Re: Feels like I'm dying -- Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

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Date Posted: 18:36:31 05/29/16 Sun
Author: Susan (So sorry you're here)
Subject: Re: Feels like I'm dying
In reply to: Josie 's message, "Feels like I'm dying" on 06:22:38 05/29/16 Sun

Thank you Josie for sharing your story. That took a lot of COURAGE. I'm so sorry that you are hurting. The only way out of this situation is through and rather than give you suggestions, I'm going to share what helped me through my ordeal. I love this quote by Maya Angelou: "When people show you who they are, believe them." You've just seen the true version of your husband. Not the mask he's been wearing all his life. He'll try to lie, hide, beg, plead, and do whatever to put that mask back on. But you've seen who he really is. The mask is off and your new life is just starting.

Here is how I moved on:

1. As painful as it was, I accepted reality.
2. I agree with Abby, don't let any experts tell you what you already know. If he's doing drugs, sleeping with men, and lying to you about it, this means three things. He's a drug addict, gay, and a liar.
3. Do everything (legal and safe) it takes to exhaust that anger. If you need to have someone watch your baby while you cry and entire weekend. Do it. If you need to text 'F*CKER' to him 1000 times over a weekend. Do it. But DON'T isolate. Don't let him put you in a closet because that's where he lives.
4. Share your feelings with someone else. Not the world. Just one person. I'd recommend reaching out to another woman who's been through this process. She can be like your sponsor.
5. Remember that only time will heal this wound.

I'm so sorry you're in this situation but so happy you found the Straight Spouse Network. You're seeing your real husband for the first time. Now focus on yourself, your child, and your safety. Good luck!

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Replies:

Re: Feels like I'm dying -- Anne (so sorry), 23:11:15 05/29/16 Sun

Re: Feels like I'm dying -- Abby, 11:56:56 05/30/16 Mon

Re: Feels like I'm dying -- PrivateGal, 04:20:05 05/31/16 Tue
- Re: Feels like I'm dying -- Still Wondering (credit reports), 23:28:58 05/31/16 Tue
  - Re: Feels like I'm dying -- Abby, 08:47:13 06/01/16 Wed
  - Credit Info. -- PrivateGal, 02:10:25 06/03/16 Fri