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| Subject: rijbewijs kopen | |
Author:  Anonymous[ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 08:05:50 05/12/20 Tue Vi er en gruppe av eksepsjonelle mennesker som har ekspertise i å lage dokumenter av topp kvalitet. Ikke bare dette, men vi deler også hjertelige forhold til ambassader i forskjellige land, utenriksdepartementer, internasjonale passkontorer og utdanningsinstitusjoner. Vårt nettverk og rekkevidde er spredt over hele kloden. Som et resultat av at vi har en global tilstedeværelse, kan vi lage både falske og ekte førerkort, oppholdstillatelse, pass, visum, grad, vitnemål, valuta og alle andre typer dokumenter. Vi er et ti år gammelt selskap innen produksjon og levering av dokumentasjon med 100% suksessrate. E-postadresse oss på echtedocumentenonline01@gmail.com OU NETTSTED: https://echtedocumentenonline.com/hoe-rijbewijs-kopen-online/ https://echtedocumentenonline.com/koop-je-rijbewijs/ https://echtedocumentenonline.com/ [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Comprar carteira de motorista online Portugal, alemão e italiano | |
Author: Anonymous[ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 20:08:09 05/11/20 Mon como obter a sua carta de condução online em Portugal, alemão e italiano Como obter uma carta de condução em português, alemão e italiano (dokumenteonline1@gmail.com) em Portugal Você sabia que pode obter uma carta de condução on-line ?, pode comprar a licença B, C, D e assim por diante. Contato: (dokumenteonline1@gmail.com) Esta é uma história que eu gostaria de compartilhar. Vi um post na internet sobre como comprar uma carteira de motorista registrada. Comecei imediatamente a contatá-los para ver se isso é verdade. Assim que entrei em contato com esses caras, eles responderam imediatamente, dizendo que o preço é de 500 euros, e eles precisam de duas fotos, um cheque de assinatura e algumas informações pessoais. Também defini o endereço de entrega. Não tinha muita certeza, mas o que devo fazer se precisar urgentemente desta carteira de motorista? Decidi correr o risco de precisar urgentemente deste documento para o meu trabalho, e quanto antes fosse melhor. Paguei 300 libras como inicialmente três dias depois, fui contactado por vladislav, dizendo que minha carteira de motorista estava pronta para uso. No dia seguinte, recebi uma ligação para confirmar que não havia pacote para mim. Para dizer a verdade, não acredito muito nessa história de compra de cartas de condução on-line. Eu decidi tentar. Recebi o pacote e havia um livro dentro. Abri o livro e vi minha carteira de motorista. Isso foi real! e a carta de condução era como eu queria. Com as informações solicitadas. Pronto para usar!!! Parecia impossível, mas a licença real resultou em meu nome. Enviei ao sujeito 300 euros em vez de 200, porque estava muito feliz !!!! Agora, tenho um emprego desagradável com a ajuda de David e lucro. O que eu entendi é que você precisa ter autoconfiança nos outros para ter sucesso na vida. Confiei em mim mesmo e confiei em minhas ações, espero que minha experiência tenha inspirado muitos leitores. Eles obtêm uma carta de condução de um país terceiro e a convertem diretamente em sua carta de país através da troca da carta de condução. COMPRAR A LICENÇA DO CONDUTOR (PORTUGAL) https://www.onlinedocumentos.com https://www.onlinedocumentos.com/ https://www.onlinedocumentos.com/about-us/ https://www.onlinedocumentos.com/comprar-carteira-motorista-portuguesa/ https://www.onlinedocumentos.com/contact-us/ https://www.onlinedocumentos.com/contate-nos/ COMPRAR A LICENÇA DO CONDUTOR (ALEMANHA) https://www.xn--onlinefhrerschein-82b.com/ https://www.xn--onlinefhrerschein-82b.com/. https://www.xn--onlinefhrerschein-82b.com/onze-diensten/. https://www.xn--onlinefhrerschein-82b.com/over-ons/ https://www.xn--onlinefhrerschein-82b.com/contact/ COMPRAR A LICENÇA DO CONDUTOR (ITÁLIA) https://www.documentoregistrato.com/ https://www.documentoregistrato.com/. https://www.documentoregistrato.com/domande-frequenti/ https://www.documentoregistrato.com/riguardo-noi/ https://www.documentoregistrato.com/contattaci/ https://www.documentoregistrato.com/patente-di-guida-registrata/ [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Acquista patente di guida online Portogallo, tedesco e italiano | |
Author: Anonymous[ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 20:07:18 05/11/20 Mon come ottenere la patente di guida online in Portogallo, tedesco e italiano Come ottenere una patente di guida portoghese, tedesca e italiana (dokumenteonline1@gmail.com) in Portogallo Sapevi che puoi ottenere una patente di guida online? Puoi acquistare la patente B, C, D e così via. Contatto: (dokumenteonline1@gmail.com) Questa è una storia che vorrei condividere Ho visto un post su Internet su come acquistare una patente di guida registrata, ho immediatamente iniziato a contattarli per vedere se è vero per la patente di guida. Una volta entrato in contatto con questi ragazzi, hanno risposto immediatamente, dicendo che il prezzo è di 500 euro e hanno bisogno di due foto, un controllo della firma e alcune informazioni personali. Ho anche impostato l'indirizzo di consegna. Non ne ero del tutto sicuro, ma cosa devo fare se ho urgentemente bisogno di questa patente di guida. Ho deciso di correre il rischio di aver urgentemente bisogno di questo documento per il mio lavoro e prima sarebbe stato meglio. Ho pagato 300 sterline come tre giorni dopo, sono stato contattato da Vladislav, dicendo che la mia patente di guida era pronta per l'uso. Il giorno dopo ho ricevuto una chiamata per confermare che non c'era nessun pacchetto per me. A dire il vero, non credo molto in questa storia di acquisto di patenti di guida online. Ho deciso di provarlo. Ho ricevuto il pacco e dentro c'era un libro. Ho aperto il libro e ho visto la mia patente di guida. Era reale! e la patente era come la volevo. Con le informazioni che hai richiesto. Pronto all'uso!!! Sembrava impossibile, ma la vera licenza ha portato al mio nome. Ho mandato il ragazzo a 300 euro invece di 200, perché ero così felice !!!! Ora ho un lavoro tacito con l'aiuto di David e profitto. Quello che ho capito è che devi avere fiducia in te stesso negli altri per avere successo nella vita. Mi sono fidato di me e delle mie azioni, spero che la mia esperienza abbia ispirato molti lettori. Ottengono una patente di guida da un paese terzo e la convertono direttamente nella patente di guida attraverso lo scambio di patente di guida. ACQUISTA LA LICENZA DEL DRIVER (PORTOGALLO) https://www.onlinedocumentos.com https://www.onlinedocumentos.com/ https://www.onlinedocumentos.com/about-us/ https://www.onlinedocumentos.com/comprar-carteira-motorista-portuguesa/ https://www.onlinedocumentos.com/contact-us/ https://www.onlinedocumentos.com/contate-nos/ ACQUISTA LA LICENZA DEL DRIVER (GERMANIA) https://www.xn--onlinefhrerschein-82b.com/ https://www.xn--onlinefhrerschein-82b.com/. https://www.xn--onlinefhrerschein-82b.com/onze-diensten/. https://www.xn--onlinefhrerschein-82b.com/over-ons/ https://www.xn--onlinefhrerschein-82b.com/contact/ ACQUISTA LICENZA DEL DRIVER (ITALIA) https://www.documentoregistrato.com/ https://www.documentoregistrato.com/. https://www.documentoregistrato.com/domande-frequenti/ https://www.documentoregistrato.com/riguardo-noi/ https://www.documentoregistrato.com/contattaci/ https://www.documentoregistrato.com/patente-di-guida-registrata/ [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Führerschein online kaufen Portugal, Deutsch und Italienisch | |
Author: Anonymous[ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 20:06:15 05/11/20 Mon So erhalten Sie Ihren Führerschein online in Portugal, Deutsch und Italienisch So erhalten Sie einen portugiesischen, deutschen und italienischen Führerschein (dokumenteonline1@gmail.com) in Portugal Wussten Sie, dass Sie einen Führerschein online erhalten können? Sie können den Führerschein B, C, D usw. kaufen. Kontakt: (dokumenteonline1@gmail.com) Dies ist eine Geschichte, die ich gerne teilen möchte. Ich habe im Internet einen Beitrag über den Kauf eines registrierten Führerscheins gesehen. Ich habe sofort Kontakt mit ihnen aufgenommen, um zu prüfen, ob dies für den Führerschein gilt. Als ich mich mit diesen Leuten in Verbindung setzte, antworteten sie sofort und sagten, dass der Preis 500 Euro beträgt. Sie benötigen zwei Bilder, einen Unterschriften-Check und einige persönliche Informationen. Ich habe auch die Lieferadresse festgelegt. Ich war mir nicht ganz sicher, aber was soll ich tun, wenn ich diesen Führerschein dringend benötige? Ich beschloss, das Risiko einzugehen, dass ich dieses Dokument dringend für meinen Job brauchte, und je früher es wäre, desto besser. Ich bezahlte 300 Pfund als erste drei Tage später, ich wurde von Vladislav kontaktiert und sagte, dass mein Führerschein einsatzbereit sei. Am nächsten Tag erhielt ich einen Anruf, um zu bestätigen, dass kein Paket für mich vorhanden war. Um ehrlich zu sein, ich glaube nicht viel an diese Geschichte des Online-Kaufs von Führerscheinen. Ich beschloss, es zu versuchen. Ich erhielt das Paket und es war ein Buch darin. Ich schlug das Buch auf und sah meinen Führerschein. Es war echt! und der Führerschein war so, wie ich es wollte. Mit den Informationen, nach denen Sie gefragt haben. Einsatzbereit!!! Es schien unmöglich, aber die echte Lizenz führte zu meinem Namen. Ich habe dem Kerl 300 Euro statt 200 Euro geschickt, weil ich so glücklich war !!!! Jetzt habe ich einen Job mit Hilfe von David und Profit. Was ich verstanden habe ist, dass man Selbstvertrauen in andere haben muss, um im Leben erfolgreich zu sein. Ich habe mir selbst vertraut und meinen Handlungen vertraut. Ich hoffe, meine Erfahrung hat viele Leser inspiriert. Sie erhalten einen Führerschein aus einem Drittland und wandeln ihn durch Austausch des Führerscheins direkt in Ihren Länderführerschein um. FAHRERLIZENZ KAUFEN (PORTUGAL) https://www.onlinedocumentos.com https://www.onlinedocumentos.com/ https://www.onlinedocumentos.com/about-us/ https://www.onlinedocumentos.com/comprar-carteira-motorista-portuguesa/ https://www.onlinedocumentos.com/contact-us/ https://www.onlinedocumentos.com/contate-nos/ FAHRERLIZENZ KAUFEN (DEUTSCHLAND) https://www.xn--onlinefhrerschein-82b.com/ https://www.xn--onlinefhrerschein-82b.com/. https://www.xn--onlinefhrerschein-82b.com/onze-dienste/. https://www.xn--onlinefhrerschein-82b.com/over-ons/ https://www.xn--onlinefhrerschein-82b.com/contact/ KAUFERLIZENZ KAUFEN (ITALIEN) https://www.documentoregistrato.com/ https://www.documentoregistrato.com/. https://www.documentoregistrato.com/domande-frequenti/ https://www.documentoregistrato.com/riguardo-noi/ https://www.documentoregistrato.com/contattaci/ https://www.documentoregistrato.com/patente-di-guida-registrata/ [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Buy Real Passports, Driver’s License, ID Cards, Visas, USA Green Card, Counterfeit Money | |
Author: Anonymous[ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: Buy Passports, Driver’s License, ID Cards,, USA Green Card, Counterfeit Money | |
Author: Anonymous[ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: Get Real Passports, Driver’s License, ID Cards, Visas, USA Green Card, Counterfeit Money | |
Author: Anonymous[ Edit | View ] |
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Avocado is rich in mono-unsaturated fat, fiber, many amino acids and the antioxidants Lutein and Zeaxanthin. It is rich in potassium, Vitamin K, Folate, Vitamin C, Vitamin B5 and B6, Vitamin E. The avocado seed is actually the most nutritious part of the fruit. About the eating of avocado seeds, many are very enthusiastic, while others warn against it, thinking that the seed might be poisenous. It is probably not been studied well enough to give any definite advice, but it might be worth to try it. The eauthor of this article grind the seed and blend it with ground carrot and width some olive oil. BENEFITS REGARDING THE WHOLE BODY Avocado seems reduse the chance of getting cancer. The fruit seems to better the effetc effect of chemotherapy. It also helps to alleviate inflammations, which again will help to get a healthier blood circulation, digestion and joints. AVOCADO GIVES BENEFITS FOR THE SKIN There has been a lot of information about the use of avocado for getting the skin young, healthy and smooth in the recent times, and two ways of using it has especially been mentioned. - One can use avocado oil on the skin or use lotions or creams containing avocado oil. - One can eat ground avocado seeds. The author of this article have have experienced benefits for my skin by eating avocado seeds. First and foremost injuries in the skin grow faster, for example bruices after shaving, and the skin gets shinier and somewhat more robust. You can also grind whole ripe avocado and smear it over all the body. Then let it dry. After some hours take a douche. Then all the superflous is flushed away, and the oily substances that have saturated the skin remain and makes it shiny and smooth. The ripe avocado does not make your skin messy or green, but behaves just like a skin lotion. AVoCADO IS BENEFICIAL FOR THE HEART AND BLOOD CIRCUlATION Avocado can help to lower blood pressure and the cholesterole levels, and help to improve the balance between protein-cholesterole complexes in the blood, the high density lipoprotein HDL and low density lipoprotein LDL. This will lower the chance of getting heart attack, blood clots and stroke. AVOCADO GIVES BETTER DIGESTION Avocado helps to make the digestive organs work better and to give the intestinal content a right consistance, which helps against constipation, hemorrhoids and other kind of digestive disconfort. Also the fat in avocado, helps your digestion to take up fat soluble nutrients from other food types better. AVOCADO CAN HELP TO REDUCE WEIGHT This fruit can help you get slimmer, but in order for this to work you must take some care. Avocado is very rich in fat and thereby calories. When you add avocado to your diet, you must reduce other type of calory intake, either the intake of fat from other sources, or suger and other carbohydrates. However, eating avocado also makes you more satisfied, so that it will be easier to eat less. THE FRUIT IS VERY BENEFICIAL FOR THE EYES Inflammatory rections in the eyes will be reduced if you eat avocado on a long term basis. The fruit also hinders development of macular degeneration and cataract. AVOADO CAN BENEFIT THE JOINt, MUSCLES AND BONES The anti-inflammatory effects of the fruit is almost sure to help against chronic rheumatic diseases. What has been especially studied is a blending of unsaponifable components of avocado and soya been oil, which have good effect against ostearthritis. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Knut Holt is an internet consultant and marketer focusing on health items. 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These will typically contain botanic oils of various kind to make the skin smooth, to act as a carrier of other working ingredients and to give the cream the right consistency. Some of these oils are also assumed to stimulate skin repair. Most of them also contain vitamins, like vitamin A, vitamin E and Vitamin B3 (Niacin). They typically also contain different types of peptides, substances whose molecules are combinations of two or a few amino acids. The aim of these substances is to stimulate the fibroblasts to make more fibers which then is used to build up a firmer skin structure. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Knut Holt is an Internet marketer and author with a focus on health items and science. Please see his web-site to find more skin care information. There are also presentation of products to improve skin health and enhance fitness. http://www.panteraconsulting.com/salg5.htm -------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- Substances and Herbs Used to Reduce the Appetite By Knut Holt http://www.abicana.com/how_to_get_slim.htm http://www.mydeltapi.com/erotic-products.htm Substances to reduce appetite have been used since the First World War. Soldiers used the stimulating substance amphetamine both to stimulate their fighting capacity and to reduce hunger. The same was done in the Second World War. After the last war, the civil market began to use amphetamine and related substances to help reduce the intake of food during weight loss efforts. A. APPETITE SUPPRESSORS OF THE AMPHETAMINE GROUP Amphetamine and related substances stimulate the alertness of the central nervous system and the impulse to external action. When zones of the brain dealing with external action are in high activity, signals are sent to zones controlling appetite, digestion and connected functions to reduce their activity. Thus central stimulating substances also reduce appetite. Since these drugs increase the bodily activity, they also help to reduce weight by inducing a higher rate of fat burning. Some drugs of this group are also used as antidepressant, for example fluoxetine hudrochloride (Prozac). Being central stimulants all these appetite suppressors also bear a certain risk of developing addiction, and of side effects like insomnia, agitation, manic reactions, hypertension, stroke, heart valve damage and heart rhythm disturbances. Because of such dangerous effects, many of these substances have been banned from most markets as appetite suppressants, for example amphetamine itself, aminorex, fenfluramine, phenylpropanolamine and ephedrine. However, many of these substances are still used for other purposes, for example to stimulate heart activity and to regulate up a too low blood pressure. Substances of this group available on the market today as appetite suppresants are: Phentermine, diethylpropion, phenidmetrazine, benzphetamine, sibutramine, rimonabant, oxyntomodulin and fluoxetine hydrochloride (Prozac). PHENTERMINE Phentermine is perhaps the most widely used appetite suppressant drug today. It works by increasing the release of the hormones / neurotransmitters norepinephrine, serotonine and dopamine, The signals from these substances make the nervous system more alert for external action and reduce appetite. EPHEDRA AND EPHEDRINE Ephedrine is a central stimulant extracted from species of the plant genus Ephedra. The substance is banned in most communities as a appetite suppressor nowadays, but are used for other medical purposes, for example to stimulate heart activity and increase blood pressure. In some communities Ephedra as a herb is still used as a part of stimulating herbal preparations. SIBUTRAMINE Sibutramine works by reducing the reuptake of the hormones / neurotransmitters serotonin, norepinefrine and dopamine and thus increases the effects from these substances, with increased alertness and reduced appetite as a result. RIMONABANT This is a new drug working by blocking signals receptors that increase appetite upon signals from neurotransmitters / hormones. These are the same receptors that react upon contact with substances in the narcotic herb Cannabis. The main action of this drug is appetite reduction. In addition to appetite reduction it also seems to help smoking cessation for certain smokers. Severe depression may be a side effect of this drug. B. MODERN HERBAL APPETITE REDUCERS Because of the potential side effects of appetite suppressors from the amphetamine group, people often turn to herbal appetite reducers with a very long history of use in their country of origin without having shown the same side effects. The herbal appetite suppressors Hoodia Gordonii and pinnothin are two such herbal appetite suppressors of increasing popularity. Preparations containing these herbs generally also contain herbs that increase the burning of fat, or herbs that reduce the uptake of fat or sugar from the intestines. HOODIA GORDONII This is a cactus-like plant native in the African dessert Kalahari. The San tribe living in this region has used the herb in centuries to suppress hungers during long hunting expeditions. In the long traditional use, the herb has shown to suppress hunger without side effects. The plant contains substances whose molecules resemble glucose molecules. When there is enough glucose in the blood, the brain interprets it as a signal to reduce the hunger. The substances of the Hoodia Gordonii give the same signal to the brain, and thus reduce the appetite. PINNOTHIN This chemical complex is found on the Korean Pine Nut tree Pinus Koreanensis, and the working substance of Pinnothin is pinnoleic acid, an unsaturated fatty acid with 18 carbon atoms, three double bounds and with the first bound on the fifth carbon atom (omega-5 poly-unsaturated fatty acid). Pinnoleic acid reduces the appetite by inducing production of a larger amount of the appetite regulating signal substance cholecystokinin (CCK), which then is released into the blood circulation. CCK in the blood is interpreted by the brain as a command to reduce the feeling of hunger. Another ways CCK works, is by delaying the emptying of the stomach content into the intestines, and by giving signal to the gall bladder to empty its content with digestive enzymes into the small intestine. The stomach will therefore lack room for new food a longer time each day, and this reduces the urge to eat. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Knut Holt is an internet consultant and marketer focusing on health items. For more information about slimming, fitness, health and other areas, and interesting products within the fields health, hobby, automotive and apparel, please see his website. http://www.abicana.com ----Free to reprint with the author's name and link. http://www.eioba.com/a/4moz/substances-and-herbs-used-to-reduce-the-appetite ---------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------- Advice for Good Anal Sex and Masturbation By Knut Holt Health, fitness and sex tips: http://www.abicana.com/health_information.htm The area between your buttock cheeks, the immediate surroundings of your anus, the anus itself and your rectum is highly sensual to erotic stimulation. It some way this area is even more sensual than the genitals, because even slight caresses at this area can give strong feelings. The skin and muscles at both sides of the rectal opening is highly sensitive. The point just in front of the anus gives a strong emotional response when you poke at it. A man will often have a little grove at that point that you can poke into. The anus itself has the most sensitive skin in your whole body, and the sphincter muscle gives a lot of good feeling when stretched out. Before the front wall some way inside the anus, a man will also have the prostate. The deepest point of the anus is sensitive in a very special way. Stimulation here gives very strong feelings that reach the whole pelvic region coupled with profound mental emotions. You seldom get any orgasm from this area, even though it does sometimes happens, but you are very likely feel a strong and persistent physical and mental excitement upon proper stimulation, and such stimulation will also intensify a genital orgasm. Here are some general principles you should follow both when you have anal sex with a partner or when you use this area for masturbation: - You must firstly be in a position where your rectal area is easy to get to. Then you must relax as much as possible. Then open the area even more by pulling the buttock cheeks apart so that you feel a slight stretch. Begin caressing gently the inner sides of the cheeks and gradually caress steadily nearer to the rear opening. - It is not necessary to enter through the anus to make a lot of pleasure. If you do it, you proceed in a gentle manner through the opening and towards the deep parts of the rectum. For a joyful rectal intrusion, the rectal spinster must relax well. By pressing cautiously with a finger or a rounded object towards the anal orifice, the spinster will usually relax and the object goes easily through. - You will discover that the rectum has several strongly sensible points along the way to the deepest area. By caressing inside the anus towards the prostate area or the vagina, you will also stimulate feelings in the genital region. While you steadily proceed towards the most intimate and deepest areas, you also move a little in and out, use circulating movements and poke at special sensible points. - After having teased up your feeling with gentle stimulation and caresses, you can gradually stimulate harder to influence points deeper inside the tissues. You can also tense your muscles in the anal area, first gently and then more intensely. Such an intensified action will typically give you a peak feeling that can resemble an orgasm, but the feeling has another flavor with stronger mental impacts than genital orgasms. - After such an intensified action you can begin anew with a relaxed and gentle approach. You can do this many times, and each time your feelings will get stronger and spread to wider areas in your body from your rear region. There are many ways to caress and stimulate your anorectal region. You can caress yourself or your partner with a finger, you can use a dildo or another smooth long object with a rounded tip. And you can have intercourse using the penis between the cheeks of your partner or insert the penis into the anus. If you use an object inside the rectum, it must not have a shape and size so that it cannot easily get trapped inside and difficult to get out again. Some special anal dildos have barres that hinder a too deep insertion or a long handle that always will be outside. It is not necessary to use a very thick object in the anus to get strong feelings. This region is so sensible that even a very thin object gives great responses. A thicker objects will however stretch the muscles more and give a deeper stimulation inside the tissues so that you can experience other feelings than when you use a thin object. The object you use or the rectal opening must be well lubricated, preferably with a water based lubricator. You can also lubricate dildos and the like with natural oily substances that do not irritate, like vazeline. When you have sex in the anorectal region, you should be clean. If you want to insert something through the rectum, the anus should be empty. It is not strictly necessary to flush the anus with water before you have anal sex, but some people prefer to do so by a enema syringe. You must use a condom if you or your partner use to have sex with more than only one person or you are not sure you can trust your partner one hundred percent. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Knut Holt is an Internet marketer and author with a focus on health items and eroticism. Please see his web-site to find more health and sex information. There are also presentation of products to enhance sexual satisfaction and to improve health. http://www.abicana.com/health_information.htm Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Knut_Holt [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: Immanuel A Daily Guide To Reclaiming The True Meaning Of Christmas | |
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| Subject: Helminths And Antihelminthic Resistance Of Small Ruminants In Ethiopia: Anthelminthic Resistance | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 04:06:22 03/20/14 Thu Helminths And Antihelminthic Resistance Of Small Ruminants In Ethiopia: Anthelminthic Resistance Ethics, Leadership, and the Bottom Line: An Executive Reader Workbook for an Introduction to Art Sing to the Lord: Large Print - Words Only Hymnal Spectrum 16: The Best in Contemporary Fantastic Art (Spectrum: The Best in Contemporary Fantastic Art) Measures of comets and of planet 1924 TD (Baade) (Lick Observatory bulletin) Crime Through Time #5: Iced!: The 2007 Journal of Nick Fitzmorgan The Four Agreements and the Four Agreements Companion Book A Seeker's Journey and Initiation into Wicca The Tops Discovery Kit Inner City Miracle God's Plans for You ABC's of Gourmet Herbal Bath & Body Plus: Family Guide to Natural Bath & Body Care Do You Know the Florida Gators?: A hard-hitting quiz for tailgaters, referee-haters, armchair quarterbacks, and anyone who'd kill for their team The Middle East: Ten Years After Camp David Bereavement and Support: Healing in a Group Environment (Series in Death, Dying, and Bereavement) Annotated Leading Cases of International Criminal Tribunals - Volume 23: The International Criminal Court 2005-2007 America at Odds Development as Freedom The World's Heritage: A Guide to All 981 UNESCO World Heritage Sites World in Focus: North America Teacher's Guide (World in Focus (Pb)) Never Coming Back: A Novel The Eastern Front Day by Day, 1941-45: A Photographic Chronology Mark Twain: A Writer's Life (Milton Meltzer Biographies) Lucifer's Hope the Guv The Traitor's Daughter (Signet Regency Romance) Victimology The Healing Circle 1000 Microwave Recipe Cook Book Cordina's Royal Family: Gabriella & Alexander: Affaire RoyaleCommand Performance Queer Cities, Queer Cultures: Europe since 1945 2002 Seasons of the Witch King's Lynn, Downham Market and Swaffham (Explorer Maps) 236 (OS Explorer Map) Are We There Yet?: The Golden Age of American Family Vacations (Culture America) Workshop on Prescriptive Medicine and Human Performance Simeon Les Artistes Du Livre (French Edition) Don't Count on Homecoming Queen (Raise the Flag) Salt Lake City/Denver Top Restaurants (Zagat Survey: Salt Lake City/Rocky Mountain) Severe d'Antioche.. La polemique antijulianiste, II.. A.. Syr.. 124.. (Corpus Scriptorum Christianorum Orientalium) Endlessly (Paranormalcy) Japanese archery;: Zen in action Florida Marlins 2012 Calendar Beginner's Guide: Oil: Book 1: Learn the basics of oil painting (How to Draw & Paint/Art Instruction Program) Papua New Guinea Birds Compass American Guides: Yosemite & Sequoia/Kings Canyon National Parks (Full-color Travel Guide) Regulierung der europ Fearless Critic Houston Restaurant Guide 2010 100 Questions Every First-Time Home Buyer Should Ask: With Answers from Top Brokers from Around the Country Essentials of Economics Amarakocha, ou, Vocabulaire d'Amarasinha (French Edition) Patrick Henry (American Statesmen) Elmer's Day (English-Italian) (Elmer series) The Witch's Guide to Cooking with Children Only Six More Days (Picture Puffin) Ethical Leadership: Creating and Sustaining an Ethical Business Culture I Am I Between Worlds and Between Shadows Shoestring Venture: The Startup Bible Too Short a Blessing (Harlequin Presents 1023) Perspectives in Control Theory: Proceedings of the Sielpia Conference, Sielpia, Poland, 1998 (Progress in Systems and Control Theory) Skip to My Lou. 3b6922ccc4 [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Praxisbeispiele Bauphysik: We - Feuchte - Schall - Brand Aufgaben Mit Lsungen (German Edition) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: Good products and good advices for success in sex and health | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 06:43:56 02/28/14 Fri PRODUCTS AND ADViCES TO IMPROVE SEXUAL LIFE and promote sexual ecstasy Please go here to find sex toys and products to enhance potency and pleasure for men and women http://www.abicana.com/erotic_toys.htm Tools and toys for pleasant erotic massage and to play with your genital organs and all other sensual body parts. Exciting things to put in through your seintimate openings to make good feelings. Also pills and creams for women to enhance pleasure, intensify orgasms and to make stronger female functions. Perfumes to arouse and attract women and men. Pills, topicals and devices for penis and breast enhancement. Pills and creams to make bigger and better erections, increase pleasure and intensify orgasms. Remedies to prevent premature ejaculations. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Please go here to learn about herbs with sexual effects - also herbal aphrodisiacs: http://www.abicana.com/sexual_herbs.htm Many common spices and vegetables as well as meny more exotic herbs have strong boosting effects on the sexual lust and ability, or can help solve sexual problems, especially if used in combination. 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You will also find advices for training, to keep yourself young, to get muscular strength and to get good condition. You can also read advices for excining sex activities, including rectal and genital masturbation. http://www.abicana.com/health_information.htm --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Help for all types of skin problems and cosmetics Acne, eczema, rosacea,wrinkles, pspriais, stretchmarks, vitiligo, warts and more. Also comsetics from all the world's good producents for reduced prizes. http://www.panteraconsulting.com/salg5.htm ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------- HOBBY PRODUCTS AND TECHNICAL PRODUCTS RC Models of Cars, Helicopters, Boats, Airplanes, Drones All types of hobby items, included: Remote controle models of cars, helicopters, airplanes,boates. Chemistry kits, science kits, electronics sets, airsoft guns, building sets and a lot more http://www.mydeltapi.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Airsoft and Paintball Guns and Tanks AEG electric, spring and gas driven airsoft and paintball guns and Tanks. Airsoft replicas of real famous guns, modern and historical. http://www.mydeltapi.com/guns.htm ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Car and Vehicle Equipment and Spare Parts Parts for motor, transmission, suspension, breaks, stearing, body, lights, exhaust, fluel lines, cabin, styling, performance, security and more. Also garage tools. http://www.panteraconsulting.com/shop10.htm --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ SOME USEFUL INFORMATION Flying Rod or Skyfish - Still Another UFO Phenomenon In the recent decennium there have been steadily more frequent observations of rod-like flying objects with several pairs of fins along the rod. They can be small or great and can be observed at any place outdoor and indoor. Because of a high velocity, they are most often discovered unexpectedly on footage images after the filming. ------------------------------------------------------------------ A skyfish is an alleged rod-like flying object which can fly by moving fins or wings attached to the sides in the same way that a fish swims in the water. There can be 3 or more fins along each side of the rod, or the fins can be continuous like the fins of a manta. The movement of the fins is synchronized in such a way that there appears to be waves moving along each side from the front to the end. They can be variously sized from a couple of inches to 30 feet of length. One has detected these objects flying high and low, outdoor and indoor and even swimming submerged in water by means of the fins. They are usually white or of light color and seem to reflect light very well or even radiate a white light. They fly so fast, 150 to 1000 MPH, that it is nearly impossible to get a good view of them without filming them with a camera and then scan the footage frame by frame. Photographers that were filming other activities were the first persons being aware of the existence of flying rods when they were looking at the footages in slow motion. The objects are capable of maneuvering between other objects or human beings in this fast speed without colliding. They seem to be attracted by unusual human activities taking place, such as parachute jumping, warfare activities or unusual gatherings of people. Nobody has been able to catch any of these objects and preserve them as such. There are anecdotes that such objects have been caught and then have dissolved, and in some cases objects believed to be skyfishes have been caught and proven to be fast flying insects that appear to be multi-winged rods when observed flying. By now there exists a heavy corpus of photographic documentation about this phenomenon and one can easily find pictures of the phenomenon by searching on Internet with the key-words "flying rod" or "skyfish". POSSIBLE EXPLANATIONS FOR THE PHENOMENON This phenomenon has probably different explanations in different cases. Many of the observations are probably insects or birds flying in a very high velocity and appear to be multi-winged rods when caught on film due to a specific technical mechanism: When a digital camera takes a picture, the photographic plate of the camera is scanned electronically line by line. If the animal fly fast enough fairly near the camera, it will appear at several successive points on the plate before one scanning cycle is done, and therefore be registered several times, which will produce a rod-like appearance furnished with a multiple of wing pairs. Some may be a kind of living organisms not known before recently or even a newly developed species. If so, they can be a kind of arthropods with wings on several of the segments. Others may be groups of insects, birds or bats flying in succession and in a synchronic way that make them able to reach abnormal speeds without much resistance. Some may be individuals originating from a known insect species with mutations giving them an increased number of wings, and some can be siamese insect twins grown together like a rod. Perhaps such kind of mutations or development anomalies are rather common. Still others can be secret surveillance drones, especially those that are too big to be insects or birds. The drones may have highly effective batteries as the energy source, or perhaps use some small nuclear device that makes electric power directly from energy released by nuclear processes, for example from alfa-decay within a nuclear fuel core. The drones are made to fly very fast to cover a great area and to avoid detection. Such a drone may be constructed as a rod with several appendages for propulsion and steering, or they may appear as multi-winged constructions on a footage just like a fast-flying insect or bird. A more exotic explanation is that they are drones made by alien beings and sent out on mission from UFOs of extraterrestrial origin. One shall not dismiss such an explanation at hand, but this explanation must be regarded as improbable before the more earthly explanations are disproved. Another exotic explanation might be that they are coming from a parallel level in another physical dimension than the three dimensions we usually recognize and perhaps are able to jump between such levels. Entities coming from another dimensional level might be living organisms or drones operated by some technically advanced beings. If the other-dimensional explanation is correct their physics and chemistry can then be very alien, or at least differ somewhat from the normal stuff we can see around us. A capability of jumping between dimensional levels and a foreign physics can explain their ghost-like behavior. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Knut Holt is an internet based consultant and marketer focusing on technical and scientific items. He is also interested in health and fitness and in the investigation of strange phenomena. Please go to this web-site to read more about several scientific subjects, and to find smart products in the categories RC models and hobby, electronics, car equipment, health, fitness and jewelry. http://www.panteraconsulting.com [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
Subject:  Brand name PAIN MEDICAMENTS online (Paypal accepted)? | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: Party Entertainers (NC10051) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 15:15:16 11/11/12 Sun Childrens entertainer; wedding magician, children party magician and entertainer in Birmingham. Great childrens entertainment plus Close-up magic. (http://www.andysmagic.co.uk) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Party Entertainers (NC10041) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 09:59:03 11/11/12 Sun Childrens entertainer; wedding magician, children party magician and entertainer in Birmingham. Great childrens entertainment plus Close-up magic. (http://www.andysmagic.co.uk) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: NUSH ONLINE (NC10044) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: NUSH ONLINE (NC11716) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: Assignment 1: NUSH ONLINE (NC10408) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: NUSH ONLINE (NC10046) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: NUSH ONLINE (NC10051) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: NUSH ONLINE (NC10041) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: NEXT Garments (NC10041) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 12:35:21 10/27/12 Sat Clothing and accessories for men, women and children in the official NEXT garments online shop the largest NEXT collection in the world! (http://www.next.co.uk) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Buy and sel vehicles (NC10408) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 06:42:26 10/23/12 Tue Buy and sell your used cars, bike, trucks, evry type pf vehicle in UK with Good price. (http://www.autotrader.co.uk/) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: How to get pain medications without a prescription online? | |
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| Subject: Buy Wholesale clothing (NC10044) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: Buy and sell vehicles (NC10051) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: Buy and sell vehicles (NC10041) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: Pain medicaments without a prescription online! | |
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Subject:  Bridal registry stores | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
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Subject:  Dissertation Writing Service UK Best for Dissertation Writing Help | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
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| Subject: Housecleaning tip~tiggerrrt | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 01:11:00 08/08/11 Mon I love housekeeping tips and Maxine (the cartoon character) has wonderful tips. I esp. like this one and plan to make a trip to the dollar tree today to do this one....anyone else have tips to share? Good Housekeeping Tip Another Maxine Tip... Always keep several get well cards on the mantel..... so if unexpected guests arrive, they will think you've been sick and unable to clean. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] Replies:
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| Subject: cute joke...~tiggerrrt | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 01:09:55 08/08/11 Mon A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them. Generally the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure, they just continued to watch her. After a couple of weeks the wife said, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?" He hadn't - and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big Radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing." Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up &down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road. Well, Is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly. No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have. Well, what is it then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked. The man grinned and said, "She's a battery salesperson." "Batteries?" cried the wife. "Yes ....." he replied - OOOH - Now this is going to kill you OOOOH - You're gonna hate me for this - but it will make your day!!! she sells C cells by the sea shore [ Post a Reply to This Message ] Replies:
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| Subject: WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 01:08:07 08/08/11 Mon Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, everyone else in the class laughed. My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders". Guess where I am now... [ Post a Reply to This Message ] Replies:
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| Subject: Law of Garbage truck~tiggerrrt | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 00:31:43 08/08/11 Mon The Law of the Garbage Truck I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches ! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck." He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so..... "Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't." [ Post a Reply to This Message ] Replies:
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| Subject: Brand new edition of... 'You know you're a redneck when...... | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 00:31:04 08/08/11 Mon 1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter. 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 4. You burn your yard rather than mow it. 5. Salvation Army declines your furniture. 7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it. 8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial. 9. You come back from the dump with more than you took. 10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. 11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. 12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list. 13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower. 14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. 15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program. 16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold. 17. You have a rag for a gas cap. 18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does. 19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean. 20. You can spit without opening your mouth. 21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it. 22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. 23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side. 24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart. 25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV. 26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table. 27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements. 28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back . 29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty. 30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] Replies:
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| Subject: Not so Dumb Blonde Joke!!! | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 00:29:49 08/08/11 Mon AN IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice. She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude'. With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, 'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!' As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...'YES! YES! I WON, I WON!' She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?' The other answered, 'I don't know - I thought you were watching.' MORAL OF THE STORY - Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, but all men...are men. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] Replies:
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Subject:  Sex after death | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 21:19:44 08/07/11 Sun A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact: "Judy..........Judy" "Is that you, George?" "Yes, I've come back like we agreed." "That's wonderful! What's it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again" "Oh, George...are you in Heaven?" "No...........I'm a rabbit in Kansas [ Post a Reply to This Message ] Replies:
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| Subject: redneck joke .......4x4 momma | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 18:47:57 08/07/11 Sun A couple of rednecks are out in the woods hunting when one of them suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing. His eyes are rolled back in his head. The other redneck whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "I think Bubba is dead! What should I do?" The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he is dead." There is a silence...followed by a gun shot. The redneck's voice comes back on the line, "Okay, now what?" [ Post a Reply to This Message ] Replies:
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| Subject: The Elderly Irish Virgin | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 18:44:40 08/07/11 Sun In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin, and very proud of it. Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went to the town's undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to make proper "final" arrangements. As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her tombstone: "BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN" Not long after, the old maid died peacefully. A few days after the funeral, as the undertaker/postal clerk went to prepare the tombstone that the lady had requested, it became quite apparent that the tombstone she had selected was much too small for the wording that she had chosen. He thought long and hard about how he could fulfill the old maid's final request considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone. For days, he agonized over the dilemma, but finally his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem. The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it read as follows: "RETURNED UNOPENED" [ Post a Reply to This Message ] Replies:
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| Subject: Funny stuff ~Sugar Cookie | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 18:42:52 08/07/11 Sun After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too' And then the fight started..... *********************************************************************** My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked,' Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started..... *********************************************************************** I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And then the fight started..... [ Post a Reply to This Message ] Replies:
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| Subject: Girlie wisdom~tiggerrrt | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 18:40:49 08/07/11 Sun Girlie Wisdom! Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knicker's. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes! Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat! The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] Replies:
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| Subject: The Old Man | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 18:24:06 08/07/11 Sun An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave!' The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.' Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.' Some old men can still think fast. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] Replies:
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| Subject: The Lecture! | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 18:22:29 08/07/11 Sun An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a. m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body. The officer then asks, Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night? The man replies, My wife. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] Replies:
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| Subject: At The Bar | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 18:20:17 08/07/11 Sun *AT the Bar:* * ...I ended up with an older woman * *at a nightclub last night. She looked * *pretty good for a 60+ year-old. In fact, * *she wasn't too bad at all ...and I found * *myself thinking that she probably had * *a really REALLY hot daughter. * * We drank a bit, and we had a bit of a * *snuggle, and then she asked if I ever had * *a 'Sportsman's Double?'.* * "What's that?" I asked. "It's a mother-daughter-guy threesome," * *she said with a coy and seductive smile.* * "Oh." I said as my mind began to actively * *embrace the idea, "....No, I sure haven't!!" ...And now I really wondered what this * *hot daughter of hers might look like!! * * We drank a bit more, then she says with * *a wink that tonight was 'my lucky night'. I went back to her place. We walked in. ** The she turned on the hall light ...and * *shouted upstairs: ** ** ....."Mom!! Are you still awake?"* [ Post a Reply to This Message ] Replies:
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Subject:  Avail No.1 Dissertation Help and Get A+ Grade | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 02:47:23 07/22/11 Fri Are you worried about your dissertation writing process? Is your deadline fast approaching? Do not worry. Our dissertation help could eliminate all your worries within Minutes. Our dissertation writing experts are ready to help you. We offer a wide range of dissertation writing services at cheap prices with 100% none plagiarized work Guaranteed. For detail visit us for Dissertation Help Remember!!! You Will Receive Following Powerful & Priceless Bonus-Packs Absolutely FREE When You Buy Dissertation from Us
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| Subject: Miss Maryland 2011 Allyn Rose | |||
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 22:14:03 04/29/11 Fri Miss Maryland 2011 Allyn Rose Photos!
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| Subject: Amazing New BambooPink Opportunity | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 20:50:05 03/10/11 Thu Bamboo Pink by JudeFrances is a NEW Jewelry company launching in April. They are doing a very innovative campaign to market the company prior to launching. The company has not gone public but will soon. You can sign up for FREE until March. The information to sign up asks your name, address, email, telephone number... nothing else... nothing private...No SSN, Credit Card, etc. Check it out at: https://www.bamboopink.net/dhatch #5625 Go to https://www.bamboopink.net/dhatch to register and then send your link out to all your friends. Bamboopink is where you'll find a remarkable brand of fabulous jewelry, innovative technology, superior customer service, outstanding training, and a generous compensation plan. Our mission is guided by the experience of three top entrepreneurs and their single-minded desire: to provide you with a well-defined pathway toward self-reliance and greater personal wealth. The experienced design work of the master craftswoman who executed Bamboopink can be seen in each unique piece. Bamboopink is Strength. Bamboopink is Integrity. Bamboopink is Creativity. Inspired by the incredible sustainability, prosperity and longevity of the bamboo plant, along with feminine softness and love that the color pink represents; Bamboopink is a company that will empower women to fashion their own path to success. The Company is in pre-launch and would love to have you! At sign up, go to https://www.bamboopink.net/dhatch and let all your friends know...maybe they will be interested as well. Why not share another great opportunity and if it doesn't work out, it was FREE!! Jude Frances created Bamboo Pink for those of us who are not able to afford $30,000 for jewelry. Each piece from Bamboo Pink is $100 or less. * Kristen Chenoweth and Oprah are fans of Jude Frances. * As a representative of Bamboo Pink, you will be provided with the tools and encouragement to succeed. * Join this movement, NOW! There is nothing to lose... Sign up today: http://www.bamboopink.net/dhatch #5625 [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljY6ygVniCU | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 13:54:35 01/31/11 Mon ???! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] Replies:
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| Subject: Are you prestigious? America's Prestigious Miss www.APMiss.com National finals May 7th & 8th 2011 | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 19:29:47 09/14/10 Tue [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: NEW WORD DEFINITIONS | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 13:59:31 06/11/10 Fri ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out. EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage. INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn. SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time. SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off. TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction . TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed. and last but not least..... WRINKLES: Something other people have, similar to my character lines [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: LAST WEEK TO GET YOUR DEPOSITS IN FOR THIS AWESOME SHOOT | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 12:24:12 04/25/10 Sun ;  ::Click banner to Email Kim to reserve your shoot:: ; Banner Created By: Ultimate Banners [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: At Last !! | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 16:20:23 04/15/10 Thu "And thus, dear students, we have arrived at the formula for understanding women".  [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Pearls Of Paradise Regionals | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 20:23:23 04/13/10 Tue 
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| Subject: Must See Lots of nice adult templatesx | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 12:16:08 03/25/10 Thu COOL this is really a great website that offers lots of great adultsite templates http://www.adultwebsitetemplates.com [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: oLook of very nice templates 4 adult sites | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 12:11:25 03/25/10 Thu COOL look i was really looking to find something like adultwebsitetemplates then i fouund this check it out http://www.adultwebsitetemplates.com [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Download adult website templates now | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 07:32:49 03/21/10 Sun i have found this very nice site that offers great free designs to start a adult site online http://www.adultwebsitetemplates.com [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: The awesome power of a wife's love | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 12:44:44 02/26/10 Fri A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death's doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven. There, spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife. "Stay out of those," she said. "They're for the funeral. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: political correctness | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 15:34:27 01/04/10 Mon Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS . And furthermore HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. she is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a'BREASTED AMERICAN. ' 2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.' 3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY..' 4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.' 5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.' 6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.' HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY..' 2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.' 3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.' 4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.' 5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.' (Loved this one!) 6. Its not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.' [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Advertise at COJ Network (COJ216482) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 01:17:32 12/23/09 Wed Westfield is your source for fashion shopping and beauty. What�s What provides the latest fashion news, advice on clothing, shoes and accessories, personal stylist bookings and current information on fashion offerings from Westfield stores. (http://www.cyberonlinejobs.com/fash) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Embroidery (COJ217536) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 10:56:58 12/22/09 Tue Embroidered badges, polo shirts, t-shirts, workwear, corporate apparel, caps, jackets and much more...... (http://www.cyberonlinejobs.com/emb) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Westfield Fashion (COJ217462) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 05:40:22 12/22/09 Tue Westfield is your source for fashion shopping and beauty. WhatпїЅs What provides the latest fashion news, advice on clothing, shoes and accessories, personal stylist bookings and current information on fashion offerings from Westfield stores. (http://www.cyberonlinejobs.com/fash) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Embroidery (COJ217451) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 08:44:05 12/15/09 Tue Embroidered badges, polo shirts, t-shirts, workwear, corporate apparel, caps, jackets and much more...... (http://www.cyberonlinejobs.com/emb) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Westfield Fashion (COJ217126) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 08:38:55 12/12/09 Sat Westfield is your source for fashion shopping and beauty. What???s What provides the latest fashion news, advice on clothing, shoes and accessories, personal stylist bookings and current information on fashion offerings from Westfield stores. (http://www.cyberonlinejobs.com/fash) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Embroidery (COJ217033) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 06:04:42 12/07/09 Mon Embroidered badges, polo shirts, t-shirts, workwear, corporate apparel, caps, jackets and much more...... (http://www.cyberonlinejobs.com/emb) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: At The Mall ..... | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 12:48:01 11/19/09 Thu Took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 84). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked: 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?' Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response: 'Got stoned once and screwed a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Marketing Magazine (COJ216690) | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 17:37:16 11/18/09 Wed Marketing news, blogs, case studies, pod casts, forums and marketing careers and jobs. (http://www.cyberonlinejobs.com/mm) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Bollywood Girls | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 08:27:35 11/14/09 Sat Bollywood Actress, Indian Actress, Photos, Images, Wallpapers, and much more with daily updates http://indianfilmactresswallpapers.blogspot.com [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: How to Dance in the Rain | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 16:49:48 10/09/09 Fri It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset i f he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.' I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arms, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.' True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This is one of those. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did. 'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.' [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Divorced Barbie | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11:36:50 09/23/09 Wed A father leaves the office and on his way home, he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He goes to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, "How much for one of those Barbie dolls in the display window?" The salesperson asks, "Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95". The amazed father asks: "It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?" The salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: "Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls." [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: .. | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 15:25:28 09/21/09 Mon *Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons Life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever Written." My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the Column once more: 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your Friends and parents will. Stay in touch. 5. Pay off your credit cards every month. 6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. 7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone. 8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. 9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck. 10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. 11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. 12. It's OK to let your children see you cry. 13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what Their journey is all about. 14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be In it. 15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't Worry; God never blinks. 16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind. 17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful. 18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger. 19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the Second one is up to you and no one else. 20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, Don't take no for an answer. 21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy Lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is Special. 22. Over prepare, then go with the flow. 23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple. 24. The most important sex organ is the brain. 25.. No one is in charge of your happiness but you. 26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five Years, will this matter?' 27. Always choose life. 28. Forgive everyone everything. 29. What other people think of you is none of your business. 30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time. 31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. 32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 33. Believe in miracles. 34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of Anything you did or didn't do. 35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now. 36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young. 37. Your children get only one childhood. 38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. 39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere. 40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back. 41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. 42. The best is yet to come. 43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. 44. Yield. 45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift." [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: delicious food | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 07:20:48 09/06/09 Sun >I have a number of delicious recipes of food from all >over the world. More recipes are added once or twice, >every week. >Easy to make food, recipe of a 10 minute quick meal, >and much more. Do check out the site at: //delicious-foodrecipes.blogspot.com [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: WHY DO WE LOVE CHILDREN ?????????? | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 12:18:15 09/01/09 Tue 1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!' 2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents ' 3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.' 4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?' 5) POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?' 6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?' 7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!' 8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.' 9) DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!) 10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!' 11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!' NOW IF THIS DIDN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY, GO BACK TO BED AND FORGET IT [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: airlines | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 06:54:45 08/26/09 Wed http://ikairlines.blogspot.com/ This site basically indicates and gives information about the world wide airlines and there history of jet planes please do visit this web site its really intresting. Thanks, [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Adam & God | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11:24:00 08/24/09 Mon Adam & God God said, 'Adam, I Want you to do Something for Me.' Adam said, 'Gladly, Lord, what do You Want me to do?' God said, 'Go down Into that valley.' Adam said, 'What's a Valley?' God explained it to Him. Then God said, 'Cross the river.' Adam said, 'What's a River?' God explained that To him, and then said, 'Go over to the hill....' Adam said, 'What is a Hill?' So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, 'On The other side of the Hill you will find a Cave.' Adam said, 'What's a Cave?' After God explained, He said, 'In the cave You will find a woman..' Adam said, 'What's a Woman?' So God explained That to him, too. Then, God said, 'I Want you to Reproduce.' Adam said, 'How do I do that?' God first said (under His breath), 'Geez.....' And then, just like Everything else, God Explained that to Adam, as well. So, Adam goes down Into the valley, Across the river, and Over the hill, into the Cave, and finds the Woman. Then, in about five Minutes, he was back. God, His patience Wearing thin, said Angrily, 'What is it Now?' And Adam said.... * * (YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS!!!!!!) * * * * * 'What's a headache?' [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: ***LUXURY CARS*** | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14:45:06 07/29/09 Wed THAT IS WEB ABOUT LUXURY CAR AND CARS,,,,,,, Luxury sports cars rental Ferrari 360 Modena and Spider for weddings in Italy..... u visite myweb and comments me..... http://hgluxurycars.blogspot.com/ [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: LUXURY CARS | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 17:25:42 07/26/09 Sun THAT IS WEB ABOUT LUXURY CAR AND CARS,,,,,,, Luxury sports cars rental Ferrari 360 Modena and Spider for weddings in Italy..... u visite myweb and comments me..... http://hgluxurycars.blogspot.com/ [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
Subject:  LIFE IN THE 1500'S ~ Sugar Cookie | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 09:40:08 07/15/09 Wed The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the1500s: Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water..The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water. Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.. Hence the saying. It's raining cats and dogs. There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence. The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a thresh hold. (Getting quite an education, aren't you?) In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old. Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat. Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust. Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake. England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a ...dead ringer. And that's the truth. Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! ! Educate someone. Share these facts with a friend. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: CAUTION!! They Walk Among Us!!! ~ Sugar Cookie | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 22:27:49 07/09/09 Thu Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next day someone stole it! ***They walk amongst us!*** ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- *One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?' ***They walk among us!!*** ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff' ***They Walk Among Us!!*** --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'. ***They Walk Among Us!!!!*** -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk. ***They Walk Among Us!!!!!*** ----------------------------------------------------------- I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned... ***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!! *** ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'... (I work with professionals like this.) ***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!*** ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. ***Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!! | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14:40:37 06/25/09 Thu If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!! When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning Uphill... barefoot... BOTH ways Yadda, yadda, yadda And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that.... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, We had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!! There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents! Child Protective Servicesdidn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! No where was safe! There were no MP3' s or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished and the tape would come undone.cause that's how we rolled dig? We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your Bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600 ! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel! There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning.. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards! And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove ... Imagine that! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or before! Regards, The over 30 Crowd [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Emergency with Husband | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14:10:10 06/08/09 Mon A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang. It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU. The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible. As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best day ever in the boutiques. She decided to get in a couple of more shops before heading to the hospital. She ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop. She was jubilant. Then she remembered her husband. Feeling guilty , she dashed to the hospital. She saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition. The lady doctor glared at her and shouted, 'You went ahead and finished your shopping trip didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will require round-the-clock care. And he will now be your career!' The woman was feeling so guilty she broke down and sobbed. The lady doctor then chuckled and said, 'I'm just pulling your leg. He's dead. Show me what you bought.' [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
Subject:  This game be a big smile when I read it! ~Sugar Cookie | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 16:35:32 06/03/09 Wed THESE REALLY WORK!! AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK. 3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER. 4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON. 5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH. 6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE. 7. IF YOU CAN' T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM. DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] Replies:
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| Subject: PRICELESS!!! | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11:27:54 06/02/09 Tue One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Bob says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like the dickens!! I guess I'd better see a doctor.' 'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies. 'There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs $10 - A lot cheaper than a doctor.' So, Bob deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits $10, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. 10 seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: 'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and Epsom salts found on aisle 2. Avoid heavy activity. It will improve in 2 weeks. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.' That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled .. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Bob hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.. He deposits $10, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm.. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7) 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better! Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: The Second Marriage | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14:53:19 05/21/09 Thu An elderly lady aged 80 decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (80's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME & MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs. The old woman said, 'You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you...you have no legs! The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot run around on you!' She snorted. 'You don't have any arms either!' Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I can never beat you!' She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, 'Are you still good in bed???' The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, 'Rang the doorbell didn't I ?' [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: The Dead Cow At The Vet School | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11:38:43 05/13/09 Wed The Dead Cow At The Vet School First-year students at the UC Davis Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered witha white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities asa doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.' For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet,stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. 'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger.' 'Now learn to pay attention.Life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid.' [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Tiara | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 13:21:10 05/08/09 Fri Subscribe Today !!!  Now only $25 for 1 year or $48 for 2 years. EMAIL: TIARAMAGAZINE@YAHOO.COM Include your full name, mailing address, and Subscription in the subject box.  ATTENTION PAGEANT DIRECTORS & VENDORS! Advertise with Tiara Magazine Today! Tiara Magazine has the LOWEST rates available in Pageantry Publication starting out as low as $15!! Receive 3 months of advertising for the price of one!! Email us now!! Email us at TiaraMagazine@yahoo.com myspace.com/TiaraMagazine Banners By: APA Designs [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
Subject:  Ha, Ha, Ha!!! ~Sugar Cookie | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 16:30:27 05/03/09 Sun A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?' After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake?" [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: The New Diet | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 15:24:39 04/30/09 Thu A woman asks her husband, 'Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?' He declines. 'Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra,' he says. 'It's really taken the edge off my appetite.' At lunchtime she asked if he would like something. 'A bowl of soup, home made muffins, or a cheese sandwich?' He declines. 'The Viagra,' he says, 'really trashes my desire for food.' Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. 'Would you like a juicy rib-eye steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?' He declines again. 'No,' he says, 'it's got to be the Viagra... I'm still not hungry.' 'Well,' she says, 'Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: This, of course, is a TRUE story! ~Sugar Cookie | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 12:34:58 04/29/09 Wed It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Christine. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Christine to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work and although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out twice is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points. When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too. I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Christine. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.. Many men will find it difficult. Some will even find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older... However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other... Signed, Jim EDITOR'S NOTE: Jim died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Christine was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 Minutes to find her Not Guilty,accepting her defense that Jim somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Thank God For Kids... ~Mr. Man~ | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 17:34:43 04/21/09 Tue IF THIS DOES NOT BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER AND GO BACK TO BED. 1) NUDITY: I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!' 2) OPINIONS: On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.' 3) KETCHUP: A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.' 4) MORE NUDITY: A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?' 5) POLICE # 1: While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her.' Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe? 6) POLICE # 2: It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, What'd he do? 7) ELDERLY: While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this! 8) DRESS-UP: A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning! 9) DEATH: While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.'(I want this line used at my funeral!) 10) SCHOOL: A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk! 11) BIBLE: A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear! New Subject: Widdel Wabbits A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?" She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice, "I don't think my python weally gives a thit." [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Stranded Scotchman | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 16:54:00 04/21/09 Tue Stranded Scotchman One day an Scotchman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, 'It's certainly not a ship.' As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft. Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit. Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! She walked up to the stunned Scotchman and said to him, 'Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good cigar?' 'Ten years,' replied the amazed Scotchman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter. He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. 'Faith and begorrah,' said the castaway, 'that is so good! I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!' 'And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good " Scotch Whiskey"? asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, 'Ten years.' Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask of scotch handed it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. ' 'Tis nectar of the gods!' shouted the Scotchman. 'Tis truly fantastic!!!' At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, 'And how long has it been since you played around?' With tears in his eyes, the Scotchman fell to his knees and sobbed, 'OH MY! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there, too!' [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: One Flaw In Women (To all my LL friends) ~Sugar Cookie | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 10:13:38 04/20/09 Mon Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideas. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give. HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: IT'S TIME TO VOTE!!! | |
Author: Anonymous [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 03:14:13 03/28/09 Sat FOR THE MISS MARCH _ BEAUTIFUL STARS OF THE MIDWEST PHOTO CONTEST!!!! TO CAST YOUR VOTE TODAY GO TO:l WWW.ABPRODUCTIONS./ORG [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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