A clarification on my butt -- Saturday Night You Bull Sessions

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Date Posted: 00:27:10 03/25/04 Thu
Author: JP
Subject: A clarification on my butt
In reply to: Jim Bevan 's message, "A clarification on Norm MacDonald" on 20:30:26 03/23/04 Tue

Did Norm, like, come up to you when you were little and like steal your Crunch Bar or something? I think the dude is pretty hilarious.

Okay I picked a WU at random...and it happened to be the one with the hilarious Strugs...oh man that was funny. And here are some jokes I think people probably laughed at whether they wanted to or not:

----------The following has been reprinted without permission for the sake of showing Norm MacDonald had funny WU jokes---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In Los Angeles this week, the defense suffered a setback in the second O.J. trial when Simpson was ordered to turn over a secret videotape which lawyers say contains proof of his guilt. What's on the tape? The first O.J. trial.

In the Midwest last week, Bob Dole charged that if President Clinton is re-elected, he'll put Hillary Clinton in charge of welfare reform. Asked to respond, President Clinton said, 'Yes, it's true. Also Chelsea will be secretary of state and my brother Roger will take over as drug czar. Oh and one more thing -- I'm still gonna win.'.

Last week in Arizona, Marine Corps Engineers extended a steel barrier between the United States and Mexico by two and a half miles. It's all part of a plan to make illegal aliens walk an extra two and a half miles.

This week Dr. Kervorkian was granted an emergency 30-day permit to carry a handgun, after telling a court he fears 'right-wing nuts.' But if you ask me, I think he's just getting a little lazy.

Speaking in Florida earlier this week, Bob Dole launched his harshest attack yet on President Clinton, accusing him of 'naked failure of leadership' and 'moral confusion' in the fight against drugs. In response President Clinton said, 'Everything you say is true. But guess what, I'm still gonna win.'.

The Federal Aviation Administration has come up with a list of 30 changes to make air travel safer. No. 1 on the list: no more crashes.

At the box office, last week's No. 1 movie, 'The First Wives Club,' was knocked out of the top spot by the new film, 'The Hotter, Younger, 2nd Wives Club.

Boxer Tommy Morrison, who is HIV positive, has announced plans to come out of retirement for one last fight. When asked about the possible health risks that his opponents face, Morrison said, 'They might get AIDS.'.

In Bridgeport, Conn., the Shaghticoke Indian tribe is seeking recognition by the Bureau of Indian Affairs in order to open either a manufacturing company or a casino ... Hmmm, I wonder which one they'll choose.

According to the EPA, it will cost an estimated $295 million to clean up toxic waste at the former Lockheed Martin Military Air Craft Plant in California. The cause of the toxic waste, you guessed it -- Frank Stallone.

---------------end of transcript---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think those are all pretty solid jokes and I just picked that at random. Norm has a ton of classic jokes dude if u're into his stuff. It's all about your perspective. And though u've said where u stand, your reasons for standing there certainly don't make me wanna come over and stand with you.
In that way u're sort of like that creepy dude at the bus stop...just playin!

My favorite WU dudes are probably...1)Norm MacDonald, 2)Dennis Miller, 3)Tina Fey, 4)Jimmy Fallon, 5)Colin Quinn

Those choices could changes pending serious thought on the subject.

Actually...all of this was so I could get to my Norm MacDonald impression:

(JP starts doing his Norm MacDonald)

My, uh, best friend just got married a little while ago. Yeah...yeah he married a whore. Uh, yeah and has this ever happened to you...your best friend is about to marry a whore so u're like 'Hey, don't marry her...she's a whore.". And then, instead of being like 'Oh hey, thanks for warning me about that whore thing.' your buddy stops talking to you and refuses to return any of you phone calls? Has that happened to anybody? No just me? I mean there area a lot of whores out there...getting married and such...no...okay. Yeah well anyways it worked out okay I guess. Yeah I starteed hanging out with his wife. Yeah, you gotta luv the whores.

(end of impression)

Well...it's not that good yet but I'm working on it...Maybe I'll add some crack and stick in some...

Well gotta go!

EL JP LOCO

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