Hi Denise -- DietLowCarb.com

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Date Posted: 10:32:25 08/27/02 Tue
Author: Sherry
Subject: Hi Denise
In reply to: Denise 's message, "Help!!!" on 04:47:43 08/27/02 Tue

Remember there is no "giving up". Believe me I have felt that way too so many times. Yesterday for instance. But what is the alternative? If you just give up what happens? You gain weight. Then what? Do you want to weigh 300? 400? 500? I mean most of us have an upper limit I guess, but for me at my top weight I was very close to 300 pounds (282) and there didn't seem to be an end in sight. I just kept on gaining.

So now when I really want to "give up", I think about that. Do I want to gain back and wind up weighing 300 pounds or more? Hell no! I couldn't stand living in my own body when I weighed so much. I couldn't bend right, I couldn't tie my own shoes, my joints were all aching all the time due to carrying so much weight. I couldn't tell you what condition my heart was in or whether I was flirting with diabetes and high blood pressure or not (I still seemed pretty healthy other than being obese), but probably some of those diseases were just around the corner.

So first off tell yourself "there is no giving up". What you need to do is keep searching until you find what works for you. For me low carb worked, especially after I read the book, understood what was happening, and made the committment to try it for two weeks.

Committment. That is a very important word. It isn't an easy one to live with, but once you have made a committment you have GOT to live up to your committment. If you don't then you lose trust in yourself. Self trust is very important. Self trust leads to confidence. Confidence gives you the strength to continue.

You sound like I felt just before I started Atkin's for the very first time. (Heck you sound a little like I do now when I've alerady learned what low carb can do). The point is to set yourself a goal. Atkins wants you to commit for 2 weeks at the beginning. What you do after the 2 weeks is up is up to you, but make that firm commitment that you won't cheat for 2 weeks. Then stick to it. Stick to 2 weeks. (If you can't commit for that long commit for 1 week with the idea that you will try and have the strength to recommit after the week is up).

Take baby steps if you must, but make sure that whatever you do commit to doing, you stick to and live up to. Lying to yourself only makes you feel weaker and less able to accomplish your goal. Set small goals. Every time you make one, you will rejoice and feel stronger, more able to make the next one.

Focus your goals on process, not on results. Celebrate your successes. Tell yourself "I will stick to my diet for 1 day" (or 3 days or 2 weeks, whatever you feel like you can do) and when that time period is up, congratulate yourself. "HEY I did it!" Then try again. Make a new committment and stick to that. Keep a record of your successes, and forget about your failures.

You goofed? Ok well then minimize the goof, not only in reality, but in your own mind. Ok you are going along well and some candy beckons you. You have a piece. Oops. BUT, remember that one piece of candy isn't going to affect your progress so much as thinking "I blew it, I'm scum, I can't do this, might as well give up and start tomorrow (which sometimes turns into next week)"

Say instead 'ok well that was some unplanned for carbs, my next meal will be low carb and this one little thing won't screw things up too badly as long as I stop right here."

Your self confidence isn't stolen by your body, but by your mind. Successes, which are celebrated, however small, will fuel your confidence. "I've done it before, I can do it again". What is the worst thing that can happen if you try to diet and fail? You remain fat. Ok, well that isn't fun, but fat isn't really the issue. The way you feel about who you are is.

Let me let you in on a secret. Most women, no matter what they weigh, think of themselves as fat. Even anorexic little nothings think of themselves as fat. Kinda sad, but true. You don't say how much you weigh, but I doubt if you are as fat as you think you are.

Let me tell you something else. Most of us judge ourselves much more harshly than others do. I learned that in a very strange way. I was "fat" never looked at people or smiled, felt so self conscious about being fat, hated my own body etc. You know the feeling. No one seemed interested in me. No wonder, my attitude showed.

Then I started working out, started losing some weight. I was still fat, but started gaining some confidence in myself. All of a sudden I had all kinds of friends. What had changed? My body? No not by that much. My attitude is what had changed. People see you as who you are, not what you weigh. No one judged my still fat body nearly as much as I judged it myself. But my change in confidence level, my change in self acceptance, now that made a difference.

Learn to love yourself, warts and all. Set small goals you can live with and then meet them. Focus on progress not on perfection. Celebrate your successes. Forget about your failures, but learn from them and vow to do better next time. Minimize failures. Realize that you aren't perfect, but that each time you fail it is an opportunity to either grow stronger or weaker. If you say "ok I slipped, but it will be a little slip" and then move on from there, you grow stronger. If you say "I can't do it, I give up" you grow weaker. It all depends on your attitude toward yourself and your ability to achieve your dreams.

You CAN do this thing. Believe it. Many before you have, and you can too. Say you go along and you stick to low carb for 3 days and then you have something you shouldn't have had. Which is more important? The three days you hung in there? Or the one time you slipped? Depends on how you look at it doesn't it? You can say "I cheated, I'm a failure" or you can say "Hey I did it for three whole days! Next time it is going to be four!"

You know something? I'm glad you posted, because writing all this to you is like writing it to myself. I too need "pep talks" from time to time (like lately).

We CAN do this thing.

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