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Date Posted: 04:52:48 05/21/16 Sat
Author: Casseopia
Subject: Re: Sexual abuse as a young boy and TGT
In reply to: Rob 's message, "Re: Sexual abuse as a young boy and TGT" on 23:06:19 05/20/16 Fri

I'm not sure if my situation or yours is harder to deal with Rob...

I'm very sorry about your situation and you don't deserve all of that venom and stress. Do you think maybe she's lashing out at you because of a heavy load of guilt on her own shoulders? Projection on her part. Sometimes people have to paint you as the bad guy because it makes them feel less guilty about what they did to you...

Our situations are very different but on the upside for you (although I'm sure it doesn't feel like it...) is that there is now a clear line in your relationship. She is leaving, there is no way back and the hurt runs very deep by the sounds of it. No ambiguity.

In my situation, he is very, very sorry and saying it was temporary and will never happen again. He now knows why it happened and the need to act out is gone. He will do ANYTHING to keep me. (I'm not saying all of these things are true but this is what I am hearing every day)

This, to me, seems much, much harder than the sudden and shocking break you are experiencing... because the loving part of me wants to believe him and whispers in my ear; "What if he's telling the truth?" Whereas for you, there is no going back, no attempt to re-conciliate.

In reality, he has lied and lied and lied again and I must always remind myself of that fact. I know it's not the case but it feels like I'm throwing away a lot of love and abandoning my best friend in his time of need. In reality, he wears a very good mask, thinks it's ok to lie and cheat and I (and maybe also he, at this point) have no way of knowing if the sexual acting out will come up again. By the sounds of things (on this site at least) it will probably never go away.

I hope your wife moves out soon and some real healing can finally begin for you...

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