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Date Posted: 21:09:10 05/23/11 Mon
Author: chris k
Subject: need suggestions


a friend of mine (she's in her 70s) is having breast cancer surgery in a couple of weeks. The plan is to do a mastectomy with immediate reconstruction surgery.

My question is - how can I help.

I know there are lots of folks out there who are or know breast cancer survivors - What would be the most blessing. Should I go to the hospital? Is there a particular gift that anyone found most helpful? anything I can do?

I'll take all suggestions.

thanks,

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Replies:

[> A friend of mine here is undergoing exactly the same reality. What she says has been a tremendous help to her is that we have organized cooking meals for her and her family during the time she was receiving and recoveringfrom her surgery and now during the days (every 2 weeks right after she has her chemo and radiation. The days of and afterward for up to 6 days she is completely 'spent' and told me it is a true Godsend when the meals come in every night of those days for her DH and 2 sons. So, if your friend has a family -- to organize s'thing like this would be great! -- mj, 00:16:48 05/24/11 Tue [1]


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[> [> oh crud - this woman is the author of a cookbook - and if anyone of you don't know- I'm allergic to the kitchen... sigh. will have to think that one through because it makes perfect sense. -- chris k, 07:02:26 05/24/11 Tue [1]


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[> I have a friend who has just undergone a long round of surgeries and chemo. She was sad that some friends and relatives have stayed away, and seem afraid to even meet her for coffee when she suggests it. So my suggestion is to visit your friend in hospital, and treat her as you normally would. Whatever you do, don't stay away unless she tells you she needs time alone. Just be her friend as usual, and know when to let her rest when she wants it. She will be exhausted much of the time so take your cues from her. I hope things go well for her. -- Cece, 01:54:57 05/24/11 Tue [1]


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[> My ex-mother in law loved fresh and beautiful flowers when she was going through cancer treatment. They gave her hope. And don't be shy, it'll only make her feel badly. -- Theresa, 08:26:54 05/24/11 Tue [1]


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[> Even if your friend is the author of a cookbook, she still might appreciate someone else doing the cooking - or bringing takeout from time to time. Typically, people get sent home from the hospital within a couple of days and she's likely to have all sorts of tubes, etc. that will make doing much housework next to impossible. An offer to take care of routine chores like changing the sheets, running the vacuum, etc. if she doesn't normally have help might be really appreciated too. If you know what kind of books she likes, you might pick up some paperbacks for her. -- Ann, 15:56:17 05/24/11 Tue [1]


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[> [> I'm trying to figure out how to get a group of folks to cook - she's not a close friend -she's a business friend but I'm the only one in our non profit group she's told - but I'm working on it : ) -- chris k, 18:08:35 05/24/11 Tue [1]


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[> When she come home from the hospital and during the treatments do her laundry and grocery shopping. Will keep her in my thoughts and prayers. -- Can Sheshe, 17:45:23 05/24/11 Tue [1]


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[> Thank You Ladies - I never thought about tubes, housekeeping, etc. I appreciate every suggestion and will keep you posted on how it all turns out - and please - keep all the ideas coming. -- chris k, 18:09:39 05/24/11 Tue [1]


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[> See if you can contact her family to find out what they may already be doing, and how you and others from the office can fit in (so you're not doing double-duty, or offending anyone). I'd also suggest things like board/card games (scrabble, gin, yahtzee?), building puzzles, reading books aloud, or picking up a few of her faves from the library. She'll be home recovering for a while, and may get bored. If her family is doing the housework, you can keep her company. -- The Chief, 21:50:07 05/24/11 Tue [1]


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[> The last friend (smile) I sent a package to appreciated receiving some DVDs & a digital picture frame. If she's too tired to read, DVDs are an easy solution for entertainment to take your mind off "things." Also a small digital picture frame can be loaded with favorite family photos, garden pictures, etc., whatever she enjoys gazing at while "tolerating" chemo. And the plus of the single digital frame, means you only have to take one frame to the hospital, but can still enjoy a revolving menagerie of favorite pictures. -- doc, 07:13:11 05/25/11 Wed [1]


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[> [> What a cool gift idea! -- JJ (Ronda)--who only has old fashioned frames., 16:26:49 05/25/11 Wed [1]


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[> Does your friend have someone to take her to her doctor's appointments -- these appointments usually fall during the work week when her DH and sons aren't available. -- carramor, 20:40:27 05/26/11 Thu [1]


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[> [> she and her DH are both retired - the woman is somewhere over 80 - not sure how far - it's hard to tell because she has more energy than me - but she also celebrated her 50th wedding anniversary a couple of years ago. -- chris k, 14:28:46 06/04/11 Sat [1]


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[> I brought a meal yesterday to my friend.She was SO happy to see me and asked me to come in and have a 'cuppa' with her. All she wanted to do was chit-chat and laugh a bit. She actually was uninterested in the food as she is super nauseas (although her boys were oohing and aahing like it was Christmas day!). I brought her low-fat yogurts the first time and she RAVED at how she survived on these for her nutrition. I brought her a few this time, but have gone back and bought her a dozen more -- fruit-flavored, organic, low-fat with live biocultures. They are tolerated much better than full-fat. -- mj, 11:24:03 05/28/11 Sat [1]


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