- SNY PROMO WITH MATTHEW FOX -- jennings, 23:11:25 11/29/06 Wed
…Matthew Fox
…Andy Samberg
(Matthew Fox stands on the homebase stage with Andy Samberg to his left)
Matthew Fox: Hi! I’m Matthew Fox and I’ll be here this weekend for your internet entertainment!
Andy Samberg: Did the castaways vote you off the island?
Matthew Fox: No. That’s a different show.
Andy Samberg: Did you see Wilson, The Volleyball?
(Matthew groans)
Did you meet Gilligan?
(END)
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- Baby Pictures -- Patrick Lonergan, 18:20:52 11/30/06 Thu
<center><a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://patrick-lonergan.netfirms.com/pics/baby2.html"><img src="http://patrick-lonergan.netfirms.com/pics/pics/natalie05.jpg" width=600></a></center>
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- Want name of certain episode-Job Intervw "WoooOOO -- Lacey (very niiice!), 07:37:35 11/30/06 Thu
I am trying to find the video clip online of a certain funny skit. I think it was a recent episode where amy koehler goes in for a job interview and its these 2 fruity guys. When she starts listing her references they wont stop sayin WOOOOoooooo at the same time and finally she says it and theyre like excuse me? please help this is so funny i wanna show it to all my friends!
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- SNL SKIT -- MATTHEW KUKLA (ÌNSIGHTFUL), 10:02:41 11/19/06 Sun
HEY I HAD THIS FUNNY IDEA WHEN I SAW A COMMERCIAL FOR THE NEW SOCOM ARMY GAME ON XBOX 360.I THOUGHT A PARODY OF THE GAME COULD BE WORKED IN WITH THE LAME DUCK PRESIDENT.
IT WOULD OPEN UP WITH BUSH AND HIS REMAINING CABINET SITTING AROUND THE WHITE HOUSE GAME ROOM WHILE THE MOVING PEOPLE ARE PACKING UP HIS DESK AND TAKING DOWN ALL THE ELEPHANT BEARING CURTAINS AND HANGING DEMOCRATIC DONKEY FLAGS AND BUSH IS ON RUMSFIELDS SOCOM TEAM WITH CONDELEZZA AND CHENEY PLAYING AS WELL AND BUSH KEEPS FALLING BEHIND AND GETTING LOST AND IT CUTS TO A SCREEN IN THE GAME WITH THE PLAYER WALKING INTO A WALL AND SPINNING AND KILLING RANDOM OBJECTS. ALL WHILE CHENEY KEEPS SHOOTING HIS TEAMATES.
THEN IT CUTS BACK INTO THE GAMES COMMERCIAL AGAIN.
BUSH;
"DAMNIT DICK STOP SHOOTING ME"
<CONDOLEEZA KEEPS HEALING BUSH> ON SCREEN BACKGROUND ON THE GAME IS A DESERT.
THEY ALL COULD BE WEARING THE HEAD SETS.
THEY COULD BE PLAYING ANOTHER COUNTRY,.
IM SURE YOU GUYS COULD SPIN THAT INTO SOMETHING FUNNY.
THANKS
MATTHEW KUKLA
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- REVIEWS: Alec Baldwin 11/11/06 -- Patrick, 14:56:31 11/12/06 Sun
I think Prateek is still submitting a sketch, but everything's linked for the reviewers to access and tear apart bit by bit. Have at it!
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- SNY PROMO WITH CHRIS "LUDACRIS" BRIDGES -- jennings, 09:03:59 11/16/06 Thu
Here we go! It's a little longer than normal...(times out at 15 seconds)
...Chris "Ludacris" Bridges
...Amy Poehler
(Ludacris stands with Amy to his left on the home base stage)
Chris "Ludacris" Bridges: Yo! I'm Chris Bridges and I'm hosting Saturday Night You this weekend.
Amy Poehler: So is "Ludacris" your superhero name?
Chris "Ludacris" Bridges: You could say that.
Amy Poehler: So what, do you work at newspaper, and when you get word of trouble, you bust a rhyme and you bust a move.
Chris "Ludacris" Bridges: Actually, that's exactly what happens.
Amy Poehler: Luda-man, everyone! He's here to save the day!
(END)
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- Old Writer -- scott, 23:51:51 11/10/06 Fri
Hello snlyou. I contributed to this little venue a while back. Since then, I've been slowly making progress. I recently filmed a sketch of mine. Not really my best sketch but it cost barely anything to make and did not require great performances because everyone wears masks.
Check it out if you get the chance. Here's a link.
Look for us on Channel101.com soon if you like it.
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQ-UhFRMedM">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQ-UhFRMedM</a>
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- The Lost Comedy... -- jennings, 20:13:31 11/13/06 Mon
Something Jack Farrell use to do when something didn't make it air, he'd post his sketches.
Well...here's some stuff I wrote for Baldwin that failed to make it to air. Damn you, Lorne...I mean, Patrick!
enjoy
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- SNY PROMO WITH ALEC BALDWIN -- jennings, 02:14:53 11/09/06 Thu
...Alec Baldwin
...Amy Poehler
(Alec stands with Amy on the home base stage)
Alec Baldwin: Hello, I'm Alec Baldwin and I'll be hosting Saturday Night You this weekend. Amy, you have the breasts of an under-developed African girl.
Amy Poehler: Oh, thank you, Mr. Baldwin.
Alec Baldwin: Please, call me Alec. Cigarette?
Amy Poehler: No, thank you.
(Amy smiles)
(END)
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- Magazine article from 2003 I thought everyone might be interested in -- Patrick, 09:22:36 11/06/06 Mon
MARK O'DONNELL'S TRICKS OF THE (COMEDY) TRADE
WRITING COMEDY PRESENTS A GREAT CHALLENGE TO EVEN THE MOST EXPERIENCED WRITERS. THIS MONTH, WE DECIDED TO GET COMEDY-WRITING TIPS FROM A SEASONED PROFESSIONAL.
THE MAN
Mark O'Donnell, a known funny man and a respected writing instructor, has written comedy for Saturday Night Live, The New Yorker, The Atlantic, and SPY. His latest project was the adaptation of the movie Hairspray for the Broadway stage. In his spare time, he teaches comedy writing at Yale University. This interview is a micro-course in the hard task of making people laugh.
THE INTERVIEW Can you set out to write something funny?
Yes. The key is to have a good time while you're writing it. In Hollywood, a writer who doesn't enjoy what he's doing is called a hack. You can tell when something has been written by a hack because it lacks that sense of glee. The writer has to enjoy it if the actors and the audience are going to enjoy it.
How do you know what's funny?
Almost everybody is funny with their friends, making jokes at the lunch table or whatever. The thing is making the transition from goofing around to putting something down on paper. Once you've got something to show to people, see how they respond. Work with your peers as much as possible, because they understand you best and have had similar experiences. See what they like and what they don't. Most of the time, people will reach consensus on things. Everyone will like the part about the guy falling down the stairs, but not everyone will like the part about the dead bird. After a while, you get an instinct for what people will respond to, and you get better at knowing how to get an idea out of your head and into someone else's.
What common mistakes do people make when they write humor?
Clichés, profanity, cruelty. You don't want to be tyrannical. You have to play along with your audience rather than berate or alienate them. It's the difference between joking about hating your principal and joking about that terrible bug juice in the cafeteria. Some people might feel bad about making fun of the principal, but they won't feel bad about the bug juice. Try to find material that people can feel unified about. You also have to bear in mind the consequences of a joke. If you make fun of the way another student walks or talks, you could hurt them, but if you make fun of someone on TV, that's fair because they've put themselves in line for it.
What are three key things to think about when you start to write comedy?
First, what's the premise? Is this a piece about a guy who's trying to date girls but is a total idiot, or is it about a dog who's running for president?
Next, walk through the scenario. Imagine the situation as fully as you can and ask yourself, What happens next? Maybe the dog proposes to get rid of all the cats. Enter into the situation like your life or a dream and entertain the possibilities. Look around and see what's going on.
A woman once handed me a story in which the main character was an actress on the set of a movie and she was having a nervous breakdown. But when I asked her what the movie was, she didn't know. If she were really concentrating on that woman, that's something she would know.
3. Bring it to a climax. Maybe the guy finally finds a girl to go on a date with him. Maybe the dog loses the election to a "dark horse." (Of course!)
How can you revise something to make it funny?
For a professional, it's all about rehearsal and revision. Nothing is going to be perfect right away. The piece has to have a beginning, a middle, and an end. It also has to develop. You can't just repeat the same joke, you have to expand it and move forward. If something isn't working, ask yourself, What else can I do? Entertain all the possibilities of a given moment or situation. Trust the input of others, but trust yourself as well.
Are some words funnier than others?
Well, they say that words with k's in them--pickle, kugel, chuckle--are funny 'cause they're clumsy. Yiddish and slang were really popular during vaudeville. In the 1930's, all you had to do to get a laugh out of the audience was say, "Aw nuts!" That wouldn't work today, of course, but slang is still funny because it's a departure from decorum. Comedy is by nature informal, so it thrives on slang and on saying the thing that no one dares to say.
What's the most important thing for beginning I writers to do?
The first rule for writers is to pay attention. Every writer must be interested in the world, must observe things and learn, because there's no comedy without knowledge. Too many young writers start shooting off their mouths without n having looked around.
Imitate the stuff you love. If there's a TV show or a comedian you like, write scripts for them. When was a kid, I was crazy about MAD magazine and I wrote my own imaginary copy of it. Write what you know, especially when you're young. All the weird characters in your life--like that crazy cousin-make for good material. And it doesn't have to be true if it's a convincing character. Phyllis Diller used to joke all the time about her husband, Fang, even though he didn't exist.
What comedy writers do you admire?
I think Dr. Seuss was one of the funniest writers that ever lived. I also like Steve Martin, Bruce McCall, S.J. Perelman, and Lewis Carroll. When I'm looking for examples for my students, I invariably come back to Monty Python (everybody loves it, but that doesn't mean it's not great) and to the old Warner Brother's cartoons. Bugs Bunny made some great quips. And The Simpsons. That show has been called one of the funniest pieces of contemporary satire.
ASSIGNMENT FROM O'DONNELL
Pick one of the following exercises to try on your own, and use the guidelines discussed in Writer's Craft. Choose whatever will be the most fun for you to write. When you're done, trade pieces with a classmate and see if you get any laughs.
* Write a personal or want-ad like you might find in a newspaper.
* Draw up the table of contents for an imaginary publication.
* Spoof the evening news.
* Create a short parody of your favorite movie, comic book, or novel.
* Use unexpected rhymes to make up funny limericks, or outrageous images in kooky halku.
* Write one side of a phone conversation, or if you feel up to the challenge, write an entire dialogue.
* Try a piece of observational humor, i.e., have you ever noticed how hard it is to open those little bags of peanuts on airplanes?
~~~~~~~~
By Sarah Montante
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- REVIEWS: Hugh Laurie 10/28/06 -- Patrick Lonergan, 19:22:33 10/30/06 Mon
Don Pardo confused me - I was mistaken in the belief that the show was moved to Monday night!
I was straddled with a midterm all weekend and had to postpone everything SNL for a couple of days. Here's our light update for the week, a handful of sketches and one WU contributor. Go for it!
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- REVIEWS: John C. Reilly 10/21/06 -- Patrick, 11:04:08 10/22/06 Sun
I've only held out posting the update because I figured Mark's submissions were imminent, but none have arrived. Anyway, what we've got has now been posted - fire away!
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- JP III, CCS, how have you guys been?! -- Jim Bevan, 11:39:24 11/01/06 Wed
Been a while since we last saw you around here. Good to have you back. What have you two been up to? Also, if you don't mind me asking, is there a chance of seeing any sketches from you two in the near future? It would be killer to have you guys contributing again; you wrote some great stuff.
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- Top SNL skits of the season? -- JPIII, 12:47:44 02/05/04 Thu
This was initially a thread on the SNL msg. board, which I just finished posting to. It was a monster message, so I figure I'll include it here, and request similar lists and/or arguments from SNY writers/board visitors.
JPIII
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- hugh laurie sketches -- jennings, 13:12:12 10/28/06 Sat
since my John C. Reilly sketches were NEVER recieved last week, I'm going to post my Hugh Laurie sketches here. Everyone else can gladly post their own here as well.
Patrick, please upload these for me. Thanks.
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- SNY Promo with Hugh Laurie -- Jim Bevan, 08:44:01 10/26/06 Thu
... Hugh Laurie
... Andy Samberg
(open on home base with Hugh addressing the camera and Andy acting hyper)
Hugh Laurie: Hello, I'm Hugh Laurie and I hope you'll join me when I host Saturday Night You this weekend.
Andy Samberg: Yeah man, Hugh's in the house! (to Hugh) Get it, you're in the house, 'cause you play a guy named house.
(Hugh looks at him in disbelief, then buries his face in his hands.)
Hugh Laurie: Dear lord, please let them come up with better jokes for the show.
(fade out)
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- SNL NEW SKETCH -- ERWIN LANIER (AT THE PLATE), 13:03:02 10/20/06 Fri
TELL DESCRIBE A HILARIUOS SCRIPT FOR SNL. I DON'T NEED TO SELL. I LOVE TO SPOOF REAL LIFE WITH ORDINARY PEOPLE AND ATHLETES!!
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- Hey guys -- Hillary, 15:21:45 10/17/06 Tue
So I've been pretty AWOL since starting college. Student theater is my life now, for better or for worse. I'm probably going to be a theater major, actually, god help me. Maybe a creative writing minor. I might as well put in a plug for a live radio noir show that I work on called The Dead Hear Footsteps. Sundays at 5 EST (although not next Sunday, fall break) during the school year, at www.wobc.org. We're the only radio noir show that still records live that we know of. (Well, except for a couple of sound effects we can't do live, like squealing car tires or breaking glass.) Hopefully we'll start podcasting eventually.
But anyway, I'm posting upon the discovery of an opportunity that may be of interest to those of you still in college. Second City Chicago is finally offering a semester study away program they call Comedy Studies.
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.comedystudies.com/index.html">http://www.comedystudies.com/index.html</a>
Very exciting. I may apply to this program for next year, we'll see.
I'm fairly optimistic about the coming season of SNL. Thank god they finally got rid of Horatio. And there haven't been a lot of stupid celebrity sketches so far. Some of the sketches they've had this year have been really random, actually. Which is excellent. Like the Poland Spring one? I have a feeling that was Dane's idea. Because he's just that random.
Also, poor Rob Riggle has landed a new job as a correspondent on The Daily Show. In case any of you don't watch The Daily Show. Which would be a shame.
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- SNY Promo with John C. Reilly -- Prateek S., 22:28:36 10/18/06 Wed
...John C. Reilly
...Jason Sudeikis
(Open to Homebase with John C. Reilly and Jason Sudeikis)
John C. Reilly: Hi I'm John C. Reilly and I'm hosting Saturday Night You this weekend!
Jason Sudeikis: Hey John, you're from Chicago aren't you?
John C. Reilly: Yes Jason and believe me Chicago is very different from New York City. I mean with our confusing subway system, various hot dog stands, thriving arts scene, rude locals, and tall buildings it's like 2 separate worlds!
Jason Sudeikis:(gets a confused look) It is?
(End)
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- What did everyone do with the break week? -- Jim Bevan, 22:48:47 10/14/06 Sat
Just wondering how the writers spent their week since there was no new show. I myself have been practicing papier mache. I made a dog out of newspaper, but it was disobedient so I had to smack it's nose with a rolled-up golden retriever. (Ba-dum-ching!)
But seriously folks, I've just been busy with schoolwork, and trying to get some sketches written for the John C. Reilly episode. Hopefully it won't just be Mark and I sending in submissions this week. Take care all.
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- Behind the Scenes: Saturday Night Live -- Patrick, 22:53:42 10/14/06 Sat
I borrowed an interesting videotape from the university library yesterday, which appears to be an exclusive academic library item so check your college library media collection next time you're on campus!
It's a broadcast courtesy of the University Satellite Saminar Series, taped on 4/19/99 at the Museum of Television & Radio. The panelists are Lorne Michaels, Al Franken, Jim Downey, Tim Herlihy, Tim Meadows, Marci Klein, and Michael Shoemaker. It starts off with the introductions of the above, then a few minutes of sketch and musical guest clips from '75-'99, a couple of general questions from the host of the presentation, then on to live phone-in questions from college students around the nation (pranksters, many of them).
I posted a few excerpts online. The embedded videos are in the Reply.
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- Where are the archives? -- A wanderer, 16:18:21 10/08/06 Sun
Every time I click on archives, nothing appears.
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- REVIEWS: Jaime Pressley 10/07/06 -- Patrick Lonergan, 09:45:24 10/08/06 Sun
Well, I waited overnight but there doesn't seem to be much response for this episode.
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- REVIEWS: Dane Cook 9/30/06 -- Patrick Lonergan, 22:11:39 09/30/06 Sat
Prateek has sketches on the way, too, but I anticipate that will be the last of it. In the meantime, what little of everything else that came in is posted, so have at it!
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- SNY Promo with Jaime Pressly -- Prateek S., 23:10:44 10/04/06 Wed
...Jaime Pressley
...Bill Hader
(Open to Jaime Pressly standing on home base)
Jaime Pressley: Hi I’m Jaime Pressley and I’m hosting Saturday Night You this weekend. Usually, on My Name is Earl I share the spotlight with a chauvinist male pig but not on SNY!
(Bill Hader suddenly walks onto Home base and stands in front of Jaime)
Bill:(looks behind him) Oh sorry about that sweet cheeks. I’m just up here sharing the glory with ya! (Looks at the camera) Tune in for some comedy gold with me Bill Hader!
(End)
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- SNY PROMO WITH JAIME PRESSLY -- jennings, 23:05:03 10/04/06 Wed
…Jaime Pressly
(Jaime stands alone on the home base stage)
Jaime Pressly: Hi! I’m Jaime Pressly and I’ll be hosting Saturday Night You, this weekend. And I promise you, I will not be doing sketches where my characters are hicks, rubes, hillbillies, back-wards, Darwin believin’, step daddy bangin’, straight off the “Greyhound” from an episode of “Springer”. (Smiles)
(END)
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- cheap shopping -- cheap shopping (cheap shopping), 00:21:15 09/30/06 Sat
I agree with RSA. This could work, but a simple bulletted list on a homepage will not suffice. If you don't know about this service already:
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- SNY PROMO WITH DANE COOK -- jennings, 22:59:57 09/27/06 Wed
…Dane Cook
…Amy Poehler
(Dane stands on the home base stage with Amy)
Dane Cook: Hi! I’m Dane Cook and I’ll be hosting the season premiere of Saturday Night You, this weekend. Hey Amy, who was originally booked to host?
Amy Poehler: Eh, Anne Nicole Smith’s son.
Dane Cook: Ouch.
Amy Poehler: Yeah, a little awkward.
(END)
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- NEW MESSAGE re: Dr. Strangelove soundtrack trivia -- Bruce, 06:48:46 09/28/06 Thu
TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS as featured in the Dr Strangelove soundtrack - was that by the Laurie Johnson Orchestra, too, or from a library recording? I've been trying to find that superior version on record but haven't any luck. WHO RECORDED that version of "TENDERNESS"?
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- SNL News... -- Prateek S., 12:21:48 09/23/06 Sat
Hey fellow writers, I just wanted to recap all of this week's SNL news for those who don't know.
-There are now only 11 castmembers on the show. The four featured players have been promoted.
Lineup: Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler, Will Forte, Fred Armisen, Kenan Thompson, Maya Rudolph, Jason Sudeikis, Kirsten Wiig, Andy Samberg, Bill Hader, and Darrell Hammond.
-The 3 Head writers are Seth Meyers, Andrew Steele, and Paula Pell
-Don Roy King is now the director for SNL.
-Seth Meyers will be the new co-anchor for Weekend Update. The Amy and Seth years can finally begin.
-The guest line up for the season premiere is Dane Cook w/The Killers.
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- Sketch for the Dane Cook episode -- Jim Bevan, 22:08:53 09/24/06 Sun
This is a piece I've been working on for Dane's episode. I know it's not my normal type of skit, but this is something I felt was long overdue. I hope you like it.
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- Nominations for Best of the Year -- Jim Bevan, 12:44:54 09/05/06 Tue
The best of clip show is less than two weeks away, so I thought I'd start this thread for people to post their selections. Please post here or mail your choices to me at hurricanejbb@comcast.net and I'll tally them up for Patrick.
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- tote bags -- mj, 17:14:58 09/08/06 Fri
Tote bags in your favorite colors or characters just $10 add monogrammed name for $2!!!
one2manycjones@aol.com
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- REVIEWS: Dustin Hoffman 9/02/06 -- Patrick Lonergan, 22:21:29 09/03/06 Sun
I trust all links and names are posted correctly. If not, let me know and I'll fix it up by tomorrow.
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- Cold Opening for Dustin Hoffman episode -- Jim Bevan, 18:08:57 08/31/06 Thu
Not sure if Patrick will be able to check his e-mail, so I thought I'd post my sketch here as a precaution. With luck I'll have another in as well.
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- Dustin Hoffman episode thread -- Jason, 21:35:15 08/31/06 Thu
Just thought we could try this out, as it may be the way it us done from now on.
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- SNY Promo with Dustin Hoffman -- Jim Bevan, 06:52:44 08/31/06 Thu
... Dustin Hoffman
... Seth Meyers
(open on Home base with Dustin facing the camera. Seth stands to the side.)
Dustin Hoffman: Hello, I'm Dustin Hoffman and I'll be hosting Saturday Night You's mock summer finale. It will be a spectacular show, and I promise that you won't see any predictable parodies of The Graduate, Rain Man or Tootsie.
Seth (confused): Wait, we're not doing that? (He throws his arms up and scoffs in frustration) Great, now I have to tell the writers to scrap everything and come up with some "original" sketches!
(Seth storms off, leaving a puzzled Dustin behind)
(fade out)
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- REVIEWS: Hank Azaria 8/12/06 -- Patrick Lonergan, 15:10:37 08/13/06 Sun
I think there's one more sketch being reworked by Mark, and that should be the complete update. Review at will!
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- Potential hosts for SNL -- Ken Hidaka (Can't wait for season 32), 11:21:49 08/22/06 Tue
I have a list of potential SNL Hosts for season 32.
- James Gandolfini
- Camryn Mannheim
- Ozzie Guillen (Manager of the 2005 World Series Champion Chicago White Sox)
- Benjamin McKenzie
- Adam Brody
- Rachel Bilson
- Mischa Barton
- Tim Russert
- Wentworth Miller
- Jim Belushi
- Ben Rothlisberger
- Former Florida Marlins Manager Jack McKeon
- Dick Vitale
- Vince Vaughn
- Kristen Cavalieri
- Bam Margera
- Pat Riley
- Michael Richards from Seinfeld
Which of the following celebrites has the best shot of hosting SNL?
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- SNY Promo with Hank Azaria -- Jim Bevan, 06:05:10 08/10/06 Thu
... Hank Azaria
Rohit Stereotype... Kenan Thompson
(Hank and Rohit stand at home base, with Hank addressing the camera)
Hank Azaria: Hi, I'm Hank Azaria and I'll be hosting Saturday Night You this weekend. Tune in, it's going to be hilarious.
Rohit: Oh Mister Azaria, it is such a pleasure to have you here hosting our show, yes.
(Hank gives Rohit an odd look, then returns to looking at the camera)
Hank Azaria: You know, instead of hiring a plaigarism attorney, I'm just going to think of that as a respectful homage.
Rohit: You cheap bastard.
(fade out)
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- Saturday Night You Promo with Hank Azaria -- Prateek S., 12:51:27 08/10/06 Thu
… Hank Azaria
… Andy Samberg
(Open with Hank Azaria standing at Home Base with Andy Samberg jumping around)
Hank Azaria: Hi I’m Hank Azaria and I’m “mock-hosting” Saturday Night You this weekend.
Andy Samberg: Hey Hank, what’s it like working with Homer Simpson? Is he a jerk on the set?
Hank Azaria:(shakes his head) Oh for god sakes it’s a cartoon you idiot! Good Grief!
Andy Samberg: That line’s from a different cartoon Hank. And you’re calling me stupid!
(Hank Azaria storms off Home base)
(End)
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- REVIEWS: Mivhael Ian Black 7/29/06 -- Patrick Lonergan, 23:40:43 07/31/06 Mon
Here's where we are with the latest sketches. No cold opening or WU?
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- Sketch idea - "DWBSM's" - input appreciated -- Mattae"O", 20:24:56 08/04/06 Fri
Dumpy Man - Darrel Hammond
Announcer - Chris Parnell
Dave O'Brien - Unsure
Maurice - Undecided
Female Caller - Unsure
Chubby Woman - I don't know yet
Cut to a dumpy, mullet haired, middle aged, blue golf shirt and jeans wearing man talking into camera for a commercial.
Dumpy Man - And please, support the big three by buying domestic, even if their cars aren't as reliable as Japanese cars, or as stylish as European cars, or as reliable either...or as stylish as Japanese cars. Please. Really Plea--- The camera frame freezes with the mans mouth agape.
Announcer - This message brought to you by the United Auto Workers of America, urging you to support America by buying domestic - please, cause we only build 'em, not design 'em -it's not our faults! Were talking our livelyhoods here, our kids futures, and the whole brotherhood of unionists! So C'mon, we might just scratch your car if it's a forei--- The announcer's audio is suddenly cut off, and we cut to what appears to be another late night talk show host sitting behind a desk. The audience claps and cheers.
Dave O'Brien - Welcome back to the late night, obscure cable tv conservative talk show. I'm your host, Dave O'Brien. (People cheer) God bless America. (People cheer wildly) (Gets all fired up as he says next line) God bless the bible!!! (People cheer like crazy) Ya! The bibles awesome. (A few people cheer) Tonights topic is a common one - who's to blame for the crisis in the middle east, and what's wrong with America. (One guy whistles and then shouts "Luv ya Dave O'Brien, you speak it as it is!")
Thank you, and I love America! (People cheer) Ya know, at commercial break, I got to really thinking about what the problem is here - the whole wide problem. Do you know what the problem here is Maurice?
Cut to Maurice, a black man in his 60's, who happens to be the band leader of the show. He's wearing dark sunglasses and might remind you of Ray Charles, with his big grin and all.
Maurice - Ahhh, I don't know. What is the problem here Dave?
Dave OBrien - Well, if we could just go back to a clip of the second last caller, maybe you'll pick it up.
Cut to Dave at his desk as he taps a button on his phone.
Dave O'Brien - Hello caller, you are on the late night shift with Dave O'Brien.
Female Caller - Yes, I'd just like to comment on the middle east....and America as a whole.
Dave O'Brien - (Rolls his eyes) Oh boy. Go ahead.
Female caller - Ya know, I'm really frightened - I'm really, really frightened by what I see - not only by what's going on in Lebanon, but by what is going on in THIS country. (Dave shakes his head in disbelief)
I'm very concerned for my childrens future. What I'm talking about is this Neo-con attitude by our government. We need to stop fanning the flames of hate and start fanning the fires of reconciliation.
Dave O'Brien - And how my dear do you suggest we do that?
Female Caller - I truly think we should send Bill Clinton to the middle east - AND - elect Hillary Clinton as President.
Dave O'Brien - And why not send Jimmy Carter too so he can feel useful?
Female Caller - That is a good idea. Please, for our childrens futures, so they can continue to go to school and play soccer after school, we need to change.
Dave O'Brien - Thank you caller - well, not really.
Cut back to Dave in present time.
Dave O'Brien - Did you pick up what I was talking about Maurice?
Maurice - No.
Dave O'Brien - Would you like me to tell you what the whole problem with the middle east and with America is Maurice?
Maurice - As a matter of fact, I would Dave. I would like to know.
Dave O'Brien - Ok, I'll tell you Maurice - it's D-W-B-S-M's.
Cut to Maurice with a quizzical look on his face.
Maurice - That's an abbreviation! God damn! (He covers his mouth as if he said a real bad word)
Dave O'Brien - Yes it is Maurice, and it stands for Dumb White Bitch Soccer Moms. (He kinda looks around for a sense of what people in the audience think, his head bobbing around, as if he thinks he just revealed the biggest revelation - a little cocky and sure of himself).
Maurice - (Kinda feeling it out as he says this) Dumb white bitch soccer moms. Ain't that the truth!
The audience kind of claps. Somebody yells "Your Awesome Maurice!" Maurice just nods.
Dave O'Brien - Dumb white bitch soccer moms indeed. That is the whole problem with America, and I tell you people, and with what's going on in the middle east. Who keeps shouting anti-America slogans on the streets Maurice?
Maurice - Dumb white bitch soccer moms.
Dave O'Brien - Who is uninformed of the real issues in this country?
Maurice - Dumb white bitch soccer moms.
Dave O'Brien gets up and begins to walk about.
Dave O'Brien - Who was responsible for getting Bill Clinton elected? - TWICE!!
Maurice - Dumb white bitch soccer moms.
Dave walks up to the audience and asks a chubby woman in her late 30's -
Dave O'Brien - And who's going to be responsible for getting Hillary Clinton elected?
Chubby Lady - (Shy and smiling) Dumb white bitch soccer moms?
Dave O'Brien - Exactamundo. Now your not one of them are you?
Chubby Lady - No.
Dave O'Brien - I didn't think so otherwise you probably wouldn't be here - you my sweet lady, are nothing like them. You are informed of the real issues in America, AND the middle east. Maurice?
Maurice - Dumb white bitch soccer moms.
Dave O'Brien - Exactly. We'll be right back after these messages from our sponsers!!! (All excited)
Fade Out
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- SNY Promo with Michael Ian Black -- Prateek S., 00:08:09 07/27/06 Thu
...Michael Ian Black
(Michael Ian Black is standing at Home base)
Michael Ian Black: Hi I’m Michael Ian Black and I’m “mock hosting” Saturday Night You this weekend. Just so you know... I really don’t love the 80s. In fact I hate it with a passion!
(He gets into a karate fighting stance)
Michael Ian Black: I’ve kicked nostalgia’s ass before and I’ll do it again!
(End)
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- Saturday Night You promo with Eva Longoria -- Jim Bevan, 10:17:42 11/16/05 Wed
All right, here's my first attempt at a promo piece. Let me know what you think of it.
... Eva Longoria
... Kenan Thompson
(Eva and Kenan stand on home base to address the camera)
Eva Longoria: Hi, I'm Eva Longoria. Don't miss my hosting Saturday Night You this weekend with musical guest Korn.
Kenan Thompson: Or, for all you foreign viewers, that's musical guest Maize.
(He chuckles lightly, Eva turns to Kenan and looks surprised)
Eva Longoria: Hey, how'd you get out of the basement?
Kenan Thompson (offended): Eva, we've already been through this. I'm not the guy who was locked up down...
Eva Longoria (loudly): Get back down there! (she points offstage)
Kenan Thompson (sighs in frustration): Fine, fine. (he begins to march off to the right) Just don't make the chains so tight this time.
(fade out)
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- REVIEWS: Zach Braff 07/15/06 -- Patrick Lonergan, 23:28:38 07/20/06 Thu
Low turnout this week - 2 writers - but let Mark and Jim know what you think. Hopefully, I'll be in a better position to get the next update posted on time for the 29th.
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- Bye Fey -- feh, 15:01:09 07/22/06 Sat
YAY Fey's finlly leaving SNl. Oh yeah studio 60 will do better than her crappy sitcom.
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- SNY PROMO WITH ZACH BRAFF -- jennings, 02:27:04 07/14/06 Fri
...Zach Braff
(Zach stands alone at homebase, delivering the promo)
Zach Braff: Hi. I'm Zach Braff and I'll be hosting Saturday Night You this weekend. And in case you didn't know, "sweet & sour" is my favorite kind of sauce for Chicken McNuggets. Sweet! Sour! Saucy!
(END)
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- The First Saturday Night Live Promo -- Prateek S., 13:11:28 07/18/06 Tue
Hey fellow writers I hope everything is going okay. I haven't visited the site in awhile. Anyways I was on youtube.com today and I found the first Saturday Night Live promo. Certainly does take you back in time to October 11, 1975. Enjoy!
<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_Q-HBHsn54">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_Q-HBHsn54</a>
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- REVIEWS: Amy Sedaris 07/01/06 -- Patrick Lonergan, 11:31:10 07/02/06 Sun
Alright, finally got all the sketches uploaded from my remote location! And at the moment I'm drawing a blank on the next site update and mock host (my notes aren't in front of me), but I'm confident everyone here knows for me.
Review away!
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- REVIEWS: Stephen Colbert 06/10/06 -- Patrick Lonergan, 22:12:11 06/10/06 Sat
I've been out all day, but here's all the sketches submitted in my absence. Review away!
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Replies:
- Review to come, but first a correction... -- Hillary, 01:32:52 06/11/06 Sun
- I don't know if you recieved this Pat, -- Prateek S., 12:33:07 06/11/06 Sun
- Monologue (separate for a reason, rest of the episode to come) -- Hillary, 23:19:01 06/12/06 Mon
- I got 99 problems, but a review ain't one! -- Hillary, 22:24:27 06/14/06 Wed
- Stay cool in the summer heat with this Stephen Colbert inspired review. -- Prateek S., 12:19:09 06/17/06 Sat
- The Diet Mug Root Beer Dana Carvey Review -- Jason, 16:47:50 06/30/06 Fri
- SNY PROMO WITH AMY SEDARIS -- jennings, 12:49:53 06/29/06 Thu
...Amy Sedaris
...Amy Poehler
(Amy Sedaris stands next to Amy Poehler on the home base stage to deliver the promo)
Amy Sedaris: Hello. I'm Amy Sedaris and I'm hosting SNY this weekend.
Amy Poehler: Great! Now I can do that "Single White Female" parody!
Amy Sedaris: Amy, I cut that sketch. Besides that movie is over a decade-old.
Amy Poehler: INCONCEIVABLE!
Amy Sedaris: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
(END)
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- Hello, everyone -- JPIII, 01:05:57 06/25/06 Sun
Just thought I'd drop a line to my boys over at SNY. How's everyone been? I noticed that most of the mock-host submitters are old-guard (folks I know, I mean).
Anyway, let me hear ya.
JPIII
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- What happened to the archives? Went to review a past episode, and nothing. -- Jason, 19:51:57 06/28/06 Wed
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- I need a transcript of something from the actual SNL -- Mark, 02:45:42 06/21/06 Wed
I need a transcript of the Halloween song that Will Forte sang during Weekend Update from the Kate Winslet episode by Thursday. Can somebody help? If anybody has this episode on tape can they please transcribe the song. If anybody has it PM it to me please. Thanks.
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- SNY Promo with Stephen Colbert. -- Jim Bevan, 06:05:01 06/08/06 Thu
... Stephen Colbert
(Stephen stands at home base and addresses the camera)
Stephen: Hello, I'm Stephen Colbert and I'll be hosting the premire episode of Saturday Night You's summer season with Catch Twenty Two. The band, not the novel. Sorry to disappoint any Joseph Heller fans out there.
(fade out)
* I hope I didn't send this in too early, but I saw that the update was scheduled for the 10th.
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- UPDATE ANCHOR FOR THE SUMMER -- jennings, 13:19:55 05/28/06 Sun
With Tina gone, who should we have anchoring WU for the summer? When Jimmy left, Tina didn't by herself.
Post your choice here.
Results will be revealed this Saturday (6/3)
Amy by herself
Amy with Tina
The host co-anchors with Amy
The host anchors WU
OTHER (please describe)
Thanks
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- Nominations for Best of the Year -- Jim Bevan, 20:31:17 05/20/06 Sat
I apologize if this isn't the right forum, but I just thought it would be a good spot to post our picks for the best sketches of the year. I'm doing mine differently from last year's where I only picked one from each episode, since plenty of shows had multiple skits I thought were great. So I'm posting all of my favorites from each show this season. Hope that's okay.
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- REVIEWS: Julia Louis-Dreyfus 05/13/06 -- Patrick Lonergan, 21:46:08 05/13/06 Sat
All sketches have been received. Review away!
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- Honeymoon trip video -- Patrick Lonergan, 19:31:10 01/11/06 Wed
In the off chance that anyone is interested, I thought I'd show off a small piece of last summer's honeymoon trip footage that I've put the finishing touches on. In place of sounds of the wind hitting the camcorder, I've set the footage to music, as I will continue to do as I edit the remaining footage. This piece is culled from our day trip to areas north of San Francisco, including Muir Woods, wine country and Bodega Bay. Embedded video in the Reply.
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- Patrick, just in case you didn't get my e-mail... -- Jim Bevan, 10:34:22 05/25/06 Thu
would you like me to handle the nominations for the best of the year picks?
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- REVIEWS: Kevin Spacey 05/20/06 -- Patrick Lonergan, 17:45:07 05/20/06 Sat
There might be one more sketch from Prateek, but let's get this update rolling! Reviews pending?
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Replies:
- I just sent the rest of my stuff. Sorry if I'm sending it late Pat. (NT) -- Prateek S., 18:04:07 05/20/06 Sat
- Re: REVIEWS: Kevin Spacey 05/20/06 -- Jim Bevan, 20:29:23 05/20/06 Sat
- The Phrase and You! by: Prateek Srivastava reviewed -- Matteo, 22:59:44 05/20/06 Sat
- Cold Opening by Mark Jennings Reese -- Matteo, 23:21:45 05/20/06 Sat
- Hot Pockets by Fatman -- Matteo, 23:49:01 05/20/06 Sat
- The People's Court by Justin Kaplowitz -- Matteo, 00:45:03 05/21/06 Sun
- School Board Hearings by Jim Bevan -- Matteo, 01:22:12 05/21/06 Sun
- An SNY Digital Short: The Mannequin by Mark Jennings Reese II -- Matteo, 01:39:44 05/21/06 Sun
- Answering Machine by Jason Dignard -- Matteo, 02:13:03 05/21/06 Sun
- Family Feud by: Jason Dignard -- Matteo, 22:41:37 05/22/06 Mon
- The Sneeze by: Patrick Lonergan -- Matteo, 23:22:39 05/22/06 Mon
- An Announcement from the Treasury Department by: Mark Jennings Reese II -- Matteo, 23:51:47 05/22/06 Mon
- Crud’s Cyber Cafe by Prateek Srivastava -- Matteo, 01:10:48 05/23/06 Tue
- Prom Date by Fatman -- Matteo, 01:33:47 05/23/06 Tue
- The first half -- Hillary, 21:29:58 05/23/06 Tue
- REVIEWS: Lindsay Lohan 04/15/06 -- Patrick Lonergan, 17:54:00 04/15/06 Sat
I think Prateek is revising the ending of the O'Reilly sketch, but here's this week's update for initial reviews.
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- Anyone have advice on how to do "Digital Short" pieces? -- Jim Bevan, 15:50:51 05/22/06 Mon
I have a few ideas for "Digital Short" sketches for the summer season, but I've never done them before and don't really know how to execute them. Are there any tricks I should know, any special way of writing descriptive dialogue? I'd really appreciate any help. Thanks.
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- Why was Rob Riggle fired by SNL? -- Curious, 17:19:53 04/27/06 Thu
They seemed to be using him a lot - I was surprised he was gone.
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