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Date Posted: 20:54:01 10/11/01 Thu
Author: Rabid, happy to be here
Subject: JD, KM, KS, CW, Det. and Rabid all stand out side the Klub looking at the UFO crash in awestruck...uhm...AWE!
In reply to: Kande's Sis thinks irritably 's message, "It's not my feet that smell, it's Kande's shoes that I'm wearing" on 19:16:37 10/10/01 Wed

"It's worse than I thought," KM remarks, "I hope Bubba has collision and property damage insurance."

"That boy is going to need himself a powerful good lawyer, too," Aunt Madge says from the back of the crowd. Everyone turns to stare at the old bat (who is always popping up like Dracula out of the spooky mist)as she takes a long drag off of her cigarello and with a flip of her wrist adds, "MY CARD!"

"Aunt MADGE!" Rabid gasps in horror she reads the inscription on the newly printed cards that her aged relative is handing out to all and sundry, "I thought you were a gynacologist...or a realtor...or a hairdresser....what's this about being a LAWYER?"

"You got something against an woman trying to improve her lot in life, Missy?" Aunt Madge growls, "Never stop learning...that's always been my motto."

"I thought your motto was Never Let Them See You Sweat," Rabid hisses.

"Nope, that's just good advice," Aunt Madge says with a sniff that turns into a cough. Wrinkling up her already wrinkly nose she adds, "Course if your feet smell this bad...I reckon it doesn't matter if they SEE you sweating."

"It's not MY FEET!" KS yelps indignantly. "It's KANDE'S Shoes!"

"Actually, Sweetie," JD gently corrects, "I think it's the Alien Ship. Well, what I mean is the NEW Alien Ship. Cause technically they are both ALIEN ships...but Bubba's ship is, sort of the less ALIEN, alien ship. So I mean the alien ship that is not Bubba's alien ship when I say the ALIEN ship...uhm...if you catch my meaning."

"Yeah, JD we got that," KM nods, "and I think your right, that horrid foot odor IS coming from the crash site and I also think that girly scream came from inside the Alien Ship."

"Do you mean the NEW alien ship?" Det. asks from the crowd, "Because I think we need to clarify our terms." There is a murmur of assenting voices and questioning tones as Det. continues speaking, "Are we all agreed that the OFFICIAL name for the NEW alien ship should be just the Alien Ship? And if so what exactly do we call the old Alien Ship?"

"Actually, I think the NEW Alien Ship looks OLDER," IG inserted, "I mean, like maybe it's an older model. So, using NEW and OLD might be confusing."

"Yeah, and using OLD could be offensive to your age challenged citizens, too." Aunt Madge offered, "I could see a class action suit developing out of this...maybe you should form a committee and seek public input on this NAMING THE SHIPS issue."

"We are NOT, I repeat NOT sending this to COMMITTEE!!!!" KM shouts over the top of a babble of comments and suggestions, "We are going to investigate that GIRLY SCREAM!!! AND I MEAN RIGHT NOW!!!!"

"Aye-Aye, your Highness," KS says saluting and the rest of Shipperville's finest fall in behind their Mayor...everyone except JD that is.

"Uhm...excuse me...MS. MAYOR," JD drawls, "But shouldn't we at least have a plan before we go Muldering into a Stinky Alien Spacecraft? I mean, instead of poking around in the dark with nothing but handguns and pocket torches maybe we should do a recon or set up a base of operations using the klub as our HQ..."

"The HQ is broken, honey," KS whispers in a quick aside as she tries to nudge JD out of KM's line of sight.

"How do you break an ice cream sundae?" Aunt Madge asks in genuine confusion.

"You're thinking of a DQ," Rabid says soto voce, "An HQ is a kind of sandwich with meat and sauce."

"That's a BQ," CW inserts, "HQ is like military code...it means not to tell anyone what's up...you know keep this on the HQ."

"I'm almost certain that's QT," Det. murmurs quietly, "You keep stuff on the QT."

"So the HQ is like ICE or something?" KS asks, "Cause I happen to know that you can keep things on ice for several days before they start to smell as bad as this ship."

"God help me, I miss Mulder!" JD groans as he looks into KS's wide innocent eyes, "I just HAVE to get me a few MALE friends."

Rabid
who is happy to be back in Shipperville and hopes that KM can get this crowd moving again.

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