VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, [4], 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 20:08:45 02/22/02 Fri
Author: Erlic Eastlore
Subject: Return, and somewhat changed
In reply to: Saras 's message, "...fluffy" on 14:24:06 02/22/02 Fri

What am I? It was an interesting question for speculation, one that Erlic started to think about as he sat on the ground, not so much tired but somewhat drained. He had killed, and killed wildly to sate that which grew within him, that which he felt responsible for, that which he hated with a passion.

What am I? The answer to that question was the key to spirituality, and perhaps the hardest to accept. Erlic thought about his mentor’s words, and how significantly spoken they had been at the time.

We are torn between our physical identity, and the desire to be spirit. Death is an inevitability to one, while the other promises eternal life. The choice must be made if we are to avoid confusion; more importantly, once a choice has been made, we should follow it through to its conclusion. If we cannot find our answers, then a new path should be sought. Avoid attempting to walk the middle line because it is full of confusion, and despair. This statement at first sight seems to contradict the need for balance, and harmony in our lives. When we understand the question asked, all becomes clear. What am I? It is a question of identity, not a choice of paths to take. The choice is simple enough; are we the spirit, or the body?

Even now as he sat on the ground, the guild master realized he was cold; not in the sense of the nighttime temperature, but in the sense of closing out his soul. When he had first come to Loris, he had no friends, and cared not for making any. At the time he was quite complacent with that decision. It was only after several years of traveling with other adventurers, that he learned it was a necessity to learn to become somewhat like them. The thought was foreign to him at the time, but over the years he managed to make the transition.

Now however, as his eyes sought the area around him in a cold, and calculating manner, he realized that perhaps he was wrong, or possibly there were decisions to make as to when to be a friend, and when to simply be cold, and uncaring. He truly believed, at least in his own mind, that he was not like the others in certain respects. To him, they chose the body, and life became a lot simpler. There was birth, life, and death. Life was influenced by ourselves, and lady luck. In a body with only a single life span, no one made any attempt to explain the unfairness of life. It was down to the luck of the draw, and one didn’t have to be overly concerned about it.

But he had chosen a spiritual path, and thus life became more complicated. He was faced with reincarnation, karma, and multiple paths to follow. The trouble in being spiritual was that it didn’t belong in the physical world. While in the physical world, the spirit’s influence was limited. Its role, however, needed to be defined clearly. Was he to be a passive observer, or an active influence in the physical?

It was quite simple, at least in his mind, that if one chose the physical life, one would have to understand the body. He had already chosen the spiritual life, and understood the spirit. However, neither one could be given the attributes of the other. They were not the same, and any attempt to merge the two was the main reason for inconsistencies within one’s life.

For now, or at least until he understood, and realized more, he chose the spiritual, and decided to remain under its influence. It was a return to his past, his beliefs, and his coldness. He realized that this would cause others to perceive him as being aloof, but it had been his decision. He had traveled that path before, and returning to it would require very little reconstruction of his own self.

The guild master finally stood up, and took a deep breath, performing a few of the yoga mantras to calm him, and prepare himself. There was one main determination that the assassin had at the moment, and that was for the eventual death of Tegol. He would see to it one way or another, whether friends helped him, or whether he handled the matter on his own.

He returned to the tower, unconscious of his outward appearance, blood stained from the various battles he had fought, simply to relieve the inner anger that gnawed at his soul. For now he felt refreshed, revitalized, and was ready to forge onward, always with the one aspiration in his mind, the decimation of the crime lord that had killed, and hurt his friends.

He entered the kitchen feeling quite calm, even though his eyes depicted a sort of detachment. Marz had just finished asking his whereabouts, and he thought it appropriate to answer.

“I’m right here Marz,” the guild master stated as he surveyed everyone at the table.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Forum timezone: GMT-6
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.