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Date Posted: 08:15:23 08/12/02 Mon
Author: Katie
Subject: Still around

Sherry and Kel - I am so happy and proud for both of you!!! You girls rock!!! Still a couple of weeks left to make your goal for the month, Kel. I'm sure that you'll make it.

I tried upping my carbs to 30-40 a day. After several days, I was having to fight really hard not to cheat. I had tried the Atkins blueberry muffin mix (this stuff is wonderful!!!), but found that just like eating strawberries, the sweet taste just made me want to cheat.

I ate a sugar dessert at lunch yesterday, and had a really bad reaction to the sugar drop after my insulin kicked in. It's becoming more and more apparent that even if I gave up on trying to lose weight, that I can't go back to eating carbs and sugar. I was nauseated, dizzy, my vision was blurry, and for a few minutes I was really afraid that I was going to pass out.

I'm depressed about my impending birthday. This is the first year that I'm really having to deal with the impact of my mom being gone. The first year, I found out that I was pregnant, last year the baby was still really small and new to me, this year nothing is really helping and not having food as a crutch is making it even harder.

This is the week that we normally all go out dancing on Thursday, and I was really looking forward to going out on my birthday. My bestfriend scheduled her vacation for this week, another friend scheduled a surgical procedure for my birthday, another friend remembered a prior commitment (2 weeks after telling me she would be here to celebrate), so none of my friends will be around. I got so depressed last night that I couldn't stop crying and my SO kept telling me that he was doing everything he could to make my birthday happy, so I ended up feeling guilty about not being happy.

I'll post as much as I can here and on the other board, but I'm on a downer right now. But heck, as moody as I am it could change again by lunchtime.

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