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LIVING THE DREAM

Losing the toss and missing doubles since 1998

A message board of distinction for the Egerton Arms Darts Club B-Troop and Chester City ISA FC

and the debauched proletariat thereof


Return to www.chestercityisafc.co.uk
Subject: Another Lyric


Author:
Rob
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:41:02 03/18/03 Tue
Same era as FNM - same genre as well...

They load the clip in omnicolour
They pack the 9 they fire it at prime time
The sleeping gas every home was like Alcatraz
And mother fuckers lost their minds

No escape from the mass mind rape
Play it again Jack and then rewind the tape
And then play it again and again and again
Until your mind is locked in

Believing all the lies that they're telling you
Buying all the products that they're selling you
They say jump and you say how high
You're brain-dead..................
Subject: Lyrics


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:48:16 03/15/03 Sat
Digging back a bit, do any of the metal heads remember this?

"It's cryin', bleedin', lying on the floor
So you lay down on it and you do it some more
You've got to share it, so you dare it
Then you bare it and you tear it"

The only clue I am giving you is that it is a classic. An absolute, cast in stone, bona fide classic.

PS - Anybody see Peter Kay doing Brian Potter with the disabled basketball dancers on Comic Relief last night? Best thing on it by a country mile. Absolute genius.
Replies:
Subject: Sorry...


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:37:38 03/18/03 Tue
Sorry about the board being down, seems a bit faster now though...

No joy with the quote below Cage? I thought it was an easy one, a top 10 single is not often the subject of the quote?

Sunday, home to MBNA. Look forward to us coming back from the shite on Sunday to a win?

Quote of the week was at the Deva vs Doncaster, aimed at poodle headed Don Goodman (who was a sub and was warming up by the home end) - "The sad thing is Goodman, that you dont realise what a stupid cunt you actually look". Cue the whole ground pissing itself at him! Quality.
Replies:
Subject: Lyric of the week is back baby!!


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:45:40 03/14/03 Fri
Songwriters these days eh? Full of shit. Writing crappy lyrics and generally being lazy fuckwits. For this lyric i have delved deep into the archives (1999!!), but i think its pretty damn cool and it makes a nice change to the depressing lyrics posted in the past...

"my god sits in the back of the limousine
my god comes in a wrapper of cellophane
my god pouts on the cover of the magazine
my god's a shallow little bitch trying to make the scene

i have arrived and this time you should believe the hype
i listened to everyone now i know that everyone was right
i'll be there for you as long as it works for me
i play a game it's called insincerity"

Come on maka, i have the faith.
Replies:
Subject: quick joke


Author:
baggio
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:13:38 03/12/03 Wed
mellor tried to phone you from town the other day, i put my doner card in phone instead of phone card it cost me a fucking arm and a leg !!!! ha ha
Replies:
Subject: its back to the drawing board


Author:
observer
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:00:33 03/09/03 Sun
after two weeks of playing so well thats the worst i think i've witnessed since the team boot game did anyboby want to play today ???
lets put it right next week we will be up for re-alection to the league if we lose many more games at this rate.
come on boys lets get it sorted.
Replies:
Subject: perv


Author:
mr pervie
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:29:56 03/10/03 Mon
ave a look ere you perves,
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.multigids.net/preview/upload/mirrored/drag.html">http://www.multigids.net/preview/upload/mirrored/drag.html</a>

let your mouse do the work!!!!!!
Subject: perv


Author:
mr pervie
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:29:27 03/10/03 Mon
ave a look ere you perves,
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.multigids.net/preview/upload/mirrored/drag.html">http://www.multigids.net/preview/upload/mirrored/drag.html</a>

let your mouse do the work!!!!!!
Subject: joke


Author:
joker
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 18:04:24 03/08/03 Sat
NAME THE LAST RED TO TURN BLUE-------HOULLIER-HA-HA
Replies:
  • Re: joke -- Mellor, 21:59:26 03/08/03 Sat
Subject: MELLOR


Author:
MICKEY
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:18:56 03/04/03 Tue
WELL DAVE 2-0 GOOD RESULT. NOT MANY OF THE SCOUSE HATERS POSTING THERE ANTI LIVERPOOL MESSAGES NOW IS THERE.KEEP THE FAITH OUR TIME WILL COME SOONER THAN LATER.
Replies:
Subject: Worthnothin Cup, the Poncier League and the Champions (or top 3 finishers) League - a rant


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 00:52:24 03/05/03 Wed
Lets be honest, there is more passion on a Sunday morning football pitch than on there. They are just a bunch of overpaid, whinging twats. What motivation do you have when you are on £25000 a week? Then they go on the telly and talk about the love of the game. It is not the real world.

None of it MEANS fuck all to any of you does it? You might as well support Jennifer Aniston or Robert De Niro because that is all it is. Film stars/PL footballers/TV stars... it's just sanitised bullshit multi media entertainment.

The teams that Dave grew up watching would have been Keegan, McDermott, Tommy Smith etc. In those days he could have gone to the game, paid on the gate, had a couple of beers and got the train home. Today he would have to be a member of LFC Supporters Club (appx £20), write off six weeks in advance, prey you get chosen in the ballot and then sit in a stand with a fucking McDonalds under it with a load of Irish and Japanese tourists, and paying another score for the privelige.

The day out will cost over £60. The game at the highest levels has become a fucking parody of itself. That is why when real passion is shown (the Birmingham derby for instance) the country is in uproar. Football as a working class release. It is about passion, local pride, saving face etc. It is about skill, tradition and generations of stories. Stories that almost become legend.

To use Liverpool as an example. Billy Liddle died recently. An old fella I know from work wept. Liddle-pool they were known when the forward was playing. The man spoke of how the guy played, how he conducted himself. Liddle died in poverty, but died a legend. Ask yourself if anyone will cry when Michael Owen dies in fifty years? The game has changed. He's a nice bloke, but is he made of the stuff of legends? Is anyone these days. He recently wrote a cheque to Kieron Dyer for more money than Billy Liddle earned in a career. Owen will earn that in a week. Overpaid and over-exposed.

Me? I'll still go to the Deva and watch (still overpaid - well some of them...) lesser heroes, but to me they somehow feel more real. They are not film stars, just blokes like me, earning a crust. Not an overpaid shitbag like Robbie Savage. Now NO FUCKER will cry for him, the Wrexham prick.
Replies:
Subject: Fixtures


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:39:57 02/24/03 Mon
Sunday 2nd March - home to Tattenhall meet at 10 (Imps)

Sunday 9th March - home to Bulls Head meet at 10 (Imps)

Sunday 16th March - away to Cherry meet at 10.30 (Saltney CC)

Sunday 23rd March - home to MBNA meet at 10 (Imps)
Replies:
Subject: Worthington Cup.


Author:
Mellor
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:32:59 03/02/03 Sun
Well what can i say LiverPool 2 Man utd 0 LiverPool well worth the win.It seemed a bitter pill for Ferguson swallow but there you have it.As for us this morning could and should have won but only for a blind ref that did not see the no 9 for Tattenhall climb all over the Hose and give us the free kick we should have had, other than that we did well.Tizz Scott Rens Mark the Hose all had very good games.
Replies:
Subject: Wanking


Author:
Tug
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:22:35 02/28/03 Fri
Funny how spunk always sticks to the hairs on your legs when u have a snatch in the bath!
Replies:
Subject: 7 Day theory


Author:
Painter
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:24:26 02/27/03 Thu
I resemble that remark!
Replies:
Subject: And now you're gonna believe us.....


Author:
Taylor
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 14:18:51 02/27/03 Thu
Reynolds is a prick.
Replies:
Subject: ONE FOR BAMBA


Author:
MELLOR
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:43:38 02/24/03 Mon
THERE IS ONLY ONE WORD IN THE DICTIONARY THAT HAS TWO US'IN IT WHAT IS THE WORD?
Replies:
Subject: Saddam Hussein...


Author:
George Bush
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:15:29 02/27/03 Thu
...should be "So damn insane".

Also for those oppsoed to war, take note that Saddam spelt backwards is Madd Ass [give or take a letter].
Subject: Another quiz


Author:
Nicholas Parsons
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:36:25 02/24/03 Mon
How many fingers am I holding up? Sorry.

Name the 9 (nine) football Clubs in the Premiership and Divs 1 to 3 in England and Scotland with the same letter at the start of their name as at the end?

An example (for Renns) would be Celtic. Begins in C, ends in C. etc.

Answers on a postcard to the 'Blacon Sale of the Century'.
Replies:
Subject: Training in taffy land


Author:
Mellor
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 18:31:22 02/23/03 Sun
Good kick about today but what happened to the rest of our squad only ten truned up. rens why did i bother to get sky sports back what aload of crap!play like that next week against man utd we will get creamed.
Replies:
Subject: Riddle for the lads


Author:
Bamber Gascoigne
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:40:10 02/22/03 Sat
Think of words ending in -GRY. Angry and hungry are two of them. There are only three words in the English language. What is the third word? The word is something that everyone uses every day.

If you have listened carefully, I have already told you what it is
Replies:
Subject: joke


Author:
joker
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:51:52 02/23/03 Sun

wot do you call a taliban who`s been out catchin rabbits "osama bin lampin"
Subject: Jekyll and Hyde


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:44:44 02/16/03 Sun
How can anyone go from being so shit to playing so well over a 5 minute break? Some great performances there lads, Tommy H was outstanding, Ditch and Braz solid, and Renns excellent again. Even Tiz played OK. To come from 4 down to miss out on a point by hitting a post is well gutting, but it's better than sitting here on the end of a 9 goal mauling.

Keep smiling.

Hehehe Hu Chinned Yow - the chinese brummie with a black eye!
Replies:
Subject: Website updated


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:50:30 02/21/03 Fri
Game is off on Sunday. Training Saltney 11am. Cya there.
Subject: Rhinestone Cowboy


Author:
Norman Williamson Appreciation Society
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:11:26 02/15/03 Sat
This horse is going to give Stormin' Norman Williamson his second Champion Hurdle on 11th March. It has just beaten last years winner Hors La Loi III without trying, and is currently available at 3/1. Back it as soon as you can, that price will not last. And I will be there to see him do it.

Top bombing.
Replies:
Subject: keep smiling


Author:
baggio
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:04:20 02/13/03 Thu
i'm happy oh so happy
Replies:
Subject: another sunday like any other


Author:
baggio
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:00:10 02/13/03 Thu
oh well boys heads up theres always this sunday, after all the sitting and driving about for almost 2 hours you all got a run i had to make way once again for those you havn't seen for most of the games played so i should be the one with my head down but i'll turn up again sunday and hope not missed a game yet!!!!! or maybe i'll miss a few and walk into side it works for everyone else.
see you sunday boys
Replies:
Subject: Sundays Game


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:59:07 02/13/03 Thu
The council, in their infinite wisdom, have called all pitches off for Sunday.

We are now playing the Ship at Christleton Sports Centre (where we played last week). Meet at 10am to put the nets up.

Pass the news on. I will text the usual suspects anyway.
Subject: Comic Relief...


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:23:10 02/13/03 Thu
Whats the best thing about a blow job?

10 minutes of silence.
Subject: highfield fc


Author:
the gaffer
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:23:46 02/03/03 Mon
highfield 1 gamekeeper 2
out of the cup
1st home defeat since march17th 2002
Replies:
Subject: Another week, another good performance for fuck all reward


Author:
'Goal a game' NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:35:51 02/09/03 Sun
Absolutely gutted today. Last bastard kick of the game.

Never mind, onto next Sunday, home to my title tip, The Ship Inn.

Stiff as a board sat here, hamstrings especially.

Keep smiling.
Replies:
Subject: PS2-GAMES


Author:
MELLOR
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 14:51:38 02/05/03 Wed
IF ANY ONE IS BY BLOCKBUSTER'S GO IN AND RENT LORD OF THE RINGS THE TWO TOWERS IT IS BRILL CAN'T STOP PLAYING IT!
Replies:
Subject: This year just keeps getting better and better.


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 08:46:49 02/06/03 Thu
Hello Tyler, what a fine morning this is!

The other week Houllier pointed out that Liverpool had to repeat there treble cup success of a few years ago... that was the MOST IMPORTANT thing.

21:59, Wed 02 03 - "I think it is a blessing in disguise that we are out of the FA Cup."

Is this man for real! Surely, even Liverpool fans must be trying to wrap their heads around that one.

I alomost think that United should give the Worthington Cup to Liverpool for services to football. They fully deserve it, even i feel sorry for them, considering the amount of sacrifices they've made this season.

I dont think ive ever been this happy.

Viva le Eagles!!!!!!!!!!
Replies:
Subject: joke


Author:
kev
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:35:02 02/07/03 Fri
WHAT DOES NASA STAND FOR???

Need

Another

Seven

Astronaughts
Subject: Coming your way this autumn....


Author:
Simon Cowell
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:46:37 02/06/03 Thu
Ive just struck a deal with ITV, in association with Popstars.

The Xander and Tyler love story is to be turned into a 79 part mini series for ITV, with Will Young as Tyler Durden, Gareth Gates as Xander Cage, Korben (remember the gay one?) as Steve Painter and Darius as Scott Ditchfield

Rick Waller is to reprise a role similar to that of Mike Myers in the Austin Powers movie and play half the members of the ISA team.

Kev Thomas is to be played by the ginger one from Girls Aloud.
Replies:
Subject: HIGHFIELD FC


Author:
NON DRIP
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 19:19:01 02/05/03 Wed
ANY COMMENTS ON OUR REF SUNDAY 2 FEB
Subject: just one more


Author:
Kev
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:11:37 02/05/03 Wed
News Update

Space Shuttle Columbia's black box has just been recovered last transmission was GO ON THEN LET HER HAVE A DRIVE, WHAT HARM COULD IT DO
Replies:
Subject: joke


Author:
Kev
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:09:22 02/05/03 Wed
- Give it here

- NO ITS MINE

- let me have it

- ITS MY TURN

- you had it last

- F@CK OFF

- c'mon gimme it

- NO WAY

siamese twins havin a wank
Subject: Im Back


Author:
Kev Thomas
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:02:48 02/05/03 Wed
Just for information too anyone that has my email address. After being off line for 2 months i have paid the internet bill and Im Back on Line.

Anyone that doesnt have my email address just continue giving me the abuse in the usual way on the message board.

Kev T
Subject: Why was Sunday's Game Off ?


Author:
Sunday Driver
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:32:49 02/03/03 Mon
Driving down the M56 on Sunday morning, and the sun was shining on the Frodsham pitches with every pitch having games being played on them except the one which was Due to host the ISA game. So what happened ?? Why was the game not on, if they try and Fob you off with the pitch was unplayable, take it from me there was games on on the very patch of grass, I saw them meself.

Claim the 3 points lads. Or the 1 point if you wanna keep the Draw specialist kings title
Replies:
Subject: ISAFC / Gambling luck link...The evidence mounts


Author:
Rob
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:20:59 02/01/03 Sat
As you may be aware, I am currently exploring any connection between our performances on a Sunday and how much of my wages are frittered away at the bookies.

The main bet of the week last week was the Arse to win at Anfield. Was looking like a collect for virtually all of the game until the last minute when it all went tits up.

Surely that can't be a coincidence?

Will be able to tell you tonight whether we would have won tomorrow or not...
Replies:
Subject: Crap


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:41:16 01/30/03 Thu
"Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"

Crap

No, make that, annoying and crap.
Replies:
Subject: Hiatous over...


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:49:09 01/30/03 Thu
Well ive been absent for a while as ive moved into a new office with a brand new pc (with flat screen monitor and chrome finish... now thats a right touch!), but now im back to rile that Tyler twat up again. Kidding.

I dont know you're lyric below NWAS but ill keep trying. Ive just bought some classy albums lately. One inparticular by Stone Sour. Their lead singer is none other than Corey Taylor of Slipknot fame. Why would i do this to myself i hear you ask? The mans voice is tremendous! Sounds absolutely nothing like Slipknot, the albums all strings and orchestras.

Anyway... nuff for now.

ps, we still watchin Sum 41 on saturday, Tyler?
Replies:
Subject: Web site updated


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:29:28 01/29/03 Wed
Prolific updating of the ISA website Sunday, Muddy Sunday continues. Tyler has issued us with another match report, this time of Sundays game against the Shropshire. I've also posted the picture out of last weeks Standard and updated the stats.

I am waiting for someone else to write summat, it's all me and TD!
Replies:
Subject: A night at the FA


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:26:06 01/29/03 Wed
The foul language and the encroachment were dropped, but I was found guilty of abusive language by my own confession of calling the referee a 'disgrace'. I await my punishment.

The same referee had an appeal go against him on the same night from Dee Rangers.

The same referee also had an appeal by the player Paul Cunningham go against him on the same night.

The same referee also had an appeal by the Waggon Old Boys FC go against him on the same night.

One referee kept the appeals panel busy all night. Speaks volumes.
Subject: Lyrical question?


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:44:21 01/29/03 Wed
One for the elder heads... or maybe Xander fancies his chances??!

"You'd say I'm putting you on
but it's no joke, it's doing me harm
you know I can't sleep, I can't stop my brain
you know it's three weeks, I'm going insane
you know I'd give you everything I've got
for a little peace of mind."

Dont get much better. Poetry to music. But what and by whom?
Subject: I know he's innocent til proven guilty, but he does look like one!


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:15:47 01/29/03 Wed
I know some are repeated, but some are quality!!!

Matthew Kelly was on a ship with 100 boy scouts and 100 girl guides when
it hit an iceberg and started to sink. The captain announced "We're sinking!
Everyone abandon ship!"
> Matthew Kelly asked, "What about the children?"
> The captain replied, "fcuk the children!"
> Matthew Kelly looked around eagerly and said "Do we have time?"
>
> What's the difference between greyhound racing and Matthew Kelly?
> The greyhounds wait for the hare.
>
> What is the worst thing about being Matthew Kelly?
> You have to go to bed before 7.00
>
> How do you know when it is bedtime at the Kelly residence?
> When the big hand touches the small hand
>
> Have you heard about Matthew Kelly's New Book?
> It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing
>
> A young boy and Matthew Kelly are out at night, walking towards the
forest.
> The boy says, "It's dark! I don't like it! I'm scared!"
> Matthew Kelly says, "You're scared! I've got to walk back out of here on
my own!"
>
>
> Matthew Kelly is sitting in his living room surfing the internet on his
laptop.
> All of a sudden, the door of the apartment whips open and his wife storms
through.
> She screams, "You fcuking @sshole!" and she heads into the bedroom.
Stunned, Matthew flips off the computer and walks toward the bedroom,
wondering, "Now what have I done?"
> Inside the bedroom he finds the missus furiously packing a suitcase. He
asks her what's up. She responds with a hiss, "My therapist says that I
should leave you, and that you're a paedophile!"
> Matthew responds, "Wow, you're pretty smart for an 8 year old."
>
> Have you heard? Matthew Kelly has pulled out of Children In Need...
>
> What's the difference between Matthew Kelly and acne?
> Acne doesn't come on your face until you're thirteen.
>
>
> Matthew Kelly is off to Florida on holiday this year
> He's going to Tampa with the kids.
>
>
> What was Matthew Kellys defence in court.
> He was only kidding.
>
>
> Matthew Kelly and his wife are in Blockbuster to hire a video for the
evening. Mr. Kelly's missus asks him what he wants to watch. He says "How
about we get Aladdin ?". His girlfriend says........
> "Can't we just get a video, you're in enough trouble already."
>
>
> Apparently Matthew Kelly thought Boyz II Men was a delivery service.
>
>
> The similarity between Matthew Kelly, Gary Glitter and whisky?
> They both come in small tots.
>
>
> What do you do if Matthew Kelly is drowning?
> Throw him a buoy!
>
>
> Why was Matthew Kelly spotted at Marks & Sparks?
> He heard boys pants were half-off!
>
>
> What did the lady say to Matthew Kelly at the beach?
> "Excuse me, you're in my son"
>
>
> Matthew Kellys Lawyer is talking to him in the cells at the Old Bailey
just after he has been found guilty on 26 charges of paedophilia.
> "Alright. You got 4 months but look on the bright side. You'll be out in
time for half term"
Subject: highfield fc top chester side


Author:
the gaffer
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 18:45:49 01/27/03 Mon
HIGHFIELD 3 FC GROSVENOR 0
2 points clear at the top,may not last but its good for now
darts team not my problem,if they were as accurate with their arrows as they are with pints they`d be top
Replies:
Subject: Gutted, but much improved again


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:49:34 01/26/03 Sun
We played well today. Scott Ditchfield, Steve Painter, Rob Wellings and Bryan Coleman stood out for me, but the workrate was there from everyone. Can't fault any of you. The lads that came on also did well, Simon was solid, and a great start for Tiz. I heard you shout!!

Gutted not to have won, but for the first fifteen, and for most of the second half, we were excellent. Maybe next week at the top of the League we will come good?

I just hope the hearing goes well on Tuesday night so I can be available for Frodsham??
Replies:
Subject: Egerton match


Author:
Say no to main courses
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:23:07 01/19/03 Sun
Good hard fought point today lads, with a bit more luck the referee would have been closer in and seen that Braz's shot had crossed the line by a yard after hitting the bar. Never mind. Nice to see Marc Edwards tee shirt 'Livin' the Dream' getting an airing. Thought he'd never get to show it! Some good performances across the pitch, but Steve Painter, Dave Mel, Jon Hocking and the Gaffer all had really good games. Should put us in better spirits for the visit of the Shropshire to the Imps next Sunday. Must dash, I feel a bit rough...
Replies:
Subject: Web Site


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:51:46 01/23/03 Thu
The website has had a lot of work done on it tonight. There is a match report from last Sunday, and all of the stats have been updated (Goalscorers, MOM and fixtures).

Check it out, maybe write something for us??? Awww, go on...
Replies:
Subject: If Carlsbergs the best lager in the world then....


Author:
Freddie Laker
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:04:30 01/23/03 Thu
Qantas... Probably the funniest bunch of bastards in the Sky
Subject: You've probly heard em all but heres the Matthew Kelly gags...


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:32:21 01/23/03 Thu
What did the lady say to Matthew Kelly on the beach?
"Excuse me, you're in my son"

What's Matthew Kelly got in common with a good whisky?
They both come in small tots

What's the difference between Matthew Kelly and acne?
Acne doesn't come on your face till you're 13

What's the difference between Matthew Kelly and greyhound racing?
The greyhounds wait for the hare

What's Father Christmas got in common with Matthew Kelly?
They both leave little boys bedrooms with empty sacks

I know he's probably innocent but...
Subject: Good Charlotte


Author:
Punk In Drublic
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:18:06 01/23/03 Thu
You seen em yet Tyler ? If so, thoughts and Opinions please

P.S Had to write and ask, as fuckin Sick of the Bee Gees thing being the first thing I see as the page downloads !!!
Replies:
Subject: bee gee


Author:
joker
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:14:03 01/20/03 Mon
GOT SOME BEE-GEE CONCERT TICKETS FOR SALE IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED, AND THIERS A "THIRD OFF".
Replies:
Subject: The best joke I've heard in ages...


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:05:27 01/23/03 Thu
A man and his wife go to the site of their honeymoon for their 25th anniversary.
As the couple is reflecting on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asks the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replies, "All I wanted to do was screw your brains out and suck your breasts dry."
"What are you thinking now?" the wife asks as she undresses.
The husband quickly replies: "It looks like I did a pretty good job."
Subject: highfield fc top blacon side


Author:
the gaffer
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 23:58:16 01/19/03 Sun
highfield 4 wheelwrights 3
joint top d`ya believe it
Replies:
Subject: You're Not Alone Michael


Author:
Rob
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:36:48 01/19/03 Sun
The papers think Michael Owen has bad gambling luck - they should see what my form is like...

For the record, the bets to avoid this week are;

Notts County to beat Stockport
Cardiff to win at Port Vale
Bristol City to win at Bournemouth
Crewe to win at Shrewsbury

Cheers.
Replies:
Subject: Music Lovers


Author:
Punk In Drublic
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 23:53:41 01/17/03 Fri
Xander, Tyler... anyone else for that matter, have you heard "Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous" by a band called Good Charlotte

Top Tune !!!
Replies:
Subject: Game on Sunday


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:15:27 01/17/03 Fri
For those of you that didn't hear last week, the game on Sunday is on at Westminster Park. Meet at 10.30. We are playing the Egerton Arms.

The week after we are at home to the Shropshire at the Imps. Meet at 10 to put the nets up.

After that it is the Ring of Bells away at Saltworks Farm (the one by the motorway) in Frodsham, meet at 10 at the Royal Oak in Mickle Trafford.

On February 9th, we are at home to Dee Rangers on the Imps. Again meet at 10.

Anyone who cant make any of the games call me or Braz. Cheers.
Subject: Houllier's Words of Wisdom


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:43:34 01/16/03 Thu
Gerard Houllier has won December's 'Carling Comedy Manager of the Month' award with some tremendous displays.


* “I don't want to comment on the incident involving Chris, but I'm pleased he did not have his leg broken. If he had not lifted his leg up he could have had his leg broken” - Gerard Houllier speaks out against Sheff United’s Michael Brown. Yes, this is the same Gerard Houllier who had argued 24 hours earlier, when Steve Gerrard was charged with violent conduct by the FA, that: “Our player had no intention of hurting anybody” adding as proof, “After the Everton incident the Everton player continued playing.” Funny, I remember hearing Naysmith’s scream about the din of the Anfield crowd, and him receiving treatment as a melee broke out around him. And Kirkland continuing to play on Wednesday - which, apparently, makes the challenge all right.


* “You have to take into consideration the pitch was awful to play on. Sometimes we tried to play, but it was difficult. Maybe we should have been more direct, but the pitch definitely worked in Sheffield United's favour” - Houllier’s first excuse after the 2-1 defeat in the Worthington Cup against Sheffield United.

* “We were expecting a physical challenge, but it was more than that at times” - Gerard Houllier’s second excuse after the 2-1 defeat in the Worthington Cup against Sheffield United.

* "I would agree. I thought Liverpool were a little over-physical if I'm honest. I thought they could have had a couple more bookings, but I understand that because they are fighting for their lives”- Neil Warnock’s quite brilliant response after being asked if he agreed with Houllier's view that the tie was overly physical.

* “I am looking forward to next year's Olympics in Athens to see if they include the world's fastest growing sport - radio phone-ins. I prefer to listen to the real fans, the 5,000 who went to Aston Villa before Christmas and stood by us” - Gerard Houllier with an early contender for most ignorant comment of the year.

* “We are struggling, I must admit that” - Gerard Houllier comes clean after not winning a Premiership game since the second day of November.

"At the AGM it was clear that the shareholders and the board knew that it wasn't a crisis, it's just a fine margin between winning and losing...At some stage, the club will win the title and win the Champions League under me. That's for sure” - Gerard Houllier remains defiant in Saturday’s Daily Telegraph. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Loser!
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Subject: Latest News just in...


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:27:45 01/16/03 Thu
Matthew Kelly is to join Pete Townsend and his family on holiday in Florida. A spokeswoman says 'To escape the current media circus, they're both off to Tampa with the kids......'
Subject: Autographs


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:16:28 01/16/03 Thu
Hey Tyler, im not going to this Owen thing later, and it doesnt look like autographs are on the menu. I can chance it by leaving your shirts in the fitness centre with someone i know. Your call.
Replies:
Subject: Football World stunned at Bowyer punishment...


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:04:07 01/16/03 Thu
Football World stunned at Bowyer punishment :

Switzerland 8th January 2003 :

UEFA today stunned the football world by handing out a severe penalty to England international Lee Bowyer after finding him guilty of stamping on an opponent during an UEFA cup match. Bowyer has been banned from European competition for six games and made to sign for West Ham United. The combination of the six game ban and enforced transfer to West Ham means effectively Bowyer has been banned from European football for a minimum of FIFTEEN years.

Bowyer himself is said to be philosophical after finally been caught on CCTV stamping on a grounded opponent but does admit he is at least partly to blame as he should have phoned a team mate to come and pick him up and destroyed his boots and socks like he normally does when he finds himself in these situations ....

Bowyer's contract entitles him to a £1m bonus payment should West Ham escape relegation, the contract is also believed to include payments should he find Lord Lucan (£750k), prove the existence of extra-terrestial life (£500k) or explain why the f**k they paid several million pound for Titi Camera (£250k).

Meanwhile official West Ham sources would make no comment on rumours that West Ham are to change their away strip to a white sheet with a white hood to make Bowyer feel more at home.
Subject: One for the "Darts buffs"...


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:36:43 01/13/03 Mon
"Barney Rubble" Vs. "The Power". Who's better???

I reckon it'd have to be Barney, fresh off destroying the field at Frimley Green. As I said below, The Power either needs to start entering the Womens section or get a new make-up artist.

"Burn baby burn! - Disco inferno!
Burn baby burn! - Burn that mother down"
Another child orphaned.
Replies:
Subject: Bastard Of A Day....


Author:
Fiat Punter
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:40:45 01/11/03 Sat
Firstly had to work, and missed the 29 mins of the match that was played. No doubt none of me mates even gave me a second thought when the vouchers were being given out, and tried to get me one which means I'll have to pay to get in On Wednesday, which wouldn't have been so bad had my only bet of the day a nice little 11-1 shot with a tenner of my money riding on it, get beat by a 100-1 outsider.

AHHHHH Should have stayed in bed !!!!
Replies:
Subject: A lyric to contemplate for Tyler, Xander and The Mighty...


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:58:01 01/12/03 Sun
"I'd beg for some forgiveness, but beggings not my business"

Style never goes out of fashion.
Subject: Today and Tomorrow


Author:
Jossie S. Giants
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:22:21 01/11/03 Sat
Couldn't believe the game was on when it said it was on the text when I got home, and when Cleggy said Lancaster was playing I knew it shouldn't have gone ahead. The players slid around for half an hour and the ref wanted the bath...

I saw the race that the 100/1 shot won, and was made up I never had a bet. Horse racing on sand is like playing football on astroturf. It's OK when you are desbo, but nothing beats the real thing. Speaking of which...

Tomorrow will be at Blacon, as the Saltney pitches are suitable for Swan Lake only. Don't forget, it is 10.30 start, and Old Skool attire is a neccessity.

PS - Seeing the CYF today after the game, 15 of them mobbed up, took me back. I was on the corner of the Kwik Save car park in '87, awaiting the call that we could stop showing face and get on the Kwikky bus back to Blacon. Aaah... memories...

PPS - Silent Hill 2 is the scariest game I have EVER played in my life. Fuck me...
Subject: Part is a breadwinner


Author:
The Mighty
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:28:30 01/09/03 Thu
Well, well, well another year starts with the bookies running scared after Jonny Part clinches big cash for most of the darts team, except goughy who is still suffering from his failure to convert an open goal with some bird on new years eve. The lads continue to train on ice which is unfortunately not possible for the tungsten ticklers on insurance grounds.... Best wishes fot the new year to all concerned and well played to all the lads who were again gallant in defeat in the doubles comp, it isnt meant to be!!!!!
Replies:
Subject: The January Sales


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:27:54 01/03/03 Fri
Now that the transfer window is open, CCISA FC can look to offload that shitty excuse for a left winger, Reynolds (i hear Team Boot are in the market for attacking talent after an up-turn in form).

Well don't fear, as i have managed to get hold of a very useful guide. If you can get any money out of that stingy, Chairman Brighty and Chief Exec Howells, then all i can say is... happy shopping Braz!


Know Your Enemy...

It'll be dog eat dog in the aisles, so sharpen those elbows. Keep an eye out for a panic-stricken Frenchman, eyes bulging at the goodies on display, who is looking to stock up on loads of showy foreign labels to bolster his normally-conservative wardrobe. And if you're shopping downtown, watch out for a Scot who's grown disillusioned with the high street and will probably be looking to pick up a cheap trinket to match the Uruguayan ornament he bought last year.


Think Long Term...

No matter how cheap, there's no point in bringing something home if you won't be able to maintain it. Okay, you might be able to snap up a hungry young Irish centre-half on the cheap from Man City, but can you really afford to keep it fed? A Honey Monster's not just for Christmas, you know.


Beware Dodgy Foreign Stuff...

That full-length Batistuta might look good on the peg, but will you really want to wear it on a cold Tuesday night in Birmingham? All the same, if it's purely decorative imported antiques you're after, have a word with Sam 'Lovejoy' Allardyce. He'll show you where to look.


Bulk-Buy Down The Pound Shop...

Buy first, ask questions later. If you manage to find a rare Vieira when you eventually rummage through the piles of loot on your kitchen table, no-one will ever ask what you did with the Alberto Mendez and the Tomas Danilevicius you bought last year.


Look Beyond The Packaging...

Okay, John Gregory's probably warned you by now about buying from a flashy video catalogue. In fact, sometimes the best bargains don't look much at all. So don't discount that tatty-looking model, it could be just what you're after. At least we think Luke Chadwick's for sale, anyhow.


Keep The Receipt...

So a smooth-talking French salesman's convinced you to stump up for one of his store's only English-made products - a fine piece of Scouse Glass, ostensibly cast in the shape of a fox but also not dissimilar in appearance to the FA Cup. "Never used," he said. "Hardly out of the box," he punned. Be warned. These models tend to be highly breakable, particularly as they tend to topple over for no apparent reason.


Be Prepared...

That special bargain doesn't come along every day, so you may have to put in the hours with the sleeping bag and flask of tea. Better to rough it than miss out the next time there's an Eric Cantona lying around in a pile of old Keith Gillespies or when an Italian wholesaler wants to offload a Thierry Henry on the cheap just because it can't play right-back.


Check The Warranty...

So, proud as punch, you've unpacked the spoils. Does that incredibly cheap internationally-renowned stopper you picked up in the East End really plug those leaks? Don't tell us you've Breen taken for a mug?


Line Your Pockets...

As some of you already know, the value isn't always in the product. Find the right sales agent and it'll be Christmas all over again when your chairman writes the cheque for that one-legged East European statue. Never mind the quality, feel that kickback.
Replies:
Subject: More Classic Sid...


Author:
Ticket Tout, Selling Roft v Goughie 1st round Tix at £95
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:09:02 01/07/03 Tue
The PDC Is over, but what a great final to leave us all drooling for the UK Open in Bolton to come onto our screens.
Anyway here's some more classic Sid quotes from the end of the week:

"Taylor comes back with two legs Miss World would be proud of."

"These guys look calm but inside they are as nervous as a vampire who knows there's a sale at the wooden stake shop in the morning."

"Keith Deller is like Long John Silver - he's badly in need of another leg."

"Look at the man go,its like trying to stop a waterbufflo with a pea-shooter."

"He's playing like Robin Hood in the Nottingham Open"

"They've got Shakespeare on Radio 2 but you can't beat this for drama."

And an old classic from years ago to round off, which will never be beaten I reckon:
"You couldn't get more excitement here if Elvis Presley walked in eating a chip sandwich!"

Pure Genius !!!
Subject: Keeping it real...


Author:
The Brentmeister General
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:57:02 01/06/03 Mon
Helena: "Is there a 'chick in tow' at the moment?"

David: "Oh I don't kiss and tell"

Helena: "I'm just trying to find out if you're in a relationship at the moment"

David: "Oh 'Brent says 'no comment''"

Helena: "So you don't have a girlfriend?"

David: "Well what is a 'girlfriend'?"

Helena: "Someone you'd have sex with"

David: "Oh.. Don't get coarse in a magazine for the public -I don't think you'd win a Pulitzer Prize for filth"
Subject: Lyric of the new year


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:46:32 01/03/03 Fri
I apologise to all (except for Tyler Durden) for my 2 week absence- Drink to be drunk, turkey to be eaten, Eastern European terrorists to kill, not to mention Miss Argento needing a good roasting.

Anyhows, this is a fucking corking snippet from a quality song... very recent song. Im expecting big things NWAS, you have excelled in 2002 with your lyrical knowledge. Here goes....

Well I been watching, while you been coughing
And i've been drinking life while you've been nauseous
And so I drink to health, while you kill yourself
And I got just one thing that I can offer....

Go on and save yourself
And take it out on me
Go on and save yourself
And take it out on me yea....
Replies:
Subject: For Tyler and Oochie


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:49:14 01/03/03 Fri
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I believe the gap is now 8 points.
Subject: Web Site Updated


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 23:52:36 01/02/03 Thu
The website has been updated to include a new 7-Day Theory. Very good it is too.

" 'If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.' Do you know what philosopher said that? Dolly Parton. And people say she is just a massive pair of tits." David Brent 2002
Subject: What a shite day...


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:16:21 01/01/03 Wed
Back to work tomorrow, after watching that debacle today. Still, there is always the internet to cheer one up! Take a look at this piece of inspired brilliant nonsense from the Kings of Internet Comedy, theOnion.com.

<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.theonion.com/onion3849/man_who_thought.html">http://www.theonion.com/onion3849/man_who_thought.html</a>

...and we got Super Daryl!
Subject: Tip of the Day (number 1 in a series of 1)


Author:
Taxloss
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:36:57 12/31/02 Tue
What better than to see the new year in by taking the bookies hard earned christmas bonus.

Australia are 4/11 to win the 5th Test at Ladbrokes. Take their hands off. No other result can happen surely?

As for today, an earlybird 3/1 is available for Horus in the 2.10 at Cheltenham. Wouldn't bet the house on it, (well, I would if I could find where the girlfriend has hidden the deeds) but might be worth a Pavorotti.

Have a great night tonight everyone.

Rob
Replies:
Subject: Message to Brighty and Emma (sorry mate, no gas in the moby!)


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 00:00:49 12/31/02 Tue
Well done mate. Now then, where's the stag???!!

I'd get meself one of these if I were you...

<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.tpe.com/~altarboy/male.htm"></a>
Replies:
Subject: Peter Manley - fat wanker


Author:
ERSC - Eight Rights Service Crew
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 23:53:28 12/30/02 Mon
Turn the lights off in your dressing room Manley you arrogant, bad loser twat. The lead singer from the Spin Doctors knocked you out. Did you shake his hand?

You'd do well for the Shite Horse. Bring the Horse on at the Edge and they are fucking having it.

Feather Flights - "Keep it real, keep it Old Skool"
Subject: DasBoot


Author:
Tracey Burns
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 23:48:57 12/30/02 Mon
Would you suck a ten year old banana?
Subject: Sid Waddell - Genius


Author:
Ollie Croft
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:23:16 12/30/02 Mon
Only 5 days in and Sid has already had some great lines:

Bob anderson was over 300 pts ahead in the leg when sid came out with this one: "Well bob needs double 16, and Al needs a hedgehog"

Sid talking about the number of bounce outs Rod Harrington
had in his match and how difficult it is to win darts matches with that kinda luck: "Well to have that many bounce outs and try and get to the double first is like trying to run the 100 meters with a wooden leg"

Sid talking about John Lowes Poor scoring: "Well John's not hitting them here, the only way he's gonna get his averages to anything half decent is if he starts throwing Cactus at the board"

Quality !!!
Subject: Belated Happy Christmas


Author:
Rob
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 14:33:40 12/30/02 Mon
Hope you all had a good one.

One category you may have missed is throwaway comment of the year.. Can't make my mind up between Macca's "Slow down, I'll offer him out" coming back from Morecambe, The Earl's "It was cheaper than my coat" in the boozer after Southport, or Burnsy's "Have you got a light, soft lad?" in Morecambe. Pure genius the lot of em...

The mighty Town's results are starting to turn round and it looks like being a great 2003 for Chester. Who knows, it may all be done and dusted by the time Yeovil away comes round and we can all go down there knowing Chester are champions.

Lets hope so eh?

Take it easy - see you on Wednesday.
Subject: That was the year that was


Author:
TBG
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:44:34 12/24/02 Tue
I'll follow on from NWAS and The Mighty by wishing everyone I know from Football, Darts and the C Block a Very Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year.

Agree completely with the NWAS yearly awards - best signing for Chester this year - difficult one isn;t it....Guyett,Clare,Sugden... these were moments that stood out for me from 2002....

The day we won the Section D Championship, what a day I never thought I would be involved in a title winning Football team again, absolute magic. A good afternoon after also.

Steve Vaughan and Mark Wright have not only saved Chester but have put us back on the map, we now have a team and a set up that all Conference clubs would be proud of, it is great to see everyone down at the ground with a smile on their face and enjoying their football, long may it continue!!

The spirit and humour of the Football team was spread when this year we formed the Darts team, what a laugh....it has been brilliant. My New Years Honour to get back on track and start hitting the board Consistently!

Chester 5 Stevenage 0 - the last game of the season, walking away from the ground that day you could sense that the club was turning in the right direction.

All the best and remember 'Keep it Real Keep it Old School'
Replies:
Subject: Merry Christmas to all


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:19:12 12/24/02 Tue
I would just like to wish all of the lads in the football team, the darts team, the Hife etc a great Christmas and a very Happy New Year.

2002 was fun (especially winning a Champions medal :) ), but when the chips were down, the lads have pulled together to make some of this seasons games that bit more enjoyable.

My 2002 Player of the Year - Johnson would be an obvious choice, but for me, Graeme Reynolds has been outstanding. Scores goals, makes great runs and will play anywhere he is asked to.

My goal of 2002 - The one Andy Johnson scored away at the Ship when we won 2-1. Three words. A Fucking Beauty.

My game of 2002 - The 5-4 win at Tattenhall this season. Out of adversity comes light. An absolute pleasure to be involved in.

My Chester goal of 2002 - Daryl Clares 3rd against Margate. Wow.

My Chester player of 2002 - Phil Bolland. Sheer class.

Song of 2002 - By the Way by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Album of 2002 - England, Half English by Billy Bragg.

TV show of 2002 - Phoenix Nights ("won't be long, now...")

Darter of the Year 2002 - The Prince of the Port

Anyone got any more categories? It's just that I am bored and it is only Christmas Eve...

Have a good 'un folks. See you all soon.

Mak
Subject: Merry Christmas Everyone


Author:
The Mighty
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:24:30 12/24/02 Tue
Just to wish you all festive cheer. Me, Mill and Brighty cannot train on 29th owing to our rendez-vous in Manchester. A word of warning, dont open Marks green frog email, just made me feel sick and dont buy pegs off Rofts. Goodwill to all men, women and Ladyboys, see all who are not at the Oaklands new year on the 5th........
Subject: Sunday 29th game off


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 19:55:00 12/23/02 Mon
The game against Cherry on Sun 29th has been called off.

There will be training for those who want to run a bit of Turkey and £9.98 for 24 bottle Paul Weller off at Blacon High at 10.30.

See you there lads
Subject: Fixtures


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:47:33 12/20/02 Fri
As the website is out of commission (at least for a while) I will have to post news and stuff on here.

The next fixtures are

Sunday 29th December - Cherry Athletic (a) Saltney Comm Centre (meet 10.30am)

Sunday 5th January - Ship Inn (h) The Imps (meet 10am)

It is probably more important now than ever to ring or text me or Braz and tell us if you cant play.

Thanks
Replies:
Subject: One for the Main Man


Author:
The 501's
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:29:42 12/18/02 Wed
Nice to see the Jamie Harvey's out in force and doing the Business last night...
Replies:
Subject: Quiet


Author:
XP
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:23:12 12/18/02 Wed
Fuck me its quiet on here.

Am I to presume that Old Man Mella and Baggers have been arrested in dawn raids by the OB following info recieved from PervyWebcamChatRooms.com ?
Replies:
Subject: A joke


Author:
XP
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:48:32 12/18/02 Wed
A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"

The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the milkman for £500,000."

The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mum, would you have sex with the milkman for £500,000?" The mother replies: "Too bloody right I would!"

The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said "Too bloody right I would!" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her boss for £500,000."

The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your boss for £500,000?"

The sister replies: "Too bloody right I would!"

He returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Too bloody right I would!' " The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but in reality, we're skint, and we're just living with a couple of whores."
Subject: Painters honeymoon


Author:
XP
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:41:30 12/18/02 Wed
Steve Painter was telling his new wife the rules of the house and what he expected. He told her that if he said "ding", she was to meet him upstairs and they would make love. If he said "ding, ding", she was to run upstairs and they would make love. And if he said "ding, ding, ding", she was to drop whatever she was doing, run upstairs, and they would make love all night long.

One day, she was ironing his uniform, when she heard "ding, ding, ding" from upstairs, so she stopped ironing, ran up the stairs, ripped off her clothes, and started to make love to her husband.

Halfway through, she stopped him, and said "ding, ding, ding, ding!!" With a puzzled look on his face, he asked "what does that mean?"

To which she replied, "I NEED MORE HOSE!!"
Subject: What Stairmaster did on his holidays...


Author:
XP
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:39:48 12/18/02 Wed
Wish you were here!

<img src="http://www.clownfrown.com/images3/obese.jpg" align="center">
Subject: Boxing Day tickets


Author:
Rob
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:49:47 12/16/02 Mon
Afternoon...

Will be going to the Deva tomorrow to get Northwich tickets, but will have the bird in tow so can get two extras if anyone wants em...

Let us know before Luchtime tomoorow if you want any.

Cheers.
Replies:
Subject: Windows XP


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:48:39 12/14/02 Sat
Due to my computer completely chucking a wobbler this morning, I have had to completely reinstall Windows XP etc. This means I have lost the website, lost all my emails, contact addresses everything.

Before you ask Renns, I didn't do a back up. :(

Could you all just send me an email addy so's that I can update my address books.

Ta.

Mak
Replies:
Subject: 2*2=4, the amount of points we are ahead of you.


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 08:14:52 12/16/02 Mon
Oh dear....
Replies:
Subject: Message for Mill


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:16:22 12/14/02 Sat
email us the address for the 125's site?

I lost it when the computer went schizo...

Dont post it on here mate.

Ta.
Subject: sick joke


Author:
jimmy tarbuckteeth
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:00:40 12/13/02 Fri
What does an Elephant use as a vibrator?
An epileptic
Subject: Game Sunday


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:18:21 12/11/02 Wed
Sunday we are away at Westminster Park against the Shropshire Arms. Meet at 10.30am on the car park.

Cheers

Mak
Replies:
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