The Jayson Blair Hour -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 19:19:48 03/08/04 Mon
Author: Wes
Subject: The Jayson Blair Hour
In reply to: Wes 's message, "New Sketch I'm Working On" on 19:18:30 03/08/04 Mon

The Jayson Blair Hour
By Wes Zack

Jayson Blair� Kenan Thompson
Announcer� Chris Parnell

Announcer V/O: Coming this April, former disgraced New York Times reporter Jayson Blair gets his own show, The Jayson Blair Hour.

Blair: (Sitting at news desk, face looks sweaty and flush.) In my opinion, John Edwards won�t be Kerry�s running mate, his running mate will be Jay-Z.

Announcer V/O: Jayson Blair pulls no punches when it comes to current events.

Blair: There is nothing wrong with President Bush; you know he was a war hero!

Announcer V/O: Jayson also talks about important historical facts, key word being facts.

Blair: With that one swing of the bat, Wayne Gretzky gave the Boston Celtics the 1934 Super Bowl.

Announcer V/O: Do you want the truth, you can�t handle the truth!

Blair: The weirdest thing happened the other night when I was walking home, a spaceship came crashing out of the sky and then� and then� uhh� (Gets out a handkerchief and wipes off sweaty face.) and then Michael Jordan came out of the spaceship. He said, �Hey Jayson, would you like some Taco Bell?� Then I said �Sure MJ!� So we went and got uhh� uhh� quesadillas, yeah, quesadillas.

Announcer V/O: Jayson Blair is the best thing to happen to television.

Blair: You love me America, face it, America loves liars, they love Bill Clinton, they love that character Jon Lovitz plays, what�s his name� Tommy Flanagan, yeah that�s the ticket.

Announcer V/O: The Jayson Blair Hour coming this fall to Fox News.

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Replies:

It's A Vetty Good (NT) -- S-Calade, 19:28:18 03/09/04 Tue

But does need work (NT) -- R, 19:31:07 03/09/04 Tue