Kel -- DietLowCarb.com

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Date Posted: 09:13:24 06/11/02 Tue
Author: Sherry
Subject: Kel
In reply to: Kel 's message, "Reasonable Goals" on 06:25:40 06/11/02 Tue

The S, Sarah stands for specific (I think).

Anyway Kel, I don't look at it that way. I don't set myself up to fail by saying I'm going to "be thin by summer" or "wear slinky dresses by Christmas."

It comes back to the idea of the rules. You set up for yourself rules and if you have lived by the rules, you have a sense of satisfaction and reward for the effort. If you set up impossible rules, you never feel the rewards, and there is no motivation to stay on track.

If your rules are based on results obtained by a certain time, you will get discouraged. You can't be responsible for the results, only for the process. You can't FORCE your body to lose a certain amount by a certain time, you can only force yourself to stick to specific rules that you THINK will get you where you want to be. The rewards for your efforts have to be in feeling good about what you have done, not in what the scale says.

It is hard to think this way, we are used to measurable (read that outwardly measureable) results. If your ability to feel good about your progress is dependant on an outward measurement that you have no control over, of course you give up.

I've been on this diet for 2 and a half years more or less. At first I lost and did really well, but after that I fell into a place where my body has decided what it wants to weigh. I may never reach my goal weight wise. I have had to recognize this, but if I give up, I will gain back what I have lost. My success may not be measureable, but my failure will be VERY measureable. I try and keep this in my mind.

Every day whether I am sticking to plan or cheating, I try and make healthy choices, knowing that it may not ever make a difference in whether I LOSE more weight, but will make a difference in whether I gain it all back or not.

One thing I have had to give up over the years is an "all or nothing" philosophy. That "Ok I cheated today, might as well eat everything I want and get back on track tomorrow." Cheats now generally become smaller as a result. They still exist, I haven't eliminated them, but I have tried and mostly managed to eliminate full blown binges.

Small cheats are damaging to our results, this is sort of an accepted idea. I believe this is true, but at the same time, I prefer small cheats to getting SO overwhelmingly desirous of a certain food that I just go crazy and eat way too much.

I don't know if I have any tricks for staying on track. I don't know if I'm even really eating low carb anymore. I avoid most bread, most corn, (although I do occasionally have a corn tortilla), potatoes most of the time. I normally drink water, and avoid sugary sodas, and juices.

My weakness is still chocolate and I haven't given it up entirely. I have decided to live with my choices. The more often I make wise choices the less I have to worry about gaining it back. If I occasionally eat something I know I shouldn't, then I may not lose, but I might only maintain.

I can (for the most part) be satisfied with maintenance.

My body doesn't want to lose weight. I've been a little lower lately, but nothing significant. Hovering around 230 rather than the 232 I was hovering around. I may find myself at Christmas hovering around 228 (If I'm lucky) or back up to 232.

I've tried every trick, every idea I could ever come up with to change this reality. Sometimes they work (briefly). I'm still not sure if eating more would help me lose, I didn't really give it a long enough trial, but I do know that it doesn't really "work" for me in that I don't WANT to do that really.

I do think eating more often and not allowing myself to get too hungry has helped a little. I know that excercising works, and I'm still planning to continue in this course of action to see what progress I can find this way.

What I do know is that setting goals is a marvelous idea, but goals shouldn't focus on things you can't control. For instance if I set a goal for myself today it isn't going to be "Tomorrow I will weigh 225" I can't lose 4 to 5 pounds in one day and I know that. Maybe I could lose 1 pound. But I can't even control that. The sort of goal I can set for myself is "Today I am going to stick to 20 grams of carbs or less". Or "Today I am going to excercise for a half an hour".

If I wake up tomorrow and haven't met my unrealistic goal of five pounds off, I'm going to feel bad about myself and not want to stay on track tomorrow.

If on the other hand I wake up tomorrow and I managed to stay under 20 grams today, or even CLOSE to 20 grams, I will feel good and ready to make a new goal tomorrow.

Goals should be short term. It is fine to have long term goals, but real goals should focus on today only. They should focus on the process, not the results. We have to have a little faith, that if we stay on the plan, that the tangible rewards will eventually come.

Obviously if we find that not to be true, if we stay on track, day after day, and no weight loss ever happens, then we need to question whether the process is the right one, but the PROCESS is still the focus, not the results.

Perhaps our "no cheat challenges" should be just that again. I know they weren't very forgiving. It is unrealistic to expect no cheats at all for a month or two at a time. Perhaps we should have ONE day, or three day no cheat challenges.

Most of us can commit for one day, or even for three. Beyond that it is hard to know what you will do.

Or perhaps we should have one day excercise challenges. I do know that there is strength in numbers. Knowing that we have our friends here struggling with the same things is useful.

When I start to get unmotivated I re-read Brian Tracy. He is a motivational speaker, has some really inspiring ideas, and has helped me change things in my life, set goals and achieve them etc.

Here is a quote that might help you. "Change one thing at a time. Identify one area of your life where lack of discipline is interfering with your success. Decide today to develop discipline in that area. Launch strongly. Tell others about your decision. Never allow exceptions until the new habit is firmly entrenched. This decision alone could change your life."

The problem I see with your goal to be wearing something slinky by Christmas is 1) you have a lot of time between now and then. It is easy to procrastinate. 2)You have no control over the results, maybe you will get there maybe not. 3)It doesn't address the process. Much better to set a goal that says "Regardless of the results, this is what I plan to do every day, every week, and every month UNTIL my goal is reached"

I once set a goal to pay off all my bills by December of 2000. Guess what? I didn't make it by then. BUT by August of 2001 I was debt free. I kept that goal there in front of my eyes, and even though it was accomplished late, it was still accomplished.

Pulling out a goal and looking at it every day has more chance of succeeding than thinking "oh that is a long way off I will make it by then". Maybe you should buy that slinky dress now. Put it on your closet door and look at it every day. Try it on from time to time.

Some ideas. I hope they help.

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Replies:

Response -- Kel, 06:09:56 06/12/02 Wed
- You do? -- Sherry, 08:25:39 06/12/02 Wed