I know you guys are right but it doesnt make it any easier to be in my life at any point. I have never had a reason to be unhappy or depressed but the simple fact is that I am and I cant even control it. I hate feeling as thought I have no self worth and that the only people who are ever going to love me are my family and a hand full of friends........... -- NSYNC Skeedettes

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Date Posted: 23:26:06 05/12/01 Sat
Author: j-skee
Subject: I know you guys are right but it doesnt make it any easier to be in my life at any point. I have never had a reason to be unhappy or depressed but the simple fact is that I am and I cant even control it. I hate feeling as thought I have no self worth and that the only people who are ever going to love me are my family and a hand full of friends...........
In reply to: j-skee 's message, "confused life" on 08:46:49 05/12/01 Sat

This is why I am going to try my darn best to never let myself have another feeling of any kind ever again. Yet again I have let myself get hurt. I'm the biggest fool that I know. I'm never going to learn my lesson. I had a friend at work today tell me that the thought of rejection is actually better to deal with than actually being rejected to your face, boy is he right. This way I can let myself down a little bit easier. All I keep thinking is that, yep I did it again. I let myself get carried away and now I'm going to hurt for it. I quiet, I give up. I am going to resolve myself to being alone the rest of my life. Why should I even bother anymore when any time I do the outcome is the same. I know its all my fault and in no way his. I have no one else to blaim but myself. I'm tired an fed up with my life. Thank you guys so much for listening to me. I love and miss you, especially right now when I need a shoulder to cry on. I hope you guys are okay. I will drop by tomorrow for a word or two. Love you.

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Replies:

Kimmy.. -- A, 00:07:07 05/13/01 Sun
- Thanks Anna!!!!!!! I have very seriously thought that my depression problems may not be just self inflicted hatred for myself but that it might be something I have not control over..... -- j-skee, 09:05:41 05/13/01 Sun
I failed to mention that I still don't really know weather or not he likes me but there is a really huge ? (NT) -- j-skee, 08:41:23 05/13/01 Sun