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Date Posted: 02:36:20 05/25/16 Wed
Author: rachel (confused upset)
Subject: what do I do?

Hi everyone . Well I'm new here so I'll start by introducing myself. I'm rachel , I'm 29 from England I have a 12 year old son and a 4 month old daughter .I have been with my partner for 4.5 years. Since my daughter was a couple of months old I've been having doubts about my partner .we'd been arguing quite a bit because of me mainly snapping all the probably due to lack of sleep and hormones .anyway my partner started being a bit strange with his phone taking it everywhere with him this went on for a while when one night he was sleeping his phone went off at a strange time like 1 in the morning or something . Something inside me urged me to look ....I did it was a message from a guy it didn't say anything bad or rude but I scrolled down to read all of the messages . Basically my partner was messing regular seeing how he was doing but at weird times if the guy didn't reply he'd message again the following day I didn't think it was odd until I read the part where the other guy said when are you coming to see me and my partner said soon I'll have to try and sort it when are you available then he said " I have thought about it alot though " this to me was bizarre? ?? The guy he was speaking is gay and proud about it I know that for a fact . After spending the whole night awake and in turmoil my partner got up for work at about 4.30 and I couldnt hold it in I asked him why he's messaging this guy and is he gay he denied it said it was a friend but he's never once ever mention this person evr in whole time we were together . He said I'm crazy and need to stop accusing him I went on to say that if he is gay then he needs to come clean now so on ect. Also we were both sexually abused as children and confided in each other and only each other I explained that sometimes when that happens it can make you gay? Am I wrong? I was angry and upset with him buy the main feeling was how am I gonna rebuild my life all I could think of was my baby girl it was deverstating . Eventually he talked me round and I came to the conclusion that I'm insane he's not gay or bi he's my man a very manly man and very attentive in the bedroom he can't be gay ......can he? Then a few weeks back I find gay porn on his phone he doesn't know how it got there he said it may have popped up from opening a page on a porn website but insists he was watching women . I'm so confused I don't know what to do. I don't want to be intimate now because I feel like my body is a laughing stock I've gained alot weight during my pregnancy so that probably doesn't help hoe I feel about us please help I don't know what to do I live him so much I can't imagine life without him but I wish he could be honest with me and also himself

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Replies:

Re: what do I do? -- lily, 03:08:32 05/25/16 Wed
- Re: what do I do? -- rachel, 10:54:13 05/25/16 Wed
Re: what do I do? -- Still Wondering, 10:48:37 05/25/16 Wed
- Re: what do I do? -- rachel, 11:02:32 05/25/16 Wed
  - Re: what do I do? -- Still Wondering, 11:59:21 05/25/16 Wed
    - Re: what do I do? -- rachel, 13:01:03 05/25/16 Wed
Re: what do I do? -- Susan (There is a pattern...), 11:37:44 05/25/16 Wed
- Re: what do I do? -- rachel, 12:22:08 05/25/16 Wed
Re: what do I do? -- WendiT, 12:10:24 05/25/16 Wed
- Re: what do I do? -- rachel, 13:43:12 05/25/16 Wed
Re: what do I do? -- Patti (welcome), 14:21:13 05/25/16 Wed
- Re: what do I do? -- rachel, 15:08:59 05/25/16 Wed
  - Re: what do I do? -- lily, 18:01:22 05/25/16 Wed
  - Re: what do I do? -- Patti (email), 19:24:41 05/25/16 Wed
- Re: what do I do? -- Jude, 11:50:46 05/26/16 Thu
Re: what do I do? -- Vicky, 19:30:57 05/25/16 Wed