...' ?? > >'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, >'I've been expecting you.' ?? > >'Have you really?' said the photographer. >'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' ?? > >'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. >Please come in and have a seat'. ?? > >After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'? > >'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the >couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor >is fun. You can really spread out there.'? > >'Bathtub, living room floor? >No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!' ?? > >'Well, Ma 'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we >try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm >sure you'll be pleased with the results.' ?? > >'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.? > >'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. >I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, >but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.' ?? > >'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.? > >The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his >baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said. ?? > >'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.? > >'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their >mother was so difficult to work with.'? > >'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.? > >'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job >done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good >look'? > >'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.? > >'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The >mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, >and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the >squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, >I just had to pack it all in.' ?? > >Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually >chewed on your, uh...equipment?'? > >'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and >we can get to work right away.'? > >'Tripod?'? > >'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. >It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'? >Mrs.?Smith?fainted > [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |