| Subject: Re: Changing my life / Becky -- telling your mom |
Author:
Deb
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Date Posted: 01:56:47 10/15/04 Fri
In reply to:
Becky
's message, "Re: Changing my life / Becky -- telling your mom" on 08:34:54 10/14/04 Thu
>>I have a tip for you on telling your mom, you just
>>decide if you want to use it, but anyway here it is...
>>
>>When having a complex dialogue people tend to raise
>>emotions, they tend to be defensive and in the end
>>they havent really said what they wanted to say and
>>they havent really got the reaction they wanted to
>>get.
>>In order to prevent this you could tell your mom you
>>want to talk to her about something serious, write her
>>a letter in advance and have the talk after she has
>>read the letter, in that way, you get to say all you
>>want and she can read it in peace.
>>In this letter explain to her what the problem is, how
>>it makes you feel, that this all is not her fault and
>>what you hope to get from her (understanding,
>>affection, help in what way) tell her what you
>>definately dont want.
>>
>>This seems to be a very effective way to deal with
>>parents (I wish I did it when I was younger)
>>
>>I think if you have a good relationship with your mom
>>you should tell her, you can get a lot out of it. And
>>remember, one of the first steps out of the ana life
>>is putting yourself open to other people.
>>
>>Let us know how it works out
>>
>>chocolate
>
>Thanks chocolate, I will give that a try and see if I
>can get some form of a letter that explains myself
>well enough. I have been running over the
>conversation in my head for the past two days and I
>made a list of stuff that I wanted to be sure to
>include of things to say. Thanks again and once it
>happens, i will definitely post how it went.
>Take care,
>Becky
Becky - I gave the same advice to someone else here about having a conversation with someone that they thought would possibly turn into a confrontation. Do as Chocolate suggests and write it down. It provides you the opportunity to change it any number of times, make it better and sound better and get your point across without any verbal interuptions. It's a great way to start and you also might want to read it over aloud when you're alone and try to think about what she may ask you and have those responses ready, too. It's kind of like preparing for a debate...they might get a little heated but they are always controlled. And that's what you want to be ~ in control of the conversation and situation that will follow her reading your letter. Good luck, hon!
Deb
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