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Date Posted: Tue, April 18 2023, 20:59:35
Author: Betsy BFS
Subject: QOTD for Wednesday, 4/19/23

Happy Times, Lallylovies!

"Mama, come get this child and take her far away," said daughter #3. Her daughter is 13.

"Mama, come get this child and take him to Maine and don't let him leave the basement," said daughter #1. Her son is 13.

No. Just No. Not that either daughter would ever send their child away, but No. Both of the mothers are fierce mama bears, but they both have 13 year olds. I sooo remember this picture. Both of these grandchildren are acting exactly like their moms did, so I get it very well.

Grandson who is 13 really IS a pain in the a**, as was his mom. He's sneaky and his mom was much more in-your-face about it, but the frustration and anger is the same. He is absolutly sure he is smarter than everyone he has ever known, but has told his mother it isn't fair when she talks to him. She has a bigger vocabulary than he does. He busily looks up each word he doesn't know so he can keep ahead of her. So I sent her a bunch of Gaelic words, with their definitions, so she'll always have a bigger vocabulary.

Granddaughter who is 13 is EXACTLY like her mother, except she has perfected crying hysterically into a pillow while rocking back and forth. I'd be concerned, but I've seen this tactic before. Her mother didn't cry and rock. She hurled fury as a weapon to deflect any issue she didn't want to discuss. Jai is getting very good at it, too.

So now, I am teaching my kids how to torture their kids for shock value. What a Grammie, eh? Tonight, I told daughter #3 how to carefully pick the time, when it's most unexpected, to smash something that is very loudly breakable, by hurling it onto the floor. There are some rules for this tactic. First, it only works if you do it every three to four years, and it has to be WAY out of character. Second, no yelling. They expect that. Furious stare, silently smash something. Extra credit if you can manage a maniacle face while doing this. It also is effective to glare and make huffing and growling sounds while furiously scanning the croud after you've caught their attention. Third, make sure to smash something that you don't like and that doesn't splinter into a million pieces, because you'll be cleaning it up and big chunks are easier than tiny ones. Four. It only works for about ten minutes. Then you need to find another surprise torture technique because throwing something only works if it comes out of the blue, but no more than every three to four years.

Yes, I really did have this discussion with my daughter. She did tell me that I wasn't scarey at all, but it was fun watching me try to be.

So much for inventive parenting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following quote is from 'An Echo in the Bone,' by Diana Gabaldon, Chapter 41, "Shelter From the Storm." CVopyright© 2014 by Diana Gabaldon. All rights reserved.


"He's dead," Rachel said, her voice colorless.

"Yes." He didn't know how he was meant to feel in such a situation and had no real idea how he DID feel. He turned away, though, with a slight sense of relief, and came to look at the prisoner.

"Did she...?"

"She tried to cut Denny's throat, but she stepped on my hand and woke me. I saw the knife and screamed, and he siezed her, and..." She pulled a hand through her hair, and he saw that she had lost her cap, and her hair was loose and tangled.

"I sat on her," she said, "and Denny rolled her up in the sheet. I don't think she can speak," Rachel added, as he stooped to look at the woman. "Her tongue is split."

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Replies:

[> Oh Betsy, I remember my DS at 13! For a whole summer, neither of us could look or speak to the other without a major argument ensuing. It was horrible, and much out of character for me. It took a LONG time for me to decide which battles were worth fighting - plenty of them! - and it got slightly better. It was an ugly year, though. It was never dramatic with DD; she's always been pretty even keeled, except for when she was a clingy Mama's girl. DS has run hot and cold since he was an infant. Thank goodness we all survived it. -- DianaH, Wed, April 19 2023, 13:56:12


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[> [> The teen years - it IS amazing we all survived them. It’s very interesting doing it as a grandma though, isn’t it? Diana, do you have any grandchildren? Re today’s quote, they were a horrible nasty couple weren’t they? Yukky. I think this is where Rachel made her intentions clear about Ian vs William. -- Kathy in PA, Wed, April 19 2023, 16:35:53


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[> [> Diana,, I so know how this goes. Those LONG times of continuous emotional upheaval are exhausting in every way. Having tenuous relationships with your kids, even when they're adults, is always an Oh Good Gravy. What is it going to be this time? Nice conversation, or not-so-nice? Stomach in knots with each ring of the telephone. We parents need to hug each other and repeat the mantra: This, too, shall pass. -- Betsy BFS, Wed, April 19 2023, 21:35:39


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[> [> [> Betsy, no grandchildren yet. Fortunately, we can MOSTLY look back on those years and laugh. Our kids are now 32 & 28, college grads, in their own homes, working jobs they love, and being responsible citizens. We LOVE spending time with them, especially when they STILL bring friends over for a party. Some days I wonder how we survived it, but the house is a LOT quieter most of the time. Thank goodness for the Hooligan kittens to keep DH and I entertained. -- DianaH, Fri, April 21 2023, 12:53:06


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[> I love the image of Rachel sitting on the woman and Denny, working with his sister in a totally Quaker way, wrapping her up in a sheet. Poor William was true to form as a good soldier is, and handled his fight in a more permanent manner. -- Betsy BFS, Wed, April 19 2023, 20:19:37


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[> [> I think Rachel and Denny have been lucky in choosing their companions. I know Young Ian has been trying to walk a nonviolent path but he is who he is. -- kgp, Thu, April 20 2023, 16:10:45


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[> [> [> I think Rachel knows Ian well, and accepts him for who he is. Ian respects Rachel's beliefs, as well. They're a good duo. -- BFS, Thu, April 20 2023, 20:13:17


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