| Subject: Re: Changing my life / Becky |
Author:
Deb
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Date Posted: 13:31:52 10/13/04 Wed
In reply to:
Becky
's message, "Re: Changing my life" on 09:06:12 10/13/04 Wed
>>This is exactly the reason why I called the board
>>dreams, its about the dreams we lost.
>>
>>Becky, you are doing the right thing, I been in an
>>indoor clinic for ed's three times and only the last
>>time worked. The first step for me was exactly what
>>you are saying, I want to have a future. The point
>>with this is that ana is no longer number one on your
>>priority list. And that is a good thing, and you are
>>right, you cannot be what you want, and you cannot get
>>what you want when ana is number one.
>
>
>Thanks you guys,
>I think that I will make a detailed list of my very
>hopeful future!! That could def. work for me. Also, I
>think this weekend when I go home I am going to talk
>to my mom about it. She is totally clueless, but I am
>hoping that she will hear me out with everything I
>have to say-I'm sure she will as we are pretty close.
>I am hoping that by telling my mom, she will kind of,
>keep an eye on me, you know make sure I have eaten
>lunch, etc. Also, by me telling her everything she
>will know what to look for in the future if I ever
>"revert" to the ana life, and therefore be able to
>stop it..whether I want her to or not. I don't know,
>is it a good thing if I tell her? I just don't want
>it to backfire, but the only way I can see that
>happening is if I become ana again and she stops
>me...and from my current point of view, that isn't
>backfiring. You know?? Ok well thank you all so
>much!! Also, feel free to email me if you wish :)
>take care
>Becky
>>
>>Three meals a day is a very good start, I still make
>>myself eat three times a day. Try to make a list of
>>where you want to be in ten years, really picture it
>>(like graduated, married, with a job, or what ever you
>>want) every time you think you fall back look at this
>>list and ask yourself if what you are doing will help
>>or stagnate you to get these goals.
>>
>>And yes, stay away from the scale, most people
>>recovering from ana gain a little at first but lose it
>>again later on, that is you metabolism adjusting. You
>>can get a healthy metabolism again.
>>
>>If you need help with this please contact a therapist
>>or a nutricianist where you feel comfortable with.
>>
>>I really hope this works out for you
>>
>>Chocolate
If you are serious about wanting to leave it behind and start your life in a different direction, then by all means tell your Mom EVERYTHING.
I told my husband every dirty little trick and detail then after my hospital visit I wrote a contract where I said I would never again try to purposely harm myself (this included binging and purging as well as laxatives, abusing any other substances such as diet pills, drugs or alcohol or any other form of self harm). If I felt myself getting out of control I would reach out for help and not keep silent. I then had my therapist, husband then me sign it. It's on my refrigerator door to remind me.
It's easier said than done, but first being honest with yourself and with others is the first step. When I slipped I was at first so mad at myself for telling my husband my deceptive tricks but after the crisis subsided, I know it was the right thing to do and am glad I did.
I wish you the best of luck and don't forget to keep positive reinforcements around you and use them ~ frequently! Most importantly, take it one day at a time and don't dwell on mistakes, bad decisions or slips. You're human and you've got a lot of work to do ahead of you and it won't always be easy.
Let us know how you're doing and if you need any assistance in obtaining help either in your area or through the web, I'd more than happy to try to assist you.
Deb
==========================
You're more than a number!
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