Re: what do I do? -- Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

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Date Posted: 12:10:24 05/25/16 Wed
Author: WendiT
Subject: Re: what do I do?
In reply to: rachel 's message, "what do I do?" on 02:36:20 05/25/16 Wed

Welcome Rachel. I am so sorry that you are going through this but I am happy you found us.

There are many things that you have written that raise red flags:

(1) Your intuition is screaming at you. It is telling you that something is not right. Don't shut it down. Listen to it and tap into it. The number 1 thing I regret is not listening to my gut.

(2) My experience was that after the birth of my second child my then GIDH turned up the volume on his activities. By the time my second was 3 months old I knew that there was something terribly wrong. I have read of other who have reported the same thing. My take on it is that the GIDH now knows you are stuck. In their minds you are at your most vulnerable point caring for a newborn and you are stuck. You can't leave them and they can go do what they want. This is not the thinking or the reaction of a loving partner. You should be celebrated and supported at this time by your partner.

(3) Gay porn, gay friend, secretive and possessive phone usage. Enough said.

(4) I'm okay, You are insane. This is the one that really sends chills down my spine. Your partner would rather create the fantasy that you are insane than admit his reality that he is gay. This is the biggest red flag blowing in the wind! I am sorry but this is not the actions and response of a partner that cares.

It is not your hormones, or your mind, or your post-pregnancy weight. It is him. Stop having sex with him. Talk to your gynecologist and get tested. Take care of your infant and yourself. Don't get stuck on requiring honesty or waiting for it. He probably is in deep denial. If he is not honest with himself he won't be honest with you either. You may not be able to make any moves just yet, but you can start taking care of yourself and your child. Put the two of you first.

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Re: what do I do? -- rachel, 13:43:12 05/25/16 Wed