Sorry I didn't get this edited before tonite's show, but at least I actually posted one ::looks at Sprite::: so deal with it! HAHA! Here's my Survivor Update for last week's show, typos. warts, and all. -- Welcome To The Crzy House

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Date Posted: 21:11:28 05/01/03 Thu
Author: Lance
Subject: Sorry I didn't get this edited before tonite's show, but at least I actually posted one ::looks at Sprite::: so deal with it! HAHA! Here's my Survivor Update for last week's show, typos. warts, and all.
In reply to: Mitchell 's message, "Mitchell's (not so much lol)Survivor Decorating Commentary" on 12:20:16 05/01/03 Thu

Last week's show opens with Psycho Matt and Butch the Amazing Invisable man out fishing. Of course they're out fishing! They spend twenty-three hours out of every day fishing. In the twenty-fourth hour, Psycho Matt sharpens his machete and Butch admires his "Believe in Yourself" banner.

Back at camp, the alliance of Rob, HeiDDi, Alex, and Jenna, the "Cool Kids" Alliance lie in the sun and work on their tans while joking that Matt and Butch aren't catching enough fish and Christy hasn't carried enough firewood. Rob says that one of the guys will "get fired" if they don't catch something soon.

Rob is quite possibly the most annoying, sexist, conniving little schmuck ever to set foot on the "Survivor" stage. And he's just possibly going to win it all.

Let's get one thing straight right off: in case you can't tell, I don't LIKE Rob but I admire the way he's played the game.

Rob says, "I'm booked all day trying to think up funny things to say" and Jenna adds, "And I'm booked all day trying to figure out a really good outfit to wear to the challenge." Heiddi Hoe regrets that she's not yet worn her buff as a tube top as the camera pans over her hideous skelletal body with its unnaturally gargonous breasts. Jenna immediately pips up with, "Ah! If you wear it as a tube top, I'll wear it as a skirt," confirming that they are indeed in seventh grade.
And speaking of Jr. High mentallity, can you believe someone like Alex actually saying out loud, "I knew I would meet cool people, but I never thought they would let me hang out with them." HAHAHAAAAAAAA!
But wait, we're not finished. Jenna says that she considers the others to be her best friends, "not just here -- like, at home." Can these people possible be MORE PATHETIC! HAHAAA!

Isn't it interesting to see this little social experiment played out right in front of our eyes? Yep folks, throughout the last few weeks, we've witnessed how popular people form their cliques; "Hey, you're really hot. Let's hang out together and act more and more like assholes." HAHAAA!

But just as we really start to dislike them, the producers decide to highlight the fact that Swimsuit-Model girl hangs out with her parents almost every night instead of going out (unlike Rob whose parents don't let him out of the basement. )

And that her mother has BRAIN CANCER.. and... and... sniffle... it's just so hard to be away from her because... sniffle....(yeah so she signs up for Survivor!!)....what's wrong with this picture? Heiddi thinks it's scary that they haven't heard from their families in "gosh knows how long," (and I think it's scary that she can't count to 28.)

For the reward challenge they each get $500 to buy food. Rob says that he's tempted to keep the money and "screw the food," (I'm sure screwing food is something Rob has tried before) Jenna asks if they get to keep the change, and Heiddi adds, "Ditto." You can't "ditto" a question!!!

Now heres the thing about the auction for the letter from home. Christy, Jenna, and Heiddi were the primary bidders, with Heiddi jumping straight from Jenna's $100 to $200. Hiddi DOUBLES Jeana's bid. Heiddi and Christy keep the bidding going, while Jenna grumbles that she doesn't have enough. Finally, Christy wins with a bid of $340, and Jenna and Heiddi pout. The tears start to flow into the peanut butter and chocolate and the Dramatic Music of Sex-Weapon-Wielding Bikini Models Who Like Peanut Butter and Chocolate and Don't Get Letters from Home tinkles in the background.

Christy should have got the difference back on her bid or at least some food, but deaf people clearly should just be grateful for what they get. Jenna is the first in at $80 and once again Heiddi bids against her! hahaa. Jenna counts her money and announces that she doesn't have any more, so Heiddi realizes that she has no choice but to let her friend take the prize, because in the previous letter auction, Heiddi single-handedly bid it out of Jenna's reach.

Rob wins the immunity challenge (actually psycho Matt gives it to Rob by voting for himself as the person everyone has a crush on - a purely stratigic move by Matt.)

Rob once again switches alliances and votes off his fellow "cool people" high school clique best friend Alex.

Providing one of the better Survivor shows in what is shaping up to be the best Survivor season ever with the possible exception of the first season when Richard Hatch, the man you loved to hate, won the million dollars.

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