VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, [6] ]

LIVING THE DREAM

Losing the toss and missing doubles since 1998

A message board of distinction for the Egerton Arms Darts Club B-Troop and Chester City ISA FC

and the debauched proletariat thereof


Return to www.chestercityisafc.co.uk
Subject: Arrows is life.....


Author:
The Mighty
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:55:18 11/08/02 Fri
I dont care what anyone says, the buzz of the arrows beats it all. Thats why as many turn up nowadays than for the footy. Its adrenaline and team spirit. You never see the boys writing on the message board behind each others backs or anything. We cancel trips for the darts, we wouldnt arrange Amsterdam over a league match, mind you we are contenders and not happy with mid table battles....at least we respect the footie team and will cheer the darts target man representative to the hilt. We are not touchy just passionate..
Replies:
Subject: Millers Eight Rights Won Eight as Dee Miller Won One


Author:
NWAS the Tungsten Technician
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 00:52:34 11/06/02 Wed
The Rights lads left Blacon (which resembled the Gaza Strip on this, the loudest of all nights) a touch trepidous on their way to play the unknowns of Kingsway's Dee Miller. There were a number of reasons for this.

a) The Dee Miller were an unknown quantity

b) The lads had shown signs of ring rustiness in the opening 2 fixtures of the season

c) Tyler has been disrespecting the lads on the board, and he is a sporting God.

So when the lads went up (in order as good as my mind allows...) Big Cock Pete, Rofty, Daz, Big Burnsy and Goffy, nobody expected the game to be won. 5-0 up. Up steps Bulldog Coleman, new signing, who manages to score 1 with his second three darts, and gets tossed. Next up was me, NWAS, and I was shit. I spluttered my way to beating a girl on mads. 6-1 going into the Barneys.

Over hot dogs and pork pies, Brighty pulled out of the doubles at the last minute due to missing the board with all three darts in the warm up (he then made a mockery of this decision by throwing well back in the Rights later on...), so The Mighty and El Capitano obliterated the opposition for 7-1, and it was left for Daz 'Ultra' to close the match on D4 for 8-1 in his match with partner Mark Howcroft.

A great all round performance, and a return to winning in a certain style, as opposed to spluttering over the line like last week. Gold stars to Goffy and Leo who both came back from a ton down to finish well, and to Rofty who just blew his oppo away.

So Tyler, if you fancy you chances as Cock of the Oche, pull up at the Rights next Tuesday at 8.45pm. Those without nerves of steel, darts of tungsten and a little skill need not get off the couch. I get nervy playing footy, and it is possibly one tenth of what I feel getting up, on your own, in front of your team mates (who are depending on you and you alone), and stepping into the spotlight. Especially in somewhere like the Bouverie, or the Oddfellows, where it really is quite intimidating. Dont knock what you don't know mate. Were not all big bellied slobs. Only me, Neil, Mill, Goffy, Rofty and Brighty are. Big Cock, Bryan, Daz and Malam are quite slim ;-)

PS - The Rights will be moving to the Egerton in Blacon/Saughall in a couple of weeks. Can El Cap confirm when? From next season we will change the name. Better oche, friendlier pub and cheaper ale.
Replies:
Subject: chester/tranmere merger rumour?


Author:
Scott
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 01:12:40 11/04/02 Mon
conference side chester could merge with tranmere.

chester chairman steve vaughanconfirmed he has put an offer in on tranmere who are heavily in debt.

the observer claims that if vaughan was sucessful he wud move tranmere to the deva prior to vaughan carrying on merger plans.

Money used from selling prenton park would be used to develop the deva.

ripped straight from teletext page 307
Replies:
Subject: Another Glitter Joke


Author:
Northern Comic
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:58:33 11/04/02 Mon
Cliff Richard, Chubby Brown and Gary Glitter on a plane, suddenly the pilot announces the plane is about to crash, everyone brace themselves.

Cliff Richard without hesitation shouts "Save The Kids"

To Which Chubby Brown replies "Fuck The Kids"

Gary Glitter then says "Have we got time ?"
Subject: Weak Joke


Author:
Rob
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 14:28:30 11/03/02 Sun
Apparently the FA were plotting to get rid of Sven and have Gary Glitter as England manager.

The plan fell through when it was thought that Mr. Glitter may try to put Seaman into the schoolboy team.

I'll get me coat...
Replies:
Subject: Congratulations....well I never


Author:
Saltney Taffia
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:26:42 11/03/02 Sun
well done lads must have been a great performance with only 11 turning out for the blues

who played and where was everyone else? The taffia take a weekend off and everything goes to pot!!! What happened to 25 being signed on!!!

who scored?

Maybe 11 should turn up every week...

Where is anon today?
Replies:
Subject: DARTS


Author:
The Mighty
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:59:19 10/31/02 Thu
Come and take on any member of the rights side for cash if theres not much to it Tyler.
Replies:
Subject: WELL I NEVER FELT MORE LIKE SINGING THE BLUES


Author:
MELLOR
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 18:49:02 11/03/02 Sun
TURNED UP AT TATTENHALL AFTER LOADS OF RAIN PITCH IN GREAT NICK.NO SELECTION PROBLEMS TODAY FOR PB AS THERE WERE ONLY ELEVEN TO CHOOSE FROM.WITH AFEW LADS AWAY THE ONES WHO PLAYED DID A GREAT JOB WITH GOOD PERFORMANCES FROM THE TWO SCOTTS BURNSY (ALSO MOM)SIMON GREENY AND THE TEAM AS A WHOLE. A GOOD 4-3 WIN WELL DONE LADS.
Subject: Greetings from Amsterdam


Author:
Saltney Taffia
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 23:12:46 11/02/02 Sat
Just a quick message from Amsterdam. Sorry we wont be at the game tomorrow, but prior engagements and all...
Replies:
Subject: FOOTIE ON OR OFF?


Author:
MELLOR
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 14:52:04 11/01/02 Fri
Whats the crack jack is the game on or off sunday ?
Subject: pig sick of it


Author:
anon
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:44:06 10/31/02 Thu
WEEK IN WEEK OUT STANDING ON THE LINE FOR THE SO CALLED GREAT BUNCH OF LADS. <i>Irish bloke</i> A <i>starter, singles and doubles</i> PLEASE GOD TELL THE MANAGER THE TRUTH, 50 YEAR-OLD IN THE <i>singles</i> "CHRIST" HE CAN ONLY JUST WALK UPRIGHT <i>the big cocked twat</i>. THE TEAMS A CLICK AND THE MAIN MAN AINT GOT A BRIAN WE <i>will soon be</i> OUT OF ALL THE CUPS AND SLIDING DOWN THE LEAGUE FOR FUCK SAKE GIVE <i>Maka and Bryan</i> A CHANCH
Replies:
Subject: FAO: Mr Cage


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:18:55 10/28/02 Mon
Just checked, if you are thinking of coming with us I reckon you are looking at about Ģ60. Not bad if you ask me. That's just for the flights though. I'll phone you later.
Replies:
Subject: Website update


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:16:25 10/31/02 Thu
I have updated the website with new fixtures and a new Tyler column. Due to me having a few probs with Freeserve, I wont be updating it for a while (the weather is helping this though!).

Keep coolio.

PS - Tyler, I don't care if you smoke the beef mate. Diff'rent spices for diff'rent mices.
Subject: Barrymore Pantomime Cancelled


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:38:01 10/31/02 Thu
Michael Barrymore has today cancelled his Christmas pantomime. It would appear that Barrymore had already done Aladdin earlier this year.
Subject: Name the programme?


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:23:22 10/27/02 Sun
"Everywhere you go, everything you see/Someone's saying no, it's a tragedy/Find another place, 'cos you can't play 'ere/Don't want any lip, so there!/Y'know it's gonna be alright if we stick together/We're gonna have a fine, fine time if we stick together/No more mindless empty days..."

A Lazer bar to the winner.
Replies:
Subject: Back up and Running


Author:
The Max
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:51:32 10/30/02 Wed
Eight Rights darts Homepage. thankfully back up and running at www.intheteam.com/eightrights
Replies:
Subject: anon


Author:
intrigued
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 00:15:51 10/23/02 Wed
is anon really TH using AH`s computer while he`s away work it out!!!!!
Replies:
  • Re: anon -- Tyler Durden, 10:20:00 10/23/02 Wed
    • Re: anon -- KENDODD, 14:05:56 10/27/02 Sun
      • Re: anon -- Xander Cage, 11:46:11 10/28/02 Mon
        • Re: anon -- KENDODD, 17:31:11 10/28/02 Mon
          • Re: anon -- Xander Cage, 08:52:04 10/29/02 Tue
            • Re: anon -- KENDODD, 17:57:09 10/29/02 Tue
              • Re: anon -- Tyler Durden, 10:25:21 10/30/02 Wed
Subject: A Gag


Author:
Northern Comic
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:21:51 10/29/02 Tue
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to have dinner with her parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl told her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boyfor about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about
condoms and sex.

At the counter, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms 3-pack, 10-pack, or a family pack.

"I'm REALLY going to give it to this girl," the boy tells the pharmacist. "I intend to plug every orifice in her body at LEAST twice!!"

The pharmacist, with a laugh, suggests the family pack, saying the boy will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where
the girl's parents are seated.

The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minutepasses, and the boy is still deep in prayer with his head down. 10 minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans overand whispers to the boyfriend,
"I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a fucking pharmacist!!"
Subject: Training in Hurricane season


Author:
Michael Fish
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:12:09 10/27/02 Sun
All of you lot who asked for training, this morning... Have you fuckin seen the weather out there !!!! It's mental and reminds me of Hurricane Alley in Carolina.

Next time before you have any bright ideas and come on this Board with them, check with the Met Office First
Replies:
Subject: Peter Kay


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:30:22 10/23/02 Wed
For those wondering, all I know is that Painter booked the Peter Kay tickets on Monday. As far as I am aware, those going thus far are me, Painter, Kev Thomas and Andy Johnson. Painter has a further 8 tickets which he ordered at Macca's request. How Macca arrived at this figure we don't know, and who they are for we don't know either. Hopefully Mark can sort it out when he is next on the board.

To answer the question from below though, it is only a few that are going, due to the number of tickets available.

PS. Who is responsible for letting that ISA reject [you know you you are] run riot on the board?
Replies:
  • Legend -- Xander Cage, 11:29:00 10/25/02 Fri
  • Re: Peter Kay -- Oochie Minger, 17:14:44 10/27/02 Sun
Subject: PK for 8, xXx (!)


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 14:13:25 10/25/02 Fri
Me, Janelle, Neil, Susan, Lee, Jeanette, Paul and Emma. I thought I'd sent an email, but been away all week.

I don't know who anon is, but fuck me he's good for business, this board has never been as busy.

As for you TD, comparing that jumped up redneck sherman knob with the Bondage, you want electrotherapy my friend. To use your equation technique...

James Bond = Vincent Vega
xXx = The Gimp

Chester City = David Dickinson (A little charm and a lot of style, an acquired taste)

Manchester United = Ulrika Jonnson (Sexyish, but maybe past their peak, and everyones into her)

Liverpool = Barrymore (...ahem)

Wrexham AFC = Foul sheepshagging poundstretcher shopping inbred celebrity. Maybe Matthew Kelly. Or Duncan Norvelle.
Replies:
Subject: why don't we train if there ain't no match?


Author:
scotty
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 00:52:30 10/26/02 Sat
if the match is off, we shud ave training if we can get a few down on the astro of something?

if not i'll just get rat-arsed saturday night!!!!!!
Subject: Game off


Author:
Mellor
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 18:55:43 10/25/02 Fri
No traing as well i take it chaps ?????.
Subject: Game OFF Sunday


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:33:48 10/25/02 Fri
Had a phone call from the League today, the game on Sunday is off due to the City Council calling all of their pitches waterlogged.

Next week we are away at Tattenhall. Drive into Tattenhall, pass the school on the left, keep going to the T junction (you will see the Sportsmans pub in front of you on the left). Turn left and the ground is 150 yards up on the right. See you all there at 10.30. If you could let those who are not yet in the 21st Century know.

Thanks

Maka
Subject: Peter Kay


Author:
Custodian
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:12:06 10/22/02 Tue
Maybe I missed something on Sunday but whats the Jim Coor with the Peter Kay tickets?

Are the whole team going, just a few or selected chaps only?

Help appreciated.

Cheers
Replies:
Subject: More than coincidental !.


Author:
Mellor
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:38:10 10/25/02 Fri
I see Mellor scored yet again for liverpool reserves
Subject: Painters tits


Author:
Painter
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:43:57 10/24/02 Thu
Hello Bob! If you want to compare tits come and see me sunday morning so we can check.
Replies:
Subject: HE IS GETTING WHAT HE WANTS


Author:
JUST SOMEONE
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:51:51 10/23/02 Wed
ON READING ALL THAT IS BEING PUBLISHED ON THIS SITE THE NAME ANON SEEMS TO BE GETTING WHAT HE WANTS, THAT IS THE REST OF THE SQUAD MEMBERS POINTING THE FINGER AT EACH OTHER.
I THINK YOU SHOULD ALL IGNORE THIS PERSON BEFORE HE DOES CAUSE SOME FRICTION BETWEEN WHO EVER IS PART OF YOUR FOOTBALL TEAM.
Replies:
Subject: why so quiet?


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:13:28 10/24/02 Thu
Come on Tyler, post something good. I'm bored.
Replies:
Subject: As requested... [a bit piss poor thoguh I must admint]


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:06:33 10/24/02 Thu
An old man was sitting on a bench, when a young man walked up and sat down next to him. The young man had spiked hair in all different colours red, green yellow orange and blue.

The old man just stared. Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically....." Whats the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life"

Without batting an eye, the old man replied," Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot ... I was just wondering if you were my son"
Subject: My two cents


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:30:57 10/20/02 Sun
Regarding what Custodian posted below, and to certain extent what 'anon' replied. Today was the first time I got up on a Sunday in two years and didn't want to go. Even during the first season, when we got mullered week in, week out, we stuck together. The occasional barney on the pitch was met by a quiet apology after and a pint in the bar where everything bar mistakes were mentioned.

What have we got now? Some internet warrior in the changing rooms who thinks he should be in the team (who doesn't think they should be? You wouldn't bother otherwise) slagging off people just because they are getting picked ahead of them. Slagging off a lad who gets up at 7am to get a train to Chester from Liverpool to come and pick a team that he has only played twice for so far this season, because he hasn't picked him. I would go back to that first season NOW, even if it meant having to apply for re-election, if it meant getting back to the original spirit of the Club.

Braz picks the team. End of story. As Custodian said, if you don't like getting dropped, ask him why to his face. If he doesn't think you are going to start, he will tell you. They don't come much nicer than Paul, which is possibly his biggest failing. He will give you a reason (when really he doesn't and shouldn't ever have to justify any of his decisions) why. As has been said before, on here and at various games, if you don't like having to fight for a place feel free to bring me a transfer form. I will happily sign it. I would ask you to stop slagging everyone off and creating tensions that the Club, and the team, do not need.

As stated below, I will tell Paul who has played well, and who has played less well, and who was shit (ahem!). Scott Morgans was superb today, Neil did well, and Burnsy is quality. Mellor did OK for someone who 'can only just walk upright' (still can't believe one of his mates, or team mates, said that behind his back). Others were not so good. The subs both did well when they came on. It will all go back.

On a more positive note, if we keep playing like we did today we will win (or draw!) more games than we lose. A bit more quality on the final ball, and a bit more cool in front of goal and we are as good a team as any we have played so far. Cheer up Anon, think about what I said about talking to Paul. His number was posted below, ring him. Let's put all the slating behind us and get back to enjoying the game. Again.
Replies:
Subject: NO, Tyler!


Author:
Thierry Henry
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:41:37 10/23/02 Wed
Tyler Durden, how dare you criticise Manchester United! You havn't won the league for fucking ages, in fact have you ever won the league? I can't remember.

My good friends Fabien and Laurent play for Man U and while they may be taking an absence of leave from the title of 'Premiership Champions'(thanks to me and my arrogance), they'll sure as hell get back there before you're team of losers.

You havn't won the league for fucking ages, in fact have you ever won the league? I can't remember.

You are a team of Senegalese, oops, sorry, French rejects.

You havn't won the league for fucking ages, in fact have you ever won the league? I can't remember.

You havn't won the league for fucking ages, in fact have you ever won the league? I can't remember.

You havn't won the league for fucking ages, in fact have you ever won the league? I can't remember.

Loser!!!!!
Replies:
Subject: Get me out of here!!!!


Author:
Roberto Carlos
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:40:35 10/22/02 Tue
Bloody hell! sounds like you lot have been having fun! just thought i should inform you that i have had enough of the Madrid life and could see myself being very happy in chester, if at all possible could i have your managerīs number so my agent can arrange a deal, also i donīt mind if i am on the bench at first but will hope to establish myself quickly, please let me know as soon as possible cheers.
Replies:
Subject: The real question


Author:
Bob
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:52:09 10/23/02 Wed
The real question is not who ANON is but whether or not Steve Painters bitch tits are as big as mine. Answers on a postcard please....
Subject: Always on the net!


Author:
Mellor
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 19:51:15 10/22/02 Tue
Rens you glued to your pc chair???????????
Replies:
Subject: Steve Painter or Tyler


Author:
Mill
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:52:25 10/22/02 Tue
Hi, been away in Spain and missed the sale of the Peter Kay Tickets... Having just got back today, was wondering is there is any still going Via "tout Painter" ? If Tyler or Steve can let me know,

Cheers
Replies:
Subject: Stormy in the North... Karma in the South


Author:
Mill
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 14:15:43 10/22/02 Tue
I go away for a while, and it seems as though the team Spirit follows me !!! What's going on, on here... It's more like Deva Chat with everyone bickering like this.

Do we know who Anon is yet, and what about Baggio who is that ?? and also why only 14 there on Sunday !!! From 23 odd a few weeks ago to just 14, have a few of the lads come out early in sympathy for Steve Painter and his Fire Crew.
Replies:
Subject: make your mind up


Author:
view from the dugout
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:33:06 10/22/02 Tue
baggio , more sides to his face than a 50-pence piece.
Replies:
Subject: team spirit


Author:
baggio
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 00:13:02 10/22/02 Tue
unlucky sunday boys it will happen...if we stick together.
anon look at the line when you are at the next game your not the only lad on the bench, have you had your kit taken off you half way though a game yet like me ? so embarrassing but i still show every week. its not nice when lads turn up after not being there the week before and go into team but if thats how it is so be it,slagging off team mates wont do you any favours,when you get your chance take it,i've been asked by other sides last cpl of weeks but never left a side into a season and dont intend starting hope to prove myself on the pitch get behind the lads not against them.....
come on the ISA if we turned our draws to wins where would we be in the table ????? its not as bad as it looks boys it will happen HAV'IT !!!!!!!!
Subject: Come on then...


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:47:15 10/18/02 Fri
NWAS, NWAS, NWAS, name and shame NWAS? Who is the real NWAS? You, me, neither, who knows. Will the real NWAS please stand up...
Replies:
Subject: THE TRUTH MUST BE TOLD


Author:
anon
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 18:38:01 10/18/02 Fri
YES SORRY ABOUT THE"BRIAN NOT "BRAIN SLIP OF THE HAND,BUT IT STILL DOES NOT HIDE THE FACT THAT OUR FORWARD HA! HA! IS STILL FAT AND CANNOT RUN OR JUMP AND ONLY GETS A SHIRT COS HE`S THE MAIN MAN. THINK ABOUT THE TEAM AND NOT YOURSELF GREEDY FUCK. D.MEL GET REAL LADS BEFORE ITS TO LATE.
Replies:
  • Oh dear -- Greedy Fuck, 20:12:20 10/18/02 Fri
  • What a dick -- Diego Tristan, 10:16:45 10/21/02 Mon
Subject: Two pennies worth...


Author:
Custodian
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:30:05 10/20/02 Sun
It's not very enjoyable playing for the ISA moment with the constant back biting. I have played for the ISA since the beginning and we have never had a problem with morale before and I expect us to come through this stick patych stronger than before.

To echo Tyler's sentiments, nobody likes standing on the line every week or missing out and everybody obviously feels that they should be starting. It's only natural and I am sure Braz wouldn't be happy if everybody just accepted it. We had 14 players today for whatever reason and everbody got a game. But if Brazier decides to change it around next week then so be it.

Scott Morgans picked up man of the match, Paul Burns was outstanding and the team as a whole played well. NWAS will speak with Braz this week about today's game and from that conversation Brazier will pick his best team from those players available next week. If I am dropped next week then I will be gutted, but the best thing to do is speak to Braz and ask why? He's a nice honest guy and always tries his best.

We don't need people posting nasty, offensive and silly messages under Pseudonyms.

Let's start playing football and winning. Enjoy it.
Replies:
Subject: THE TRUTH MUST BE TOLD


Author:
ANON
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:33:10 10/19/02 Sat
THANKS FOR THE TIP "NWAS", BUT YOU STILL CANNOT DENY THE FACT THAT SOME PLAYERS NAMES OUR ON THE TEAM SHEET EVERY WEEK DESPITE HOW ,FAT,OLD,CRAP,OVER-THE-HILL,SHITE THE WEEK BEFORE THEY ARE. ALL I AM SAYING IS PEOPLE DESERVE A CHANCH AND THEY OR WE WONT GET IT SITTING ON THE BENCH EVERY F--KING WEEK. AND IT`S NOT THAT I DONT LIKE CERTAIN PEOPLE IT`S JUST PLAIN FACT YES DESPITE HOW MUCH YOU HATE THE WORD FACT. PS PLEASE DONT TRY AND TELL ME THAT THE TEAM IS NOT A CLICK COS YOU WOULD NOT ONLY ON THE VERY LARGE SIZE YOU WOULD ALSO BE A VERY BAD FIBBER. I DO HOPE YOU TAKE THIS LIKE A MAN AND DO NOT GO ALL CHILDISH ON ME.
Replies:
Subject: Easy tiger...


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:11:29 10/17/02 Thu
Tyler, oh Tyler, you do bite.
Replies:
Subject: pig sick of it


Author:
anon
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:09:16 10/17/02 Thu
WEEK IN WEEK OUT STANDING ON THE LINE FOR THE SO CALLED GREAT BUNCH OF LADS. FAT LAD A STRIKER 90mins PLEASE GOD TELL THE MANAGER THE TRUTH, 50 YEAR-OLD IN THE BACK 4 "CHRIST" HE CAN ONLY JUST WALK UPRIGHT THE TEAMS A CLICK AND THE MAIN MAN AINT GOT A BRIAN WE ARE OUT OF ALL THE CUPS AND SLIDING DOWN THE LEAGUE FOR FUCK SAKE GIVE SOME OTHER LADS A CHANCH
Replies:
Subject: cold,wet & pissed off !!!!!!!


Author:
baggio
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 03:16:56 10/18/02 Fri
well the shit weather is coming, lads turn up week in week out, some lads dont but still walk into side whats going on guys. lads on line will soon stay away bad weather here soon. nobody wants to play 2nd, 3rd or 4th best to part timers who show up when they feel like....
Subject: From BBCi news website


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:32:21 10/17/02 Thu
A rape trial has collapsed after some of the jury members watched a darts match on television instead of considering a verdict.
Judge Paul Hoffman was forced to order a re-trail at York Crown Court after it was revealed that some of the 12-strong jury had not joined in part of the deliberations.

The eight men and four women were due to deliver a verdict on 19-year-old Phillip James Nicholas who is accused of raping a 27-year-old woman in her front garden.

The Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) has called the situation "frustrating" and criticised the jury.

This is extremely frustrating. The thing you have to consider is the witnesses we have brought to court

A spokeswoman for the Lord Chancellor's Department said on Saturday: "The trial did collapse yesterday at York as a result of the jurors who were watching television in the jury deliberation room.

"The judge decided it wasn't primarily because they were watching certain programmes but because he had asked them all to deliberate together.

"Some weren't involved in the deliberation proceedings and the judge felt he couldn't continue with the trial."

A CPS spokesman said: "This is extremely frustrating. The thing you have to consider is the witnesses we have brought to court.

"They have been inconvenienced, it is a traumatic experience giving evidence in court and they are most likely to have to go through it all again."

It is not known whether or not the alleged victim gave evidence during the original proceedings.

The situation came to light as the court prepared to restart proceedings after a lunchtime adjournment.

The jury foreman, who was questioned on exactly what had taken place in the jury deliberation room, confirmed that some members of the jury had watched the local news and the Embassy World Darts Championship.

The judge said his concern was not the programmes the jury had seen, but the fact parts of the case had been discussed while not all the jury members were present.

He described the situation as "very irregular", adding: "I have never come across such a case within 40 years of practice."

Television removed

York Crown Court is unusual in that there is only one room available for jury members.

It acts as both a jury waiting room and a deliberation room.

A television set had been put in the room to ease the boredom of waiting for a trial to start or during arduous legal arguments when the jury must wait outside the courtroom.

On this occasion, jurors were able to use the television during deliberation - a time when they should have no contact with the outside world.

The spokeswoman for the Lord Chancellor's Department added: "The television has been removed to prevent this ever happening again."

The cost to the taxpayer of the trial's collapse was believed to have cost more than Ģ34,000.

The date for the retrial has been set for 7 May 2002.

<i>It's a national obsession!!</i>
Subject: The great man speaks


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:31:24 10/17/02 Thu
This is a must for all CCFC fans. The man is, like, God.

"When you have a person of this calibre, with the experience he’s got, with the temperament and nasty little streak he has in him, it’s only healthy for Chester City Football Club."
Stephen Vaughan on Mark Wright.
Replies:
Subject: I've got another one...


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:01:26 10/17/02 Thu
Q: What is black and slides down Nelson's column?

A: Winne Mandela
Subject: Is somebody having a laugh?


Author:
The Narrator
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:15:02 10/16/02 Wed
Why all of a sudden has Tyler Durden come under such intense scrutiny? Not sure exactly who "Marla Singer" is but the reply from "Tyler Durden" is clearly fake, although the sentiments are surprisingly accurate. Leave him alone, its not his fault that he is on course to be the ISA's top-scorer and top journalist of the year. Jealous, jealous, jealous. Curb your jealousy.

PS. I haven't even piped up yet.

And to finish...

Q: What's the difference between a fox and a dog?

A: About 8 pints of lager.
Replies:
Subject: You're not the only one


Author:
Marla Singer
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:15:45 10/16/02 Wed
Ok Mr. Durden, as i said earlier, pipe down. You're not the only gayboy at the club, there's plenty more.
Subject: Prick


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:13:20 10/16/02 Wed
Who are you calling a gayboy, prick. Why not just say who you really are. You're probably that Beverly Hills tosser.
Subject: Gayboy


Author:
Marla Singer
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:55:15 10/16/02 Wed
Tyler, you are a gayboy. Pipe down.
Subject: What's going on!!!


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:08:36 10/15/02 Tue
I take a few days off work and leave the luxury of my PC for a short time and return to find some tit, "Beverly Hills Cock", largin' it. Whassupwitdat???

Perhaps the aforementioned could confirm their real identity and I could write a critique on their performances thus far this season. I digress.

NWAS, I'll write a new article next week, too knackered this week.
Replies:
Subject: With that said [and noted], I present the following joke...


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:11:11 10/15/02 Tue
Subject: Heaven

It was getting a little crowded in heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that in order to get into heaven, you had to have a real bummer of a day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.

The next day at 12:01, the first person comes to the gates of heaven.

The angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly says to the man,

"Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."

"No problem," the man says. "I came home to my 25th floor apartment in my lunch hour and caught my wife half-naked and appearing to be having an affair, but her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy!

'Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, the lucky bastard landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 storeys and crushed him!
The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly.'

The angel sits back and thinks for a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the angel announces, 'OK sir.

Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,' and lets him in. A few seconds later the next guy comes up. 'Before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you died.'

The man says, 'No problem. But you're not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side!

'Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom that broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move, and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator of all things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly.'

The angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story.

'I could get used to this new policy,' he thinks to himself. 'Very well,'the angel announces, 'welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,' and he lets the man enter.

A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel is warming up to his task. 'OK, please tell me what sought of a day you were having when you died' the angel says.

The third man says, "Alright, picture this. I'm naked inside this refrigerator. . ."

[Not necessarily offensive, but funny in my humble opinion]
Subject: A little jokey


Author:
Tom Dale, King of the Callers
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:20:19 10/14/02 Mon
Jim went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family including his mother-in-law. During their vacation while they were visiting Jerusalem, Jim's mother-in-law sadly passed away.

With the death certificate clutched in his hand, Jim went to the British Consulates office to make the neccessary arrangements to send the body back to Blighty for a proper burial.

The Consul, after hearing of the sad demise of Jims mother-in-law, told him that the sending of a body back to the UK for burial is very, very expensive. "It could cost as much as $5,000.00." The Consul continues, "in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here. This would only cost $150.00."

Jim thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back, that's what I want to do."

The Consul, after hearing this, says "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much considering the difference in price."

"No, it's not that," says Jim. "You see, I know the story of a bloke that was buried here in Jerusalem many years ago. On the third day he arose from the dead and I'm just not willing to take that fucking chance..."
Subject: lazy, lazy, lazy


Author:
Edwina Curry
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:32:56 10/14/02 Mon
After coming to watch an ISA game the other week, i have to say that i expected more, mind you i often come away from things expecting more (maybe i'm just a hard woman to please). Certain players are displaying no passion and workrate these days, you know who you are. Buck up and start playing. I may then re-new my season ticket.
Subject: "Cafe bars, Idiots and Pigeons. There's far too many in this town"


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:45:53 10/13/02 Sun
So wrote the wonderful Half Man Half Biscuit. A line that could have been crafted fucking perfectly for Chester.

OK, the website has had a lot of work done on it tonight. I have resurrected some old contributors (who would do OK with an update from their authors??), I have dug up some old match reports that I lost when my old hard drive fried, I have put a couple of bits on from when we first started out in the old days of 1999...

Worth a look, if just to see how bad we were when we got beat 7-2 away at Bulls Head...

Hope you enjoy it. Comments welcome.
Subject: Fixtures up and stats updated


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:51:30 10/13/02 Sun
The next few weeks fixtures are up, and the stats have been updated on the website.

Click on the Sunday, Muddy Sunday link above
Subject: Tyler


Author:
Beverly Hills Cock
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:50:54 10/12/02 Sat
Tyler tomorrow is a big game, a cup tie, and I think you should know that when you're sloping off to bed at 9.30pm coz you care about what happens tomorrow, half your teamates are gonna be out in town eating dodgy Chinese and drinking over priced beer.

You can do it though Tyler, you can take the team through to the next round on your own. We have faith in you
Replies:
  • Re: Tyler -- Look Who's Porking, 20:38:04 10/13/02 Sun
Subject: OUT OF ALL CUPS


Author:
MELLOR
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 19:15:01 10/13/02 Sun
Out of all cups now great maybe we can get our heads together a bit and start getting afew points in the league.
Replies:
Subject: Sunday


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:53:55 10/10/02 Thu
We are at home on Sunday against Waverton in the Chester FA Cup.

See you all at the Imps at 10am.
Subject: Website updated


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:16:11 10/04/02 Fri
You lot are bleeding spoiled. The website has been updated, although I have not yet been arsed writing a match report (Mill? Mellor? help...?) all the stats and news are updated.

There is also a new column by Tyler Durden which is very interesting.

Happy reading.
Replies:
Subject: Peter Kay


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:00:10 10/06/02 Sun
According to the severly damaged Peter Kay website, the great man will be announcing more dates soon for 2003. Who is up for a Club trip???
Subject: Also...


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:51:05 10/03/02 Thu
Are we still due to be playing at home in the cup this week? Who against? Can't remember being told any arrangements last week.
Replies:
Subject: League Tables...


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:27:15 10/02/02 Wed
Does anyone know when the leagues tables are going to be published? According to the Evening Leader website, ROB Frodsham are top of Section C. Does this mean that no one in our league has a 100% win record?
Replies:
Subject: Eight Rights Winter League fixtures


Author:
Mungo Chutney
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:06:48 09/30/02 Mon
22-10 Egerton Arms (A)
29-10 Highfield (H)
05-11 Dee Miller (A)
12-11 Coach and Horses (H)
19-11 Cherry Orchard (A)
26-11 Glynne Arms (H)
03-12 Stanley Arms (A)
10-12 Upton RBL (A)
17-12 White Horse (H)
14-01 Egerton Arms (H)
21-01 Highfield (A)
04-02 Dee Miller (H)
11-02 Coach and Horses (A)
18-02 Cherry Orchard (H)
25-02 Glynne Arms (A)
04-03 Stanley Arms (H)
11-03 Upton RBL (H)
18-03 White Horse (A)

There will be a full update of the Eight Rights Homepage
as soon as I can log on again and update pages. There is
currently technical problems at the hosts end which means
I cannot get on and update anything

Cheers
Replies:
Subject: sunday footy


Author:
tizza
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 18:18:47 09/29/02 Sun
THE HIGHFIELD FC 5 -- THE PEACOCK FC 3
Replies:
Subject: Good to finally....


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 14:58:11 09/29/02 Sun
...finally get a win under our belts.

Not the prettiest of second halves, but the spirit and the fight could not be faulted.

Well done boys.

NWAS - living the ISA nightmare
Subject: barrymore joke


Author:
edmundo
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 18:54:15 09/28/02 Sat
heard m.barrymore`s new single yet "fisting by the pool"
Subject: WEBSITE UPDATED


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:43:07 09/28/02 Sat
The website was updated yesterday. All this seasons match reports, pix from Saltney Ferry game, etc. Still waiting for some contribs from TBG, el Capitano, Tyler, etc...
Subject: CON KEV


Author:
Kev Thomas
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:45:27 09/22/02 Sun
Thats right never off duty.
Replies:
Subject: An interesting start to the season


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:38:03 09/18/02 Wed
An interesting start to the season, yet to get a win under the belts, but I wouldn't be suprised if someone got a caning one of these days. Very interesting to see the reaction of one or two who had become complacent winning week after week, when we actually get beat. We have all got to loosen up and start to enjoy playing, not bicker with each other.

Sunday was better, no bickering, but our lack of fitness definately showed. For 75 minutes it was a pleasure to watch and be a part of. Let's get that back for Sunday (now versus The Bache Athletic in the Cup at the Imps) and start playing it around.

So thats it really. Stop moaning and enjoy your football. You know it makes sense.

What happened last night to the Rights could happen to anybody. Enough said.
Replies:
Subject: The Website


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:40:48 09/18/02 Wed
The website will be updated tonight (wife allowing), so if anybody fancies writing something witty and sharp, feel free. I will be attempting to do an update every Wed night during the season so Wed tea time is cut off for submissions.

Peace, love and Duff
Replies:
Subject: highfield fc


Author:
tizza
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:05:18 09/16/02 Mon
the highfield 2 -- grove arms 1 THEY DON`T LIKE IT UP UM. HAV-IT
Replies:
Subject: Sunday Footy


Author:
Kev Thomas
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:46:06 09/16/02 Mon
We played extremely well on Sunday for 70 minutes then we tired, me especially 2 weeks in Greece caught up with me.

I have hit the gym hard again today and as the weeks go on we will definately win more than we lose with all of us getting match fit.

(we didn`t have as many pre season friendlies this year unlike other years so it will take a little longer for us to get going but when we do)
Replies:
Subject: Burnsey


Author:
The Mighty
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:34:00 09/12/02 Thu
Forgot to mention, best man on the park the other night. Also turned up looking as smart as Ruffer to watch the boys in the arrows, showered and ship shape.
Subject: Join the Rights, scale the heights!!!


Author:
The Mighty
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:30:55 09/12/02 Thu
Come on the ISA lads why all the long faces, arguing, moaning the other night. Probably cost us the one nil to be honest. Chin up we'll win more than we lose. Funny to mention winning more than u lose cos the contrast in team spirit shown in the darts afterwards was enormous. Preperations were hampered by the captain and secretary propping up the line at the Imps and some star studded names of Howcroft, Goughy and myself were early victims. A spirited fightback was the story of the night though. Hats off to Malam slinging a 180 and then poking in double 6 to keep us in. The Captain then won after his worse leg 4 a while and wins for the Ultra and a full on display from Leo Burns took us into a 4 - 3 lead going into chips. Some hungry buggers in there so we were glad Brian and Scott had gone in search of Stella and a kip on the couch. Ditch had a bottom lip on the floor after footie, he need to learn to relax and start tickling tungsten. Daz and Paul kicked off the doubles, led all the way but were beaten by a sharp opposition finish. The last leg saw Goughy in his fourth match decider. Lee and Steve bullied the leg and Goughy hit tops under the pressure he had so recently been unable to overcome. Well done lads 5-4. 2 Games to go before a beer stained end of season and winter league promotion push.
Subject: 3 - 3 drama, The Rights are every f**kin where!!!


Author:
The Mighty
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:13:29 09/09/02 Mon
Pleasure to see us in close games I reckon.Winning every week was fun but I reckon we could get some really good games in this year. Only the darts element will be able to handle the close game pressures though. They are used to wiping the sweat from the brow to secure a double top. We want Miller, we want Miller. ALL WE ARE SAYING IS GIVE HIM A FORM!!!!
Subject: thank you


Author:
chesters top boy ?
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 23:21:45 09/08/02 Sun
ta macca for that address its a good site
Subject: ISA mid table I'm afraid


Author:
Lee Miller
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 14:30:42 09/06/02 Fri
I don't care who is good in section C cos we arnet. We're shite.
Replies:
Subject: The Season Ahead...


Author:
Young Kenny
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:08:14 09/06/02 Fri
Interesting results this week and to follow Tyler's comments MBNA look pretty nifty. They put five past the Shrop on Tuesday but if we had performed against them like we did on Sunday we could have had double figures.

Some of the sides from Section C last year could be the ones to watch and Sunday should be a good test. I've no doubt we are good enough to go up and even sustain a title challenge.

On another note, interesting comments in tonights Leader about local players nipping up the coast on Saturdays to earn a little bit of wedge. You can't blame the players but the local leagues certainly seem to be suffering. Also worth bearing in mind that those players who play in Wales are only really left with Saltney Ferry as a Sunday option, seems a little unfair on the other clubs.

Nice snapshots in the Leader aswell. Tommy Hollinger looking menacing and me, well frankly, fat. Still, Sarnie really seems to have taken to the new trend of slimline continental fit football shirts. Too much Carling me thinks...

Another tip top edition of Phoenix Nights this week. Also, keep and eye open for Meet Ricky Gervais on Fridays (C4 about 10.00) - the man is a genius!
Subject: My CV


Author:
Spencer
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:05:01 09/06/02 Fri
<i>"Not only have I seen the film Cocktail six times, I also was once an inn-keeper in Bethlehem, in St Peter and Paul's ground-breaking production of the nativity. Not only did I give Mary and Joseph room at the inn but I also offered bathroom en-suite, a full English and a lovely view of Galilee."</i>
Replies:
Subject: Another joke


Author:
RayVonne
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:55:05 09/06/02 Fri
A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?", says the 7 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing."

The 4 year old nods his head in approval. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?" "Ok, Ok" the 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast. "Oh, shit mum, I guess I'll have some Coco Pops" WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.

She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man????"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but it won't be f*cking Coco Pops."
Subject: Evening Leader...


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:39:54 09/05/02 Thu
Just bought today's Leader with the ISA pictures in. Shame they have cocked up the print of the photo and spelt some names wrong. You can't have everything I suppose. Good old Sarnie though hey?

Looking at some of the results from our section, MBNA look pretty good, as do Ship Inn. Team Boot look like they will struggle, having conceeded 19 goals in 2 games.
Subject: A joke


Author:
RayVonne
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:46:13 09/04/02 Wed
A Dublin girl is pregnant, and when her waters break she calls her mum.

"Mam, mam, Oi tink me waters have broken" she screams down the phone

"Calm down love" says the mum, "now, just where are you ringing from?"

"From me fanny to me feet mam!" replied the girl
Subject: highfield fc


Author:
tizza
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:40:03 09/02/02 Mon
THE HIGHFIELD 3-- LACHE 3. 3-0 UP WE WERE AFTER HALF HOUR
Replies:
Subject: ISA Vs. Saltney Ferry


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:10:41 09/02/02 Mon
All in all a damn good performance by the lads yesterday. Not even I can moan about it. It's fair to say that we acquitted ourselves well against a side who will likely win Section B this season. They certainly didn't embarrase us. We can also take heart from the fact that there will be plenty of Section B teams that Saltney Ferry play this season who won't come away with such a good result - we even had them rattled for most of the second half at 3-2. Im-fucking-pressive stuff.
Subject: Down get down after today...


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:54:48 09/01/02 Sun
...there was grit, determination and quality all over our side today. Great fight, and unlucky not to equalise twice against a side unbeaten for 2 seasons. We won't be up against quality players like them every week, but when we are we shouldn't be scared of it.
Replies:
Subject: Shropshire


Author:
T.M
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:31:29 08/29/02 Thu
0 f**cking 0. Don't think Its heard of at that level, especially pre season.
Replies:
Subject: Eight Rights Website


Author:
Stat Man
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 00:16:17 08/30/02 Fri
Nowhere near as flash as this. Basic but worth a look, the new Eight Rights Darts teams Website can be found at the following address:

<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.intheteam.com/home/home.asp?ClubId=3157">http://www.intheteam.com/home/home.asp?ClubId=3157</a>
Replies:
Subject: A cracker from Cracker


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:39:50 08/29/02 Thu
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg has been invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note,
"Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate".

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasised his wooden leg and so he writes a really rude letter of complaint.

A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says,
"Dear Sir, Sorry about our previous suggestion, please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg, and, with your bald head you will really look the part".

Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasising his wooden leg to emphasising his bald head and he writes the company a REALLY rude letter of complaint.

The next day he receives a small parcel and a note which reads, "Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a tin of golden syrup. Pour the tin of golden syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple."

BOOM BOOM.
Subject: When the Rights go up to lift the Winter League, We'll be there


Author:
The Mighty
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:27:37 08/29/02 Thu
On a hot summer night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses. We all did and jumped into the lions den to face The Coach and Horses on our travels on Tuesday. This was a smashing encounter, late entries from Goughy and the pull of Zagreb not keeping United fans away the squad moulded together well and looked sharp. The game began with our esteemed captain throwing himself up and tossing some poor bleeder who was only there to make up the numbers, 1-0. The man of the large appendage then stepped up scored well but where of where was the double, 1-1. Goughy then got up but needn't have, rubbish 1-2. I was next up and wasn't unhappy with the way I threw against another cack handed 19's thrower. I did a Leo in South Wales though and couldn't find the 12's, gutted, 1 -4. Then something happened of which we have not heard the last, a whirlwind erupted and a super composed display from Mark Howell got us right back in the game, he left 200 on the board against a smarmy git and finished with applomb, 2-4. The Ultra then stepped up playing someone who threw like a bomb victim, coll from Daz though whose double 10 kept us in the game, 3-4. When Mill stepped up with a well deserving Mark Howell we were all confident of making it a deciding leg and were right. The lads dominated and Mark was Dr Doubles on 8's, 4-4. Who would have believed the drama, broken only for a cool finish from Solskjaer. Goughy and Pete stepped up and scored really well, holding the throw to the double. Pete then wired tops twice,and Goughy (beaten in the doubles at 4-4 twice before, gotta feel for him)wire tops 3 times before a fat freak hit double 3. Astonishing drama but no points, we need to win the close ones boys, FINAL SCORE 4 - 5.
Subject: Guess who's back???


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:09:49 08/28/02 Wed
Jusy to prove I am still in high spirits despite my holiday being over, please see the following joke:

A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel dies of thirst. He's crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand
several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old brief case.

He opens it and out pops a genie....But this is no ordinary genie. He is wearing a Senior Manager ID badge and dull grey suit. "Well" says the genie.

"You know how it works. You have three wishes."

"I'm not falling for this." says the man. "I'm not going to trust a Senior Manager." "What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!" The man thinks about this for a minute,
and decides that the genie is right. "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food and drink."

***POOF***

The man finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies. "OK, kid, what's your second wish." "My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."

***POOF***

The man finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems. "OK, kid, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!" After thinking for a few minutes, the man says:

"I wish that no matter where I go beautiful women will want and need me."

***POOF*** He is turned into a tampon.

The moral of the story?

If a Senior Manager offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached.

Ps. Having been imitated over the last few weeks, rest assured I am the real Tyler Durden, not some phony. See you later at the match.
Subject: friendly


Author:
simon
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 01:04:57 08/28/02 Wed
sorry guyz carnt make friendly on wed going to evertonVb/ham.
could not make training sunday had a game to play 4 waggon told last min sunday morning.
good luck wed boys.
Subject: Rights Flights....


Author:
Trading standards
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:34:20 08/25/02 Sun
East end goods at West end prices !!! Mine are starting to crumble already
Subject: BLACON HIGH


Author:
TIZZA
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:53:38 08/24/02 Sat
NWAS FORGET WOT I TOLD YOU THURSDAY, POST ARE UP, PITCH MARKED OUT OK
Subject: Website updated


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 00:58:33 08/24/02 Sat
First six fixtures, darts news, ins and outs etc.
Subject: Footy update


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:24:36 08/21/02 Wed
OK, a bit more organised now.

Thursday 6-15 at Saltney friendly vs. Highfield (Sec. A)

Sunday 11am Training at Saltney

Wednesday 6-00 at Blacon High (on grass) Friendly vs. Shropshire Arms (Sec. C)

Sunday 11am at Saltney Ferry (meet at 10.30) Charity Shield game vs. Saltney Ferry (Sec. B)

Dont forget to turn up 30 mins before kick off.

'ave it.
Replies:
Subject: Derby double completed in emphatic style(5 out of 6)


Author:
The Mighty
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:24:24 08/21/02 Wed
Well didn't they do well. The boys rolled up with the new Eight Rights darts flights (available at Ģ1.50 per set)and never really looked back. With an appendage of that magnitude he should be confident and sure enough he was as Pistol Pete made it 1 - 0 on tops. Next up Rofts (fending off accusations of stalking) fired no blanks in coming from behind once again. The Irshman then stepped up and as if already in with one of the nurses on Saturday night, cruising the team to 3 - 0. Mark then produced a delightful floater to double 17 and The Mighty was humbled on the scoring before remaining calm to secure double 14. 5 - 0 and the lads were playing for averages, The Ultra was unfortunate despite heroic illegal coaching from Mark, Mini me was sublime finishing in 21 darts to go 6 - 1. Howcroft then teamed up with Leo (got no hair but we don't care) Burns to scabbily fall over the line ahead. The unselfish captain (sacrificed his stats for team morale)then stepped up with Mark and Lee obliged in a scrappy affair to make it 8 - 1 again. Good night had by all with only Marks passion for the younger woman to concern the leaving hordes at closing. Next week, did Goughy get a woman?, did Rofts suffer a restraining order? Did Mill play himself? Did Mark profit on the flights? Can The Mighty score a 60? Can Daz Ultra clean up? will Paul lose patience with Marks drooling? which angle did Leos darts go in at? and will PDC be payin the 20 Quid for Blacon girl on girl. All will be revealed as we tackle the Coach and Horses away at 8.45pm.
Replies:
Subject: Training and Season Start


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:41:50 08/18/02 Sun
Having been let down by a couple of sides for friendlies, training has been organised for next Sunday, 25th August, at Saltney CC at 11am.

Our season starts with a memorial trophy friendly with Saltney Ferry (unbeaten champs of Section C last season!) on September 1st at their ground, obviously kicking off at 11am.

Sorry there have not been more friendlies, but due to Runcorn and Brymbo failing us, we have been stuck. I will try to organise something for the Thursday before the SF game.
Replies:
Subject: Eight Rights search for derby double....


Author:
The Mighty
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:27:46 08/19/02 Mon
Lookin forward to the big clash at the Rights Tuesday as the boys look for a major derby double at home against the team in the legion.....ignore the Standard, its shite and the lads are riding high with 4 out of 5.....Can Howcfroft and myself get back on the winning trail, can anyone stop captain Miller, will Leo be as bad as ever, will Mark Turn up????? 8.45pm for the answers......
Subject: You can all F**K off


Author:
Tyler
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:19:53 08/19/02 Mon
I don't need to train
Subject: Where was Tyler !!!!


Author:
Team Spokesman
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 14:01:30 08/18/02 Sun
Fantastic turnout at training this morning, every single member of the Squad there except Tyler Durden. You could tell by the look on Brazier's face that he's starting to doubt and question Tyler's attitude to the club, and training sessions in particular - especially with the new season being so close as well.

Well done to everyone else for a great morning's work, and see you all again next Sunday.
Replies:
Subject: the standard


Author:
TM
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:17:01 08/15/02 Thu
once again 6 months out of date with the new tables......how are we still 7th??????????
Subject: You know what...


Author:
The Captain of the White Horse
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 19:16:05 08/14/02 Wed
I FUCKING HATE LOSING, ME.

GRRRRRR... MOOOOAAAANNNN... ARSE SEEING NOISES ETC...
Replies:
Subject: ************KNEIPEN DARTS AM RTL********************


Author:
T.M
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:17:06 08/13/02 Tue
LIVE**AM RTL EINS* UM 8.45UHR* SIEHST DIE MANNSCHAFTEN AUS EIGHT RIGHTS GEGEN DIE WICHSELN AUS WHITE HORSE. WIR MUSSEN WINNEN, SIE SIND ARSCHLOCKEN.......
Replies:
Subject: SILVER


Author:
JOHN LAWLER
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:02:37 08/13/02 Tue
INTER-TRANMERE CUP FINAL.
THE YARD (TRANMERE) 3 ---THE HIGHFIELD (CHESTER) 4.
I`AM PUTTING A CABINET UP IN THE HIFE FOR THE SHIELD.
Subject: How did the game go?


Author:
Rob Reay
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:30:47 08/12/02 Mon
Hi all heard you had a friendly just wondering how it went can you let me know cheers also miller i am going to watch elche v murcia sometime in october canīt rember exactly when will let you know
Subject: The hose in the Big Apple


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 23:20:46 08/09/02 Fri
Steve Painter gets an emergency phone call one day. The U.S. Ambassador has asked him and Kev Thomas to go to New York to help the Americans clear up at Ground Zero after the terrible doings on Sept 11.

After working all day, all sweaty, shitty and knackered, Mayor Rudi Guilliani turns up to meet the men. All the men line up and Painter hears the Mayor talking to the first man

"So son, great work you are doing here. Who are you?"
to which the bloke replies
"The names David Lewis, Sir. I'm from Chicago, Illinois."

The dignitaries move down the line and talk to another man.
"You're work is helping rebuild our nation, son. What is your name?"
to which the man replied
"Patrick McMahon, Sir. From Boston, Massachussets".

The mayor moves down to Steve Painter and addresses him.
"Son, what you are doing here is symbolic of the American way of life, freedom. Who are you, son?"
Steve replies
"Steven Painter, sir. From Saltney."
"Saltney eh?" the Mayor replies, "and what state is that in?"
to which Steve answered "It's fucking worse than this, Sir"
Subject: Pipe 'n' Slippers


Author:
The Co-habiter
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:25:23 08/09/02 Fri
How can Mark Howell Call anyone Pipe 'n'Slippers. He should be called Mr Curfew after Blackpool. Who stayed out till 5am while Mark was tucked up in bed after several 'DIET' cokes.
Replies:
Subject: disgust


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:12:14 08/09/02 Fri
we are blue, we are white, we are absolutely shite.......too many people are not serious enough about the game.....we need more pro attitudes,discipline and commitment......I'd love it if we beat them.
Subject: Signing on form for Rob Reay...


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:14:05 08/06/02 Tue
NWAS, if you get this before the game on Thursady, can you bring the above? Johnson and I are going next Tuesday [13/8] to see him in Spain, so if you think he needs to sign a form before the season starts i'll take it over with me. We don't want him to get back and sign for someone else. Cheers.
Replies:
Subject: Remember kids...


Author:
Paul LeRoy (cumming in your ears)
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:48:31 08/05/02 Mon
New series starts Thurs at 10pm.

<img src="http://www.peterkay.co.uk/pk_images/phoenixgroup.JPG">

"Get up yer girl"
Replies:
Subject: All gets complicated


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:22:17 08/06/02 Tue
With the football season starting again, time is gonna be tight...

Chester game tonight, then onto the Rights to see if the lads can defeat the four old lasses from the Egerton (who will probably turn up with Phil Taylor and Ray Barneveld tonight!). Then footy on Thursday, and it starts all over again next week.

Good God, my missus is gonna be pissed at me...
Subject: Wilderness


Author:
El Mighty
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:44:38 08/06/02 Tue
that was the scene at a more reasonable 10am Sunday. Do I have to do me summer squat thrusts on me own from now on?
Replies:
Subject: FOOTIE KIT NEEDED


Author:
Mellor
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 18:39:58 08/05/02 Mon
Mark do we need the footie kit for match on thursday ?.If so let us know it needs whashing cheers.
Subject: Rights on Victory trail


Author:
The Mighty
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:21:28 08/01/02 Thu
Full credit to the lads for the persistence the other night. The early losses for Miller and myself put us in danger but a fabulous leg from Howcroft followed by eventual wins for Big cock, Mark, Leo and Daz saw us through. The doubles showed Brightys continued improvement, well in contention for starting berth in winter league and a revenge dart for myself too in the final leg.

The rights now join the egerton, Upton RBL and the White Horse on 8 points and stay above the Stanley (next week home 8.45pm) and the Highfield back on 4. A win next week and we could join 4th place dependant on results....

Raffle tickets for the end of season Karaoke party on September 14th (in Eight Rights)will be on sale soon, no entry charge just a raffle for a fudraiser is the preliminary plan..full awards ceremony, can Howcroft 'keep' it up, remember Alex was 4-6 at one time in BB. Will Goughy 'turn' up is the next point and finally will Big Cock cock get 'felt' up by an old Dutch (again!!!).
Replies:
Subject: Just to prove I'm not a miserable bastard...


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:53:17 07/31/02 Wed
A guy is sitting at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He's slamming tequila left and right. He grabs one, drinks it, goes over to a window and jumps out.

The guy who was sitting next to him couldn't believe that the guy had just done that. He was more surprised when, ten minutes later, the same guy, unscathed, comes walking back into the bar and sits back down next to him. The astonished guy asks "How did you do that? I just saw you jump out that window and we're hundreds of feet above the GROUND!".

The jumper responds by slurring, "Well, I don't get it either. I slam a shot of tequila and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch."
He takes a shot, slams it down, goes to the window and jumps out. The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls until right before the ground, slows down and lands softly on his feet.

A few minutes later, the guy walks back into the bar. The other guy has to try it too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He drinks it and goes to the window and jumps. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn't slow down at all...SPLAT! The first guy orders another shot of tequila and the bartender says to him,

"You're really an asshole when you're drunk, Superman."

PS. Is there training this week??? Kev Thomas said we have a match. Which on eis it?
Replies:
Subject: What price for the Blues to win it next season?


Author:
Deva Boy
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 23:03:19 07/29/02 Mon
13/2 with Totalbet.co.uk

COME ON YOU BLUES!!!!!
Replies:
Subject: Training, where were u all


Author:
The Mighty
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:15:44 07/29/02 Mon
I was up at 4.30 am looking on the art college, all I found was 2 used jonnies and a broken shringe. I know how Tyler feels.....
Replies:
Subject: Eight Rights on tour


Author:
The Mighty
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:12:17 07/29/02 Mon
As Phil goes from strength to strength with a ten - nil drubbing of Burgess and Howcroft goes from strength to strength with beautifully concealed emotions in the Oddies last week, life seems unusually normal. The boys on Tuesday will be looking to push further away from the minnows with a win in the Rights against the egerton. Odds on I reckon, its about time we expected to win, then we may actually do so............ Following that the boys embark on a road trip, well 5 of the side anyway to see Phil lift the crown on Saturday, will Miller contain climax, we await the results......good fun all round.
Replies:
Subject: holligans


Author:
chester,s top boy
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 07:03:32 07/25/02 Thu
greeny wheres this goat website i cant find it and whats the name for the paul dodd one.or if anyone can give me a decent message board for a little chin wag with my wrexham freinds i would be very grateful.thank you >:)
Replies:
  • Re: holligans -- Chester Shelf Stacking Elite, 13:07:21 07/28/02 Sun
Subject: Darts Stats - As Requested


Author:
Datadart
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:00:37 07/24/02 Wed
Here's the Individual Stats after the Oddfellows game
last night:

Singles:
Mark Howcroft (GP 9, W 8, WP 89%)
Neil Howell (GP 8, W 7, WP 88%)
Steve McGeough (GP 5, W 3, WP 60%)
Pete Woodward (GP 7, W 4, WP 57%)
Lee Miller (GP 9, W 5, WP 56%)
Leo Burns (GP 6, W 2, WP 33%)
Mark Howell (GP 7, W 2, WP 29%)
Darren Hawkeswood (GP 8, W 2, WP 25%)
Paul Malam (GP 7, W 1, WP 14%)
Al Griffiths (GP 3, W 0, WP 0%)
Paul Brighton (GP 1, W 0, WP 0%)

Doubles:
Lee Miller (GP 7, W 5, WP 71%)
Neil Howell (GP 3, W 2, WP 67%)
Mark Howell (GP 6, W 4, WP 66%)
Steve McGeough (GP 4, W 2, WP 50%)
Mark Howcroft (GP 7, W 1, WP 14%)
Paul Malam (GP 3, W 0, WP 0%)
Pete Woodward (GP 4, W 0, WP 0%)
Paul Brighton (GP 3, W 0, WP 0%)
Alun Griffiths (GP 2, W 0, WP 0%)
Darren Hawkeswood (GP 1, W 0, WP 0%)

Highest Finish: Pete Woodward (70)
180's: Lee Miller (3)
Replies:
Subject: FASHOIN


Author:
MELLOR
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 19:31:34 07/21/02 Sun
HEY LEAVE ME BOOTS ALONE TIZZ U KNOW THEY WERE A RIGHT BIRD PULLER AND U SHOULD KNOW .THE NIGHTS U BEGGED ME TO LEND THEM TO YOU SO YOU COULD TAP AND JUST THINK HOW WELL THEY WOULD HAVE LOOKED WITH THE SMART PINK SHIRTS U WORE AND HIGH WAISTED JEANS WITH THE BLUE RIBBON AROUND THEM MMMMMM VERY SMART ENOUGH SAID ME OLD TATE?.OH PS ARROW TRAINERS NOW THEY WERE SMART!!!!!.
Replies:
Subject: We'll never die


Author:
the mighty
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:32:21 07/24/02 Wed
because the eight - rights we'll never die.
Subject: Training yesterday...


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:40:39 07/22/02 Mon
What happened??? Where was everybody??? Not even 10 people turned up.
Replies:
Subject: Friendly schedule


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:06:30 07/21/02 Sun
At Art College on Thursday 8th August at 6.15 against St. Werburghs.

Waiting for replies from Runcorn and Brymbo, and need to set firm date for a proper game Nev/Tiz?

Also Shropshire have been in touch so will keep all informed. Will be easier after stocktake next weekend... :(
Subject: highfield fc friendly


Author:
tizza
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:44:43 07/21/02 Sun
highfield fc 9 - team boot 2, looks like a sure 4-pointer for you isa lads this season.
Subject: Highfield humbled


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:50:02 07/18/02 Thu
Tizzer... Brian Bailey... Johnny Lawler... Can you hear me??? Nevitt... Toby Light... Gerry Smith... your boys took a hell of a beating, A HELL OF A BEATING!

<h3>Highfield 3 - 6 Eight Rights</h3>

To those who gave their all, in this battle of all battles, I salute you.

For the record -

Hife 0-1 Rights (Big Cock)
Hife 0-2 Rights (Roft)
Hife 0-3 Rights (NWAS)
Hife 0-4 Rights (Goffy)
Hife 0-5 Rights (The Mighty)
Hife 0-6 Rights (El Capitano)
Hife 1-6 Rights (Dazzer)
Hife 2-6 Rights (Roft/Brighty)
Hife 3-6 Rights (Big Cock/NWAS)

Bring on the White Horse!
Replies:
Subject: Crazy, crazy Nights


Author:
Paul LeRoy on Chorley FM, coming in your ears...
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 18:29:03 07/20/02 Sat
For those of you who like a little bit of Brian Potter, try this on for size...

<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.peterkay.co.uk/pk/soundboard.html">http://www.peterkay.co.uk/pk/soundboard.html</a>
Subject: Black Armbands On


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:37:32 07/20/02 Sat
WILLIAMSON RETURNS TO IRELAND
By Robert Pratt, PA Sport

Top jump jockey Norman Williamson has announced that he is set to continue his riding career in his native Ireland.

Williamson, 33, who is currently on the sidelines after breaking his shin in a fall at Punchestown in April, has cited better prize money in Ireland as one of the main reasons for his decision.

"The biggest part of my recent career has been to get on the best horses I can in Ireland, where not only is the prize money greater but the standard of racing is very high," he told the Racing Post.

"You only have to look at the sales reports in Ireland to see where the money is.

"It makes commercial sense for me to go back there, and I won't miss the seven days a week schedule I've set myself over the past two years from October through to March."

Williamson, who achieved the Champion Hurdle-Cheltenham Gold Cup double on Alderbrook and Master Oats in 1994, will base himself at the Curragh and hopes to resume riding in September.

==========================================================

Sniff. Snuffle.
[ Main index ] [ Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, [6] ]

Click here to return to home page

Forum timezone: GMT+0
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.