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LIVING THE DREAM

Losing the toss and missing doubles since 1998

A message board of distinction for the Egerton Arms Darts Club B-Troop and Chester City ISA FC

and the debauched proletariat thereof


Return to www.chestercityisafc.co.uk
Subject: another website update!


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:07:09 09/16/03 Tue
Thanks to Tyler we now have match reports on the VX Dynamos and Bache games.
Subject: player updates


Author:
flabio
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 18:30:13 09/16/03 Tue
just veiwed the dave ellis player details, well ask him about the vicar a doberman and a large bucket of fish, and see wot answer he gives
Subject: Whooohhoooo! Player profiles updated...


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 23:05:56 09/15/03 Mon
Player profiles have been updated (thanks Renns) and I have overhauled the other ones. Those who have gone is a good laugh!

Updated the news pages and the stats to include Sundays game.

Oooooohhhh you hair is beautiful. Oooooooohhhh tonight....
ATOMIC.

Keep it real, with two goals on Hoole field. Oochie Minger has revealed, we nearly had the draw sealed... :(
Replies:
Subject: Website Updated


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 23:21:07 09/12/03 Fri
I have updated the news, the scorers, fixtures, moms etc on the website.

Can everyone who can contribute knock me something up, as it has grown a bit tired and i am going to redo a lot of it I think (player profiles need doing/match reports/music reviews/books/movies/anything). Was the 7 day theory just a dirty weekend? Only Tyler knows...
Replies:
Subject: keep the supporters up todate !


Author:
Alan Hanson
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:46:04 09/14/03 Sun
Went to watch the mighty isa play the deva no teams to be seen was the game off or moved? car boot was ok though
Replies:
Subject: Black Dog 1...Chester City ISA 2


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:26:28 09/10/03 Wed
Great result last night from all of the lads and another performance to be proud of. The Black Dog were a solid side who played some good football at times, yet we were still able to grind out a hard fought win.

Personally I was most impressed with the defensive work of Mark Howell and "Big" Steve [don't know his surnname], ably aided by the Earl and Coleman, both of whom played brilliantly, after a shaky start following Painter's departure. As was displayed, the key to winning isn't always to be the greatest defender in the world, but if you want it like they did last night and are prepared to do whatever it takes you'll get the tackle/block in. Aside from that the midfield was fantastic and there was some good running up front. And of course Dave Ellis continued his good start with a comfortable display in goal. I suppose it's difficult to single out players after such a good all-rounnd performance.

One more thing, the boy Howell is no doubt making his play for top goalscorer of the season with another goal to take his tally to four in three games. With Dave "Ronaldo" due to return on Sunday it just raises the question, "what now for Ditchfield?"

Decisions, decisions.
Replies:
Subject: Fine win .


Author:
Alan Hanson
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:37:45 09/07/03 Sun
todays m.o.m.dave in goal
Replies:
Subject: Dilemma


Author:
Frank McAvennie (closet isa fan)
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:10:24 09/03/03 Wed
What happened last night? What was the starting eleven?

Has Tyler 'playboy' Durden been taking Oochie's advice to literally and indulging the isa lifestyle to vehemently?

Where next for Ditchfield? Maybe Chairman Howell can sell his stake in the club to a Blacon billionaire who could come in and offer chip buttys and a free night at the darts to entice a new breed of superstar to the club.

So many questions...
Replies:
Subject: Last Nights Game


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:27:39 09/03/03 Wed
Despite the fact that we lost 3-0 last night I think that we can take a lot of positives from the game, not least our overall performance, individual performances and the committment that was shown. At the end of the day we were playing a team who undoubtedly have players who play on a Saturday [perhaps not Bazza], and also have played a few games already this season. Given that fact 3-0 was certainly not a terrible result.

To me it was similar to the Saltney Ferry game last season where we were under pressure for the majority of the game, yet were always in with a chance. Only when they scored the third in the dying minutes that it was over. At 2-0 I fluffed a great chance, which could have made a real game of it. Shame.

Other than that, there were stand out performances from debutant keeper Dave Ellis [showing the Cabriolet how it should be done] and Steve Painter at the back. Also Ditchfiled played a blinder [just edging my bets - keeping the boss sweet] against one of the best centre mid players I've seen at our level. In my opinion all we need is to challenge better for the headers etc. in centre midfield from goal kicks etc. Easier said than done I know, but perhaps this will take a bit of pressure of the back four.

All in all though if we play like that in every game this season we'll win/draw more than we'll lose. Roll on the Bache.
Subject: to nights game


Author:
mellor
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:36:29 09/02/03 Tue
how did the game go what was the score did the new boss imrae varadi get the isa off to a winning start?.hife tiz nev win yours ?
Replies:
Subject: Ditchfields debut


Author:
4-4-2
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 14:18:17 09/02/03 Tue
Any guesses as to Ditchfields starting eleven tonight then ? My guess is an attacking option looking for goals and flair rather than a defensive outlook that will bore th arse off everyone
Replies:
Subject: Training?


Author:
OS Dog
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:10:07 08/30/03 Sat
Is there any training tomorrow?

It's just that I will carry on drinking if not....
Replies:
Subject: Gag of the week


Author:
Tarbrush Jnr.
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:20:14 08/28/03 Thu
A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says,
"Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a moth."
Dentist: "You don't need a dentist.
You need a psychiatrist."
Man: "Yes, I know."
Dentist: "So why did you come in here?"
Man: "The light was on..."
Subject: Website updated


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 19:13:22 08/23/03 Sat
The website has been updated, with new fixtures for September on there. The first game is on a Tuesday night.

I am to be doing a full website update soon, and am looking for volunteers to help. The helpers would need a computer at home, and some knowledge of Microsoft Frontpage. Email me if you can give it a bit of time.

blaconblue dot aol dotcom
Subject: Last night's game


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:19:45 08/20/03 Wed
A good game last night and an even better result, 3-2. Overall it was very enjoyable with stand out performances for me from Steve Painter, Steve Mann and Dave "Ronaldo", scoring on his debut. Also a screamer from Marc Edwards, followed up by a howler of a miss. The guy's like Diego Forlan, believe me. Up front Edwards and Ronaldo just killed them for pace and we could easily have scored more if the finishing had been better.

Aside from that a good all round, committed performance from the lads. Even though we went one down the spirit was there to fight back. I think those who weren't able to be there should struggle to break into Ditchfield's starting eleven come the opening day of the season. There was even a cameo appearance from a certain Paul Brazier, letting the rest know he ain't dead and buried just yet.

Also of note was the appearance for the oppostion of a few ISA old boys. Greenie, Sarnie, Morgans, Bagby, Hollinger, Tiz all were there and it was good to see them.

All in all a good occasion.
Replies:
Subject: and again...


Author:
Tarbrush Jnr
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:57:44 08/22/03 Fri
Q: Why does the Avon lady walk funny?
A: Her lipstick
Subject: Gag


Author:
Tarbrush Jnr
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:49:48 08/22/03 Fri
Q: Who are the nicest men in hospital?
A: The ultra-sound blokes
Subject: Tyler - phone me...


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:51:55 08/22/03 Fri
If you get this in work Friday afternoon ring me. I need to talk to you urgently. I left a message on your moby this morning.
Subject: Training and a friendly


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:38:50 08/15/03 Fri
The gaffer has called training on for Sunday, meet at Saltney at 10.30am

This is ahead of our first (and at the moment only...) friendly on Tuesday night at 6pm at Blacon Art College. We are playing the Highfield saturday side, who are a lot of the older Hife lads (Tiz runs them) and will be a good test.

Ditch will be sending texts out, but if you could all make it it would be appreciated. (some of us are at York races. Destiny is a cruel mistress sometimes...)
Subject: Today and stuff


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:37:23 08/10/03 Sun
Great turnout today. Add a few absentees into that and we have the makings of a fair squad. The keeper in particular looked excellent, as did 'Ronaldo'.

I have updated the website tonight, with some news and the second part of Tyler Durdens incident report following Blackpool.

Trying to arrange a friendly for this week, so keep your ears peeled for a text message.
Replies:
Subject: Blackpool review


Author:
Avid reader
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:11:39 08/12/03 Tue
Just read Blackpool part two... sounds like something from Motorhead's tour diary, all that was missing was the TV through the Window.
Replies:
Subject: Training Sunday [10th August]


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:19:41 08/06/03 Wed
Training has been arranged for this Sunday at the Community Centre at Saltney for 10.30am. Wee need to be there early to make sure we get to the goals first. Hopefully we'll get more than the 9 who turned up last week.
Subject: Training this Sunday


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:11:57 07/28/03 Mon
A poor turnout last week means that we really need to train this Sunday to get the signing on forms done. All of the Saltney lads are back, and one or two of us are free to attend.

PLEASE make the effort. If you want to sign this season, or you know someone who does, please turn up, or let us know your intentions.

Sunday. 11am. Saltney CC.

Thanks
Replies:
Subject: Training again


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:15:40 07/19/03 Sat
For those of you that couldn't be arsed last week, you missed out on a cracking 6 a side match with some locals. Fuckin hard work on that pitch, but well worth it.

We will try and train next Sunday at 11am on the same little pitch in Saltney. Again bring anyone interested in playing next year, as I will bring the forms.

And don't forget the end of Season do...
Replies:
Subject: I know some of you have heard this, but it the best I've heard in a while


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 23:05:52 07/24/03 Thu
Back in the Swinging Sixties, Michael Caine is holding a big showbiz party in his swanky new house. Everyone who's anyone is there - top stars from the worlds of movies and music, fashion and art.

There's the best wines that money can buy, oysters, champagne, Lennon and McCartney are helping themselves at the bar, Jim Morrison and his band are sitting on the couch singing "Light My Fire", and over in the corner, George Peppard's getting very pally with Sophia Loren.

All's going really well, until Jim Morrison decides he's bored out of his skull, and wants to go home for an early night curled up with a good book.

"Oi, Jim," objects Michael Caine, "party's just got started. How's about I get one of 'the ladies' to take you into the spare bedroom for a bit of the 'how's yer father?'"

"Fair play," nods Jim [well that's not his exact words, but you get the gist], "as long as she does the rest of the band too."

"Not a problem, Jim," smiles Michael, as he pulls a young dolly bird in close and whispers some instructions in her ear.

Half an hour later, the young lass is just wiping her chin, when in walks Ringo Starr from the Beatles. "Alright, luv?" he drones, "don't suppose you fancy extending that service to me, do you?"

The young woman thinks about this for a second, then says "What the hell!" and proceeds to unzip Ringo's fly and get to work.

Ringo's having a grand time, until, mere moments before the end, the door flies open and Michael Caine bursts in. He grabs the young one by the back of the hair and Slaps her hard across the face!

"Wh-what was that for?" she whimpers.

"I told you," Caine snarls "You're only supposed to blow the bloody Doors off..."
Subject: Training and the do


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:19:28 07/11/03 Fri
There will be a training get together on Saltney CC at 6.30pm next Thursday. All are welcome, as are anyone you know who wants to sign. Oochie and OS Dog are you game?

At the risk of knocking it off the top of the board, I will plug the end of season do, it is a must see. Beertrix Brian Potter will be performing, and if nothing else happens it will be worth the £2.50 alone to see if Ditch and Coleman can outdo their own very low standards again.

Bring it on. CCISA FC. Taking the dream to the people of Blacon every other Sunday.
Replies:
Subject: New Signings


Author:
Oochie minger
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 14:16:30 07/04/03 Fri
Dear Sirs,

I don't know if your signing any new players this season, but Johnson said the other day that Andy Baily is interested, obviously it's up to you lot but i think he'd well strengthen the midfield. If you do want him, give Andy J a ring and maybe invite him to training or something?

Yours in football

Marc Edwards BSc
Replies:
Subject: Important - ISA End of Season Do...


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:15:24 07/11/03 Fri

The Chester City ISA FC End of season Do has been arranged for Saturday 23rd August at the Egerton Arms Pub in Saughall, the same place where the Darts Presentation was held in April [which was a cracking night by the way]. All are cordially invited to attend. Tickets are £2.50 and the pub will be putting on some food along with a singer or disco. Anyone who attended the darts night should know the set up.

The night will include presentations of trophies to players and will also act as a pre-season get together for the coming season. The night will also hopefully include a raffle to raise money for the club. It is envisaged that we will then go into town to take in a Ruby Murray after last orders.

As always, the more the merrier. If you are interested get in touch with either myself, Mark Howell or Paul Brighton.

Thanks.
Subject: Training Sunday...Anyone???


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:16:07 07/08/03 Tue
I know last Sunday we didn't really come to any firm decision about the next time we would have training, but what are peoples thoughts on having it again in Saltney this coming Sunday [13th July] at 11am? I know Oochie's keen to play and that some said they couldn't play, the legendary Mark Howell for example [knew I could fit that in somewhere], but if we could get 10 it would be worth having a little game.

If you can play reply to this so we can get an idea of numbers. I can then speak to some at darts tonight.

Ta.
Replies:
Subject: Training Sunday - Change of Venue...Important


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:38:59 07/02/03 Wed
Just to let everyone know that, following some discussion with members of the Tafia and the man, indeed the legend that is Mark Howell, sunday's training will NOW be held at the COMMUNITY CENTRE in SALTNEY. Time is still 11am and it will of course be on grass.

As before, it you could reply to say if you can or can't make training it would be most helpful, as I reckon we need at least 10 for a good game.

Thanking you in anticipation.
Replies:
Subject: Training Sunday [6th July]


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 14:17:10 06/30/03 Mon
Calling All ISA players:

Just to let you know that training has been organised for this Sunday at 11am at the Old Art College in Blacon next to the Imps. Word has it that the pitches are in pretty good nick and have goals up. If there are any problems when we get there we can move to the plastic at Blacon High if required, so bring trainers etc just in case. As well as training, Maka also has forms for signing on this season, so be prepared to do a little bit of form filling in. As always, the more the merrier.

If by any chance you can't make training, if you could reply to say that you can't come we would be most appreciative. It would also help us get an idea of numbers, there were only 7 of us last time.

Ta.
Replies:
Subject: F.A.O. Tyler


Author:
Oochie Minger
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:43:07 07/01/03 Tue
free fantasty footy
www.livefootbal.co.uk
Replies:
  • FAO Oochie -- Tyler Durden, 14:03:26 07/01/03 Tue
Subject: Can't even spell


Author:
Oochie minger
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:46:32 07/01/03 Tue
make that livefootball.co.uk

(for the benifit of xander, you know what he's like!)
Subject: Big Brother


Author:
Oochie Minger
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:09:23 06/30/03 Mon
What the fuck is Robbie Savage doing on big brother and why do they all keep calling him Lisa?
Replies:
Subject: Chester V Canvey programme on eBay


Author:
hufctigers
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 14:22:01 06/26/03 Thu
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2738742054&category=6091&rd=1">http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2738742054&category=6091&rd=1</a>
Replies:
Subject: ISA Lads do themselves proud


Author:
Darting Legend who makes the front Page !!!
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:26:09 06/25/03 Wed
A great night in the Coach last night, and also a great performance against a team who were top of the league, and
who we could have indeed beaten.

Special mentions go out to Ditchfield and also reynolds. Ditchfield threw some great darts and finished in style, to bring the house down. The roar was bigger than the one in the Sudan when it finally started to rain that time. That for me was the highlight of the night, and no doubt the lad will be talking everyone threw it over and over again over the next few days and rightly so.

Reynolds was given his first start in competitive singles action, and probably found it to be a lot more harder than playing doubles. It's only really in singles matches that the nerves kick in and the Oche can be a lonely place at times. All credit to Reyns though who settled in and hit some good scores towards the end. It was a big learning curve for the lad and he did well and showed some promise for the coming weeks.

The main thing that has to be said about last night, was the team spirit was fantastic. Win or lose, bad or good score encouragement was given to every member of the team.
I'm afraid to say that had I been in charge of the opposition there would be one player who would not be playing for my side ever again, as the team can do without wankers like him and that's why I hope I will never ever bring one to this club, and spoil was is a great team spirit.
Replies:
Subject: Website updated


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:27:35 06/24/03 Tue
I have updated the website with a shot of a darting legend playing with Phil Taylor, and with TD's excellent write up about Blackpool. We now want the second installment please Mr. Durden! Especially the bit about Hocking and the 10 foot wall!
Subject: tommy johnson


Author:
phillip hammond
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:32:08 06/03/03 Tue
hey tommy two pints, we heard you pulled in cambridge at the weekend? so how is carla then?
Replies:
Subject: Shit Pub, Shit Night


Author:
Gentle Bens rival
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:54:52 06/18/03 Wed
The Liver Hotel... The Fuckin Biggest dive I have seen since Neil Howell last played for the ISA
Replies:
Subject: Sick gag


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:23:27 06/20/03 Fri
What do Chinese parents call mongy babies?

Sum Tin Wong

(Sorry)
Subject: yuppie


Author:
oochie minger
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:31:59 06/17/03 Tue
A shepherd is herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advances out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out of the window and says to the shepherd:

"If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looks at the man, who is obviously a yuppie, then turns to his peaceful, grazing flock and calmly answers, "OK, why not?"

So the yuppie parks his car, whips out his IBM Thinkpad, connects it to his mobile phone, surfs the Internet and finds a NASA site. Then, using the Web site, he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system and scans the area.

Next he opens up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas and after a few minutes he prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech, miniaturised printer.

Eventually he turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep."

"That's correct," says the shepherd. "You can take one of the sheep."

He watches as the young man selects one of the animals and bundles it into his car, then says: "Hold on a minute, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"

"OK, why not?" answers the young man.

"That's easy," says the shepherd, "You're a consultant."

"That's spot on," says the yuppie, clearly amazed, "but how did you guess that?"

"There was no guessing required," answers the shepherd.

"You turned up here, even though nobody called you. You expect to get paid to give me an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't even know a thing about my business. Now give me back my dog."
Subject: Back with a gag...


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:18:30 06/15/03 Sun
> >A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the
> >morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets
> >up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,
> >standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
> >
> >"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is three o'clock
> >in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.
> >
> >"Who was that?" asked his wife.
> >
> >Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
> >
> >"Did you help him?" she asks.
> >
> >"No, I did not, it is three in the morning and it is
> >pouring out!"
> >
> >"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't
> >you remember about three months ago when we broke down
> >and those two guys helped us?" "I think you should
> >help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
> >
> >The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out
> >into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark,
> >"Hello, are you still there?"
> >
> >"Yes," comes back the answer.
> >
> >"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
> >
> >"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
> >
> >"Where are you?" asks the husband.
> >
> >"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk...
Subject: Blackpool


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:24:54 06/09/03 Mon
Just to update those unaware, we came second in the tournament to Blackpool who won the tournament by virtue of a better goal difference. Of the 8 games we played we won 5, drew 2 and lost one. One of our wins was actually against the Blackpool side who won it. Having topped our league we moved into the "champions" league with an excellent chance of winning. As three teams from each league wnet through, rather than play the same teams twice, the points scored against a team in the first group stage carried forward to the second, much like the Super Sixes in Cricket. We went through with 4 points. We then proceeded to lose to Dublin, which meant our advantage was gone. Shame really, but were were not disgraced. Stand out performance from "the cat" Bryan Coleman in goal, Rob Wellings and newcomer Andy Bailey, who despite being unknown by many turned in a series of good performances and weighed in with some important goals.

The night follwed and after having a large quantity of alcohol the majority found their way into "The Syndicate" club, and marvelled at a revolving dance floor. On leaving the nightclub the evening was far from over with the obligatory food being taken in at McDonalds, followed by a look for a club of a different nature. You would think that on arriving back at the hotel the night was over, but it wasn't. Four of the lads, inevitably led by Coleman and Ditchfield proceeded to have a great time soaking everyone with a fire extinguisher and then getting a telling off from the owner, who, if I recall, called us "fucking idiots".

A full report will follow.
Replies:
Subject: Blackpool Report


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:30:00 06/13/03 Fri
For anybody who is interest [probably nobody, but there you go] I have just written up a report on last week's tournament in Blackpool. Hopefully Maka will be able to post it on his arrival back from his hols.
Subject: The dream destroyed?


Author:
oochie minger
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:47:22 06/09/03 Mon
I think not.

What a day. The sun was shining and it was all on display... The running seemed endless, the passing was phenomenal, the first touch sublime. A style of play that may only be described as pleasing to the eye. Enough aggression to take on Tyson, and a level of commitment on a par with that required to find Saddam Hussein. There was flair, skill in excess and moments of sheer genius….. But enough about me, you lot put in a satisfactory effort, well for amateurs, I suppose.


Lads, seriously, what a day, we were FUKIN ACE (We were robbed but ACE nevertheless).

Keep it real.
Replies:
Subject: Scousers and Mancs


Author:
Oochie Minger
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:22:25 06/09/03 Mon



A Family of Manchester United supporters head out one Saturday morning in their stolen Ford Escort to do their Christmas shoplifting in Salford.

While in JJB Sports the son picks up a Liverpool jersey and says to his pregnant 12 year old sister, "I've decided to become a Liverpool supporter and I would like this for Christmas". His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him round the head with her carton of Marlboros and says, "Go talk to Mum."

Off goes the little lad with the Liverpool jersey in hand and finds his mother.

"Mum?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Liverpool supporter and I would like his jersey for Christmas". The mother is outraged at this and throws her moccasins and a full can of Stella at him, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "lets go talk to your father".

Off they go to the prison during visiting hours with jersey in hand and find Bubba, his father.

"Dad?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Liverpool supporter and I would like this jersey for Christmas". The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around
the head with his fists and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT", and then kicks him from one end of the store to the other and back again for good measure.

About half an hour later they're all back in the stolen car and heading towards home. The mother turns to her son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?"

The son says, "Yes I have."
"Good son, what is it?"
The son replies, "I've only been a Liverpool supporter for an hour and already I hate you fuckin' Man United pricks !!
Subject: Daylight (very fuckin hot daylight) robbery!!


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:09:26 06/09/03 Mon
I dont want to sound bitter, but i am. We were fuckin robbed.
Subject: Chester Darts League


Author:
Mill
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 18:20:29 06/08/03 Sun
For the lads amongst us who play in the Chester Darts league, the Official website of the league is now up and running and can be viewed at www.chesterdartsleague.co.uk
Subject: black pool trip


Author:
mellor
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:53:19 06/08/03 Sun
never mind truning tiz on talking about chuffin gay bars how did the footie go lads?
Replies:
Subject: Latest From Blackpool


Author:
Glad I stayed at home
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 23:22:56 06/07/03 Sat
A friend of mine has just spotted our lads going into the Swing Wing club, Blackpool's finest gay bar, and he reckons they are all doing fine and deffo on a winner !!!
Replies:
Subject: blackpool


Author:
tizza
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:35:19 06/06/03 Fri
good luck at the weekend lads, sorry can`t make it but i know it will be a laugh, anyway it will give someone else a chanch with some totty if i`am not their. top shagger! believe the dogs was a crakin night eh. cheers
Subject: Blackpool


Author:
Oochie Minger
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 14:12:39 06/03/03 Tue
Alright all?

Any of u monkies know the plan for the weekend yet? The ginger warrior has been training non-stop in the gym (chin ups with the aid of a fireman's lift!) so how can we fail?

Takin the dream on tour!

Bo Fukin Selecta
Replies:
Subject: Dream


Author:
Oochie Minger
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 14:59:57 05/18/03 Sun
Still livin' the dream!
Replies:
Subject: Daryl Clare llinked to Grimsby


Author:
DN35
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:43:30 06/02/03 Mon
Daryl Clare has been linked back to his old club Grimsby Town.

<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.themariner.co.uk">http://www.themariner.co.uk</a>
Subject: Training Sunday... [And Blackpool]


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:30:07 05/28/03 Wed
Training has been organised for this Sunday [1st June] at 11am on the Blacon High astro turf. All are welcome. If you fancy it come along. Hopefully it will serve as good practice for the Blackpool Sevens tournament that takes place the following Saturday. It'll also serve as an oportunity to arrange details for the follwing week.

For those attending the Blackpool tournament [and specifically I mean Rob Wellings and The Earl - the rest all know], Bryan yesterday booked us all into a hotel for the Saturday night - £25 per person for the night. If you turn up for training we can sort out the specific details then, if not you'll have to let us know how to get in touch with you to sort it out.

As far as I know we will be wearing the ISA kit and the tournament starts at some point in the morning - approx 11am I think. Any info you could give us Maka on start times, directions etc. would be much appreciated.

Cheers.
Replies:
Subject: The New breed of player


Author:
Darts Scout
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:58:38 05/28/03 Wed
Just got back from the Egerton Darts tournament and have to say I was impressed by the standard shown by the new lads. Firstly Kevin Thomas threw some good darts and was never outplayed in any of his games and rightly won one of his matches.

Young reynolds was also in good form and could easily have made the semu's had his doubles finished the right side of the wire - unlucky.

Well both lads with a little bit of practise over the next few weeks and days could well find themselves as regulars in the first team, it's now all about practise and how much
they want it.
Replies:
Subject: Joke


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 18:38:40 05/27/03 Tue
A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days.
An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds.
The old man decided to go and see if they were all right. He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered.
The old man asked if they were OK.
"Yes, we're fine. We're living on the fruits of love".
The old man replied, "I thought so ... would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window? ...they're choking my ducks!"
Subject: Nuff Respect in Every Aspect


Author:
Merson
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:01:16 05/25/03 Sun
Respect to;

Brighton Event Management ltd. A top night out.
Miller Transport Services. There and back in one piece.
Brian and Rens. Winning virtually every damn race.
Painter Tipsters. Nuff said..!!

Top night out lads. When is the next one?

The Merse.
Replies:
Subject: Eurovision Song contest


Author:
Terry Wogan
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:05:24 05/25/03 Sun
For the lads on the bus, the Austrian entry actually finished an amazing 6th. Miller nearly was collecting as had it finished 4th he'd have got £250 each way on it. Had it actually won an amazing £1250 would have been won.

6th is very impressive for an absolute shite song
Subject: The Dogs


Author:
TBG
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:27:14 05/22/03 Thu
Dress code is optional. Plans for after are not confirmed yet but the likelihood is we will be heading straight back to Chester in time to frequent a local night spot that is why I have said shirt and trousers. At least we are dressed to head somewhere then.
Replies:
Subject: Dogs


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 11:13:02 05/20/03 Tue
Ive been talking to a few people i know who regularly go to the dogs and ive been told that theres no need for shirt and pants. Its much more of a casual thing - jeans and that sort of shit.
Replies:
  • Re: Dogs -- Tyler Durden, 12:39:23 05/20/03 Tue
    • Re: Dogs -- Xander Cage, 09:14:38 05/21/03 Wed
      • Re: Dogs -- Tyler Durden, 10:10:46 05/21/03 Wed
Subject: retainer list


Author:
marco fat-bastard
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:24:24 05/19/03 Mon
IS THE ISA FOOTBALL TEAMS RETAINER LIST OUT YET, IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU COULD PUT ONE ON THE BOARD WITH A REASON FOR RETAINING OR NOT RETAINING CERTAIN PLAYERS I`AM SURE IT WILL BE A WITTY READ GO-ON HAVE A GO.
Subject: A brand spanking new set of lyrics!!


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:15:04 05/14/03 Wed
The board is eerily quiet at the moment. The dogs is coming up, i thought everyone would be talking about that.

Anyway, i thought id put some posh new lyrics up on the board... VERY new lyrics.

"You said i tasted famous so i drew you a heart,
But now im not an artist im a fucking work of art.
Ive got an F and a C and ive got a K too,
Now the only thing thats missing is a bitch like yoU."

Classy, i think you'll agree.
Replies:
Subject: Joke


Author:
Mellor
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:43:01 05/16/03 Fri
An elephant comes across a camel.'How come you've got tits on you're back? he asks.The camel replied 'That's fresh coming from you with that dick on you're face'.
Subject: VOTE FOR ME !


Author:
G.LINIKER
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:38:19 05/16/03 Fri
MAKA HAS EVERY ONE REPLIED TO YOUR QUESTIONAIRE YET? I.E BEST ISA PLAYER PREM PLAYER AND BEST SONG ETC.
Subject: Bad curry


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 19:51:20 05/14/03 Wed
Made a madras last night. I had an arse like a weight lifter this morning ;)
Replies:
Subject: Sent to change the world... for the greater good.


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:02:50 05/15/03 Thu
You see, i post a lyric and it all starts up again. Im sure im the catalyst for greater things.

Maybe we should all start writing our own lyrics. Hhhmmmm... now theres a plan.
Replies:
Subject: News just in...


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:30:20 05/15/03 Thu
Tragic News:

Major Ingram, the Who Wants to be a Millionaire cheat, has today committed suicide.

In an act of kindness ITV bosses along with Chris Tarrant have agreed to pay for the funeral, but not the coffin.
Subject: Season highlights.


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 09:27:48 05/15/03 Thu
“Newcastle are just searching for that chink in the Everton defence” - Premiership Plus commentator Alan Parry moments before Li Tie scored an own goal to give the Barcodes victory.

Three words... funny as fuck.
Subject: Greyhounds


Author:
TBG
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:53:40 05/14/03 Wed
The greyhound tickets have arrived and the minibus is booked, please bring your £23 with you on the day or if you want to pay me before I can be found next Tuesday at the Egerton for the Darts.

Please let me know asap if you can't go as I'm relying on everyone otherwise my credit card bill will be hurting.

Meet at the Eight Rites between 2-2.30 on Sat 24th May.

Dress - shirt and trousers I reckon.

Cheers
Subject: the clap!


Author:
i'm alive
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 18:50:43 05/13/03 Tue
if your happy and you know it clap your hands ..if your happy and you know it clap your hands if your happy and you know and you really want to show it if your happy and you know it clap your hands.
Replies:
Subject: Music page


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:45:33 05/09/03 Fri
I have written 'Until the Sky turns Green', a new music page, and the first 'issue' is online now. Have a look and let me know what you think.

Ta
Replies:
Subject: now't doing here!


Author:
i'm alive!
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 18:42:23 05/13/03 Tue
you can tell the footie season is over now't doing on here what ever happended to rens and co never know'n the bord so quiet not even the odd joke to be had aw well back to me checkers!
Subject: Training??? Anyone interested???


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:09:34 05/02/03 Fri
Now that the season is officially over is anyone missing playing on a Sunday morning? I was speaking to Ditch the other night and we reckon it would be good idea if we could perhaps arrange some sort of training on Sunday mornings, either at Blacon on the astro or Saltney on the small pitch,as a way of both keeping fit and preparing for the new season. I would guess the entire Taffia would be play, work permitting.

Even if we only manage to get 10 to a dozen people we could get a good game going. At least it will be something to act against the monotony that is Sunday moring now that the season is finished.

Anyone agree? I'm sure Maka could sort something out. He usually does if something needs doing.

Heil Hitler!!!
Replies:
Subject: Hurting


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:17:12 05/06/03 Tue
Ben Davies and Wayne Brown you are fucking legendary. So proud. So hurt.

Always the bridesmaids. Always at someone else's party.
Replies:
Subject: Website


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:18:56 04/30/03 Wed
The website has been updated to include the stats up to the end of the season.

I have received 3 of the forms from below on my email, and will do a review in a week or so when i recover from the play offs. Those who haven't done them can email them at the isa email if they want (ccisafc@hotmail.com). The more the merrier.

Trying to get a topic going is all...

COME ON YOU BLUE BOYS!
Replies:
Subject: It's oh so quiet. Shhhh. Shhhh. So, something to wake you up!


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 08:37:31 04/26/03 Sat
So, if results go our way, we will finish third bottom in relative safety of not having to apply for re-election. So... in the end of season way that we do, a good article for the website will hopefully come out of the questionnaire below. I would be obliged if you would e-mail me the results to my home e-mail (the blaconnet one), and I will do a feature for the website with the results.

<b>Who or what was your...</b>

<u>FOOTBALL (and sport in general)</u>

Player of the Season (ISA)?

Goal of the Season (ISA)?

Most improved player of the season (ISA)?

Player of the Season (Premiership)?

Player of the Season (CCFC - to those whom it applies)?

Sports Personality of the Year?

Sporting moment of the Year?

<u>TELEVISION</u>

TV Show of the Year?

TV Personality of the Year?

Favourite Quote of the Year?

<u>MUSIC</u>

Album of the Year?

Song of the Year?

Band/Performer of the Year?

Gig of the Year?

Lyric of the Year?

<b>PLUS ANY OTHER COMMENTS YOU WOULD WISH TO PUT ACROSS IN MY ISA PLAYERS REVIEW OF 2002/03</b>

Send them in as soon as you can, and I will post the article ASAP. Anyone who can find it in them to write an article on ANYTHING (Footy, Sport, Music, S&M Cottaging/Felching locations in North Wales etc.) send 'em to me, because I am getting desperate.

Ta.
Replies:
Subject: Funny joke


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:51:05 04/30/03 Wed
Q: What did Freddie Mercury and River Phoenix
have in common?
A: They both had some bad crack
Subject: Funny joke


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 20:39:28 04/30/03 Wed
Q: What did Freddie Mercury and River Phoenix
have in common?
A: They both had some bad crack
Subject: Good to get another win...


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:01:22 04/18/03 Fri
Never easy beating 9 men, but at 6 up at ht the second half was never going to be Real Madrid. Still, job was done (unlike last time we played 9!).

See you all at the Egerton Darts Night on Saturday?
Subject: ISA 2 Custom House 1...Get in there!!!


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 10:21:03 04/11/03 Fri
What a result. Who'd have thought that with the back line decimated we could pull off a result like that. Especially against a team who someone said before the game could possibly win the Section. Committment was last night's watch word, and I've never seen 11 ISA players so comitted to getting a result. Get FUCKING in there.

After the match I was thinking and, while I'm perhaps disgressing, thought that maybe had we played that way for more of the season we could have won a few more games. By "that way" I mean making sure we are solid at the back and looking to score on the break. For the majority of games this season we have tried to play football against teams and have been shown wanting on numerous occasions. Perhaps playing that sort of sweeper system would be beneficial. At least we wouldn't be caught on the off sides like we have been. All you need then is a forward who can hold the ball up and wingers/midfielders who can run off. Just a thought anyway.

By the way Mell, now I know what you mean about taking the goal kicks. My right ankle was very painful this morning. Should be better by Sunday.
Replies:
Subject: Suffering


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 18:39:39 04/13/03 Sun
Thought for the first hour we were the best side. At 3-2 we could have gone on to win the game, and but for a couple of injuries we'd have had a chance. Losing Painter especially was a massive blow...

They were never 7-2 better than us, and the Ship Inn should murder them. Bring on the Boot.
Subject: TODAYS GAME


Author:
MELLOR
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:35:33 04/06/03 Sun
A LOT BETTER TODAY LADS NO BITCHING DURING THE MATCH A NICE CHANGE 1-0 AND A JAMMY GOAL AT THAT. ALL IN ALL A REFRESHING CHANGE TO THE LAST FEW GAMES. BE NICE TO HAVE A WIN SOME TIME SOON THOUGH .
Replies:
Subject: phucking Bad Day on the Betting Front


Author:
The Gambler
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 00:42:45 04/06/03 Sun
Firstly Pipe and McCoy let me down big time. I don't mind losing but I want a run for me money. Well that's me and Pipe finished - Pulled Up before the race got going. Then there's Cheltenham and the shit he put out there !!!

Then Across the Pond firstly The Expos let me down away at the Mets in me Baseball Bet.

Then to top it all off me banker of the day falls down as well with the Thrashers winning away from Home against the Islanders in the Ice Hockey !!!

I'm off to bed before I find something else to bet on
Subject: The National


Author:
The Gambler
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:48:39 04/05/03 Sat
Paddy Power are paying out on top 5 finishes... Better than Will Hill etc who are paying only on top 4
Subject: Lyricversity Challenge


Author:
Stevie Wonders Iron
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:57:39 04/04/03 Fri
Lets turn the heat up...

the opening verse from one of THE defining albums of my generation

"I'm a simple city boy
With simple country tastes
Smoking wild grown marijuana keeps that smile on my face
Depending on my mood, mood...."

Who? What? Where?
Subject: Another Lyric (but without the title in this time)


Author:
Rob
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:43:17 04/01/03 Tue
Here you go - same era as before...

The world is fucked and so am I,
Maybe it's the other way round I can't seem to decide,
Domestic refugees sink in the same boat as me,
We suffer alone and these days I don't want to go home.

Beats working eh?
Replies:
Subject: Erm Excuse Me....


Author:
Millers Agent
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 08:54:10 04/03/03 Thu
Less of the Former ISA Player, with regards to my Boy... My lad will be back playing again next season, once he's lost some Mick Tait on the Toxteth Riot that he's about to start.

Do you realise that by putting FORMER Isa player on the front page, I've had phone calls from 3am off clubs wanting to know if he fancy's signing.

P.S How is the Boy Howell Jnr classed as a player still as it feels like the last time he turned up was to collect his championship winning medal ;o)
Replies:
Subject: Web site


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:39:12 03/31/03 Mon
The website has been updated following Sunday. A few good pics put up.
Subject: Yet Another Lyric


Author:
Rob
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 21:41:25 03/29/03 Sat
Sorry about this - all this lyric posting has got me going through my collection and like Macca I have re-discovered some absolute classics...

Another gem from the era just after Farahs had ceased to be the cloth of choice for your self respecting casual....

Tears fill up my eyes and wash away the sorrow,
And somewhere in my mind I know there's no tomorrow,
Well I see you're leaving soon I guess you've had your fill,
And if I can't change your mind then no-one will.

And another to wish Ditch a speedy recovery...

The tequila sun's rising and the Harvey's Bristol moon is sinking,
Put the Binatone on snooze open up some Special Brews and start drinking.

Just found out as well that A are going to be doing the same festival as Ministry at the end of May. Hadn't heard a thing from Ministry for ages until Macca posted the lyric the othe day. Funny old world eh?

Shouldn't start drinking so early.

See youse tomorrow
Replies:
Subject: Lyrical challenge


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:18:23 03/30/03 Sun
Now this one is fucking easy.

Think Ben Sherman. Think drainpipe jeans. Think Winklepickers. A dark, sharp suit with a black thin tie.

"The ghost of a steam train - echoes down my track
It's at the moment bound for nowhere -
just going round and round
Playground kids and creaking swings -
lost laughter in the breeze"

It was a number one for chrissakes. I've put it on a plate. Who is going to finish it?
Replies:
Subject: Superstar or cheap bastard??


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 08:58:40 03/26/03 Wed
Saw Daryl Clare going into TK Maxx on Monday (with his wife and kid??). Surely Chester City's star player can afford to buy his threads at the Hugo Boss shop.

Whats up with that?
Replies:
Subject: FAO Maka/Mill - Darts tomorrow night...


Author:
Tyler Durden
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 16:24:56 03/24/03 Mon
What time does darts start and where is it this week? The Egerton again? If I can find time in my busy schedule of doing little to nothing I may pop along to offer my support.

On a sidenote, I see fixtures are coming thick and fast. Is that true about Ditch? He didn't make it to the Pub after his Indian last night he was in so much agony - apparently. We dismissed him as being a puff, but sounds serious.

Also, while I'm here, what the fuck happended last night??? Gangs and Scorsese alike were surely robbed.
Replies:
Subject: Welsh film academy, you know, issnit?


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:49:58 03/24/03 Mon
The following films are being made following funding from the Welsh film academy...

> >> >9 ½ Leeks
> >> >Porthcawl of the Wild
> >> >Trefforest Gump
> >> >Catatonia on a Hot Tin Roof
> >> >Cwmando
> >> >The Lost Boyos
> >> >Twin Leeks
> >> >A Bridgend too far
> >> >Wild Swansea
> >> >The Pembroker
> >> >Evan Can Wait
> >> >Gowering Inferno
> >> >Be Neath the Planet of the Apes
> >> >Ystalyfera Baby!
> >> >Cerys' Heroes
> >> >Huw Green was my Valet
> >> >Anglesey with Dirty Faces
> >> >Caerphilly Dreaming
> >> >The Good, the Bad and Llanelli
> >> >An American in Powys
> >> >Huw Dares Gwyneth
> >> >The Dai who loved me
> >> >Rotting Rhyl
> >> >The Prisoner of Rhondda
> >> >Who killed Roger Rarebit?
> >> >Who Aberdares wins
> >> >Live and let Dai
> >> >The full Ponty
> >> >Dai Hard
> >> >Independence Dai
> >> >The Wizard of Oswestry
> >> >License to Rhyl
> >> >Crocodile Tondu
> >> >My left Saundersfoot
> >> >CasaBlaina
> >> >In Beddgelert with Madonna
> >> >George of the Mumbles
> >> >Cool hand look you
> >> >Look you Bach in Bangor
> >> >A Fishguard called Rhondda
> >> >Reservoir Gogs
> >> >Sheepless in Seattle
> >> >The Eagle has Llandudno
> >> >The Magnificent Severn
> >> >Haverfordwest was won
> >> >Dial M4 Merthyr
Replies:
Subject: Whatever DID happen to Rob Reay?


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:43:45 03/24/03 Mon
Has he been kidnapped by aliens? Did he win a heat of Popstars - the Rivals and let it go to his head? Or did he desert all his mates and go and play for Mr Big Shot FC like someone else?
Replies:
Subject: The way we treat our women!!


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 08:38:05 03/21/03 Fri
Quite an easy one here, but top marks to the freak for being so honest!!

"Im not in love... but im gonna fuck you till, somebody better... comes along"
Replies:
Subject: New fixtures


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:52:21 03/24/03 Mon
Take a look at the new fixtures on the website. It is important that anybody who cannot play lets me or Braz know. Click on the link above for the website.

Thanks.
Subject: Joke of the day


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 15:51:03 03/24/03 Mon
>An Irishman moves into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry, walks into
>thepub
> > and promptly orders
> > three Guinesses.
> >
> > The bartender raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three
>beers,which
> > he drinks quietly at a table, alone. An hour later, the man
>hasfinished
> > the three beers and orders three more.
> >
> > This happens yet again.
> >
> > The next evening the man orders and drinks three beers at a time,
> > several times. Soon the entire town is whispering about the ManWho
> > Orders Three Beers.
> >
> > A week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of
>thetown.
> > "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why
>youalways
> > order three beers?"
> > 'Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies, "You see, I have
>twobrothers, and
> > one went to America,
> > and the other to Australia. We promised each other that we
>wouldalways
> > order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of keeping
>upthe
> > family bond."
> >
> > The bartender and the whole town was pleased with this answer,
>andsoon
> > the Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and
>sourceof
> > pride to the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners
>wouldcome
> > to watch him drink.
> >
> > Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers.
>Thebartender
> > pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the
> > evening. He orders only two beers. The word flies around
>town.Prayers
> > are offered for the soul of one of the brothers.
> >
> > The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here,me
> > first of all, want to
> > offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. Youknow-
>the two
> > beers and all..."
> >
> > The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be
>happyto
> > hear my two brothers are
> > alive and well. It's just that I, meself, have decided to give up
> > drinking for Lent."
Subject: Saltney Tafia


Author:
Mill
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 00:34:17 03/19/03 Wed
Nice to see the Tafia come along to the darts tonight and give the Team a bit of support. Cheers Lads, and if any of you wanna come the end of season Piss Up in a few weeks time then you're more than welcome.
Replies:
Subject: Bet of the week


Author:
Online Punter
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 17:50:13 03/19/03 Wed
For my bet of the week it's time to go across the Pond as it's March Madness Time and William Hill are offering a Massive 20/1 on Duke winning the NCAA Basketball tournament.

In two weeks time when it all ends, don't say I Didn't tell you
Replies:
Subject: Lyrics


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:08:54 03/20/03 Thu
"if you got a doubt 'bout baby
the memory is on the bed
why why why why why
darlin' uh it don't know
when my time is on
might tell me never do it on his own
if my time was all as is yours
make me burn a wish
when my time with you is brutish
no I'll never not ever"

A sort of a follow on from the same time as those below. Superb High Society mosh night tunes!
Replies:
Subject: Jokey


Author:
NWAS
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:25:02 03/20/03 Thu
Bought a new car radio today. Class it is. Voice activated.

I shout 'jazz', and Miles Davis floats through the airwaves to meet me...

I shout 'rock', and Faith No More yell at me...

I shout 'soul' and Otis Redding soothes me.

On the way back from the shop, two young lads run out in front of the car. In my panic stricken emergency stop I blurted 'fucking kids', and Gary Glitter came on!
Subject: Lyric for scousers everywhere


Author:
Rob
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 13:22:57 03/19/03 Wed
Here you go Mill...

My girl, she's one too,
She'll go and get her a skirt,
Stick it under her shirt,
She grabbed a razor for me,
And she did it just like that.

When she wants something,
She don't want to pay for it,
She'll walk right through the door,
Walk right through the door.
Replies:
Subject: Another Lyric


Author:
Rob
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 22:42:26 03/18/03 Tue
Same era as FNM - same genre as well...

They load the clip in omnicolour
They pack the 9 they fire it at prime time
The sleeping gas every home was like Alcatraz
And mother fuckers lost their minds

No escape from the mass mind rape
Play it again Jack and then rewind the tape
And then play it again and again and again
Until your mind is locked in

Believing all the lies that they're telling you
Buying all the products that they're selling you
They say jump and you say how high
You're brain-dead..................
Replies:
Subject: Greta lyrics


Author:
Xander Cage
[ Edit | View ]
Date Posted: 12:03:48 03/19/03 Wed
I new the epic one, maka, but mill seems to have a hold on getting in the first replies.

How bout this for a great fnm lyric...

"Its always funny until someone gets hurt... and then... its just hilarious."
Replies:
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