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Date Posted: 08:12:31 01/07/02 Mon
Author: Fenja
Subject: I got a question about English...

I had a little discussion with my brother's wife Karin yesterday.
She asked me what is the correct way to tell a person that you feel sorry for him. I said "poor you". She told me I was wrong because her mother had said that to a housemaid(?) in a hotelroom in USA, and she got mad at her. She said "poor you" because there was alot to clean up. She didn't mean "poor you, you must not have a lot of money...".
I asked Karin what she meant the correct answer was and she said "I feel sorry for you". I thought you could use both comments in this situation. And I didn't think "poor you" was an insult". Maybe the housemaid was just annoyed because there was alot to clean up and didn't like getting comments about it! So who's right here?

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Replies:

[> When talking to a maid, "poor you" might sound too condescending (the speaker is superior to the one being spoken to). Among close friends or relatives, "poor you" is probably acceptable if said in a humorous or extra-caring manner. When talking to the maid, "I feel sorry for you" is probably the best choice. Hope this helps! -- PJ, 10:05:09 01/07/02 Mon


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[> [> Agreed...I would probably say something like, "I'm sorry that you have to clean up this big mess". Actually, I'm always apologizing to the school janitor because as much as I try to have the kids clean up after themselves, they sometimes get away before I realize how trashed the carpet is. -- Susan W, 14:28:08 01/13/02 Sun


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[> Thanks! Do you think this would be different if it happened in England? Or is it the same there? I'm just wondering because my english teacher never said anything about this when I used to go to school. -- Fenja, 10:26:04 01/07/02 Mon

nt


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[> [> Well, I'm not sure about the cultural difference...anyone out there from England? -- PJ, 17:15:35 01/07/02 Mon


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[> [> [> British viewpoint -- viv, 20:00:06 01/10/02 Thu

Tricky one. The chances are the maid might not be a native English speaker, so who knows? If I knew the person was a native it wouldn't be a problem, but since the misunderstanding's on the part of the listener in this case,I think PJ's solution sounds safer. Or make it clearer - poor you, having to clear up all this mess.


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[> Thank you! :) -- Fenja, 11:36:11 01/11/02 Fri


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