Re: Update -- Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 02:02:43 05/18/16 Wed
Author: Patti (one more thing)
Subject: Re: Update
In reply to: WendiT 's message, "Re: Update" on 15:45:46 05/17/16 Tue

I was in a MOM, for about 18 months after my former husband came out.

It was a matter of practicality for both of us.
There were very simple expectation:
I would never have any kind of sex with him again. (nor did I want to)
The arrangement would continue only as long as it was necessary. We were business partners and still had a 17 year old at home.
He had the latitude to continue his relationship with his lover.
I had the latitude to pursue a relationship with a lover (which I did...and it made ALL THE DIFFERENCE).

I would do it again, only so I could say, "I did it, too."
However, I don't recommend it unless the overriding issue is financial.

Vicky,
I DO wish you the best.
I wish even more for your child/ren.
The good news is that you know The Truth.
I hope it "works" for you, for however long that might be.
You will be back here. You will be here after he leaves you for someone else. Know that you'll continue to be welcomed and no one will every say "I told you so".

There is a difference between being criticized or judged for choices and being told the experiences of those, here, and those many of us have come to know over the years. I know that I take no pleasure is posting anything that is considered to be negative. The fact is, this is a monumentally negative experience on many levels for nearly all of us. In short, it bites.
Being told what one needs to hear, rather than what one wants to hear are two decidedly different things.

The reader gets to choose to pay attention, consider the sources, and then decide. However, please don't mistake the heartfelt advice here as anything other than what it is: folks who have "walked the walk" (in some cases, nearly identical circumstances to yours) and are trying to save you some of the heartache they experienced.

Again, no one here wishes you anything but the best...
and we will be here when you need more support.

Patti in CA

By the way, You're correct about the

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]