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| Sunday, May 17, 12:42:03pm | [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: [1], 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ] |
| Subject: Volenteeers | |
Author: George [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Thursday, May 29, 08:54:49am Had Cunard presented the QE2 to the Nation as a working Museum What jobs would the lads and lasses on this site apply for and why. George in Southampton [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: syd | |
Author: mike (for syd) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Saturday, May 24, 03:54:20pm hey syd what happened,to keeping the postings short????? mike [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: Swinging the lamp | |
Author: Brian (Site admin) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Wednesday, May 28, 07:36:28pm I really think that some of you need to look up the meaning of 'Swinging the Lamp' That's what this Message Board is for - NOTHING ELSE! Do not be surprised if your posting is removed. Brian. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: non safety at sea | |
Author: Laurie Tye (survivor) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Sunday, June 01, 01:54:54pm A guy in the pub the other day was telling me about the extreme safety measures applied on off-shore platforms and it got me thinking about some of the measures that didn't apply at sea in our day. I recall swinging stages to paint the side of the ship( "Millais" Lamport & Holt) that was going to be alongside when we reached B.A. We weren't required to wear safety lines and we were steaming at twelve knots along the Brazilian coast. Most of us were only wearing shorts and flip flops and carrying roaring Santos hangovers but I don't recall losing anyone. Laurie in Salford. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: They are out there | |
Author: Syd Young [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Saturday, May 24, 01:59:54pm ONE -- Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you couldhave an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' wasthe reply . 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?''That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets. TWO -- I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items andthe lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?' I said to her 'I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today.' She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened. THREE -- A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a creditcard number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.' FOUR -- I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?' 'Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.' FIVE -- Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One dayshe was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use copier machine paper,' the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, putit on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies. SIX -- My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: 'I've got smoke coming from the back ofmy terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?' SEVEN -- Police in Radnor , Pa . interrogated a suspect by placing a metalcolander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.The message 'He's lying' was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth Believing the 'lie detector' was working, the suspect confessed. EIGHT -- A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needsto take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine ..The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room! *There out there....!! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: They really are out there ! | |
Author: chas (mildly bemused) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Thursday, May 29, 03:47:32pm Earlier in the year, as is my habit, I was phoning round the insurance companies trying to get a sensible quote, and going through all the same old details time after time, usually to some bored young lady on a computer keyboard. The final conversation went, after the usual details, somewhat like this. “Marital status ?” Married, “Okaay …… Do you live with your partner ?” No, “Okaay ……” I live with my wife. (Confused silence) My partners difficult to work with, I wouldn’t want to live with him too! “Okaay ….( Sound of delete key, rapidly)” “Partners name ?” “Are you sure you want his name, or would you rather have my wife’s?” “Wife’s” (Getting mildly irritated) “(name given)” “Okaay ….Partner’s .. er .. Wife’s address ?” “Same as mine, ...one of life’s little coincidences !” “Okaay … (rapid typing, slight delay, some slightly annoyed snorting) “Wife’s marital status ?” “Married, they just don’t do a one way ticket on that !” ……. From there we just degenerated into pure farce, my wife, who had been listening in, had tears rolling down her face and was close to having a stroke trying to suppress hysteria, so I gave up on that one. Sometimes I think it really is me who is the one out of step ! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: LONG AGO | |
Author: john [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Thursday, May 29, 09:27:25am SUPERSTITIONS [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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