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| [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, [3], 4 ] |
| Subject: Re: Gay/Straight Courses | |
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Author: Jessie |
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Date Posted: 22:08:29 08/22/04 Sun In reply to: Lord Byron 's message, "a few thoughs on my first sensuality workshop at One Taste" on 10:50:54 08/22/04 Sun While Byron's comments are, to me as one of the lesbians, somewhat difficult to digest, I do agree with him on one point. I think that the class SHOULD be split gay/straight. As a lesbian who has suffered plenty of discrimination for her sexual preference, and who fights very hard for equality (I do political activism work specifically for the gay community)--- I think that when it comes to sensuality work, we should actually be separated! Not to try to create a disconnect, but to cater to two different desires. To tell you the truth Byron, I didn't know there was going to be a demo of doing a man in the course. I knew about the doing a woman demo, but it never occurred to me that they would have doing a man. Perhpas it should have. But I just heard it on the spot, and it actually took courage for me to say "NO" to watching it. That decision felt "right" to me. It was only after being confronted about that decision that I went into "fear" mode. Men expressing anger towards me and my fellow lesbians about our choice fed that fear--- "look, I'm rejecting a man, and he's getting angry, his anger is scaring me, so the next time I see a man getting near me, I'm going to remember this anger, and feel the fear again"--- it's a cycle. However, I did hear Nicole's suggestion that I should step up to being powerful in all aspects of my life, including not shrinking away with fear around straight men--- and on that point, I agree with her. I really am stepping into my power--- of course, everyone has moments when they falter, but that is something I'm really concious of now. So, despite the tension, I was able to turn the mixed course into a "winning" situation. However, when I want to have fun exploring sensuality, I want to do it with other bi/lesbian women. But, to my knowledge, there are no such classes. As of yet, Nicole doesn't teach them, and I don't know anyone else who does. When I took my first class with Nicole, last summer, there wasn't even a woman for me to partner with (we did sensual touch, but not DOing in that course). I also have participated in women's circles (like Hestia, through Arete) and we've been partnered with men's circles for man-woman dynamics nights--- and again, I found myself in the situation that the exercise was not serving me. But I turned the experience into a "winning" one rather than a "losing" one by asking the facilators (Jerry Candeleria--- I love that guy! and Erika Raeven--- she's smokin'!) if I could become "a man" for the night, so that I could be partnered with the women. So I was taken out of my women's group, inducted into the men's group (i put on a sexy pin stripe suit), and ultimately, it was a blast--- and because a lot of the women were bi, and I knew how to communicate with them better than the men did, they ended up fighting over me! (potentially to the real men's dismay) But despite the fact that you can turn a "losing" situation into a "winning" situation, I think, if you have the resources, you should start with the ideal situaton--- after all, a sensuality course is about realizing your desires. But what I DON'T want is for this to be seen as "kick the gay people out of the class"--- ultimately, my desire would be for there to be a lesbian class offered. If that is something that Nicole is interested in teaching, great. If she's not, I'd love it if there were a lesbian out there who would like to teach it. There are SO MANY classes out there that cater to the straight community--- finding one of those should not be a problem--- you see, everything on earth is made to cater to the straight community. When was the last time you saw a billboard advertising calogne with two guys kissing on it? But there are about 50 with a guy and girl kissing that I passed just driving from my house to One Taste. In the course, us lesbians were expressing a desire for the class to cater to OUR desire AS WELL AS yours. We didn't ask you to leave the room--- we left the room. So please, don't get angry about the fact that us gays crashed "your" course--- it was our course too. I actually took this class (1. because I like and trust nicole) and 2.) because Elana approached me with "there will be lesbians in the course, so you could partner with a woman"--- that's the most lesbianic sensuality course offer I've been given! I don't mean to go into victim mode, I am simply expressing that, for us lesbians, there is much progress to be made--- much to be desired. I would, as a strong, powerful woman, like to express a desire for a lesbian course--- not to avoid men, or to man hate (I don't hate men at all, my best friend is a man! surprised?) but simply to create a situation that more directly caters to my desire. Cuz, baby, I got a lot of desire that I am ready to confront! [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| Subject | Author | Date |
 Try this one on for size....(no pun intended) | Suz | 09:33:59 08/24/04 Tue |
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