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Date Posted: 12:00:44 05/27/16 Fri
Author: Kel
Subject: Good for you, Melissa!
In reply to: Melissa 's message, "Re: Gotta say how proud of all of you that I am" on 17:50:29 05/26/16 Thu

It's interesting how much clarity we get when not daily being bathed in bullshit. Lol. And how you can't seem to wade out of the ocean until you intentionally head for the shore.

You will continue seeing "truths" for years. They won't necessarily be gut-wrenching or heartbreaking, but you may look back on something a few years from now and know what was probably going on at the time. It happened to me about a year ago - a good 4 years after disclosure.

Please forgive yourself for being tricked. There is some sort of shame associated with it - I assume it's because we feel foolish and naive for not having seen the glaring truth earlier. However, it shows that you were operating properly within your marriage - you had faith and trust in the person that you loved and whom had professed love to you. You assumed that they were loving you the right way - why would you think otherwise? So rest knowing that a) You did NOTHING wrong, and b)You're capable of loving hard and strong even in less than ideal circumstances. That means that someday, if you so desire, you will have a WONDERFUL love when you find someone who is honest and authentic and loves you back as hard as you love. It will make your former relationship feel like you were spitting into the wind, and never even knew it should be different. You faced battering winds every.single.day and kept your head down and kept walking. Can you understand the strength that takes? And how easy and pleasant a different relationship will be when the headwinds only come along as storms, rather than the daily weather? Know that you are strong and resilient - THAT's why you were able to keep going despite his lies. It wasn't because you were foolish or naive; it was because you were strong, faithful and loving. KNOW THIS IN YOUR BONES. It makes a great deal of difference.

Kel

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Replies:

Re: Good for you, Melissa! -- Rob (bones), 12:26:00 05/27/16 Fri
Re: Good for you, Melissa! -- Melissa, 14:44:12 05/27/16 Fri
Re: Good for you, Melissa! -- Bonnie (Thanks), 16:16:45 05/27/16 Fri