| Subject: So by your logic, a 13 year old who has a child should be allowed to compete in the local teen division and be a role model for other young girls in her area? Click in, there is more |
Author:
Christi
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Date Posted: 13:29:04 07/09/10 Fri
In reply to:
Lisa B
's message, "Reply to Chrisi" on 11:33:43 07/09/10 Fri
Local pageants who send thier delegates to a national pageant will have the same rules as a national pageant, for obvious reasons. I actually ran several pageants, local pageants that sent to the next level did not accept unwed mothers usually reinforced by the council of the city who usually were the financial backers of the pageants. And I ran a regional pageant that did not send thier winners to any other pageant, and that pageant accepted unwed moms, it was run by me, no input from a committee or council, created because there were unwed moms who were exemplary individuals who just wanted to compete and have some fun. We had a ton of fun and I had some great titleholders. One who actually gave up her title about 7 months pregnant, who is one of the finest moms and finest examples of a hard working young lady.
Local pageants are far more judgemental of unwed mothers being titleholders even if they dont send to the national level.
Commonplace doesn't mean socially acceptable ahd no matter how good of a person or how good of a mom you are, people will always judge you based on the fact that you had a child out of wedlock. Even as an adult people tend to give more crediblity to a married mother than to an unmarried mother! Most local pageants are run by committees, or backed by city council members, and most of them are older people with deep rooted value systems.
Most local pageants are a weekend, most national pageants are 1 week, and most international pageants are 2 weeks.
You generally do refer to a child of an unknown gender as 'it'. 'It' was not an insult it was a word, no need to go on the defensive, I didnt have benifit of gender identification ultra sounds when I was pregnant and mykids were 'it' till the day they were born.
Figthing in a war is a far cry from holding a pageant title and I fail to see the comparison other than them being away from home for extended periods of time. And no, I do not feel that a single mother would not be capable of fulfilling the job as she could not possibly be away from her child for 2 or 3 months at a time and still remain a 'good mother'. Obvioulsy the national pageant owneers across Canada also feel the same way or it wouldn't be a rule!
When you have a child, that child becomes, or should become, the single most important thing in your life. Running off to judge a pie-eating contest when your child has a fever of 103, what would you choose? Your childs birthday is on July 1, a titleholders most busy day (national or local), where would you be?
When you have a child you make a choice, there are things that you will be able to do and there are things that you wont. Being a pageant titleholder is one of the things that you probably wont be doing, and probably something you shouldn't be doing.
A woman who is able to raise a child alone and hold down a job, go to school etc is an amazing example of strength and determination, however a woman who has a child without being married is still an example of poor decisions and not role model material as a 'Miss'.
Mrs, or Ms titles are another platform entirely, they are intended for those who are no longer a Miss and there is room for children, mostly because there aren't appearances, or very limited appearances and duties.
There are no 'equal rights' in this because it is not a 'rights' issue. It is a priveledge to compete, not a right. It is an honour to represent your community or city, but it is not something you are owed as an individual or a citizen. As I stated previously, Human Rights wont get involved as it is a private competition, and is not part of thier mandate.
And as a pageant director, I would be the one responsible for creating the rules to follow, therefore 'who am I to decide' is exactly who I am. I do not think that any pageant should be bullied into changing thier rules or accepting unwed moms by someone who made the choice to put themselves in the position of being an unwed mom.
Where do you draw the line after that? Let a 'Miss' in when she has a child...waht about the 'Teen' division? WHat do we tell the 14 year old who just had a baby if we are letting the 'Miss' division have unwed moms? Is a pregnant 13 year old or a 14 year old mom a great role model? When we are trying to teach our daughters to say no to sex, be careful etc, and she idolized a titleholder who was a single mom, what do you answer when she says 'well she did it and she turned out ok'?
And before you get thinking I am 'holier than thou', let me clarify something, I have been on both sides of the coin. BOTH of my sons were born before I was married, I raised them pretty much alone, I worked, I went to school, I owned businesses, I ran pageants, I volunteered in the community, but I did not attepmt to hold a 'Miss' title.
I did hold a Mrs title later in life, I went to an international pageant for 2 weeks while my children were taken care of by thier father, and to this day my family still bitches that I shouldnt have gone off on them for 2 weeks! They were almost teenagers at the time!!!!
It's just the way it is. If you want to try out for a Ms. title, there are platforms for that and I would be happy to point you in the right direction as there are several Ms pageants out there and not all of them are very good. Some are heads and shoulders above the others, I have worked with almost all of them. Feel free to contact me, but I am sorry that you are not getting the answers you want regarding a 'Miss' title, and you won't be able to change the rules on the 'Miss' especially when there are avenues for girls who dont qualify for the Miss, be it age, motherhood or marriage/divorce.
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