| Subject: Another reason to be cheerful... |
Author:
Tyler Durden
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Date Posted: 14:36:19 09/23/03 Tue
I always find watching Full Metal jacket entertaining. Here's a few of Gunnery Sergeant Hartmans best lines to lighten the mood:
"Are you quitting on me?! Well, are you?! Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! Now! Move it! I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo!"
"God has a hard on for Marines, because we kill everything we see. He plays His games, we play ours. To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls. God was here before the marine corps, so you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the corps!"
"There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here, you are all equally worthless."
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: "How tall are you, private?"
Private Cowboy: "Sir, five-foot-nine, sir!"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: "Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high."
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: "Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit, tinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh?! The fairy fucking godmother said it! Out-fucking-standing! I will PT you all until you fucking die! I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk."
[grabs private Cowboy]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: "Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh?"
Private Cowboy: "Sir No Sir!"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: "You little piece of shit you look like a fucking worm, I bet it was you!"
"Jesus Christ Pyle, don't try too hard. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there, wouldn't he?"
"I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be watching you!"
"Private Pyle, I'm gonna give you three seconds, exactly three fuckin' seconds, to wipe that stupid lookin' grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you!"
"Bullshit! It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress"
"Pyle, you had best unfuck yourself and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely fuck you up"
"Pyle, you climb obstacles like old people fuck!"
"You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary J. Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over!"
"Hell I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister."
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: "Private Joker, do you believe in the Virgin Mary?"
Private Joker: "Sir, no sir!"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: "Well Private Joker, I don't believe I heard you correctly!"
Private Joker: "Sir, the private said "no sir," sir!"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: "Why you little maggot, you make me want to vomit!"
[Slaps Joker]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: "You goddamned communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I'm gonna stomp your guts out!"
"Holy dog shit! Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: "Did your parents have any children that lived?"
Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, Yes Sir!"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: "I'll bet they regret that. Your so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece!"
"Bullshit! Sound off like ya got a pair"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: "What's your name fat-body?!?"
Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, Leonard Lawrence, Sir!"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: ""Lawrence"?!? Lawrence what of Arabia?!?"
Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, No, Sir!"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: "That name sounds like royalty are you royalty?!?"
Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, No, Sir!"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: "Do you suck dicks?!?"
Private Gomer Pyle: "Sir, No, Sir!"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Drill Instructor: "Bullshit! I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose! I don't like the name Lawrence, only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence! From now on you're Gomer Pyle!"
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