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Date Posted: 18:28:36 11/04/11 Fri
Author: TF
Subject: Grown up stuff

All this college stuff is making me crazy. I'm not prepared to lose my kid. Not prepared for all the transcripts, applications, application fees, scholarship stuff, college tours. I want her to be in kindergarten again and not an almost completely independent 17 year old. *sigh*
My middle daughter will be 14 on Sunday. Where did my babies go? Someone took them while I was at work. LOL

Sorry for whining.

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Replies:

[> One of the things they don't tell you about going in to Senior Year is all the freakin' FEES! Thru the roof prices for senior portraits, all kinds of academic-based fees, fees to take tests, fees to graduate, fees to apply to colleges, etc. It's worse than buying a house! If there's one thing I'd say to Parents with kids just starting high school, be prepared to spend about $1000 on Senior Year. Sheesh! -- The Chief (my oldest graduated in the spring... some days I still can't believe it!), 21:42:43 11/04/11 Fri [1]


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[> A bit late, but one thing I learned from some older friends a few years ago is to start looking at colleges after their sophomore year and definitely after their junior year. We have taken summer "look" vacations. That seems to help a bit. Senior picture prices are nuts. I went crazy with the first kid. The second said one morning, "Hey Mom, I need a picture for the yearbook and it's due TODAY." He went to Kiddie Kandids at the mall and loved the pictures. Now I have the third child who is a senior. My friend took the yearbook pictures and they turned out so well, she's doing the rest. -- TH, 22:02:25 11/04/11 Fri [1]


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[> The whole college application process is such a racket, IMO. It's SO important for our children to really have a fairly good idea of where they would like to go -- geographically, as well as, academically, and vocationally and then, to narrow down the possibilities from there. And even THEN -- it could all go 'south' AFTER they get accepted and get to the place! inside for more.... -- mj, 04:15:00 11/05/11 Sat [1]

Normally, though, it all works itself out once the acceptances and 'rejections' start coming in, where they will finally end up. It's VERY important to not take 'rejections' personally -- there are SO many factors that make colleges accept or not accept applicants. If you want/need to apply for financial aid, be prepared to spend HOURS filling out forms and getting your own 'books' in order. It's also very important to listen to whether your child even WANTS college! MY second daughter insisted, against our wishes, that she didn't want to go, and followed her heart and her OWN mind -- she's now in her second year of drama school and is absolutely thriving and excelling in something, for the first time in her 'scholastic career'! It's probably even HARDER than 'college',too! But, she doesn't see it that way -- that's how much she LOVES IT! She also got rejected from all her applications to all her FIRST choice drama schools when she first graduated high school, so she took a January admission to a second choice drama school and re-applied to just a couple of her first choice drama schools the next year and got in to her very first TOP school! OK, it costed us about $120 in those couple re-application fees, but it was worth it! It is so lovely to see her transforming into the 'professional' she's yearned to be! My eldest went the total academic route, as we did, and is no more 'fulfilled' than her younger sister. They just went down different paths.


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[> [> Luckily she only has 3 she is interested in and all of them are within 6 hrs of us. She wants to go into Radiology but wants her Bachelors so insteadof a 2 year course with one summer semester she has to take a 4 year course. The hard part is getting all of the scholarship info in in time to quilify. You cant apply too early but you cant apply too late either. LOL Then there are Federal Funds and Grants that cant be applied for until after the first of the year. *sigh* -- TF, 08:24:43 11/05/11 Sat [1]


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[> my son was a challenge for multiple reasons but in the end - he went where he was offered a full sports scholarship - my daughter was easy because she did it all - I had no idea what was going on - now - for you mom - don't fret - they'll be back !! LOL- I've always been ready for my chioldren to grow up and go - that's what I was working toward- now I want a wife for my son - i don't want the job any more!!! LOL -- chris k, 18:41:55 11/05/11 Sat [1]


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[> Encourage your children to get to know the admissions rep from the colleges he/she is considering. Personal knowledge on the part of the admissions staff can come in very handy. Inside for some financial aid advice... -- Ann, 20:07:41 11/05/11 Sat [1]

One nice thing - as of Oct. 29, all colleges have to have a financial aid estimator on their websites. Using your most recent info, you can get a decent idea of what kind of aid your child will be offered. While there are a few colleges (Princeton, Yale and Vanderbilt for sure) that no longer give loans, just grants and work study, some schools will offer huge loans. As a parent, it is up to you to say "no, you can't take that offer" if the loan amount is too high. A rule of thumb is don't borrow more for a degree than you can expect as a first year salary upon graduation. So an engineering major can easily swing $6,000 a year, but a fine arts major probably should borrow only half that amount.

If your child is thinking of going to grad or professional school after college, that needs to be considered as well, when looking at loans. It will probably be necessary to borrow then, so try not to borrow too much at the BA level.

Last, but definitely not least, there are some programs that give students educational stipends at the end. Not only the military, but the Peace Corps and Americorps offer their alumni educational grants that can be used to pay off some student loans or pay for grad school.


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[> [> I want her to be independent thats true, I'm just not ready for it. It seems to have happened so fast. Also, she will not be getting any kind of student loan. If she cant get grants or scholarships then she will go to a community college. I know way too many people who are in their 30's still struggling to pay for student loans. -- TF, 15:11:16 11/06/11 Sun [1]


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[> [> [> What does she want to DO, actually? I'm beginning to think that college degrees aren't all that necessary for some jobs, and old-fashioned apprenticships are going to be the next big thing for job training & career determination. Not all jobs, but you certainly don't need a business degree to help people open checking accounts, (for example). -- The Chief, 20:59:24 11/06/11 Sun [1]


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[> [> [> one thing my daughter did - is she gets enough financial aid and scholarship money that with just a $25 a week allowance from us- everything is paid - but she's borrowed all the subsidized loans she's allowed and put that money in the credit union - she earns a little bit of interest and at only 4% starting after she graduates -if she pays it back within six months of graduating - there's no interest so she keeps what little she earns - depending on where things are when she's done - she might even keep the money and use it toward a downpayment on a house -- chris k, 21:14:13 11/06/11 Sun [1]


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[> [> [> [> She wants to get her bachelors in radiology. She wants to get a job, maybe pulling weekend call, then she can go back to school if she wants to zero in on a particular area like CT imaging or MRI maybe even ultra sound/sonography. She was wanting to do Radiation Therapy but she got thinking about all the kids she may have to treat and it would hurt her heart too much. -- TF, 21:45:03 11/06/11 Sun [1]


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[> [> [> [> [> Excellent. There are always jobs in the medical field. And there are usually lots of opportnities for internships, volunteering, candy-striping and such. All that hands-on will boost her resume. -- The Chief, 07:01:05 11/07/11 Mon [1]


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[> Good luck with that, I sure wouldn't want to go through all that again :-) Keep in mind that this independance it what you want for your child... right? -- Carrotts, 07:35:29 11/06/11 Sun [1]


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[> Hang in there and she will be fine. I think her going to college is going to be 10X more stressful for you than her if she picks the one far away. I know that you have do a great job girly -- DOS, 08:38:42 11/07/11 Mon [1]


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