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| Saturday, May 16, 05:26:19pm | [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, [5], 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ] |
| Subject: Mans Best Friend | |
Author: Gus [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Thursday, March 13, 11:03:24am It is my opinion that a dog is truly mans best friend. If you dont believe me then try this simple test. Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of a car for a few hours. When you return to open it just see who is the happiest to greet you! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: cooks | |
Author: mike (well) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Friday, March 14, 03:35:12pm hi all, i wonder how many of you ex merchant navy cooks,now leave all the cooking to her in doors.??? mike [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: First name!! | |
Author: Vernon R697530 (What does yours reveal) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Wednesday, April 09, 01:50:52am Hi, Just a small but interesting site about first names,what does yours reveal,have a look! Cheers Vernon <a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.geocities.com/edgarbook/names/names1.html#I">http://www.geocities.com/edgarbook/names/names1.html#I</a> [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: Granny knows everything! | |
Author: Gus [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Tuesday, April 08, 11:24:05am From an American newspaper. Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small -town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.' The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.' The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Nick names | |
Author: albert bishop (Still happy) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Monday, March 24, 04:44:50pm Once heard about a skipper, Richard ------- on Blue funnel His nick name was "China Dick". Every one thought it was because of his years on the far east run. But it turned out that after a misshap with his privates, The Chinese female doctor who stiched him up said, " Your penis is like porcelain" and thats why he was known as "China Dick" Anyone back the story up? Or any other unusual nick names at sea [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: Panama Canal | |
Author: Des Taff Jenkins (Happy) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Thursday, April 03, 07:37:08am Hi All. Can anyone tell me if the Panama web cam is off line? I can get all the others; and have had the Canal up on my old computer, but can't seem to raise it on this one. cheers Des [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD | |
Author: John Strange (eat it up) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Tuesday, March 25, 06:29:34am Well lads we have had who is the best cook, but what do you like to eat, what is your favorite? Me I like pickled baby octopus, capretti vindaloo ( goats meat) and blue steak, no more than 3 seconds each side on a very hot griddle plate. Food, love it. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: How the political system works! | |
Author: Gus [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Wednesday, April 02, 11:42:35am A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?' Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.' So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him . He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy, so the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. ' The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.' The little boy replies, 'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.' [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: april | |
Author: mike (well) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Sunday, March 30, 12:06:12pm ALL PEOPLE ROUND IN LATE FOR OVER ONCE LONGER [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: shipping | |
Author: mike (well) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Friday, March 28, 09:52:12am does anyone know,what is the smallest coaster,and its not the one you stand your drink on. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: Not What you think | |
Author: Des Taff Jenkins (Happy) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Thursday, March 27, 07:42:30am Hi All. From the latest NSW Vindi news. A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table. The waiter said, this is from that gentleman sitting over there. She stared at the wine cooly for a moment then wrote a note, and gave it to the waiter for the man. The note read " For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and seven inches in your pants. After reading the note the man decided to compose one of his own and had it delivered to the Lady. It read Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be. I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMWWZ8, Mercedes CL600 and a Porche Turbo in my several garages. I have beautiful homes in Aspen, Miami and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana. There over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you are, would I cut off three inches! Just send the bottle back. Cheers Des [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: Liverpool | |
Author: Hector McLean (Terry Scouse) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Sunday, March 23, 06:06:30pm Terry the train goes to Manchester at 3.00 if the Liverpool supporters can be removed from the tracks. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: NONSENSE | |
Author: alf corbyn (plymouth devon r 397928) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Tuesday, March 18, 01:12:34pm if a winger was left handed would he serve from the right?.cheers . alf [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: wife's cooking | |
Author: Graham R774640 (happy) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Thursday, March 13, 03:49:24pm Allright you lot, now if your ashore hopefully your Wife cooks your dinner, not the ships cook. What is the best thing cooked by her? mine is Shepards Pie/Cottage Pie. It would be interesting to see how the other half lives, Best wishes to all, Graham [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: Petrol | |
Author: Alanj (Curious) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Sunday, February 03, 01:08:26pm Hey all what kind of price are you paying in your areas for petrol? I managed to get £1.01.9 this morning at my local Tesco-the Sainsburys there was also that price. Yet the Total garage up the road was £1.04.9 and a smaller garage futher on was £1.10.9 !!! What the heck is going on? [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: Panama Canal | |
Author: Pat (Still Happy) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Friday, March 14, 11:57:08am Morning all. If you're not too busy today keep an eye on the canal as the P & O "Arcadia" is transitting. I've split my screens so that I can keep an eye out. I just love watching this webcam - saw the Island Princess yesterday. It's also fascinating to see where all the merchant vessels have come from and there have been some gorgeous private yachts. How the rich live eh? [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: When luck farts in your face | |
Author: Chris Allen (worn out) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Sunday, March 09, 10:00:54am Pats Attempt to change her phone number came to mind the other day. Mrs.A had been looking after a sickly grandson all day (not serious) As I knocked off work at 1730 I said I would get a takeaway on the way home. Got To Chinky to find it shut for refurb. until the next day. Went to bank cash point, machine broken or tampered with ate my card. Rang emergency number and cancelled card. Arranged for new card on Wed. a.m. and it arrived Thurs. a.m. Put it in different bank machine Sunday and it ate it again. Phoned and cancelled it, bank could not understand the problem. Got new card two days later, wife phoned to check that it had been activated (joint account), she was told to cut it up as it had been cancelled for some reason. Got yet another card two days later, Mrs. A phones to check that it has been activated, having been given the card number by the bank. Gets into a row with a stroppy Asian sounding female who refuses to give her the info because it's not her card. Tore her a new one, hung up and phoned again and got a nice helpful person. Card works. Pass me the bottle. Phew! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: The butler | |
Author: Pat (Still Happy) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Friday, March 07, 10:35:22am He was supposed to be Princess Dianas' rock but now it turns out he was just a man living in the world of make believe. I for one hope he gets forced into court so that he can be publicly shamed. Makes you wonder if there was anyone the Princess could really have trusted? [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: SHIPS | |
Author: POOF (HELP) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Tuesday, March 11, 03:45:43pm BLUE STAR LINE [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: Thought for today | |
Author: Gus [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Saturday, March 08, 05:16:19pm It matters not one jot who likes you. It matters more who YOU like. Happiness comes from giving not receiving. Old hippy Gus - still smokin the weed! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: Mad as hell and not gonna take any more | |
Author: Gus [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Wednesday, February 06, 03:52:45pm Although I'm a smoker I went along with the ban - smokings a no brainer but I enjoy the weed - and started buying my booze from the supermarket and have a drink and smoke in my own home. Now they want to ban supermarkets selling cheap booze. Ok I'll go back to the pub coz most have put patios in and patio heaters. But hey they wanna ban patio heaters coz they say they contribute to global warming. So in our weather thats the pub out. I'm told cycle or take public transport it's healthy and green. Who tells us this? Answer - servants of the people who have subsidised drinking dens in the workplace - smoking allowed, vote on their own pay rises and limit ours, give themselves massive pensions and bugger up ours, ride around in gas guzzling chauffeur driven motors and employ family members who do bugger all and subsidised by us the taxpayers. The list goes on. I begin to think we have the most corrupt or incompetant bunch of politicians ever. No references to feeding at the trough please - it's hard on the pigs. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: Song for Air Travellers | |
Author: Syd young [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Thursday, March 06, 11:51:01am Revamped Sinatra Song <a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.animatronics.org:80/strangers/strangers.htm">http://www.animatronics.org:80/strangers/strangers.htm</a> [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: Idiots | |
Author: Pat (Still Happy) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Tuesday, March 11, 12:41:03am Well, here we go again. Predictions were right. The weather has been awful the last couple of days. But why is it that whenever we see a reporter talking to someone about their house being flooded or smashed down by a tree they have no insurance? Surely that's the most important thing? [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: Al Fayed | |
Author: Babs (Bored) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Tuesday, February 19, 09:35:52am Has anyone seen the latest rantings from that awful parasite Mohammed al-Fayed? Since he was refused a British passport he has done nothing to endear himself to the Royals or the British public. And since that tragic accident he has done everything in his power to run the Royals down and not allow his son to rest in peace. Why can't he just be shipped back to wherever he came from and let's have Richard Branson running Harrods !!! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: When it's time to go. | |
Author: Gus [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Friday, February 29, 07:27:48pm This aint morbid its pragmatic. An old mate of mine was cremated the other day, he was dead by the way, and he stipulated no religous ceromony and no mourning. So it was a Humanist celebration of his life, some of the more befuddled and bewildered among us thought it was a humourus celebration! Anyway - we got to the crematorium and his elder son read the poem Sea Fever ( I must go down to the sea again....)and as the coffin went down to the furnace the Monty Pythons song Always Look on the Bright Side of Life rang out. We all went back to the pub had a good drink and remeniced. It might sound morbid to say this but it was a great funeral. I started thinking about what I will have as send off - I'm gonna be cremated so maybe Smoke gets in your Eyes. Just wondered if anyone else has any thoughts on this - we will all be taking the final taxi eventually. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: Sex of Flies | |
Author: Hamish (Sex of flies) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Tuesday, March 04, 11:23:39pm Fella was swating fies in the living room, wife askes rather smugly "Are you getting any"? "Five" says he "two females and three males""How can you tell what sex they are"she askes? "easy" he say's,"three were on my beer can and two were on the phone" [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: an older woman | |
Author: john sutton (old) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Tuesday, March 04, 08:26:59pm I met a woman in a club last night.She looked really good and quite sexy considering her age which was 61. We danced a bit and snuggled up and eventually she invited me home.Although I considered she was a bit advanced in years I thought she might have a daughter that was hot and I might get somewhere with her so I agreed. She asked me if I fancied a sportsmans double and when I asked what that was she told me that it was a threesome with mother and daughter so this was my lucky night. We got to her house and went in,she switched the hall light on and shouted up the stairs Mother are you in [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| Subject: be happy | |
Author: john sutton (old) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Sunday, March 02, 09:10:25am had a car accident this morning.I rearended a car on my way to the shops.When we got out of the cars to exchange detatails ,the other driver was a midge.He said "I,m not happy" Oh which one are you then? Thats when the fight started. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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| Subject: Dead right | |
Author: Des taff Jenkins (Happy) [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: Thursday, February 28, 07:07:00am Hi All. This notice was on a window. I WOULD SOONER SERVE 1,000 ALQUIAIDA TERRORISTS, THAN ONE AUSTRALIAN SOLDIER. Where was this? in NSW Australia. Where was it posted? On the window of a funeral Home. Even morticians have some humour. Cheers Des [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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